145+ Ear-resistibly Funny Jokes & Puns About Hearing
Get ready to lend an ear (or two👂) to the best list of ear puns and jokes this side of the auditory canal! 😂 We’ve got a hearing-ly hilarious collection of puns and jokes about ears, perfect for kids and adults alike. From clever wordplay to puns that’ll really make you chuckle, we promise to tickle your funny bone and leave you feeling positive-ear-ly 😄 Get ready for some a-muze-ing humor! 🎤🥁
Top ‘Ear Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why was the ear of corn so embarrassed? Because it got shucked in public! 🌽😳
- What’s the most groundbreaking invention? The ear drum, of course! 🥁💥
- I went to a seafood restaurant and ordered some fish and earplugs. They asked, “Earplugs?” I said, “Yeah, I heard the food here was sound. ” 🎧🐟
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B! 🐻 (Get it? B-ear!)
- My friend told me he could talk to his plants using telepathy. I said, “What are you, nuts?” He replied, “No, I talk to the ears of corn!” 🌽🧠
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… and he always lent an ear! 🌾🏆👂
- Why did the music student fail their exam? They couldn’t tell the difference between a C sharp and an earlobe! 🎶👂
- I saw an ear doctor today, and he said, “I can’t hear you.” I said, “I know, you’re the one with the problem!” 👨⚕️👂
- What do you call an ear of corn that joins the army? Kernel Sanders! 🌽🪖
- Why did the left ear get fired from the head? Because it wasn’t right! 👂🤣
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now I’m just listening to my favorite podcast on repeat. You could say I’m all ears! 👂🔄
- What’s the difference between an ear of corn and a concert? One you husk, the other you shush! 🌽🤫🎶
- Why do owls have such good hearing? Because they have really wise ears! 🦉🧠
- Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in an accident? He’s all right now! … Almost. He’s still missing an ear. 😅👂
- What do you call a musician with problems hearing? Anything you want, they can’t hear you! 🎶🦻
- My friend said, “Hey, something’s wrong with my ears, I can’t see anything!” I said, “I think you mean your eyes!” He replied, “Oh, right, it feels like I haven’t cleaned them in years!” 🤦♂️👂👀
- What do you get when you cross a potato and an ear of corn? A spud you have to listen very carefully to! 🥔🌽
Clever ‘Ear Puns’ – Best Picks
- I tried to explain to my friend why he couldn’t trust the whispers coming from the seashells. “Those aren’t real ocean secrets,” I said. “They’re just hear-say.”
- What do you call a group of rabbits who love listening to music together? A hare-mony.
- Why did the corn stalk get its ears pierced? It wanted to be a maize-ing listener.
- The audiologist told me I had perfect hearing. I couldn’t believe my ears!
- I saw a sign that said “Ear Repair Shop.” I thought, “Well, that’s ear-ie.”
- What do you call a bear with no teeth and terrible hearing? A gummy bear that can’t bear to listen.
- The ear doctor was running late for work. He knew he was in for a lobe-sided day.
- Why was the microphone always tired? It was hear all day, every day.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t handle the yeast infections I got from constantly listening to dough rise. Turned out, it wasn’t good for my ears either.
- My friend claimed he could hear colors. I told him that sounded like a hue-ge exaggeration.
- I went to a seminar on improving your hearing. It was ear-opening!
- What do you call a cow with no legs and perfect hearing? Ground beef that’s an earwitness.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…and had a great ear for crows.
- My dog is a terrible listener. He’s got selective hearing…and it’s always set to “ignore.”
- What do you get when you combine a medieval weapon and an ear of corn? A mace of corn that really knows how to ear its keep.
- I saw a sign for a psychic who specialized in reading ears. It said, “Get your lobes read hear.”
- Why are ears always in style? Because they’re timeless…and they always come in pairs!
Funny ‘Ear One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Ear Jokes
- I went to a seafood restaurant and ordered an ear of corn. The waiter said, “Sorry sir, we only serve food we can hear.”
- My friend said he wanted to write a song about ears. I told him I’d be all ears.
- I tried to explain to my ear doctor that I wasn’t ignoring him, I just have selective hearing. He wasn’t listening.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth and no ears? A gummy bear.
- I asked my audiologist what the least popular type of music is. He said, “It’s a tie between heavy metal and anything played too loud.”
- My friend keeps talking about his collection of antique ears. Sounds kind of earie to me.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…and he was all ears for the acceptance speech.
- What’s the difference between an ear of corn and a concert? One you husk and the other you shush.
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for deer.” I thought, “How can I watch deer with my ears?”
- My grandpa says his hearing isn’t so good anymore. I told him, “Don’t worry, I’ll speak up.” He said, “No thanks, I don’t want your soup.”
