140+ Apple-solutely Hilarious Jokes & Puns ππ
Get ready to laugh your apples off! ππ This list of apple puns and jokes is the best way to add some fruity fun to your day. From clever puns to jokes that are perfect for kids, weβve got all the apple humor you could ever want. Get ready for some positive vibes and a whole lot of laughter β itβs going to be apple-solutely hilarious! π
Top βApple Jokesβ β Best Picks
- Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because he couldnβt find a date!
- What does an apple say when itβs confused? βAre you pulling my stem?β
- Whatβs it called when apples have a disagreement? A fruit feud!
- Why donβt apples share their iPhones? Theyβre afraid of iCloud storage limits.
- How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill!
- Why was the apple blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why did the worm get voted prom queen? Because she was the apple of everyoneβs eye!
- What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A pineapple!
- Why did the apple get detention? It kept throwing cores down the hallway.
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite type of music? Anything with a good beatβ¦and a pear!
- You know youβve been apple picking too long whenβ¦ you start judging peopleβs grocery store selections.
- Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it had a core-ruption!
- What does a tech-savvy apple farmer use to keep track of his harvest? An Apple Watch!
- I tried to make apple juice from concentrateβ¦ but I couldnβt focus.
- My friend said his new phone was βbuilt like a tank.β Turns out it was just an Apple product with a cracked screen.
- Why donβt they let apples play poker in the orchard? Too many cheaters with aces up their sleevesβ¦or stems!
- What did the Granny Smith say to the Golden Delicious? βYouβre looking awfully ripe today!β
- I went to an apple orchard dressed as a giant iPhone. Security kept asking me to βleafβ the property.
- Whatβs the most awkward moment on a first date? When your apple pie Γ la mode falls off your fork and into your lap.
- I told my friend I was going apple picking for the weekend. He said, βHave a core-some time!β

Clever βApple Punsβ β Best Picks
- I tried to make apple juice from scratch. Turns out, I just couldnβt concentr-apple enough.
- My friend asked if I wanted an apple. I said, βNah, Iβve had one on my phone all day.β
- What did the apple say to the worm? Hey, we need to have a serious core-to-core talk.
- This apple pie is amazing! Whatβs your secret ingredient? Talent. Pure appley-tude.
- Started a band called βThe Apple Cores.β Weβre known for our hard-core music.
- My dog ate my Apple charging cable. Heβs fine, but now heβs living life on the iEdge.
- Why did the apple get fired from the orchestra? It played the wrong chord-elle.
- Iβm writing a book about the history of apples. Itβs going to be an epic tale.
- What do you call a sad strawberry hanging out with some apples? Berry, berry blue.
- Why are apples such good dancers? They have an innate sense of rhythm and peels.
- Just saw an apple dressed as an orange for Halloween. Talk about a great dis-guise!
- I used to work at an apple orchard, but I got canned. It turns out I wasnβt cut out for it.
- What did the apple say to the orange? Hey, weβre like two peas in a pod! β¦Well, more like two fruits in a basket.
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metalβ¦ because then it gets bruised.
- Why did the apple cross the playground? To get to the other cider!
- I told my friend I was going apple picking. He said, βDonβt forget your app-etites!β
- You know, money really does grow on trees⦠Especially if those trees are in an apple orchard!
- My attempt at making apple pie was a complete crum-apple!
- Why donβt they allow apples in school? Theyβre always trying to hand out cores!
Funny βApple One-Liner Jokesβ β Short & Funny Apple Jokes
- I tried to make apple juice from concentrate, but I couldnβt quite drink the concept.
- Never tell your secrets in an apple orchard β they have too many ears.
- My friend said she wanted to live in a quaint apple town. I told her to be more specific β Granny Smith or Golden Delicious?
- Why couldnβt the apple pie win the argument? It was always getting crusty.
- Whatβs it called when apples form a singing group? A bushel-toned band.
- The apple farmer preferred dating younger women. He liked βem green.
- My attempt at writing an apple pun really fell flat. Guess I need to work on my delivery.
- What happens when you bite into a fake apple? You get a reality check.
- I saw a sign that said βWatch for Apples.β I thought, βHow do they watch anything without eyes?β
- Why did the apple get lost? It didnβt know its way home from cider.
- My friendβs apple farm is struggling. I think he needs to branch out.
- Iβm starting my own orchard with only crabapples. Hey, gotta start somewhere on the ladder of success!
- What does an apple do when itβs tired? It takes a nap-ple.
- Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because it couldnβt find a date.
- I tried to explain to my friend how to make apple cider, but he couldnβt concentrate.
- Apple picking: Itβs the only time itβs socially acceptable to pick on something smaller than you.
- You know, Adam and Eve really started a core problem for humanity.
- I tried to pay for my apples with leaves, but the cashier said it wasnβt currency-ent.
Apple QnA Quip β QnA Jokes & Puns about Apple
- Q: Why did the apple go out with the prune? A: Because he couldnβt find a date!
- Q: What does a worm say when itβs done eating an apple? A: Core blimey, that was good!
- Q: Why did the apple get fired from its job at the tech company? A: It kept crashing!
- Q: Whatβs an appleβs favorite type of music? A: Anything but heavy metal β they prefer cider!
- Q: Why did the teacher bring apples to school? A: She wanted to βenlightenβ her students!
- Q: What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A: A tooty fruity!
- Q: What did the apple say to the orange during the race? A: Looks like Iβm one up on you!
- Q: How did the apple ask the other apple to marry it? A: With a sweet, heartfelt proposal⦠and a 10-carat diamond ring!
- Q: Why are apples such good storytellers? A: They have a lot of tales to tell!
- Q: Whatβs an appleβs favorite romantic movie? A: Youβve Got Mailβ¦ Order!
- Q: Why did the apple blush during apple picking season? A: It saw the farmer checking it out!
- Q: Whatβs an appleβs favorite dating app? A: Plenty of Fish in the orchard!
- Q: Why did the apple pie cross the road? A: To prove it wasnβt chicken!
- Q: What happens when two apples fall in love? A: Itβs the core of a beautiful relationship!
- Q: Why did the apple break up with the pear? A: They felt they were incompatible!
- Q: Why donβt they allow iPhones at the Apple Picking Championship? A: Theyβre afraid someone will try to FaceTime their win!
- Q: What did Adam say to Eve about the apple? A: βHoneydew you know this means trouble?β
- Q: What did the Granny Smith say to the Red Delicious? A: βYouβre looking sharp today!β
- Q: What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A: A pineapple!
Dad Jokes About Apple: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to make apple juice from concentrate. Instructions said to add water, but I couldnβt find any concen-trees anywhere!
- Whatβs it called when an apple wins a competition? A-peel-ing victory!
- Why did the apple pie cross the road? It saw a crust it could trust!
- My kid asked me to buy five apples, but I only bought fourβ¦ I guess Iβm guilty of apple-solute disobedience!
- Just bought a watch made entirely of apples. Itβs a real core-isticated timepiece!
- Heard a rumor about apples. Turns out, it was just apple-gant propaganda.
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metalβ¦ because it bruises easily!
- Got kicked out of the Apple store today. Apparently, their return policy doesnβt cover βtaking a byteβ out of everything.
- Went apple picking with a friend. Turns out, heβs a real pro-fessional!
- My wife asked me to pass her the apple sauce. I told her, βI love you from my head to-matoes!β
- An apple a day keeps the doctor awayβ¦especially if you throw it hard enough!
- You know what they say, βThe apple doesnβt fall far from the treeβ¦ unless someone throws it really hard at their brother.β
- I tried to explain to my son that an apple is a fruit, not a phone. He didnβt believe meβ¦ said it had too many apps!
- If a group of oranges is called a βbunchβ, what do you call a group of apples? A-peel-ing!
- I used to work at an apple orchard, but I got fired for sleeping on the jobβ¦ I guess you could say I was caught βapple-napping.β
- Never argue with an apple. They always have a core-gent argument!
- What happens when you divide the circumference of an apple by its diameter? Apple pi!
- Why donβt they let apples on planes? Theyβre afraid theyβll start a core-ruption scheme in the cargo hold!
- What do you call a sad strawberry that hangs out with three apples? A berry blue-friend.
