96+ Thumb Puns & Jokes: You’ll Give ‘Em a Thumbs Up!
Get ready to laugh your thumbs off! π This list of the best thumb puns and jokes is perfect for kids and adults who love some clever humor. We’ve got puns that are truly thumb-thing special, and jokes that will tickle your funny bone. So give your thumbs a rest from scrolling and dive into this hilarious list! π π
Top Thumb Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t thumbs ever graduate? Because they’re always under their parents’ skin!
- What do you call a group of thumbs in a huddle? A thumb-storm!
- I tried to make a belt out of watches… but it was a complete waste of time. Then I tried to make one out of thumbs… turned out it was just two inches too short.
- Did you hear about the detective who only investigated thumbs? He was known for always being on the case!
- My friend tried to convince me thumbs weren’t fingers… I told him “Get a grip!”
- A thumb walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Hey, I know you! You’re all thumbs!” The thumb replied, “Hey, I’m just trying to keep a low profile!”
- What’s a thumb’s least favorite vegetable? Asparagus! It’s much too hard to get a grip.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… and he had a green thumb!
- What do you get when you combine a thumb and a clock? Time flies!
- My friend injured his thumb right before his piano recital. He said it was the worst thing to happen to his career since he lost his thumbs piano insurance.
- A thumb walked into a library and asked for books on hitchhiking. The librarian whispered, “They’re right over there… in the travel section.”
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! What do you call a lazy thumb? A couch potato, of course!
- Why did the artist use their thumb to paint the sunset? They wanted to give it a more personal touch!
- Why are thumbs terrible at playing hide and seek? Because they always stick out!
Clever Thumb Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to make furniture with my thumbsβ¦ Turns out, Iβm all thumbs.
- What did the hitchhiker say to the runaway thumbs? “Hey! Wait up!”
- My friend hurt his thumb breakdancing⦠He said it was a real toe-tapping experience.
- What does a lawyer use to surf the internet? His e-thumb.
- My thumb got promoted at the hand modeling agencyβ¦ Heβs really moving up in the world.
- I was reading a dictionary. It was thumbelievable!
- I met a beekeeper who could communicate using his thumbsβ¦ He says itβs all about bee-ing positive.
- Did you hear about the psychic dwarf who escaped from jail? They say heβs got a small medium at large.
- My friend is writing a novel about hitchhikingβ¦ Heβs calling it βThe Thumb Diaries.β
- What do you call it when a group of thumbs play music? A thumb band!
- Did you hear about the guy who got his driver’s license revoked for excessive thumb-twiddling? Apparently, he was being un-thumb-lievably unproductive.
- My kids think they’re too cool for thumbs-upβ¦ They only use their pinky finger to show approval. I guess itβs the new βpinky-swearβ generation.
- What’s a thumb’s least favorite housework? Thumb-tacking down the carpet.
- What’s green and brown and has to be seen to be believed? An un-bee-lievable thumb!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field! (Bonus pun using the often-paired “thumb’s opposite” – the pinky finger!)
Funny Thumb One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Thumb Jokes
- I tried to explain to my friend what thumbs are for, but I guess it went right over his head.
- My friend tried to hitchhike home with a broken thumb⦠you could say he was all thumbs.
- I tried to make a sculpture of a thumb out of stone, but it was too hard.
- What do you call a painfully shy thumb? A th-th-thumb.
- I asked my grandpa what life was like before smartphones. He gave me a thumbs down.
- Why was the detective suspicious of the hitchhiker? He had a criminal thumbprint.
- I went to a rock concert last night and stuck my thumb in the air… turned out it was a classical music concert. I got the cold shoulder.
- What’s a bodybuilder’s favorite way to approve of something? Give ’em a thumbs up… muscle up!
- Dating a thief is rough. Especially when they steal your heart AND your thumbprint.
- I’m writing a song about thumbs… it’s going to be called “The Opposable Song.”
