110+ Bag Puns & Jokes: You’ve Been Handle-d!
Get ready to laugh your totes off! 😂 This list of bag jokes and puns is the best way to lighten the mood and inject some humor into your day. From clever wordplay to silly punchlines, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike. Get ready for some seriously funny puns – you might even say they’re… wait for it… in the bag! 😉 🎉
Top Bag Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the grocery bag fail its exam? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
- What did the designer say about the new line of handbags? They’re all the rage!
- How did the tote bag win the argument? It had strong points.
- Why don’t they tell secrets in a bag shop? Too many listeners!
- What’s a kangaroo’s favorite type of bag? A tote-ally awesome one!
- I went to a really emotional sale on handbags… Even the prices were in TEARS!
- You know, money talks… But all mine ever says is “Bye-bye!” [Emphasize with a waving motion of the hand]
- I tried to make a belt out of watches once… But it was a waist of time! [Emphasize ‘waist’]
- Why don’t they have a bag-throwing competition at the Olympics? They’d be afraid someone would win by a landslide!
- What’s the most fashionable type of bag? A satchel-ite dish!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… So I took it to the movies! It’s been a few hours, I think it’s time to bag him up and go home.
- Where do stylish ghosts keep their stuff? In boo-tique bags.
- You know what’s the worst thing about buying a brand new bag? Having to unpack it when you get home!
- Why did the thief steal a calendar? He wanted to get away with the bag-days!
Clever Bag Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the gym bag fail its audition? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
- You know, I tried to make a bag out of thyme… But it was a waste of thyme.
- I tried to explain to my backpack why it shouldn’t take things so personally. It just shouldered the burden.
- Where do chic vegetables keep their makeup? In their tote-ally amazing bags.
- I used to be a bagger at the grocery store. I quit because I couldn’t handle the sack-rifice.
- My therapist told me to let go of my emotional baggage. So I took it on vacation!
- Why are beanbags always so relaxed? They’re full of beans and know how to chill.
- You’ve really got to hand it to paper bags… They hold everything together.
- I saw a sign that said “Bagpipes for Sale – Cheap.” I thought, “Wow, that’s a very specific niche market.”
- Why did the detective arrest the grocery bag? It fit the description.
Funny Bag One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Bag Jokes
- You know, money talks… but all mine ever says is “Bye, bag!”
- My therapist told me to let go of my baggage. I think she’s overestimating how much stuff I can carry.
- I saw a sign that said “Bag for Sale.” So I asked, “What’s in it?”
- I went to the doctor because I thought I swallowed a duffel bag. He said, “Well, at least you’re looking better!”
- I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a complete waste of thyme. Also, it didn’t fit in my bag.
- What did the plastic bag say to the groceries? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
- Never tell a secret in a teabag factory. Everyone’s always spilling the tea!
- What’s a chiropractor’s favorite type of bag? A spinal-pack!
- Why didn’t the backpack get any sleep? Because it was too full of books and felt too knapsack’d!
- Why did the grocery bag fail its history test? Because it kept losing its dates!
Bag QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Bag
- Q: What did the little brown bag say to the banana peel after a workout? A: “Whew, I’m feeling peeled back!”
- Q: Why did the grocery bag fail its history test? A: It kept confusing the Renaissance with the “Reusable-naissance.”
- Q: What do you call a tote bag that’s always stressed out? A: A “Tote-ally” Freaked Out Bag!
- Q: Why did the detective suspect the duffel bag? A: It looked like it had something to hideaway.
- Q: What did the judge say to the shoplifting paper bag? A: “Your sentence is this: one year in the box, and you’re carrying a harsh sentence!”
- Q: What kind of music do backpacks listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal!
- Q: Why are backpacks so good at keeping secrets? A: They’ve got your back, zipper-sealed tight.
- Q: Why is it so hard to trust a suitcase? A: It’s always got a hidden agenda.
- Q: My doctor told me I need to get more iron in my diet. Any suggestions? A: Carry a heavy bag of cast iron skillets everywhere you go!
- Q: What did the designer say about their new line of luxury bags? A: “They’re all the rage! Soon everyone will be tote-ally obsessed!”
- Q: Where do trendy bags go on Friday night? A: To the hop-skip-and-tote bag disco!
- Q: My bag seems to be lighter than usual. What could be the problem? A: It’s probably suffering from de-light-ful curiosity!
- Q: What did the purse say to the wallet after a long day of shopping? A: “Let’s bounce! I’m coin-cidentally exhausted.”
Dad Jokes About Bag: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my wife her new handbag looks really expensive. She said, “It was a steal!” I think someone’s about to get framed!
- What’s a burglar’s favorite type of bag? A “swag” bag.
