109+ Sign Jokes & Puns: You Must Read The Signs!
👋 Hey there, humor hunters! 🎉 Get ready to laugh your signs off because we’ve got a list of the best sign puns and jokes this side of the “stop” sign. 😂 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, this collection of clever wordplay is sure to tickle your funny bone. 🦴 So buckle up and get ready for a hilarious ride because these puns are sure to “sign” your name to a good time! 😉
Top Sign Jokes – Best Picks
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Sign: Trust Issues?)
I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” How can one watch children on a sign? (Sign: Safety First!)
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. (Sign: Beach Vibes)
I just got fired from my job at the bank. Apparently, my position was incompatible with my side hustle as a mime. (Sign: Now Hiring)
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere. (Sign: Out of this World Dining)
My friend keeps saying “Guess what?” then doesn’t give me time to answer. I think he’s suffering from assumptive-question disorder. (Sign: Free Advice)
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! (Sign: Golf Course Ahead)
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. (Sign: Public Restrooms)
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (Sign: Safari Adventures)
To the person who stole my glasses… I will find you. I have contacts. (Sign: Lost and Found)
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! (Sign: Australian Wildlife Park)
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. (Sign: This Way or That Way?)
Clever Sign Puns – Best Picks
Outside a fortune teller’s shop: “See the future? That’s a sign you need glasses.”
On a scarecrow in a pumpkin patch: “I tried to warn the crows… but they couldn’t read my sign language.”
Above a therapist’s couch: “Tell me your problems. Or, you know, just sign here.”
At a “Swim at Your Own Risk” beach: “No lifeguard on duty. We’re putting the ‘sign’ in ‘designing your own rescue mission.'”
In a coffee shop frequented by mimes: “Please remain silent. Our barista communicates in sign language… really well.”
On a mime’s tip jar: “Your applause is appreciated, but tips are a sign of true understanding.”
At a library book sale: “All books $1! That’s a sign you should build a reading fort.”
On a dating app for introverts: “Swipe right if you think awkward silence is a sign of true compatibility.”
At a yoga studio: “Namaste. And if you can’t reach your toes, that’s a sign you’re in the right place.”
Outside a haunted house: “Screaming is encouraged. Fainting, however, requires you to sign a waiver.”
Above a lost and found box: “Is this yours? Because not claiming it is a sign of a minimalist lifestyle… we think.”
On a baby’s onesie: “I’m not sure what these hand gestures mean, but I think it’s a sign for ‘more milk’.”
On a park bench after a fresh snowfall: “Reserved for… squints at freshly fallen snow … Well, whoever’s name is written here. That’s the sign, right?”
Funny Sign One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Sign Jokes
Saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” How do they know what I’m looking for?
I tried to explain to my deaf friend what a “sign” is… it went right over his head.
Just saw a sign that said “Slow Children at Play.” Should someone tell them they can play faster?
A psychic told me to follow the signs… so I took down all my “No Soliciting” posters.
My relationship with the letter “S” is very complicated. It’s been a real sign of the times.
I just bought a self-signing autographed picture of a celebrity. What a sign of the times!
My dog learned sign language today. He barked in braille.
What’s the most common sign seen in chemistry labs? “Helium Doesn’t React.”
My friend said he needed a sign to quit his job. I told him to wait and see if he gets fired first.
Never judge a book by its movie adaptation. It’s a sign of the times that they rarely get it right.
I saw a sign that said “Caution: Steep Curves Ahead.” Sounds like someone needs to call a geometry teacher.
If you see a sign that says “Free Puppies,” it’s probably a sign you shouldn’t trust everything you read.
Sign QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Sign
Q: What did the psychic say to the blank sign? A: “I see big things in your future.”
Q: What did the frustrated store owner tell the broken “Open” sign? A: “You’re really not sending the right message!”
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field… and he could read all the crop signs.
Q: Have you heard about the psychic detective? A: He’s great at his job. He can even read the warning signs before the crime!
Q: What do you call a dog that can understand traffic signs? A: A paw-lert driver!
Q: Why did the rebel cell refuse to make a “Join Us” sign? A: They didn’t believe in forced signage.
Q: What did the “Road Closed” sign say to the detour sign? A: “Looks like it’s all up to you now.”
Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems and no signs of solutions.
Q: What did the shy scarecrow say when asked about his award? A: “Aw, shucks, it was just a sign of the times.”
Q: How did the “Wet Floor” sign get to the other side of the hallway? A: Someone picked it up and carried it… hopefully not someone who just ignored the “Wet Floor” sign.
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of street sign? A: A dead end!
Q: What happened to the restaurant with the misspelled “Open” sign? A: Nobody could find it – it’s a real sign of the times if you can’t even spell “open” correctly.
