93+ Tired Puns & Jokes That Are Anything But!
Hey there, weary travelers! 😴 Buckle up for the best list of tired jokes and puns this side of naptime! 😂 This collection is packed with enough humor to wake up a sleepy sloth – even the kids will be roaring with laughter! 🦁 Get ready for some truly clever wordplay – we’re not lion when we say these puns are absolutely hilarious! 😉
Top Tired Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they ever let tired hikers climb mountains? Because they peak too soon!
- I used to be addicted to sleeping. Thankfully, I’m completely recovered now, and just take naps when necessary.
- What’s the difference between a tired carpenter and an energized one? One’s always losing his drive, the other never loses his!
- Why did the librarian get fired from the sleep clinic? He kept telling everyone to be quiet!
- My doctor diagnosed me with extreme exhaustion. Luckily, I think I have enough energy to live with it.
- Why did the tired bicycle fall over? Because it was twoTIRED!
- Why did the tired gardener plant a light bulb? He was hoping for a power nap!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to a movie, but I think it fell asleep because it didn’t say anything.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in. Okay, I’m logging off, this is too much work for a tired comedian.
- What did the blanket say to the bed? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! Can we be done now? I’m hitting my sleep quota for the day.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! Alright, alright, I know that one was awful. I’m tired, give me a break!
- Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales! Okay, I’m officially out of material… and energy. Wake me up when it’s time for bed.
Clever Tired Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲
- I used to work in a tire factory. It was exhausting work – I got so tired of it!
- I tried to explain to my tired dog that it was time to go for a walk. He gave me the ultimate “paws” for thought. 🐶
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…or a really tired one who forgot their dentures. 🐻
- My eyelids are like heavy curtains…it’s time for this show to close! 😴
- My bed is calling my name. It’s like a siren song, only less dangerous and more comfy. 🛌
- I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do absolutely nothing. 😌
- I’m so tired, I can’t even think straight…which is weird, because I’m already lying down!
- What’s the difference between a tired person and a broken clock? Even a broken clock is right twice a day. ⏰
- My energy level is so low, it’s practically limboing under the rug. 💃
- Brain: You should go for a run! Me: I think I’ll let my eyelids do the running today. 🏃♀️
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I get tired just thinking about cooking it. 🐟
- My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation…in a hammock…inside a cloud. 🦥☁️
Funny Tired One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Tired Jokes
- I’m so tired, I could sleep through a whole episode of “The Wheel of Fortune” … and still be wondering who won.
- I put my tired feet up on the coffee table tonight. My wife wasn’t amused, but at least my drink is closer now.
- My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Oh, and also where I get tired.
- My doctor said I need to take my allergy medicine on an empty stomach. So, I’m waiting for my food to get tired.
- I wasn’t tired until I read the word “tired.” Now I can’t move.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now… unlike my laundry, which is tired of waiting.
- My friends are throwing me a surprise party for finally getting eight hours of sleep. Frankly, I’m too tired for this.
- People using the phrase “sleeping like a baby” clearly haven’t met my sleep-fighting, midnight-snacking toddler.
- I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Turns out, the ice was just tired.
- I tried to explain to my cat that I’m not a morning person, but she just yawned and looked bored. Clearly, she’s also tired.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I think I’ll start with that nap I accidentally took during my workday.
- Always thought my mattress was judging me…turns out it was just tired of my sleep procrastination.
- My weekend was so relaxing, it’s now feeling tired of the upcoming workweek. We should all be so lucky.
Tired QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tired
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: Pooched!
- Q: Did you hear about the tired gardener? A: He really loathed weeding!
- Q: Why did the bicycle fall over? A: It was twoTIRED!
- Q: Why do vampires need to sleep? A: They get coffin tired, too!
- Q: What’s a teacher’s favorite naptime? A: Recess-perience tranquility!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the beach at the end of the day? A: “I’m feeling tide down, let’s call it a night.”
- Q: What do you call an exhausted electrician? A: Wired and tired!
- Q: Why was the tired artist always sketching beds? A: He wanted to master the art of re-creation.
- Q: How do trees in a forest get the news? A: Through the grapevine…it can be tiring work though!
- Q: My friend tried to tell me about this amazing sleep app. Did it work? A: Sorry, I dozed off halfway through his pitch.
- Q: What’s a historian’s least favorite chore? A: Dating…it’s so tiring!
- Q: Why are ghosts such bad liars? A: Because their stories are always trans-parent. Plus, lying is exhausting!
- Q: What did one plate say to the other in the dishwasher? A: “Dinner was great, but I am wiped.”
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field … and never got tired!
- Q: What did the tired computer do? A: It hit the snooze button on the space bar!
Dad Jokes About Tired: Pun-Filled Quips
- I’m so tired from working at the tire factory all day, my whole body feels deflated.
