96+ Button Jokes: Puns So Sew Funny!
Get ready to push your funny bone with the best list of button jokes and puns this side of the sewing basket! 😂 This collection of clever quips and silly sayings is perfect for kids and adults who love a little lighthearted humor. Get ready for some seriously funny puns because we’ve got you covered, button up! 😉
Top Button Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the tailor get promoted? Because he was always pushing the right buttons!
- What’s a cannibal’s least favorite shirt? One with three belly buttons!
- Why did the security guard get fired from the remote control factory? He kept hitting the pause button instead of the panic button!
- Why did the button go to the therapist? It felt depressed…like it was always being pushed around.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth and only wears shirts? A gummy button-down!
- You know you’re old when… you remember when the biggest technological advance was an extra button on the TV remote.
- Why did the button collector love going to garage sales? He was always finding new buttons to push his collection to the next level!
- I told my tailor my pants were falling down… He said, “Those sound like button-up problems to me.”
- What do you call a fashionable mushroom? A button-up!
- My friend tried to convince me that buttons are sentient… I told him he was talking non-sense.
- What’s a programmer’s favorite type of clothing? Anything with a command button!
- Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his shirts were button-downs!
- Dating a tailor is pretty intense… They always want to know what buttons to push.
- Remember, life is like a shirt… If you’re feeling down, just button up and try again tomorrow.
Clever Button Puns – Top Picks
- Why did the tailor get an award? He knew how to push all the right buttons!
- My friend started a band called “The Buttons.” They mostly play covers.
- What’s a button’s worst nightmare? A moth with commitment issues!
- Why are buttons always so optimistic? They always see the bright side of things… the buttonhole!
- I’m starting a dating app for buttons and buttonholes. It’s called “Perfectly Matched.”
- You know, sewing buttons is just sew wrong. They deserve to be free!
- Did you hear about the button who won an award? It was a real fastener of a competition!
- Life is like a box of buttons… You lose a few, find a few, and sometimes you just gotta sew yourself back together.
- Why don’t they ever serve soup at button conventions? Because everyone keeps losing their buttons!
- I told my tailor my pants were too tight. He said, “Try buttoning them at the waist, not at the knees!”
- What do you call a button that’s always getting into trouble? A real push-over!
- I tried to pay with my credit card, but the cashier said it was declined. I guess I hit a snag.
- I put all my spare buttons in a jar. It’s my emergency button-hole fund.
- My friend told me he collects antique buttons. He said they really buttoned up his life.
Funny Button One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Button Jokes
- What did the sewing teacher say to the loose button? “Hang in there, buddy!”
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes… Guess I’ll go hug my sewing machine.
- Life is like a button. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down, and sometimes it’s buttoned up way too tight.
- I wanted to start a boy band called “The Buttons.” We were gonna be sewn together.
- My fashion sense is so bad, I could mess up a two-button suit. Wait… they make those?
- Always double-check your buttons before leaving the house, unless you want to be the star of a “wardrobe malfunction” nobody asked for.
- I accidentally swallowed a button this morning. My doctor says I’m all buttoned up now!
- Just saw a ghost fixing a shirt. Guess even spirits have button-down days.
- My love life is like a button on a shirt you really like… constantly coming undone at the worst possible moment.
- You know you’re getting old when “pushing someone’s buttons” becomes literal.
- They say clothes make the man, but have you ever seen the power of a well-placed button?
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato with a button fly!
- Button collecting: It’s not a hobby, it’s a way of life. And don’t even buttonhole me about it!
Button QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Button
- Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny and have too many buttons!
- Q: What did the button say to the tailor? A: “Sew, what’s up?”
- Q: Why did the button get promoted? A: It always knew how to hold things together.
- Q: What did the button say to the hole? A: “See ya later, gotta run!”
- Q: How do you make a button burger? A: With button mushrooms and a side of button onions!
- Q: Why did the computer mouse marry the button? A: He couldn’t resist her clicks!
- Q: What’s a belly button’s worst nightmare? A: A button fly!
- Q: Where do buttons go on vacation? A: The Shirt-ribbean!
- Q: What do you call a button that’s always getting into trouble? A: A real push-over!
- Q: Why did the lost button cross the road? A: To get to the other thread!
- Q: What’s a seamstress’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good button-down beat!
- Q: What happens when two buttons fall in love? A: They get hitched!
- Q: Why are buttons so optimistic? A: They always look on the bright side of the hole!
- Q: How did the button feel when it got fired from its job on the remote control? A: Totally de-pressed!
- Q: What’s a snail’s favorite type of clothing? A: A button-down shirt, of course! It takes them ages to get dressed!
Dad Jokes About Button: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the tailor get an award? Because he knew how to button things up right!
