97+ Finger Jokes: Puns So Good, They’ll Point You To Laughter
👋 Hey there, humor hunters! 😂 Get ready to laugh your fingers off (see what I did there?) with the ultimate list of finger jokes and puns! 🎉 We’ve hand-picked (pun intended, obviously!) the best, most clever, and kid-friendly jokes that will tickle your funny bone. So, get those pointer fingers ready to scroll because this list is going to be finger-licking good! 👉 🤣
Top Finger Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business! 🌶️
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was a great dad and son outing! 🕷️
- I got a new job at the bank. I’m counting on a promotion soon! 🏦
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕 (Get it? Like “Carrie” the parrot!)
- I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now. 🧼
- What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tuna piano, but you can’t pian-a fish! 🎹🐠
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. 🤨
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! 🚲
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ⚛️
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
- I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day… But I couldn’t find any.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄🍔
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 💀
- Where do fruits go on vacation? Fiji! 🍍🌴
Clever Finger Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to learn the alphabet in sign language today. It was all going well until I got to the letter “D.” Turns out, you’re really not supposed to finger that one.
- Did you hear about the contortionist who could bend all his fingers backwards? He could point out the obvious in any situation!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo’s finger? A pouch potato!
- My friend told me he broke a finger playing the piano. I said, “Well, at least it wasn’t the organ!”
- I went to a seafood restaurant last night and ordered the fish fingers. They tasted fishy…suspiciously fishy…
- My friend’s a mime with a fear of commitment. He’s afraid to give anyone the finger…literally.
- Why did the detective’s fingers always get invited to parties? They were known for picking up good vibes!
- What do you get when you cross a spider and a human finger? I don’t know, but it sure can wave hello from really far away!
- My grandpa lost a finger in a gardening accident. He says he misses it terribly, but on the other hand, he’s doing fine.
- Why did the nose refuse to share its tissues with the fingers? Because it said, “Get your own snot-pickers!”
- I used to have a job counting how many ridges are on a Pringle. It was fun at first, but I quickly realized it was a thankless, finger-numbing job.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost all his fingers in a bowling accident? Don’t worry, he’s got his whole life ahead of him… well, most of it, anyway.
- What do you call it when your finger is good at everything? Digit-al domination!
Funny Finger One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Finger Jokes
- I told my friend his guitar playing was getting better, but he should use his fingers more. He gave me the finger. 🎸
- I won’t name any names, but someone in this room has sticky fingers…and it’s not me, I just ate a lollipop. 🍭
- My friend told me he invented a new type of currency. I asked him what it was called. He said, “BitCoin, and gave me the finger.” 🪙
- I went to a restaurant called “The Talking Finger.” The food was good, but the service was…pointing in the wrong direction. 👈
- My phone’s touchscreen is so sensitive, it changes apps with the slightest breeze. I think it needs to get a grip! 💨
- Why did the middle finger go to the doctor? It was feeling out of touch. 🩺
- Don’t get your fingers crossed for good luck. That’s how pretzels are made.🥨
- I once got fired from a glove factory for pointing out all the flaws. I guess you could say it was a touchy subject. 🧤
- I went to a fortune teller, and she told me to be careful about the future. I said, “No problem, I already put gloves on.”🔮
- My friend told me he had a fingernail biting problem. I told him to relax, it’s not that big of a deal. 😬
- I tried to learn sign language, but I gave up. It was too hard to put my finger on the grammar.🤌
- What do you call a lazy finger? Idle Thumb! 👍
- I knew a guy who could count to 11 on one hand. Turns out he was pointing his finger at me the whole time. 🤬
- Did you hear about the detective who lost his job? He couldn’t put his finger on the evidence. 🕵️♂️
- My friend said he was going to open a finger painting gallery. I told him, “That sounds like a great hand-crafted idea!”🎨
Finger QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Finger
- Q: What do you call a finger that’s always getting into trouble? A: A pro-poke-r!
- Q: Why don’t fingers ever tell secrets in a field of corn? A: Because the corn has ears, and they might be stalk-ing!
- Q: Why did the pinky finger get sent to the principal’s office? A: It was caught pointing and making fun of the thumb’s nail-biting habit!
- Q: What’s a finger’s favorite way to travel? A: Thumb-ing a ride, of course!
- Q: What’s a finger’s favorite snack? A: Anything it can get its hands on!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a finger with a clock? A: Time to get a manicure!
- Q: Why are fingers such bad liars? A: Because they’re always getting caught red-handed!
- Q: What does a finger wear to a job interview? A: A nail polish that says, “Hire me, I’m handy!”
- Q: What do you call a finger that’s really good at knitting? A: A knit-picking pointer!
- Q: Why did the middle finger go to art school? A: It wanted to learn how to draw a crowd!
- Q: Why was the index finger always getting lost? A: It couldn’t find its way out of the palm of its hand!
- Q: Why did the ring finger break up with the pinky finger? A: It said, “I need some space!”
- Q: What’s a finger’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat…it makes them want to snap!
- Q: What do you call a lazy finger? A: A thumb-twiddler!
Dad Jokes About Finger: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to learn how to play the piano, but I could only play one key at a time. I guess I’m just not cut out for this finger-picking business!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A Pouch Potato!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies! It was a great dad-and-finger date night.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! What does it have to do with fingers? Nothing, I just wanted to point that out!
