145+ Candy Puns & Jokes: Sweeten Your Day With Laughter

ByRabia Noreen & Team

Get ready to satisfy your sweet tooth and your funny bone! 😂 We’ve got a list of the best candy puns and jokes about candy that are guaranteed to make you chuckle. 🍬 Whether you’re looking for some clever wordplay or silly humor for kids, this list has something for everyone. So grab your favorite sugary treat and get ready for some seriously sweet (and positive!) laughs. 🍭 This is one list you’ll be sure to Reese-member! 😉

Top ‘Candy Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the candy bar go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crunchy!
  2. I poured M&Ms and Skittles into a bowl. People keep telling me it’s a controversial mix.
  3. You know, my therapist told me to use my words instead of candy to express my feelings… So I dumped a bag of conversation hearts on her desk and walked out.
  4. My friend said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.” I said, “Yeah, and I got diabetes just looking at it!”
  5. What do you call a gummy bear that’s a sore loser? A sour patch kid!
  6. Did you hear about the gummy worm who escaped jail? The police are looking for him gummy-where!
  7. I tried to start a candy-themed band called “The Sugar Daddies”… But we couldn’t get a lick in edgewise.
  8. Why don’t they make candy with broccoli? Because kids would actually eat their vegetables!
  9. I went to a candy store that sells broken candy at a discount. It’s called “Slightly Off.”
  10. My dentist is so sweet, she always gives me candy after an appointment. I think she’s filling my cavities with it.
  11. My love life is like a box of chocolates that’s been left open too long… All the good ones are gone, and I’m left with the coconut ones.
  12. Why did the candy corn get dumped by the chocolate bar? Because he was too corny!
  13. What do you call an owl that loves candy? A Whoopers-nanner!
  14. I went on a diet and all I could think about was candy. I guess you could say I had Skittles on the brain.
  15. Why are pirates bad at trick-or-treating? They take all the candy and say, “Candy, me hearties!”
  16. I saw a sign that said, “Caution: Candy Zone.” I thought, “Finally, my kind of place!”
  17. What do you get when you combine a gummy bear and a gummy worm? I don’t know, but it sounds bear-y scary!
  18. Why did the gingerbread man rob the bank? He needed the dough!
  19. What did the ghost say to the candy bar? “You look like you’re in mint condition!”
Ultimate list and collection of Best Candy Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘Candy Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. I wanted to create a candy bar that captures the essence of Shakespeare, but all my attempts were Much Ado About Nutthing.
  2. The gummy bears were always getting into trouble. They were real jelly beans.
  3. I saw a sign that said “Caution: Candy Zone.” I thought, “Well, that’s a bittersweet warning.”
  4. Why did the candy hearts get lost? They were following their sweetie navigation.
  5. What do you call a candy that likes to rock out? A Sweet Tart of the Dark!
  6. My dentist told me to avoid anything sugary, but I think he’s just candy-coating the truth.
  7. My friend tried to open a candy store but it failed. It turns out, location is everyshing.
  8. Did you hear about the candy maker who went bankrupt? His business was jawbreaking.
  9. Never ask a piece of toffee its opinion. It’s always stuck in its ways.
  10. What do you get when you combine a Skittle and a Starburst? A flavor of the universe!
  11. The detective knew the lollipop was guilty, it was covered in sugar-coated evidence.
  12. I tried to write a song about candy, but I got stuck on the choco-late verse.
  13. My love for you is like a box of chocolates, sweet and full of surprises.
  14. That new candy store is so popular, there’s always a lolli-line out the door.
  15. I’m starting a support group for candy addicts. We meet every week to talk about our sweet nothings.
  16. I used to be addicted to gummy bears, but I’m chew-ber now.
  17. The gummy worms went to court to fight for their rights. They were seeking jelly-stice.
  18. I’m writing a book about my candy obsession. It’s an autobio-grabby.
  19. Don’t underestimate the power of candy. It can really sweeten the deal.
  20. Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s always better with a sprinkle of fun.
Related:  101+ Volunteer Jokes & Puns: Lend a Helping Hand (and Funny Bone)!