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything, even the warning signs!
Dad Jokes About Sign: Pun-Filled Quips
I tried to learn the alphabet in sign language today. It was quite a handful.
Just saw a sign that said “Watch for Animals.” What a weird place to advertise a zoo!
I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” Looks like they’re aware of the problem, at least.
A mime got arrested. They say he was resisting a-rest…and refusing to sign anything.
I just got fired from my job at the bank. Apparently, my position was “un-loan-ly”. I should have seen the signs.
If you’re ever lost in the woods, just look for the trees. They have all the branches! (Plays on “branches” as tree limbs and directions)
I wanted to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I could have watch dogs. (Plays on “watch” as timepieces and guarding)
A magician was walking down the street… then he turned into a store. (Plays on the unexpected turn of events)
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (Plays on “cheetahs” sounding like “cheaters”)
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. (Plays on the expression “raised eyebrows”)
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. (Plays on the dual meaning of “clean”)
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! (Plays on “guts” as courage and internal organs)
Sign Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the letter “S” get in trouble at school? Because it was always making signs!
Where do crayons go to sign important papers? The cray-on-ing table!
What did the math book say to the sleepy student? “Those yawning signs mean you need to pay attention!”
I saw a sign that said “Watch for Animals.” I looked everywhere, but couldn’t find a single wristwatch!
What did the ocean say to the surfer holding a pen? “Hey dude, catch a sign!”
Why did the dog get in trouble for reading the sign out loud? It barked the wrong directions!
I saw a sign that said “Slow Down, Children Crossing.” I thought, “Good for them, finally learning to read!”
What do you get when you teach a cat to write his name? A paw-tograph sign!
What’s a bee’s favorite part of working at the flower shop? Making the “buzz” sign for the window!
Why was the little tree sad about his art project? He couldn’t get the hang of sign painting.
How did the snowman become famous in Hollywood? He signed a snow-to-graph!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through their scary signs!
Where do birds sign important documents? The dotted lion!
What did the sign say outside the school of fish? “Now enrolling new guppies for sign language class!”
Sign Jokes and Puns for Elders
My doctor said I have the early signs of dementia and amnesia. I can’t remember what the third one was. And I don’t care.
I saw a sign outside a retirement home that said “Don’t worry, be happy.” I almost drove in to ask what they knew about my 401k.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. At least that’s what my astrologer told me. He’s also a mime, so you can imagine how hard it was to get my horoscope.
My grandkids got me a watch for my birthday. It came with a lovely sign language dictionary. Apparently, “ticking loudly” isn’t a universally understood expression of love.
Just saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” Made me wonder, how fast are those kids going, anyway?
Doctor told me I need to reduce my stress levels. Good thing I took up interpretive dance. Those anxiety attacks are really expressive now.
My wife says I’m getting too old to act like a teenager. I said, “Yeah, well, you’re not exactly a spring chicken yourself, sweetheart.” Then I hid the car keys before she could ground me.
I bought a new hearing aid, but it’s just not the same. Turns out, it’s not my hearing – everyone really is mumbling these days!
My retirement plan is simple: Live off my savings, travel the world, and try to remember what I did with the rest of my savings.
The first sign of Alzheimer’s is losing your memory. The second sign is… Wait, what was I talking about?
I thought “getting older” meant getting wiser. Now I realize it just means I have more experience at making the same mistakes.
Just saw a sign that said “Free Puppies.” Turns out, it was just a typo. They’re actually three dollars. Still a pretty good deal though, right?
Sign Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Just saw a sign that said “Watch for Animals.” Made me realize how bad I am at predicting their futures.
I got fired from my job at the bank today. Apparently, my position was “held up” by a lack of “sign”-ificant performance.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to a concert. It’s probably a sign I should have gotten it therapy first.
I asked my deaf friend for directions to the library. He said he didn’t know sign language yet.
What do you call a zodiac sign that’s always getting into trouble? A “Can’t-cer”.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (This one’s a classic for a reason).
I’m starting a new job at a clock factory next week. I guess it’s a sign of the times.
Went to a psychic today. She said she saw dollar signs in my future. Turns out it was just the price tag on her services.
My dog is so spoiled, he has his own personal “Do Not Disturb” sign. It’s just a picture of his angry face.
Just saw a sign at a restaurant that said “Free Wi-Fi.” I guess that means the food’s not that good.
Being fluent in sign language is a very handy skill. Get it? Handy?
I tried to explain to my dog that barking at the mailman wouldn’t make him go away faster. But he just gave me this look, like, “You clearly don’t understand the power of signage.”
That’s Our Cue To Sign Off! 😜 👋
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