140+ Baby Puns & Jokes: Formula for Laughter!
Get ready to laugh your 😂 baby booties off! 🥳 This isn’t your average, spit-up-stained list of baby jokes – we’ve compiled the BEST, most clever puns and humor about those adorable little humans. 👶 From new baby humor to jokes for kids, get ready for a giggle fest that’s anything but childish. 😉 This list of positive and funny jokes about babies is sure to tickle your funny bone! 😄
Top ‘Baby Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why don’t babies need sunglasses? Because they’re already wearing shades of sleep deprivation!
- What do you call a baby kangaroo that never wins at hide and seek? Easy prey! (Easy, baby!)
- Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
- You know you’ve been changing too many diapers when… You start signing your emails with “Sent from my crib.”
- What do you call a group of tired parents? A yawn-fest!
- How did the baby know they were ready for their first haircut? They couldn’t see over their own forehead!
- My friend named his baby “Statistics.” That’s a name I never thought I’d see on a birth certificate.
- Why are babies like little quarterbacks? They’re always spitting up the play! 🏈
- Sleep when the baby sleeps? Please, that’s my time to fold laundry in the dark while eating leftover chicken nuggets!
- What does a baby computer call its father? Data!
- My baby boy is so strong, he can hold his own bottle… and his mother’s sanity hostage simultaneously.
- What’s a baby’s favorite Shakespearean play? “Much Ado About Nothing” (because babies are famous for it!).
- To the person who stole my antidepressants… I hope you enjoy your new baby!
- Parenting is a breeze. Said no one ever, except for maybe that one lady with the suspiciously quiet baby on the plane.
- Having a baby is a life-changer. It’s like going from being a rockstar to roadie overnight.
- How is being a parent like being a detective? You spend most of your time trying to figure out what they’re trying to tell you.
- Why don’t they have baby gambling in Las Vegas? Because the stakes are too high!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, I took it to a movie. The baby seemed to enjoy it.
- Remember, babies are like little drunk people. They cry a lot, they have trouble with motor skills, and they constantly need someone to hold them. 😉
Clever ‘Baby Puns’ – Best Picks
- What do you call a baby kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A pouch potato.
- Why don’t they play poker in the maternity ward? Too many baby bluffs.
- My friend named his baby after a punctuation mark. It was a bold move!
- I just saw a baby ghost crying. He said he wanted his boo-hoo-ties.
- Having children is like having a bowling team. Not always sure what you’ve bowled, but you get stuck with it for years.
- Parenting is a breeze. Said no one ever.
- What do you call a baby with a drum set? A real cry-er.
- What’s the difference between a baby and a pile of sand? You can’t diaper a pile of sand.
- I wanted to name my baby WiFi. That way, I could finally get some peace and quiet.
- My baby’s first word was “data.” I guess he’s already downloading information.
- I used to rock my baby to sleep singing lullabies. Now I just whisper passwords and swear I won’t check my phone.
- What did the baby say when he learned about electricity? “Watt’s up?”
- Babies are like little hippos. They’re always hungry, hungry, hungry.
- I took my baby to a restaurant called “Karma.” There was no menu, you just get what you deserve.
- My baby learned to walk. Now I spend all day saying, “No, don’t touch that!”
- Having a baby is a life-changer. Especially sleep.
- What do you call a group of babies in a choir? A wailing wall.
- Babies are like credit cards. You can’t have just one.
- My baby is practicing his ABCs. He’s already up to drool.
- Parenthood: Fueled by coffee and powered by love. Mostly coffee.
Funny ‘Baby One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Baby Jokes
- I just saw a baby with a bib that said, “Spit Happens.” Guess you could say they were dressed for the drool.
- My friend named her baby “Ctrl+V” because he’s a paste-master at mealtime.
- Having a baby is an adventure, especially when you realize sleep is just a distant memory.
- People say babies are expensive. They’re right, I haven’t had a decent cup of coffee in months.
- I finally taught my baby to sleep through the night… Now if only I could teach myself.
- My baby’s first word was “data.” Guess you could say he’s a little tech-savvy.
- Having a baby is like living in a time warp. Every day feels like a year, and every year feels like a blur.
- They say babies are like little miracles. I’m still waiting for mine to learn the miracle of sleeping in.
- Someone asked me what my baby’s favorite music is. I told them, “Anything without a steady beat.”
- My baby’s idea of a bedtime story is me listing all the things I need to get done tomorrow.
- Parenthood: fueled by coffee and the sheer will to keep a tiny human alive.
- I always thought “baby talk” was silly until I realized it was the only language I could speak for a year.
- My baby’s favorite game is peek-a-boo. My favorite game is sleep-when-you-can.