Funny ‘Candy One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Candy Jokes

  1. I’m starting a candy-based dating app. It’s called “Plenty of Caramel.”
  2. My dentist told me to avoid anything sugary… so I guess our relationship is over, candy.
  3. I tried to make a candy sculpture, but it just kept falling apart. Turns out it was a brittle plan.
  4. The gummy bears started a band, but they’re struggling to get gigs. They’re just too gelatinous.
  5. My friend tried to name his candy company after himself, but Bob’s Candies just didn’t sound appealing.
  6. I saw a sign that said “Candy for Thoughts.” Looked delicious, but I wasn’t sure I could afford it.
  7. Life is like a box of chocolates: mostly disappointing with a few random nuts thrown in.
  8. My new candy shop is struggling. Business has been pretty lack-tose lately.
  9. Just found out I’m colorblind… my whole life has been a lie-corice.
  10. Never tell a secret in a room full of candy. Those walls have ears, and those gummy bears are always listening.
  11. You know what’s a real lifesaver? Candy… well, not literally, but still.
  12. Tried to pay for my groceries with candy, but the cashier gave me a hard candy stare.
  13. My love life is like a forgotten lollipop – sweet at first, then it just sticks around way too long.
  14. The candy store owner wouldn’t let me buy anything. He said I had to be this tall to reach the candy.
  15. I tried writing a song about candy, but it turned out kind of sappy.
  16. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  17. I wanted to start a candy business, but I couldn’t decide on a name. Everything I thought of was already choco-late.
  18. Why don’t they make candy from snow? Because it would just be flake news.

Candy QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Candy

  1. Q: Why did the candy bar melt at the beach? A: Because it had a “rocky road” getting there!
  2. Q: What’s a teacher’s favorite candy bar? A: A PayDay, because they deserve it!
  3. Q: Why did the gummy bears get in trouble at school? A: They were always getting stuck in a “sticky” situation!
  4. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep and a candy bar? A: A “chocolate baa”!
  5. Q: Why did the detective turn down the candy hearts? A: He knew they were full of sweet “lies”!
  6. Q: What did the candy bar say to the employee of the month? A: “You’re really wrapper-around-the-finger good at your job!”
  7. Q: What kind of music do gummy worms listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal!
  8. Q: Why was the toffee feeling so down? A: It was feeling really stuck and caramelized.
  9. Q: How did the candy cane get to the hospital? A: By ambulance, of “course”!
  10. Q: Why did the chocolate chip cookie break up with the candy bar? A: He was too “chunky” for her!
  11. Q: Why don’t they allow candy bars at the gym? A: They cause too much “crunch time”!
  12. Q: What did the sour candy say to the sweet candy? A: “Hey there, you’re looking awfully sweet today! Too sweet…”
  13. Q: Why did the candy hearts fail their driving test? A: They kept falling in “love” at every intersection!
  14. Q: What did the M&M say to the psychiatrist? A: “Doctor, I think I’m losing my ‘candy’ing!”
  15. Q: Why was the candy corn always invited to parties? A: He was such a “kernel” of fun!
  16. Q: What happens when two gummy bears get married? A: They have a “gummy” bear wedding!
  17. Q: What do you call a Valentine’s Day candy that’s been left out in the sun? A: A “sweet” disaster!
  18. Q: Why was the jellybean embarrassed? A: Because he accidentally “beaned” someone with a bouncy ball!
  19. Q: How do you show a candy bar you care? A: Give it a big “chocolate” hug!
  20. Q: What do you call a candy bar that’s always getting into trouble? A: A real “sweet” talker!
Related:  145+ Croc-ing Yourself! Jokes & Puns About Crocs 🐊