Apple Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the apple go out with the fig? > Because they were a perfect pear! π
- What did the apple core say to the worm? > βHey, youβre looking grate!β π
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite letter? > βA-peel-ingβ of course! π
- Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? > It needed a filling! π₯§
- What kind of music do apples love? > Anything but heavy metal β they prefer Pop! πΆ
- What did the apple say to the orange? > βYou sure are looking round today!β π
- Why did the apple cross the playground? > To get to the other slide! π
- Whatβs red and bad for your teeth? > A brickβ¦ but apples come close! π§±π¦·
- What do you call a sad apple? > A melon-choly apple! π
- Where do apples go on vacation? > New Core-k City! π½π
- What do you call an apple that plays the drums? > A pome-granate-arian! π₯
- Why was the apple blushing? > Because it saw the salad dressing! π³π₯
- What did the baby apple say to the mommy apple? > βI love you a whole bushel and a peck!β π₯°
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite game to play? > Apple-solutely anything! π
- Knock knock! > Whoβs there? > Apple. > Apple who? > Apple-solutely nobody but me! π
- What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? > A crabapple! π¦
- What does a happy apple do when it dances? > It gets jiggy with it! ππΊ
- How do trees get on the internet? > They log in! π³π»
Apple Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the apple go on a date with the fig? Because they heard dates were good for figuring things out.
- I tried to explain to my friend why his apple orchard business model was flawed, but he just wouldnβt listen. Guess you could say heβs resistant to change.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor awayβ¦ β¦Unless itβs thrown at you by an angry farmer. Then you might need a lawyer.
- My therapist told me to picture my problems as apples. I told him that sounded ridiculous, but he insisted, βTrust me, it works!β So I tried it. Now I have anxiety AND a fruit basket.
- What do you get when you cross a smartphone with a medieval weapon? A knight at the Apple store.
- I met a guy at a bar who claimed he was the inventor of Apple Pay. I knew he was lying. He tried to pay for his drinks with an actual apple.
- Why donβt they serve alcohol at Apple product launches? They donβt want people to realize how much money theyβre about to spend.
- My date kept bragging about his new Apple Watch, saying it could track all his activities. I told him, βMine can track your insecurities, but letβs not go there.β
- Whatβs red, delicious, and understands binary code? An Apple core programmer.
- Why are Apple products always so expensive? Because they know youβll pay anything to avoid the green text bubble.
- I went apple picking with my date. It was going great untilβ¦ β¦she caught me eyeing the cider donuts.
- Why was the apple embarrassed to be seen with the iPhone? Because it had a huge core and the iPhone was superficial.
- My doctor told me to eat more apples for fiber. Now Iβm starting to think heβs just trying to sabotage my internet connection.
- Whatβs the difference between an Apple and a bad comedian? You canβt hear the groans when an apple bombs on stage.
- My relationship is like biting into an apple: Sweet at first, but with the potential for things to get a little rotten if we donβt communicate.
- Why did Eve eat the forbidden fruit? Because she had push notifications turned on for βtempting offers.β
- Iβm starting to think Siri is judging my music choices. I mean, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but my playlist apparently requires a therapist.
- They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if you aim it right, you might just knock him out completely.
- I went on a date to an apple orchard once. It was cute at first, until I realized I was in love with the idea of her, not the core of who she was.
- Whatβs worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm. It means itβs onto bigger and better things. Like Android.
Apple Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- My friend tried to make apple juice in prison. Turns out it was an illegal cider operation.
- I threw an apple at someone today. Thankfully, I missed a core-ner.
- What did the apple say to the orange? βLooking sharp!β
- My attempt at making an apple pie was a complete crum-apple!
- What do you call an apple that plays music? A Pied Piper!
- Feeling stressed? Try apple-ication meditation. Itβs all about finding your inner peas and quiet.
- Just bought a self-driving Apple car. Itβs amazingβ¦ the CarPlay is incredible!
- A worm walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, βHey, we have a drink named after you!β The worm replies, βWhat? You have a drink called βSteveβ?β
- Why donβt they play poker in the orchard? Too many cheaters using Apple Jacks!
- Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because he couldnβt find a date!
- What did the doctor say to the apple with a bruise? βYouβve got a bad case of apple-plexy!β
- You know youβve been on your phone too long when even your apple has started to turn red.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
- Why did the apple go to the party alone? Because the orange was a-peeling!
- My grandpa started telling me about the good old days when everyone used rotary phones. I was like, βYeah, those were the apple of my iPhone.β
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite app? FaceTime!
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away⦠but only if you throw it hard enough!
- I just saw a sign that said βPick your own apples β $5.β Seems kind of steep. Iβll just steal them like everyone else.
- Went apple picking with a friend. I picked ten, she picked eight. I guess you could say Iβm two good.
Apple-solutely Pun-derful, Donβt You Think?
We hope these apple puns didnβt leave you feeling rotten to the core! If youβre still hungry for more laughs, peel yourself away from this page and explore the rest of our punny website. Weβve got jokes to suit every taste, so come on and take a bite!