- What do you call an ear of corn that joins the circus? A pop star!
- What do you call it when an ear doctor needs help? A hearing aid.
- I saw a sign that said “Ears pierced while you wait.” Ouch, that seems like a long time to wait!
- Why don’t they make earmuffs for fish? Because they have inner ears.
- I told my friend my ears were ringing after the concert. He said, “That’s just your phone.” I said, “Hello?”
- My friend told me he was going to open a store that sells only left ears. I told him, “I don’t think that’s right.”
- My audiologist is a real history buff. He’s always got his ear to the ground.
- What did the left ear say to the right ear? Between you and me, something smells.
- I went to a doctor who specializes in really big ears. He had a giant practice.
Ear QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Ear
- Q: What did the left ear say to the right ear? A: I’m all ears!
- Q: Why did the music student get sent to the principal’s office? A: For playing piano by ear… literally pulling on his earlobes.
- Q: Where do ear enthusiasts go to dance? A: To an ear-a, ear-a!
- Q: Why are ears so important in math class? A: Because they help you di-spire problems!
- Q: What’s the most popular snack at the audiologist’s office? A: Ear-resistable chips!
- Q: What do you call a group of rabbits giving a concert? A: A hare-mony, naturally!
- Q: Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side? A: Yeah, he’s all right now.
- Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter? A: Aye-R! Takes the wind right out of their sails… or ears.
- Q: What do you call a bear without any teeth or ears? A: A gummy bear! And a very quiet one, at that.
- Q: What did the ear say to the earring? A: You’ve got a point.
- Q: What do you call a musician with problems telling time? A: Someone with no ear for rhythm.
- Q: What do you get when you combine an elephant and a fish? A: Swimming trunks with really big ear-holes.
- Q: What do you call a bear with no ears? A: B!
- Q: Why are spiders so musical? A: They’re always found in the web spinning tunes!
- Q: How does an ear of corn get to work? A: On the ear-ie canal.
- Q: How do we know that corn has ears? A: Because the stalks have ears of corn on them – duh!
- Q: What happens when you borrow money from an ear? A: You get ear-loans!
- Q: What did the parent say to their child who was talking during a concert? A: “Quiet! You’re not the only one here with ears, you know.”
Dad Jokes About Ear: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why don’t they play music for skeletons at dances? Because they have no body to dance with and no ear to hear with!
- What’s the most considerate thing you can do for a deaf vegetable? Lend an ear and romaine calm.
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Deaf Children.” I thought, “That sounds like a terrible superpower.”
- My wife got mad at me for not listening to her. At least I think that’s what she said. I wasn’t really paying attention.
- What’s it called when a group of corn stalks get together to play music? A jam session for all ears.
- Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes! Speaking of high notes, did you hear about the composer who went deaf? He couldn’t note-ice the difference!
- What do you get if you cross a vampire and a composer? A musician who writes bat-itudes and can’t hear you scream!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth and no hearing? A gummy deaf-eater!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…and he could finally hear what the crows were saying!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of music? Anything but heavy metal. It hurts their ears!
- I went to a seafood restaurant and the waiter asked me what I wanted. “I’ll have the fish and chips,” I said. He replied, “Well, I never! What a coincidence! That’s what I’m wearing!” I said, “That’s eerie…and a little fishy, don’t you think?”
- I went to a zoo and they only had one dog. It was a Shih Tzu. They said it was a shih-tzu-ation! I couldn’t hear them very well, though. Turns out it was a listening problem ear-a.
- I used to be a baker, but I had to quit. I kneaded the dough! But I also couldn’t hear the timer over the mixer. It was a real shame. I had a lot of bread-ucation!
- What’s it called when an owl drops its iPod? A tweet deck crash! The owl couldn’t believe his ears!
- I met a genie who offered me three wishes. I said, “For my first wish, I want to be able to hear a pin drop from a mile away!” The genie said, “Ears-a deal!”
- I went to a restaurant called “Karma” yesterday. There was no menu. They just said, “What goes around, ear-rives!”
- Why are fish so easy to convince? They’re always looking for a bait of conversation and they’re excellent listeners, even with those gills instead of ears!
Ear Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the left ear get in trouble at school? Because it didn’t hear the teacher!
- What’s an ear’s favorite music genre? Ear-resistible pop!
- My friend said my ears remind him of seashells… I thought that sounded fishy!
- What does a nervous ear say? I’m all ears, but I’m a little hard of hearing!
- Why do owls have such good hearing? Because they have really wise ears!
- What’s an ear’s favorite type of candy? Lolli-ear-pops!
- What did the ear say to the eye after a fight? Just look away, I don’t want to hear it!
- Where do ears go to get their news? The ear-waves!