- What do you call a nap in a car dealership? Exhausted model sleeping.
- You know you’re tired when you can barely lift your eyelids, let alone a finger!
- My wife told me to take the spider webs down instead of vacuuming. Now that’s what I call tired logic!
- Sleep is my second favorite thing in the world. You’re my first…I’m just too tired to remember what we were talking about.
- I tried starting a band called “The Tired”. We sounded great in practice, but we could never get a gig.
- Why don’t they ever serve pancakes at tire stores? Because they’re always flat.
- I wasn’t tired until I read the dictionary. That book put me straight to sleep.
- The energizer bunny went to jail. Turns out he was charged with battery.
- Did you hear about the insomniac accountant? He lost his job because he couldn’t balance his sleep schedule.
- My wife said I was being grumpy. I told her, “Hey, I’m not tired, I’m just retired!”
- This coffee tastes a little tired. Think it needs a re-tire-ment?
- I’m so tired I could sleep for a year. Well, maybe not a whole year, but definitely a good solid 365 naps.
- My doctor asked me if I’d been getting 8 hours of sleep. I told him, “8 hours?! Doctor, I’m tired, not greedy!”
Tired Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why do bicycles fall over when they are tired? Because they’re two tired! 😂
- What did the blanket say to the bed? “I’m so tired of your sheet!” 🛏️
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆 (Get it? Cheaters… cheetahs? Okay, maybe I’m the tired one! 😅)
- What do you call a tired kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘😴
- Why was the tired bunny sad? He had too many hops to do! 😭🐰
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A bloody orange! 🍊🧛(This one’s a classic, even if it’s not about being tired!)
- My dad said I’m getting too old for toy cars. He’s driving me crazy! 🚗🤪
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed! 🧸
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!🖼️👮
- What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste! 🛁🎶
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! 🐠🤧
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!🌶️
- Where should you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school! 🍦🏫
Tired Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired doctor keep getting lost? Because they were always losing their patients!
- My friend said, “Let’s go for a run!” I told him I’m retired. I don’t run from anything anymore except maybe telemarketers.
- You know you’re old when… “Getting lucky” means you found your car in the parking lot. And remembering where you parked is a bonus!
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around.
- My grandkids are amazed I lived through the ’60s. To be fair, so am I.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. And the anteaters keep raising the stakes.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- Retirement is great, but it does have its downsides. Mainly, having to spend so much time with my spouse. Just kidding, honey! (Or am I?)
- What’s the hardest thing about learning Braille? It can be a real eye-opener.
- My wife says I’m becoming obsessed with the thermostat. But in my defense, it’s the only thing in this house I can still control.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! And to hide his scorecard from his wife.
- You know you’re getting old when… Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. And by patio, I mean the porch.
- What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? I don’t know, but I bet it has great wool socks!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! Even though he was a bit stiff in the knees.
Tired Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I’m so tired, I could sleep for a year… But then I’d miss the announcement for the next iPhone. Priorities. 😴📱
- My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. And also feel too tired to do any of it. ✨🛏️
- What did the tire say to the road? “Hey, I’m feeling deflated today. Get it? … I’ll see myself out.” 🚗💨
- I wasn’t tired until I sat down. Now I could comfortably hibernate until spring. 🛋️🐻
- Me trying to be productive after 8pm? That’s a good one! Even my phone battery has more energy. 🔋🤣
- Sleep is my superpower… …that I can only activate between the hours of 2am and 4am, apparently. 🦸♂️😴
- Just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% exhausted. The results are in: I need a nap. 🧬😴
- My therapist told me to do things that make me happy. So I took a nap. Problem solved? 🤔😴
- My level of tiredness is so extreme, it should have its own weather forecast. “Expect heavy eyelids with a 99% chance of napping.” 😴⛈️
- Today, I reached my peak physical condition: Exhausted. 💪😴
- My bed is my favorite place to be… mainly because it doesn’t judge my messy bun and questionable life choices. 🛌💁♀️
- You know that feeling when you’re too tired to even watch TV? Yeah, that’s my aesthetic. 🥱📺
- Does anyone else run out of energy before they run out of day? Asking for a friend… who is currently face down in a pillow. 😴😩
- My sleep schedule is like a mythical creature: Everyone’s heard of it, but nobody’s ever seen it in person. 🦄😴
- I’m at that age where “getting lucky” means getting a full night’s sleep. And let me tell you, the odds are not in my favor. 🍀😴
Rest Assured, These Puns Were EXHAUSTING!
We’re not tired of telling jokes, but we figure you might be tired of reading them by now! If you’re still looking for a laugh, though, don’t hit the snooze button on your humor journey just yet! Explore our website for more puns and jokes that are sure to keep you entertained.
