140+ Head Jokes & Puns: A-Head of the Game!
👋 Greetings, fellow humor enthusiasts! 😂 Get ready to lose your heads (not literally, of course 😜) because we’ve got a list of head puns and jokes that are positively head-spinningly funny! This collection of the best head-scratchers, riddles, and one-liners is sure to tickle your funny bone, whether you’re a kid or a kid at heart. So put on your thinking caps (or don’t, we won’t judge 😉), and get ready for some seriously clever and hilarious jokes about all things “head!” 😄
Top ‘Head Jokes’ – Best Picks
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta… especially if it tries to get ahead of the real pasta!
What’s the most important thing to have in a brain surgery? A head for details!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one… that’s how he kept a level head!
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat… and plenty of headbanging!
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs… and they’ve got a one-track mind for winning!
What do you call a group of bald guys running backwards? A receding hairline!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… Then I turned myself around… and got ahead of the problem!
My friend said he wanted to be cremated, head first. He said it was his last wish to go out with a bang… what a head-scratcher!
What do you call it when a group of insects takes over the government? A headless horseman-ocracy!
What did the left brain say to the right brain when they couldn’t agree? “Let’s just agree to disagree… two heads are better than one, even if they argue!”
I told my friend all my problems. He said, “Hold your horses, I’ve got enough problems of my own.” I guess two heads are better than one… unless they’re both overloaded!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He/She heard they were having a head count!
What did the hat say to the head? You go ahead, I’ll follow!
You know what they say… Two heads are better than one! Unless you’re a two-headed monster, then it’s probably a 50/50 split on who is really in charge.
Clever ‘Head Puns’ – Best Picks
I wanted to start a band called “Missing Heads”… but I couldn’t find any backing.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I used to be addicted to headbanging… but then I turned my life around 360 degrees.
What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
My friend said, “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.” I said, “That sounds impossible! Can you even hold it down?”
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
I went to a fight the other night, and a head of lettuce showed up. It was a real salad tossing.
What do you call it when a group of people are obsessed with King Tut’s headwear? A pharaoh-ble fashion trend.
I met the head of an explosives company today. I have to say, he really blew me away!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
My friend keeps saying “Guinea pig” wrong. I told him, “Take it one syllable at a time!”
I went to a seafood restaurant and ordered the head of the fish. The waiter said, “Sorry sir, we only serve intelli-gents.”
I thought I saw a sign that said “watch for head lice”. Turns out it just said “watch for children.” Close call!
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, “Whack – Damn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Damn! – Whack”
How do you make a Venetian blind jealous? Pierce its skin!
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat and head-banging potential.
My friend’s business, “Heads Up! Hairpieces for Pets,” really took off. I guess he found his niche market.
A man walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
What’s the difference between a train and a teacher? A teacher says “Spit that gum out right now!” and a train says “Chew chew!”
Funny ‘Head One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Head Jokes
I told my friend all my problems, hoping for advice. He just shook his head and said, “Man, you’ve got a lot going on up there.”
I wanted to try out for the head-banging competition, but I heard it was a real headache.
My friend got a job at the hat factory. He said it really goes to his head.
I used to be addicted to shampoo, but I’m finally getting a head of it.
I tried to make a sculpture of a head of lettuce, but it kept falling apart. I guess you could say it was a little headstrong.
I went to a seminar on time management, but it was a total waste of time. I should have used my head and stayed home.
My friend is so forgetful, he had to write “take shower” on his forehead just to remember.
You know, money talks… but all mine ever says is “goodbye.” Guess it’s time to use my head and start saving.
I thought I could make a living as a psychic, but I guess I just wasn’t head of the curve.
My friend told me he could read my mind, so I thought really hard about nothing. He looked confused and said, “Are you sure you have anything in there?”
I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children” and thought, “That sounds like a weird brand of wristwatch.” I really need to get my head checked.
I’m starting a band called “The Headaches.” We’re really gonna rock your world… or at least make it pound a little.
I wanted to be a historian, but I couldn’t get past all the dates. They really messed with my head.
My friend tried to make a scarecrow that looked like me. He nailed it… right through the head.
I went to a phrenologist. He felt my head and said, “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”
I told my friend I was feeling under the weather. He said, “Well, at least it’s not raining on your head.” I guess that’s one way to look at it.
Head QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Head
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field… and exceptionally level-headed!
Q: What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large… with his head in the game!
Q: What did the mom say to her son with a messy head of hair? A: “If you don’t brush your hair, you’ll end up looking like a chia pet… with a head full of regrets!”
Q: What’s the most important thing to have when you’re building a house made of lettuce? A: A good head of cabbage… for a strong foundation, of course!
Q: What did one plate say to the other plate who was feeling down? A: “Chin up! You’re looking a little dish-headed today.”
Q: Why did the student get sent to the principal’s office on picture day? A: He kept making silly faces and the photographer couldn’t get a head shot!
Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? A: Pennsylvania… to visit their graphite mines and clear their heads!
Q: What did the ocean say to the beach? A: Nothing, it just waved… probably because it couldn’t think straight with all that sand in its head!
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole-in-one… and lost his head from excitement!
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: It had a virus and was feeling a little bit under the weather… and behind the head!
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over? A: Because it was twoTIRED… and didn’t have a head to keep it upright!
Q: What do you call a group of mushrooms who start a band? A: A fungi business… with a head for music and spores galore!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato… with its head always in the clouds (or its mom’s pouch)!
Q: Why was the math book sad? A: It had too many problems… and not enough headspace to solve them all!