- What did the mommy ear say to the baby ear? You’re looking sharp today!
- What did the ear say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’m ear all day!
- Why are ears so good at telling secrets? Because they never tell, they just listen!
- I got a new earring today… It’s ear-resistibly sparkly!
- What’s an ear’s favorite type of shoe? Sneakears!
- My friend told me a secret in one ear… I guess it went in one ear and out the other!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why did the music teacher need a doctor? He lost his hearing and couldn’t tune his ears!
- I tried to make orange juice with my ears… Turns out, I couldn’t quite concentrate!
- What’s an ear’s favorite board game? Anything but Hear-say!
- What happens when an ear gets too cold? It gets ear-muffs!
- Why are ears always so calm? Because nothing gets past them!
Ear Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the audiophile break up with the musician? Because he said her taste in music was “ear-itating”!
- My friend said his hearing is getting worse. I told him he needed to see a specialist. He said, “Which one? A head doctor or an ear doctor?” I said, “Either way, just get your hearing checked!”
- A conspiracy theorist walked into a bar…or so I hear.
- My wife got mad at me for not listening to her problems. I guess you could say it went in one ear and out the other. To be fair, I do have a draft.
- What do you call a group of rabbits that walk single file, each one placing one ear on the back of the one in front? A hare-raising experience!
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Ear Repair.” I thought, “How can you even tell if it’s working?”
- My doctor told me I have an ear infection from wearing cheap earrings. Apparently, they were “lobe-otomy” deals.
- What’s the most sensitive part of an ear of corn? The silk. It gets upset when you shuck it the wrong way.
- My friend said he wanted to be a sound engineer but gave up because it was too much pressure. Apparently, he couldn’t handle the “ear-resistible” stress.
- Why are pirates such bad singers? They’re always a little pitchy.
- I went to a seminar about the dangers of eavesdropping. I learned some interesting things, but I can’t tell you about them. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
- What did the left ear say to the right ear after the head transplant? “Between you and me, I think we’re on a whole new level!”
- You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember if you did something or just thought about doing it. And then you can’t remember if you already had this thought before.
- I went to a restaurant that serves “all you can hear” music. I’m still trying to finish the playlist.
- Why do DJs make terrible surgeons? Because they always scratch the record.
- What do you call a secret agent who pretends to be deaf? An undercover hearer.
- My grandpa’s hearing aid is connected to his phone via Bluetooth. He loves it, says he can finally hear the people he’s ignoring in HD.
- Dating a musician is like playing the lottery. You never know if you’re going to strike a chord…or end up with a broken record.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! And because the parrots have such good ears.
Ear Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- I tried to make a candle shaped like an ear. Turns out, it’s ear-resistible! 🕯️👂
- Just saw a sign that said “Watch for Deer.” I thought, “How can I watch their ears from this distance?” 🦌👂
- My friend told me I have a really good eye for earrings. I told him it’s my ears that have the real talent. 😉👂
- What’s the most popular jewelry in Egypt? Pharaoh-rings! 👑🇪🇬👂
- I’m writing a song about all the things my ears do. It’s going to be an earworm. 🎶🐛👂
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆🃏 (Because cheetahs have sharp ears for listening to heartbeats… get it?)
- My left ear got pierced before my right one. It was an ear-ly adopter. 😎👂
- Someone told me they love listening to my problems. I guess you could say I’ve got a captive audience. 👂😂
- I used to hate my big ears, but then they grew on me. 😌👂
- My friend got a job whispering secrets to royalty. He’s making a fortune as a closeteer. 👑🤫👂
- My ears are always cold, so I’ve started wearing tiny earmuffs. They’re ear-resistably cute! 🥶👂
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻🍬 (But be careful, they might try to eat your ear-resistible gummy bears!)
- I’m starting to think my headphones are judging my music choices. They’ve heard it all. 🎧🤨👂
- Why don’t shrimp share their food? Because they’re shellfish! 🦐 (And they need their ears to “hear” danger approaching in the ocean!)
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! 🦘🥔 (They’re too busy listening to podcasts with their big ears!)
- I wanted to buy some music online, but all the good tunes were already earmarked. 🎶🛒👂
- My dog is always getting into trouble. I think he has selective hearing… or maybe he’s just ignoring me. 🐶🙉
- My grandma says she can’t hear as well as she used to. I told her, “Join the club!” 👵👂
- Life is like a good pair of earrings: precious, sometimes a little uncomfortable, but always there to accessorize your experiences. ✨👂
Ear We Go! Thanks For Lending An Ear 😂
We hope these ear-resistibly funny puns and jokes left you feeling ear-ie-sistable! But don’t stop here! Explore our website for a truly ear-resistible collection of puns and jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone and leave you laughing for more.