- What did the shirt say to the iron? “Hey, don’t push my buttons!”
- What’s a gamer’s favorite kind of button? A pause button, so they can finally go to the bathroom!
- You know, I saw a button collecting dust on the sidewalk today. Must have been a really button-down area!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs buttoning!
- My wife got mad at me for sewing the wrong buttons on her shirt. Apparently, they weren’t her “cup of tea” buttons… who knew?
- Just saw a dog wearing a tiny sweater. Turns out, those puppy buttons are adorable AND functional!
- What do you call a button that’s always tired? Exhausted.
- My son asked me, “Dad, how do you make a buttonhole?” I told him, “Very carefully, son. Very, very carefully.”
- I used to have a job making clothes for really, really small lawyers. Turns out, litigation buttons are a niche market.
- Why did the robot go to therapy? It had major button issues!
- I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles yesterday. My stomach felt a little buttoned-up. Get it? Like buttoned-up… constipated?
- My wife loves her antique button collection. She calls it her “button trove.” I just call it a box of old buttons.
- I told my wife her dress was missing a button. She said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” And she did! With a safety pin…
Button Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the button stay on the couch all day? Because it was feeling sew lazy!
- What did the tailor say to the loose button? “Hold on tight, this is going to be a wild ride!”
- My new shirt is amazing! It’s got its own built-in clap on lights!
- What do you call a button that loves to learn? A button-brainer!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Button. Button who? Button up your coat, it’s cold out there!
- Why did the button get lost in the library? It couldn’t find its bookmark!
- What’s a button’s favorite musical instrument? The tuba!
- Why did the button cross the road? To get to the other shirt!
- I lost my favorite button today. I’m really gonna miss it button-ly.
- What did the button say to the thread? You’re sew funny!
- Why are buttons always so cheerful? Because they know how to hold things together!
- What’s a button’s favorite game show? Sew You Think You Can Dance!
- My little sister thinks she’s a seamstress. But she’s only got one button sewn on, and it’s holding up her entire career!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! What does that have to do with buttons? Oh, nothing, I just wanted to button in!
Button Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they make pants for shy dinosaurs? Because they’re always too embarrassed to buy the right butt-ons!
- My tailor got arrested for tax evasion. Seems he kept everything he made “under the button.”
- A friend told me I should be a comedian, but only as a side hustle. I told him, “Hey, humor is no button issue!”
- Heard about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is good, but it has no atmosphere. You also have to button up tight – no atmosphere!
- What’s a cannibal’s least favorite part of a coat? The buttons. They always taste like people.
- I accidentally swallowed a button this morning. My doctor said it’s fine, but now I’m feeling a little sewn in.
- My wife got mad when I told her I was addicted to Twitter. She really buttoned up and said, “You’re going to choose between me and social media!”
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. It was a tough button to button down.
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! One is a fashion faux pas on one wheel, the other is buttoned up on two!
- Remember those phones with actual buttons? Those were the days when hanging up on someone required actual finger strength!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts… or the buttons to button up afterwards.
- My therapist suggested I embrace my mistakes. It’s good advice, but some of them are pretty hard to button up and wear with pride. Please enjoy responsibly! And remember, a good tailor knows when to button up and when to let loose.
Button Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a guy wearing a shirt made entirely of buttons… Talk about commitment issues!
- What did the tailor say to the impatient button? Hold on, I’ve got you covered in a sec!
- My friend told me he collects vintage buttons… I told him, “That’s a sew-sew hobby.”
- I accidentally swallowed a button whole this morning. My doctor said it’s fine, it’ll pass. I’m feeling very detached right now.
- Why don’t they play poker in the Amazon rainforest? Too many cheetahs trying to button their shirts!
- My therapist told me to confront my problems head-on. So I replaced all my zippers with buttons.
- Just got fired from my job at the button factory. Apparently, I pushed all the wrong buttons.
- Tried to make a shirt out of buttons, but I couldn’t find any matching seams. Guess I’ll just have to wing it.
- My phone is so old, it still has a home button. But hey, it gets the job done, one click at a time.
- Why did the button break up with the needle? Because he kept threading on thin ice!
- Life is like a box of buttons. Sometimes it’s sewn, sometimes it’s not.
- My computer’s keyboard is missing a button. Any suggestions? I’m at a loss for words.
- I told my friend my sewing skills are button-average. He said, “Come on, you’re clearly sew much better than that!”
Button Up! These Puns Were Sew Funny!
We button up this hilarious collection of jokes and puns, but don’t let the laughter end here! Our website is bursting with even more rib-tickling puns and side-splitting jokes. So, don’t be a button pusher, click on over and explore the fun!