- Babies are adorable little creatures with the lung capacity of an opera singer.
- People told me having a baby would change my life. They were right. I didn’t realize I could function on so little sleep.
- I’m convinced my baby’s smile has magical powers. It makes me forget about the mountain of laundry piling up.
- Having a baby is a crash course in multi-tasking. I can now change a diaper, warm a bottle, and Google “is this poop normal?” all at the same time.
- I used to think I understood the concept of “unconditional love.” Then I met my baby, who loves me even when I’m covered in spit-up.
- My baby’s idea of a fun night out is pulling an all-nighter and practicing his high-pitched scream.
- They say it takes a village to raise a child. I’m pretty sure it also takes a coffee maker, a sense of humor, and a whole lot of patience.
Baby QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Baby
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the nursery? A: Too many cheaters, and the stakes are always high chair!
- Q: What do you call a baby who’s a whiz at math? A: A numeri-one!
- Q: Why was the baby sad they were born in December? A: They were told they were getting milk and cookies, but all they got was formula!
- Q: How did the parents know their baby would be a great artist? A: He was already making a real splash with finger paints!
- Q: What do you call it when a baby escapes from its crib? A: A jailbreak…fast, before they crawl away!
- Q: Why did the baby refuse to sleep in the crib? A: He said it was too “formula-ic” and he needed more “crib-ative” sleeping arrangements.
- Q: What music do babies love to dance to? A: Anything with a good bottle-service beat!
- Q: Why was the baby worried about growing up? A: He heard it was full of taxing experiences and he wasn’t even good at peek-a-boo!
- Q: Why did the parents get a robot nanny? A: They said it was the only one programmed to understand “baby talk”!
- Q: What’s a baby’s favorite Shakespearean play? A: “Much Ado About Nothing” …literally, that’s all they do!
- Q: How did the baby know he was ready to be potty trained? A: He felt his diapers were cramping his style.
- Q: Why did the baby cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide… he was tired of the “terrible twos”!
- Q: What do you do when a baby throws a tantrum in a library? A: You book it out of there!
- Q: Why did the baby get a job as a detective? A: He was a natural at finding hidden objects, especially under the couch!
- Q: What’s a baby’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything but the blues!
- Q: How do you get a baby to smile for a photo? A: Say “cheese!” …and then immediately hide it!
- Q: What do you call a baby who’s always getting into mischief? A: A little stinker!
- Q: Why don’t they have baby beauty pageants? A: Because everyone would be a winner…with a drool bib!
- Q: What’s a baby boy’s favorite type of car? A: A toy-ota!
Dad Jokes About Baby: Pun-Filled Quips
- “We named our baby boy ‘Hue’. Now we have a Hue-man being!”
- “Having a baby is an incredible diaper-tunity!”
- “My wife told me to change the baby, so I put on his little headphones. Rock on!”
- “The baby learned to crawl today! I had to chase him down the hall, shouting, ‘Hey, get back here with my knees!'”
- “Someone asked me if our baby was sleeping through the night yet. I said, ‘Sure,’ then winked. They fell for it hook, line, and sinker!”
- “The baby keeps spitting out his carrots. Guess he’s just not ready for root-ine maintenance.”
- “My wife said I need to embrace my new role as a father. So I gave the baby a big hug… and then I gave the teddy bear a turn, too!”
- “I’m thinking of starting a baby food review blog. I’d call it ‘The Bib Gourmand.'”
- “We’re potty training, and it’s going surprisingly well. I just wish I could remember where I put the little guy’s potty… oh, there it is, on my head.”
- “I tried to explain to my baby that it’s not polite to point. He just looked at me like I had lost my marbles.”
- “Having a baby is a bit like living in a zoo… except the zookeeper is always exhausted and covered in drool.”
- “People say we have our hands full with a newborn. I always say, ‘Nah, it’s okay, we have plenty of bibs.'”
- “Taking care of a newborn is a piece of cake! …Well, a piece of very messy, sleep-deprived, constantly-crying cake.”
- “We decided to hire a baby photographer. Now if only we could get the little guy to pose with his good side!”
- “The baby loves when I read to him. Especially that classic, ‘Goodnight Spoon, Goodnight Moon… Goodnight Drool Rag…'”
- “Tried to play hide and seek with the baby today. Turns out, peek-a-boo is way more his speed.”
- “The baby is learning new words every day. Today it was ‘Da-da.’ I’m so proud… even if he was just trying to say ‘dog.'”
- “They say babies are expensive. But they’re worth every penny… especially when they’re napping and I can finally finish my coffee!”
Baby Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
- What do you call a baby computer? A byte!