- My wife asked me to pick up twenty different spices at the store. I told her, “Babe, that’s a pretty tall order”
- What did the motivational speaker say about reusable bags? “They have so much potential!”
- What’s brown and white and loved by kangaroos? A tote-ally awwdorable baby.
- I saw a sign that said “Bags For Sale.” So I asked, “What’s in the bag?”
- Why did the grocery bag break in the library? It was too quiet in there!
- A thief stole my dictionary yesterday. I said, “Well, that’s the last straw!” and “They can’t be satchel-fied!”
- Why did the gym bag fail its exam? It wasn’t fit to pass!
- Why did the detective bring a magnifying glass to the crime scene? He was looking for clues!
- What did the seagull say when it stole your beach bag? “Sea-ya later!”
- Never tell a secret in a cornfield. Too many ears!
- You know what they say about traveling with oversized luggage… It’s all fun and games until you get charged with extra fees!
Bag Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the grocery bag fail its math test? Because it was full of square roots!
- What did the little beanbag say to the big beanbag? “Hey! You’re lookin’ full of beans today!”
- What’s a kangaroo’s favorite type of bag? A hop-pocket!
- Where do paper bags go to dance? A shopping cart-nival!
- Why did the backpack get in trouble at school? He kept putting everything off until the last minute!
- I bought a bag of air the other day… I’m feeling pretty deflated about it.
- My dad keeps telling me to pack my bags for our vacation. I told him, “Relax, it’s in the bag!”
- What did the purse say to the wallet? “Let’s hang out sometime!”
- Why are duffel bags so strong? They’re always filled with determination!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of bag? A boo-gie bag!
- My mom told me to take the garbage bag out… So, I took it to the movies!
- You know, money really does talk… Especially when you put it in a tote bag!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bag. Bag who? Bag your pardon!
Bag Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they tell secrets in a garden? Because the beans stalk, the potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears, but the bag is always leaking!
- My therapist told me to let go of my baggage from the past. So I took her advice and went shopping for some new, more stylish luggage.
- I told my wife she was spending too much on designer handbags. She said, “Don’t even go there!” So I went to the shoe department instead.
- Heard about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. Thankfully, it was all in the bag.
- My doctor told me I have a bad case of “traveler’s stomach.” I said, “That’s impossible, I always unpack my bags as soon as I get home.”
- Why did the old man bring a suitcase to the bank? Because he wanted to take his money out in small bills!
- You know you’re getting old when… you and your grocery bags have the same expiration date.
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” So I took a seat. Good thing too, they were in that little bag of marbles I found earlier. (Just kidding, I put the marbles back…)
- I’m at that age where I need to carry three bags when I go shopping. One for groceries, one for my medications, and one for my teeth… they just fall out sometimes!
- Retirement is great. Every day is casual Friday… unless you forget to bring your bags in from the curb. Then it’s just embarrassing Tuesday.
- I tried to explain to my grandson what a fanny pack is. “It’s like a pocket but on your waist,” I said. He looked at me like I was from the Stone Age. Then he took out his phone… and took a picture! Kids these days…
- Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It’s all fun and games until someone asks for their bag back.
- I finally cleaned out my purse. Found a $20 bill, my reading glasses, and a half-eaten granola bar from 2018. See, honey, told you I’d find that lottery ticket!
Bag Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I told my friend her tote bag was amazing. She said, “Thanks, it’s tote-ally custom made!”
- What did the sad shopping bag say to the cashier? “I’m feeling empty inside.”
- Why did the grocery bag break up with the paper bag? It said they weren’t a good paper-bag match.
- What’s a burglar’s favorite type of bag? A swag bag. 😎
- Just saw a guy carrying a bag labeled “Stolen Watches.” I wanted to call the cops, but then I thought, “Nah, that’s just in-case.”
- Got a job at a paper bag factory, but I got fired on my first day. Apparently, I wasn’t cut out for it.
- What’s a sleepwalker’s favorite type of bag? A knapsack.
- My therapist told me to let go of my emotional baggage. So, I took it to the airport and left it with TSA.
- Why did the gym bag fail its audition? It couldn’t handle the reps.
- Never judge someone by their bag… unless it’s full of cash, then we’re judging. 💸
- What’s a kangaroo’s favorite type of bag? A baby bag.
- My wallet is like an onion… opening it makes me bag to cry. 😭
- Just bought a camouflage bag… I can’t wait to lose it.
Bag-ged a Laugh Yet? 😉
We hope these bag jokes and puns didn’t leave you feeling empty! If you’re still hungry for more laughter, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Explore our punny website for a whole suitcase full of hilarious jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the floor laughing!