- I knew my friend wasn’t a very good gardener, but when I saw his garden, I had to admit β he really wasn’t all he was thumbed up to be.
- A giant thumb just walked into a barβ¦ the bartender said “Hey, I know you! You’re all fingers and thumbs!β
- Someone asked me if I liked their thumb wrestling skills… I said, “Honestly, I’m not thrilled.”
- My friend lost his job as a professional thumb-twiddler… said he felt like he was going nowhere fast.
Thumb QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Thumb
- Q: What do you call a clumsy dinosaur with big thumbs? A: A Thum-basaurus Rex!
- Q: Why did the thumb get promoted? A: It was always right beside the boss!
- Q: How do you make a thumb stew? A: You gotta thumb it good!
- Q: What happened when the thumbs went on strike? A: Everyone was all thumbs!
- Q: What’s a thumb’s favorite dance move? A: The hitchhiker’s jig!
- Q: What does a thumb use to surf the internet? A: A thumb drive!
- Q: Why did the artist give up painting thumbs? A: He realized he was stuck in a rut!
- Q: What’s the fastest way to get around with a hurt thumb? A: Hitchhiking!
- Q: What did the thumb say to the hitchhiker? A: Looking for a lift?
- Q: What did the thumb say to the nose? A: Between you and me, something stinks!
- Q: What award did the giant thumb win? A: Two thumbs up!
- Q: Why don’t thumbs ever graduate? A: They’re always stuck in school!
- Q: What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? A: You can tune a piano, but you canβt tuna fish… unless youβre using your thumb!
- Q: Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? A: I heard the food was good, but it had zero atmosphere…and no thumbs allowed!
- Q: How do you make a band comprised entirely of thumbs rock? A: Give them a hand!
Dad Jokes About Thumb: Pun-Filled Quips
- I used to be a hitchhiker, but I had to quit. I realized I wasn’t giving it the thumbs up.
- What did the mom say to her son who wanted to learn thumb magic? “Give it a try, you’ve got this under your thumb!”
- Why don’t they have thumb wrestling in the Olympics? It’s all up in the air which way it’ll go!
- My friend tried to make hand lotion out of peanut butter. I told him, “Don’t be nuts, that’s going to be one sticky situation, particularly for your thumb!”
- What does a cactus use for transportation? Auto-thumb-biles!
- I hurt my thumb the other day. The doctor said it was a sprain, but I think I’m experiencing a lack of thyme.
- Did you hear about the thumb that went to art school? He was really good at drawing hands!
- You know, they say thumbs up for good, thumbs down for badβ¦ but what about thumbs sideways? Sounds like someone’s on the fence.
- What do you call a game show about thumbs? The Price is Right Under Your Nose!
- I tried to make a sculpture out of Play-Doh but only used my thumb. It was abstract art, get it? Abs-thumb-ract!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field, especially with that green thumb!
- What’s green and has a thumb? A very confused hitchhiker!
- My kid asked me what my favorite texting term was. I told him, “Easy, thumbs up for sure!” He just rolled his eyes. Kids these days have no appreciation for the classics.
- Why is it so hard to have a serious conversation with a thumb? They’re always giving you the silent treatment!
Thumb Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the thumb get sent to the principal’s office? Because it was caught texting in class!
- What does a thumb wear to a fancy party? A thumb-tack!
- Why couldn’t the little girl find her toy elephant? It was hidden in her thumb-bnail!
- What did the grandpa thumb say to the baby thumb? You’re looking thumb-tastic today!
- What did the thumb say after a long day of playing tag? “I’m all thumb-tired out!”
- What’s a thumb’s favorite dessert? A cup of thumb-cake!
- Why did the snail get a job at the nail salon? They said he was great at giving thumb-icures!
- Why was the thumb feeling left out? Because all the other fingers had their own ring finger!
- What game does a thumb like to play in the bath? Thumb-battleships!
- I used to have a really bad habit of biting my nails… …but thankfully, I’ve kicked it… to the thumb!