Dad Jokes About Candy: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was a great date, I hear there’s gonna be a sequel called Candy.
  2. I tried to start a business making candy bars shaped like famous monuments… Turns out, the Eiffel Tower is not a candy bar.
  3. My son asked me to name a candy that begins with the letter “K”… I said, “Kit… Kat bar!” He wasn’t candy.
  4. A thief broke into our house last night and stole all our candy… I’m not sure how he got in, but he sure Reese-d his way out!
  5. My wife said she wanted me to whisper something sweet to her… So I whispered, “Candy.”
  6. I saw a sign that said “Caution: Flying Candy!”… Now I really want to meet whoever threw a Starburst that hard!
  7. My doctor told me to watch my sugar intake, so now I just stare at candy really intently.
  8. I wanted to name my daughter “Candy”… My wife wasn’t sweet on the idea.
  9. I tried to make a sculpture out of candy, but it kept falling apart… Guess you could say my dreams were crushed.
  10. You know what they call an owl that loves candy? A Whooper-Sweet.
  11. I saw a guy walking down the street wearing a shirt that said “I love candy.” I said, “Dude, me too! What’s your favorite?”
  12. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he wanted to be a Smartie.
  13. I went to a candy store looking for some conversation hearts, but they only had the broken ones left… Guess I’ll just have to take their word for it.
  14. What do you get when you combine a gummy bear and a dinosaur? A Gummy-saurus Rex.
  15. I tried to write a song about candy, but I couldn’t find the right tune.
  16. Why did the candy bar melt in the car? Because it left its Airhead on!
  17. I’m starting a candy-themed band… We’re called “The Sugar Rush.”

Candy Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the candy go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby!
  2. What does a happy lollipop say? Sucker for life!
  3. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he wanted to be a Smartie!
  4. What kind of candy do athletes love? Jolly Ranchers!
  5. What’s a candy’s favorite game to play in the arcade? Candy Crush!
  6. What did the gummy bear say to the lollipop? You’re looking sticky today!
  7. Why was the chocolate bar sad? Because he felt like he was melting under pressure!
  8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  9. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? A Lifesaver!
  10. What do you get if you cross a cat with a lemon drop? A sour puss!
  11. What do you say to a chocolate bar that’s feeling down? Hey, don’t be a sucker!
  12. What did the chocolate chips say to the cookie dough? We’re dough-lighted to be here!
  13. Why did the gummy worm cross the road? To get to the chewy center!
  14. What did the candy corn say to the trick-or-treater? Have a sweet Halloween!
  15. What kind of music does a lollipop listen to? Pop music!
  16. Why did the Twizzler break up with the lollipop? Because they said the relationship wasn’t going anywhere!
  17. What do you call a mischievous piece of candy? A real sweet talker!

Candy Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. My therapist told me to use my words instead of candy to deal with my emotions. Guess I’m gonna have to tell everyone I’m feeling “Snickers-tatic” about this new therapy!
  2. Dating is like a box of assorted chocolates. Mostly disappointing, but then you find a hidden caramel truffle and think, “Okay, maybe I’ll risk another bite.”
  3. I tried to start a candy-themed band called “Sugar Daddies,” but we couldn’t find a bassist who wasn’t already swamped with marriage proposals.
  4. Someone left a bowl of candy on my desk labeled “Take one.” I took them all. They should’ve used better grammar, like “Take one piece.” Amateurs.
  5. My doctor told me to lay off the candy. Apparently, my blood sugar levels were “off the Richter scale.” I told him to chill, it was just a “Kit Kat” situation, not an earthquake.
  6. They say love is sweeter the second time around. Must be why divorced people go through so much “Jolly Rancher.”
  7. I saw a sign that said “Candy Hearts, $5 a pound.” Seems a bit pricey, but then again, love is a battlefield.
  8. My friend tried to pay his rent with candy bars. His landlord wasn’t exactly “sweet” on the idea.
  9. You know you’re an adult when you get more excited about finding a sale on laundry detergent than a new flavor of Skittles.
  10. I went to a candy store that sold nothing but broken candy canes. They called it “The Rejects’ Retreat.” Talk about a niche market.
  11. Why did the gummy bear get voted prom queen? She was absolutely “beary” charming.
  12. I went to a restaurant that served candy instead of regular food. It was interesting, but the “steak and potatoes” (a Snickers and some Mike and Ikes) left me wanting more.
  13. My friend said he wanted to incorporate more “Twix” into his love life. I told him to be careful, things could get “two”-faced fast.
  14. I used to work in a candy factory. Let’s just say it was a pretty “sweet” gig until they let me go. Turns out I have a bit of a “sampling” problem.
  15. Why did the candy hearts break up? They just weren’t meant “to-be.”
  16. They say money talks, but all mine ever says is “Goodbye!” …usually while I’m at the candy store.
  17. My resolution this year was to give up candy for a healthier lifestyle. It lasted about as long as a lollipop in a room full of toddlers.
  18. I’m writing a romance novel about two star-crossed candy hearts. It’s a “bittersweet” tale of forbidden love and sprinkles.
  19. Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s usually over before you realize you ate the whole thing.
Related:  92+ Journalism Jokes & Puns: Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