- I used to work at a nail salon, but I got canned. Turns out, painting tiny landscapes on people’s fingers wasn’t “professional.”
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! What did the gummy bear say to my finger? Nothing, it just gummed here!
- I got into a fight with a dictionary at the library. It seemed harmless… until it threw thesaurus at me and then went back for a second edition!
- Where do fleas go for vacation? Search me! They might be hiding in my fingernails. (Wriggles fingers playfully)
- I wanted to be a hand model, but I couldn’t quite get a grip on the career.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! Speaking of cheetahs, can you spot the cheetah hidden in this room? Just kidding! (Wiggles fingers playfully)
- What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick! Just wanted to give you a little hand-y tip!
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. Get it? Interest? Fingers!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. Just pointing it out!
Finger Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the finger get a job at the bank? Because it was great at counting!
- What does a finger do when it’s cold? It puts on a glove-er!
- What’s a finger’s favorite vegetable? Lady-fingers!
- Where do fingers go on vacation? Finger Lakes!
- What did the finger say to the thumb after a fight? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pointed at you!
- Why did the finger cross the road? To get to the other thumb!
- What do you get if you combine a finger and a clock? A hand-some timepiece!
- What music do fingers listen to? Anything they can snap to!
- How do you make a finger laugh? Tickle it!
- What did one finger say to the other finger who was feeling sad? Hey, don’t worry, be happy!
- What’s a finger’s least favorite snack? Chips… they always leave crumbs!
- Why don’t fingers ever tell secrets? Because they’re always getting pointed at!
- What does a little finger use to write a letter? A tiny fin-ger-print!
- Where do sick fingers go? The doc-tor!
Finger Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they play poker in the retirement home? Too many seniors raising the stakes with their hip replacements.
- I told my doctor I thought I’d broken my finger, but he said it was just a sprain. I told him, “With all due respect, I think I know a thing or two about broken bones at my age!”
- My grandkids got me a smartphone for my birthday. They think it’s hilarious watching me try to use it. “Honey, how many times do I have to swipe to get to the early bird specials?”
- I went to the jewelry store and asked to see their finest cubic zirconia. The salesperson hesitated, then whispered, “Ma’am, at your age you deserve the real thing.”
- Retirement is great. I finally have time for all the things I never got around to. Like washing this coffee stain off my finger that’s been there since 1987.
- My doctor told me I need to start taking glucosamine for my joints. I told him, “Honey, I’ve been taking glucosamine since before you were born!”
- Did you hear about the senior citizen who got arrested for shoplifting cough drops? He said he was just trying to get his daily dose of “looting with a cough drop.”
- What do you call a retired contortionist? Someone who can still put their foot in their mouth… without using their hands.
- I’ve reached that age where “getting lucky” means finding my car in the parking lot. And also remembering what I was going to the store for in the first place.
- My grandson asked me what it was like to live through so many decades. I told him, “It’s all a blur, kid. Now get off my lawn.”
- Why are grandmas so good at knitting? Years of practice with those knitting needles and an uncanny ability to point out your flaws.
- My arthritis is acting up again. But on the plus side, I finally have an excuse for my terrible handwriting.
- I finally figured out what “aging gracefully” means. It’s all about accepting the fact that you can’t remember where you put your glasses… again.
- They say you can tell a lot about a person by their hands. Apparently, mine say “I need a nap and a glass of prune juice.”
Finger Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I told my friend his keyboard must be broken, only one finger seemed to be working. He said, “Nah, I’m just really hitting it off with this chatroom girl.” (Plays on the phrase “hitting it off”)
- What does a fortune teller use to browse the internet? A crystal ball-mouse and a magic finger. (Wordplay on “mouse” and “finger” as computer input)
- My phone’s autocorrect is out of control. This morning, it changed “coffee” to “finger food” five times. Guess breakfast is sorted! (Absurdist humor, ties “finger” to a meal)
- Started a new job at a rubber band factory. I’m really getting into the swing of things, but I think I pulled a finger on my first day. (Double meaning, literal injury vs. prank)
- A thief broke into my house and stole my soap, shampoo, and towels. I told the police I think they have me fingered as a suspect. (Wordplay on “fingerprints” and wrongly accused)
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato that never lifts a finger! (Combines animal pun with “doesn’t lift a finger” idiom)
- Why shouldn’t you ever borrow money from a leprechaun? They’ll be after your lucky charms… and your ring finger! (Unexpected twist, connects to engagement rings and luck)
- Dating a vampire is so confusing. When I asked for her hand in marriage, she got all excited about which finger to bite first. (Dark humor, plays on vampire tropes)
- Tried to learn sign language but it’s really hard on the eyes. I think I’m just going to stick to using my fingers to count how many times I mess up. (Self-deprecating, pokes fun at learning difficulty)
- What do you get when you cross a watch with a human body part? Time on your hands… literally! (Wordplay links “hands” and “time” literally)
- My phone’s touchscreen is so sensitive, it responds to my emotions. Every time I get angry, I accidentally order a giant plate of chicken fingers! (Absurd situation, connects “fingers” to food craving)
That’s a Wrap! Finger-Lickin’ Puns to the End.
We’re crossing our fingers that you had a finger-lickin’ good time with these puns and jokes! If you’re still feeling thumb-ody, don’t point the finger, just head over to our website for even more hilarious puns and jokes. We promise it’ll be worth the click!