- What do you call a very strong thumb? A thumb-pressive athlete!
- Why are thumbs bad at playing hide and seek? Because they always stick out!
- What kind of music does a thumb like? Anything with a good beat to thumb-tap to!
- Why don’t thumbs ever tell secrets? Because they’re all thumbs!
- What does a thumb use to clean their phone screen? A thumb-print wipe!
Thumb Jokes and Puns for Elders
- I told my doctor I thought I had fractured my thumb. He said, “Don’t point at me, I’m not a miracle worker!”
- My wife walked in with a basket of grapes and said, “These are from that new vineyard, ‘Thumbs Up’ Winery. Have you heard of it?” I told her, “I can’t say I’ve heard of it or tasted it, but I can certainly give it a ‘thumbs up’.”
- An archaeologist friend of mine just discovered a prehistoric thumb bone. Heβs so excited; he thinks itβs the oldest thumbs up ever.
- Why did the elderly couple break up? Because they were arguing over whose turn it was to be the ‘thumb’ in their charades game. Apparently, acting out “sore loser” gets old after a while.
- My friend said his chiropractor was amazing. “He cracked my back, my neck, even my thumb!” I said, “Sounds more like a magician than a medical professional.”
- Retirement is great! I finally have time for all the things I never could before, like learning sign language. Iβm already pretty good at the thumbs up, though.
- I saw a guy walking a dog the size of a small pony today. I asked him, “Does he bite?” He said, “Only if you get in the way of his thumbs up.”
- My grandson tried to teach me how to text. Itβs not going so well. My thumbs aren’t as nimble as they used to be. I’m all about that “one word per minute” life now.
- I went to a palm reader the other day. She took one look at my hand and said, “Wow, youβve got a very charismatic thumb!” I guess charisma really is key.
- My doctor says I need to be more active. So I took up sculpting. Now I spend hours molding clayβ¦ mostly with my thumbs. It’s surprisingly tiring!
- You know you’re getting old when the most action your thumbs get is scrolling through your phone.
- My friend says he feels like heβs constantly under his wifeβs thumb. I said, βJoin the club. We have weekly meetingsβ¦ usually in the garden section of Home Depot.”
- My new smartphone is so smart, it even recognizes my thumbprint when I’m wearing gloves. It still takes terrible selfies though.
- My doctor told me I need to strengthen my hands. I guess all those years of giving a thumbs-up to well-mixed martinis have finally caught up with me.
Thumb Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My friend tried to make thumb-print cookies but messed it up. I guess you could say he made a real faux pas-try. π₯π
- I just saw a guy carrying a huge stack of dictionaries. I was gonna offer help, but thatβs just my thumb rule. ππ
- Why don’t they have a thumbs-up emoji for thumbs down? Seems kinda one-sided. π€
- My phone’s autocorrect keeps changing “thumb” to “tomb”. It’s really starting to creep me out. π»π±
- You know you’ve spent too much time on your phone whenβ¦ you get a paper cut and instinctively try to zoom in. π©π€
- They say thumbs-up means good in all cultures…except for squid. For them it’s pretty off-tentacle. π¦π
- My friend’s a sculptor. He specializes in tiny hands. I guess you could say he’s got a niche market. π€π¨βπ¨
- What’s it called when a group of gorillas give you the thumbs up? A sign of the primates. π¦π
- My boss told me to write a report on the history of thumbs. I told him it was a short story. βοΈπ€
- Tried to teach my dog to give me a thumbs up. He just stared at me blankly. I guess you could say he wasn’t paw-sitively inclined. πΆπ
- Broke my thumb but refused to go to the doctor. I figured I’d just wing it. π€ποΈ (Don’t actually do this!)
- Why donβt vampires like using smartphones? They say touchscreens are too cumbersome. π§ββοΈπ±π
- My robotic vacuum cleaner just gave me a thumbs up. Guess it approves of my cleaning…or lack thereof. π€π