Candy Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. I’m starting a candy-themed dating app. It’s called… wait for it… Candy Crush. 🍬💖😂
  2. My friend tried to pay for his candy bar with Bitcoin. The cashier said, “Sorry, we’re only taking hard candy right now.” 🍫💸🤣
  3. Just saw a sign that said “Caution: Children Crossing, May Bite.” I thought, “They must be handing out free candy!” 🍭⚠️😂
  4. My therapist suggested I replace all my negative thoughts with candy. Now my life is much sweeter, but I think I need to see a dentist. 😅🍬🦷
  5. What do you get when you combine Halloween and Valentine’s Day? Candy hearts that say “Boo!” 👻❤️🍬
  6. What did the gummy bear say to his crush? “You’re lookin’ sweeter than ever!” 😉🐻🍬
  7. Why was the candy bar sad? It was feeling a little crabby. 🍫😩😂
  8. I went on a tour of a candy factory… it was a-maze-ing! 🏭🍬🤩
  9. What’s a candy cane’s least favorite music genre? Anything heavy metal. 🍭🤘😂
  10. I tried to make a candy sculpture, but it just kept falling apart. Turns out I’m not so good at candy-struction. 🏗️🍬😩
  11. My friend said he wanted a career where he could work with his hands. I suggested he become a candy maker. He wasn’t amused, but he did get a hand full of jelly beans. 🙌🍬😂
  12. I’m so addicted to candy, I even named my pet parrot Skittles. Now I can honestly say I talk to candy every day. 🦜🍬😅
  13. Just got dumped. Guess I’m single and ready to… Sniffle… mingle… Oh, who am I kidding? Pass the candy! 😭🍬💔
  14. Life is like a box of chocolates… if someone eats all the good ones before you get to them. 🍫😠😂
  15. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻🍬 (Classic, but a crowd-pleaser!)
  16. My doctor told me to eat more fiber. So I’m starting a new diet of cotton candy and gummy worms. Wish me luck! 👨‍⚕️🍬😂
  17. Why did the M&M go to school? To become a Smartie! 🤓🍬📚
  18. What do you call it when a candy cane needs a ride? A candy lift! 🍭🚗😂
  19. My love for you is like a Twizzler… twisted and never-ending! ❤️🥨🍬
  20. I’m not saying I love candy, but I do have a dedicated drawer for it… and a backup stash. Okay, maybe I love candy. 🤫🍬😋

🍬 Sweeten Your Day: Share the Candy Laughs! 🍬

We hope these candy puns and jokes haven’t left you feeling too sappy! If you’re still craving more laughs, don’t be a sucker – head over to our website for a whole buffet of hilarious puns and jokes. We promise, they’re absolutely funtastical!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

Similar Posts