- How did the baby know they were ready to be born? They were running out of womb!
- What music do babies love? Anything with a good beat!
- What’s a baby’s favorite dance move? The bottle spin!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle nursery? Too many cheetahs!
- What do you get if you cross a baby and a computer? A screensaver you love to bits!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Baby. Baby who? Baby you’re the cutest!
- What do you call a baby kangaroo that’s always losing things? A pouch potato!
- Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool!
- Why don’t babies need glasses? Because they like bottle-vision!
- What does a baby computer call its father? Data!
- What do you call a baby bird that’s afraid of heights? A chicken!
- Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants too!
- What goes “Baa-bye, Baa-bye?” A sheep leaving the room!
- What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear? Boo-ties!
- Why was the baby bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb!
- What do you call a group of singing babies in a car? A car-seat choir!
- Where do sick ships go? The doc!
- What’s a baby’s favorite Shakespeare play? Much Ado About Nothing!
Baby Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the baby bottle laugh? Because it had a good nipple!
- My friend named his baby “Statistics.” I asked, “That’s an unusual name. Why Statistics?” He replied, “Well, we read that 9 out of 10 people love that name!”
- You know you’re an adult when ‘sleeping like a baby’ means waking up every 2 hours crying because you remembered your student loan payments.
- My friend just had a baby and named him “Ctrl+V.” He said it was a beautiful moment when he held his son for the first time.
- They say babies are expensive. But have you seen the price of avocado toast lately? No wonder millennials are putting off parenthood.
- What do you call a baby kangaroo that’s always losing at games? A sore loser-oo.
- I’m at that age where “baby” is starting to sound like a good pet name. Lower maintenance, you know?
- Just saw a sign at a fertility clinic that said “Conceive Today, Regret Tomorrow.” They really know their target audience.
- My friend’s baby keeps throwing up on his expensive rug. He’s really gotta learn to spit up his game.
- I told my friend his new baby looks like Winston Churchill. He said, “I’m not sure about that, but he definitely has a strong constitution.”
- Dating is like trying to find a matching sock in the dryer. And having a baby is like someone throwing a wet shoe in there.
- My friend said having a baby is the most rewarding experience of her life. I think she meant “expensive.”
- My wife wanted to name our baby “Hashtag.” I told her that was too social media-dependent.
- They say it takes a village to raise a child. But honestly, with the cost of childcare, it takes a small loan from seven different banks.
- My therapist told me to talk to my inner child. So, I put a onesie on my cat. Problem solved.
- My friend named his baby “Amazon Prime.” Now, he just expects everything to be delivered in two days or less.
- I finally understand why parents post so many baby pictures online. They’re just trying to prove they have a social life.
Baby Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- “What do you call a baby kangaroo that’s always getting into trouble? A pouch potato!” 🦘🥔
- “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is terrible advice. I need to eat and shower like a normal person… said no baby, ever. 😴🚿
- Baby, you’re so fine, you’re like a perfectly curated Instagram feed – picture perfect! 📸✨
- My baby’s first word was “data.” I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the iTree. 🍎👶💻
- Just survived another “baby shark” dance party. Send earplugs… and wine. 🦈🍷
- This baby has me trained like a dog. A very tired, very loved dog. 🐶❤️
- Someone asked me what kind of music my baby likes… Turns out, it’s the sound of silence. 🤫🎶
- Diaper change: because sometimes it’s an explosion, not just a code brown. 💩💥
- “Spit up” is such a cute way of saying projectile vomit. 🤮👶
- How did the baby know they were ready for their photo shoot? They just felt it in their bones… all two hundred of them. 👶📸🦴
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle nursery? Too many cheetahs! 🐆👶
- My wife told me to take the baby out for a stroller ride. So I did. I put him on the porch and drove around the block. Technically, I wasn’t wrong. 🤷♂️👶🚗
- Having a baby is a lot like having a roommate… who screams at 3 AM, poops their pants, and expects you to feed them. roommate 😱👶
- My baby is teething. I’ve lost 3 phones, a remote control, and my sanity. 🦷👶🤯
- They say babies are expensive. They’re not kidding! I haven’t slept this much since I was broke in college. 😴💸
- Why did the baby put on a helmet and shoulder pads? He was ready to crawl into the end zone! 🏈👶
- You know you’re a parent when you can identify the type of cry in the dark. 😭👂🦸
- Sleep? What’s sleep? Signed, Every Parent Ever. 😴🥱
Diaper We Say More? Baby Out! 👶 ##
We hope these baby jokes brought a smile to your face, or at least a little giggle to your gigglebox. Don’t be a crybaby, head over to our website for more punny delights!
