90+ Table Jokes & Puns: You Can’t Top These!
Hey there, humor enthusiasts! 😂 Get ready to feast your funny bone on the best list of table jokes and puns! 🎉 We’ve got a whole spread of clever wordplay and knee-slapping humor for kids and adults alike. So pull up a chair, get comfy, and prepare for some serious laughter! 🤣 This collection of table puns is sure to leave you grinning from ear to ear. Let’s get this party started! 🥳
Top Table Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the restaurant on the moon go out of business? Because there was no atmosphere… and the tables kept floating away!
- You know you’ve been designing furniture too long when… you start brainstorming names like “Table McTableface.”
- I tried to explain to my friend what “supporting local businesses” means, but it went right over his head. He must have been sitting at the IKEA table again.
- What’s the most dangerous game to play at a restaurant? Russian Roulette-lette. It involves spinning the lazy Susan really fast and grabbing whatever dish lands in front of you!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high. She seemed surprised.
- My friend said his coffee table was really expensive because it’s vintage. I said, “Yeah, mine too. It’s been vintage since about 2008.”
- What do you call a table that’s always getting into trouble? A trouble-table!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- My family reunion is always a little awkward. Half of us are sitting at the kids’ table, and the other half are under it!
- I saw a sign at a furniture store that said, “Tables on sale: 50% off!” So I asked, “What about the other half?” The salesperson just looked confused.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies and dinner. It was a really nice spider, to be honest.
- Why are math books always so stressed? Because they have so many problems to work out! (And they always end up on the short end of the table.)
- My friend said his furniture comes from a very exclusive line. Turns out it was the checkout line at IKEA on a Saturday.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! (Don’t worry, he can still sit at the table with us.)
Clever Table Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the restaurant go out of business? They couldn’t budget properly. Their expenses were always table stakes! 💰
- I saw a table that was all alone. I felt bad for it, must have been lonely being single and all. What a table for one! 😔
- Just bought a new table made entirely of coffee beans. It’s perfect for discussions, but I have a feeling it’ll be very easily broken! ☕
- Did you hear about the restaurant critic who was addicted to work? He folded under the pressure of writing so many table reviews! ✍️
- I tried to make a table from scratch. It was a very moving experience. 😢
- What do you call a table that’s been cut in half? A semi-circle! 📐
- I saw a table wearing a tuxedo today. It looked very dapper, like it was ready for a formal table setting! 🤵♂️
- My friend told me his therapist was like a table. I asked why, and he said, “Because I can lie on him!” 🤥
- Why did the table get sent to the principal’s office? Because it kept getting into rows! 😠
- What’s the strongest type of table? A multiplication table! 💪
- Never trust atoms, they make up everything, even the table! ⚛️ 🤯
- I went to a restaurant that served everything on miniature tables. It was adorable, they said it was “table” d’hôte! 🤏
- A table walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” 🤫
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of table? A séance table! 👻
Funny Table One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Table Jokes
- I told my wife I’d make her a table out of recycled Amazon boxes. She said, “Sounds like a Prime idea!”
- Did you hear about the table that won an argument with a chair? It was able to bring some very strong points.
- What do you call a table that’s always getting into trouble? A coffee table bookie.
- Always be kind to your table – remember, it’s got legs but can’t walk away from a bad conversation.
- What does a table and a gossipy neighbor have in common? They both like to spread things.
- I tried to explain to my table that it was four legs, not “four leggers.” It didn’t get it…must be a coffee table.
- I once met a talking table at a magic show. It turned out to be just a side table.
- My friend is so disorganized, his idea of cleaning his apartment is just rearranging the clutter on his table.
- You know you’ve been working from home too long when the most exciting part of your day is the dining table clearing its throat.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of table? A séance table.
- I wanted to open a restaurant entirely dedicated to serving food on different surfaces. I figured I’d call it “Table Manners.”
- My friend told me he was going to build a table from scratch. I told him, “That’s fantastic!”
- I spilled coffee on my antique table this morning. It’s okay though, it’s seasoned now.
Table QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Table
- Q: Why did the restaurant lower its prices? A: Because they were having a table sale!
- Q: What’s the most dangerous kind of table? A: A multiplication table – you can really get hurt by those high numbers!
- Q: Why did the table win an award? A: For its outstanding support!
- Q: Why was the table always invited to parties? A: It knew how to bring everyone together!
- Q: How do you make a table laugh? A: Tickle its funny bone (or leg!).
- Q: What did the table say to the chair? A: “Dinner’s on me, but you have to bring your own cushion!”
- Q: Why did the table get a job as a detective? A: It was great at solving case(s)!
- Q: What’s a table’s favorite sport? A: Table tennis, of course!
- Q: Why did the table go to the doctor? A: It had a bad case of the wobbles!
- Q: What’s a table’s favorite type of music? A: Anything they can tap their feet to!
- Q: What do you call a table that’s always getting into trouble? A: A coffee table bookie!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a table and a dog? A: A table that eats all your homework and then begs for scraps!
- Q: Why don’t tables ever tell secrets? A: They have too many legs to keep them in!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato… who just sits around the table all day!
Dad Jokes About Table: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the restaurant on the mountain go out of business? There was no table land.
- You think this table is sturdy? I think it’s impecc-able!
- What did the carpenter name his twin tables? Tabitha and Tabitha.
- Heard about the psychic dwarf who escaped from jail? They say he’s still at large, and on the table.