Q: What do you call a bear without any teeth? A: A gummy bear… with a soft head and a sweet disposition!
Q: Why did the clock get sent to the principal’s office? A: It kept getting ahead of itself… and couldn’t tell time properly!
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef… with a head for trouble and a taste for greener pastures!
Q: What did the left brain say to the right brain? A: “Let’s just agree to disagree… before we both lose our heads over this!”
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs… and not enough level-headed players around!
Dad Jokes About Head: Pun-Filled Quips
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…and he definitely used his head!
I used to be afraid of hurdles… But I got a head of myself.
My friend said he wanted to be a barber, but gave it up. Seems it was too much pressure working around the head of the class.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. You could say the tide had turned…and went straight over your head!
Why is being a hairdresser so expensive? Because they know how to charge per head.
I thought my brain had all the answers… Turns out it was just my head-quarters.
You know what they say about big heads? Big hats. Okay, just kidding, but you have to think big to appreciate a good pun!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? An R2-Detour. Sometimes you just gotta shake your head at those droids.
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey… But then I turned myself around. That’s what it’s all about! Don’t lose your head over it.
I met an archaeologist who had a head for dates… Turns out, they were all B.C.!
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk! Keep your head up, spring will be here before you know it.
Why is it so hard to trust a barber with your secrets? Because they’re always telling everyone else’s! They just can’t keep it in…or on your head for that matter.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired! Get it? Two tired? I’ll admit, that one’s a little head-scratcher.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! Don’t worry, it’s all water under the bridge… or over your head if you don’t get it!
Head Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… and had a great head on his shoulders!
What do you call a line of rabbits walking slowly backwards? A receding hare-line!
What did the mom say to her son with messy hair? “Go brush your head, it looks like a bird’s nest!”
Why didn’t the bicycle smile? He was twoTIRED!
Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole-in-one… or lose their head from excitement!
What’s as big as your head but weighs nothing? Your shadow!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
What has no body and a head but can’t think? A nail!
What did the left ear say to the right ear? I didn’t catch that, but between us, something smells funny!
What did the hat say to the head? You stay here, I’m going on ahead!
Why don’t they play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Her students were too bright!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
Head Jokes and Puns for Adults
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…and nobody else wanted his head.
My friend says I’m too nosy. They told me to “Get a life!” I told them, “Mind your own business, I’ve got enough heads to deal with.”
A therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I’m still trying to figure out how to give my ex a headlock.
Dating a contortionist is so confusing. I never know which head is thinking what.
I tried to explain to my friend what a “figure of speech” was. He just gave me a blank stare and said, “Sounds like a personal problem.” I guess it just went over his head.
My friend got a job at a hair replacement clinic. He loves it, but he says it can be a real head-scratcher at times.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. You know, like a therapist telling you to get your head checked.
They say love is blind… and marriage is the eye-opener. Just wait until the in-laws move in, then you’ll really lose your head.
I used to be addicted to soap operas… but then I turned myself around. Now I’m just heading for a breakdown.
Tried meditating today. Everything was going well until I started thinking about everything. Now my head hurts.
I asked my friend, a hairdresser, for a “Victoria Beckham” haircut. They just shook their head and said, “I can’t make your hair disappear completely.”
Went to a fight the other day and a hockey game broke out. It was weird, but at least nobody lost their head…literally.
Why is it so hard for a kleptomaniac to accept their own mortality? They keep thinking they’ll live to steal another day, but deep down they know they’re just kidding themselves…right in the head.
I used to think my head was too big for my body… then I realized it was my massive intellect. Still, I have to duck a lot in doorways.
I told my therapist about my obsession with mannequins. He said, “Let’s start at the beginning. What’s going on in your head?” I said, “Nothing, they’re empty inside!”
My friend told me I need to “get my head out of the clouds.” I told him, “But it’s so nice and peaceful up here, away from all the negativity.”
Why don’t they have headstones in cemeteries for people with multiple personality disorder? Because they couldn’t decide which name to put on it!
Head Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
Just saw a sign that said “Head Shop Ahead.” Guess I’ll go in and see what’s up.
What do you call a psychic dwarf who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
My friend tried to explain to me how Bluetooth headphones work. Went right over my head.
I thought I saw a shampoo commercial narrated by a head of lettuce, but it was just my romaine imagining things.
What’s the most important competition in history? Head-to-head.
My friend said, “I lost my job at the bank on my first day.” I replied, “What happened, did you lose your head?” He said, “No, I just forgot to wear one.”
I should have been a hairdresser. I’ve always been great at making waves and keeping my head above water.
Went to a restaurant that serves food on tiny plates. Guess you could say they cater to a smaller headcount.
My friend with no body and just a head got hired as a bouncer. Turns out, he was real good at checking IDs.
What do you call it when a group of bald guys form a band? A receding hairline.
My friend keeps hitting his head on things, claiming it helps him think better. Personally, I think he’s already hit rock bottom.
Don’t worry about that mannequin, it’s just a little head of itself.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A the-saurus.
Started a band called “Missing Heads.” We’re always looking for a new lead singer.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, even without a head on his shoulders!
I told my barber, “Give me the Caesar.” He looked confused and asked, “Head over heels?”
Just had a thought. It was about time, there was starting to be a lot of empty space up there.
Always remember to use your head. It’s the only one you’ve got, unless you’re a hydra, then use them all!
Head-ing Out? Don’t Lose Yours! 🤪
We’ve reached the head of our punny journey, but don’t lose your head! There are plenty more hilarious puns and jokes waiting to be discovered on our website. So, head on over and keep the laughter flowing!