- What’s the most important subject in culinary school? Table manners!
- I tried to make a table out of jelly… It wouldn’t gel right.
- This coffee table is covered in crumbs! Looks like someone needs to learn some table etiquette.
- Why are round tables so friendly? Because they have no sharp corners to their personality.
- What do you call a table with a PhD? A table of contents!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… So I took it to the casino. It’s at the blackjack table right now.
- Where do math teachers eat lunch? On multiplication tables!
- What kind of music do they play in fancy restaurants? Table music!
- Did you hear about the table that was always in trouble? It had really bad legs to stand on.
- I told my wife I built our new table from scratch… She didn’t believe me until I showed her the itchy welts all over!
Table Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the baby table laugh? Because it had a little chuckle!
- What’s brown and sticky? A table stuck in chocolate!
- What happens when you tell a table a secret? It keeps it under its surface!
- Why did the table get sent to the principal’s office? It kept getting into rows!
- How do you make a table laugh? Tickle its funny bone-legs!
- My dad is so strong, he can lift a table with one hand! I know, he’s got really strong fingernails!
- Why did the table get a job at the library? It was really good at holding books!
- What does a table use to surf the internet? A table-t!
- Where do tables go when they’re tired? To the resting table area!
- Why are tables so good at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve… or leg!
- Me: I’m thinking of getting a new table. Friend: Really? Table me about it later!
- What did the table say to the chair? “Dinner’s ready, have a seat!”
- Knock knock? Who’s there? Table. Table who? Table eat now, I’m starving!
- Why did the math book get sad? Because it had so many tables to solve!
- What do you call a table that’s always getting into trouble? A trouble-table!
Table Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elderly couple go to the furniture store? > To turn the tables on their boring living room! They were tired of the same old furniture and ready for a change!
- You know you’re getting old when… > …dinner and a movie is now taking your pills and nodding off in front of the TV. But hey, at least the table is always set for one!
- I told my wife she was spending too much time on Pinterest looking at antique tables. > She said, “Table this discussion for later!” I guess it wasn’t the time or the place.
- What’s the difference between a cranky old man and a wobbly table? > You can actually fix a wobbly table! Though, some might argue duct tape works on both.
- My retirement plan is just like my coffee table… > Solid wood, with a few noticeable scratches! But hey, it’s held together this long, right?
- I used to be indecisive. Now… > …I’m not really sure. Pass the salt, this soup could use something. Wait, where was I?
- What do you call a group of senior citizens who are obsessed with woodworking? > A table for one club! They prefer their own company… and saws.
- My grandkids gave me a Fitbit for my birthday. I told them… > “I already know how many tables I go around in a day!” Spoiler: It’s a lot.
- My doctor said I need to incorporate more iron into my diet. > So now I eat my spinach at the iron table! It’s doctor’s orders, you know.
- What’s the most difficult part about being a senior citizen ventriloquist? > Finding a wooden dummy that doesn’t have more wrinkles than you! And getting it to stay quiet during Matlock.
- What’s round, brown, and always tells the truth? > A tree! …What did you think I was going to say? A table? Get your head out of the dining room!
- You know you’re getting old when “getting lucky” means… > …finding your glasses on the table on the first try! Who needs Vegas when you have a good pair of reading glasses?
- Why did the old man fall in love with the dining table? > Because it was the only thing that could handle all his legs! He always did have a soft spot for sturdy furniture.
- A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. > The librarian leans close and whispers, “They’re right there, behind the table!” They’ve been expecting him… always watching.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? > Too many cheetahs! And because finding a table big enough for a giraffe is just too much hassle.
Table Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got kicked out of Ikea for trying to start a fight club… They said I had to table my aggression.
- I saw a table tennis match with telekinetic players… It was an intense match, but honestly, the lack of table presence was disappointing.
- What’s the fastest way to make a table laugh? Cut its legs off – it’ll crack up! 💀
- I tried to explain to my table that it was being too dramatic… It just wouldn’t listen. I think it’s going through a phase.
- You know, some people eat off plates, others off trays… I just like to live on the edge… of my table. 😎
- My friend said his new table was unstable… Turns out it was just lying.
- I saw a table at the bar looking super nervous. I went over and asked, “Hey, leg’s going?”
- Why did the restaurant hire a bouncer? To deal with all the rowdy tables.
- My grandma is so old-fashioned, she still uses a turn-table… To play music? No, to turn her food around so it gets cold evenly. 👵
- Tried to have a serious conversation with my coffee table… It went as well as you’d expect. Woodn’t budge on any of the issues. 🪵
- I’m building a table out of old floppy disks… I call it my “data table”. 💽
- What does a table use to write? A table-t! ✍️
- My therapist told me to confront my problems head-on… So I walked straight into a table. Not sure what I achieved, but my head definitely hurts. 🤦♂️
- My friend’s starting a furniture-themed rock band called “Table & Chairs”… I’m pretty sure they’ll be big… like, coffee table-sized big. 🤘
- Always be kind to your furniture, you never know when you’ll need them… Especially your table – it always supports you when you’ve got nothing else to lean on. 🫂
Table the Jokes! We’re all out of thyme.
Well, we’ve reached the end of our time together, but hopefully, these table jokes haven’t left you feeling board! If you’re still hungry for more side-splitting puns and knee-slapping jokes, don’t just sit there! Pull up a chair to our website and feast your eyes on our punny collection. You’re sure to find something that tickles your funny bone.
