140+ Hippo Puns & Jokes: You’ll Say “Hippo-ray!”
Hold onto your hippos-potamus, because you’re about to dive into the FUNNIEST 🦛 collection of hippo puns and jokes! 😂 Get ready for a list of the BEST and most CLEVER hippo humor, with jokes about these magnificent creatures that are perfect for kids and adults alike. This is more than just a list, it’s a celebration of positive vibes and pure hippo-laugh-amus! 😄 Get those chuckle muscles ready, things are about to get wild! 😉
Top ‘Hippo Jokes’ – Best Picks
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs…and one hippo-critical hippo always snitching!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, of course!
Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? He kept hippo-ing around during class!
What do you call a one-legged hippo? A Hoppo-potamus!
You know, I met a magic hippo once… Turns out, he was just a hippo-critical illusionist.
Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken…he’s a hippo!
My friend said hippos are really good dancers… I was hippo-tified to find out he was right!
Why are hippos so bad at hide-and-seek? They’re always hippo-ing out in the open!
What do you call a hippo with a sore throat? A hoarse-apotamus!
What do you call a hippo that’s always late? A procrasta-hippo!
Why don’t hippos like to share their food? They’re hippo-possessive!
Why was the hippo sad? He was having a hippo-potamus of a bad day.
What do you call a hippo that loves to sing in the rain? A shower-apotamus!
Why are hippos such good gardeners? They have green thumbs… and huge hippo-dactyls!
What do you get if you cross a hippo with a skunk? I don’t know, but it sure would stink-a-hippo!
What’s big, gray, and wears glass slippers? Cinder-hippo!
Why don’t hippos ever give up? They’re incredibly hippo-sistent!
Clever ‘Hippo Puns’ – Best Picks
“I’m feeling very hippo-critical today,” said the hippo as he judged the crocodile’s outfit.
A hippo walks into a library. The librarian whispers, “Hey, your hippo-totamus is showing!”
That hippo sure is living the good life. Must be hippo-allergenic to stress.
“Don’t be so hippo-chondriacal!” the mama hippo reassured her calf. “It’s just a little sniffle.”
The hippo was a skilled painter, known for his hippo-realist style.
He couldn’t resist the urge to sing along to his favorite song, “Hippo-tize” by The Notorious B.I.G.
The hippo ballerina was a vision of grace, defying all those who said hippos couldn’t be hippo-letic.
The hippos formed a barbershop quartet known as “The Hippo-Campus Harmonies.”
“Don’t you dare hippo-critically judge my fashion choices!” the stylish hippo declared.
He dreamt of traveling the world, experiencing new cultures, and becoming a true hippo-globetrotter.
The young hippo was a prodigy, already composing his own hippo-honies on the piano.
“Let’s settle this like gentlemen,” the hippo challenged. “A duel…with hippo-dermic needles filled with water!”
The hippos held a protest against pollution with signs that read: “Clean water isn’t just hippo-thetical, it’s essential!”
The old hippo chuckled, “I’ve got more wrinkles than a hippo-potamus’s bottom!”
“Remember,” said the wise old hippo, “Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s usually got at least one hippo in it.”
Funny ‘Hippo One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Hippo Jokes
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, of course!
Never try to outrun a hippo. You’ll only get hippo-thermia from the chase.
What do you call a hippo that’s always eating? A hippo-chondriac!
Why are hippos so bad at poker? They always get caught bluffing with their hippo-hand.
I went to a zoo with just one dog in it. It was a shih tzu… but it could have been a hippo, I guess.
You know, I used to be afraid of hippos, but then I realized… they’re just big chickens. Hippo-allergenic chickens, but still.
My friend said his new apartment is the size of a hippo’s mouth. I said, “That’s hippo-tentous!”
What do you call a group of singing hippos? A hippo-pera!
Hippos are excellent security guards. They’re always on the lookout for hippo-tential threats.
Why are hippos so good at hide-and-seek? Because they’re hippo-ly invisible when they submerge!
Did you hear about the hippo that won an award? It was an hippo-honorary mention!
My dream job? A hippo-therapist. But I hear it’s emotionally draining.
I went to a zoo with only one animal. It was a hippo. It was hippo-thetical, of course.
Why don’t hippos ever go to the beach? They don’t want anyone to see their hippo-bums!
Hippo QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hippo
Q: What do you call a hippo who’s always interrupting? A: A hippo-crite!
Q: Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? A: He kept hippo-potamizing the classroom rules!
Q: What do you get if you cross a hippo with a lemon? A: A sour-pus!
Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of music? A: Hip-hop, of course!
Q: Why don’t hippos ever win hide-and-seek? A: Because they’re always hippo-chon-dria-ing about being found!
Q: What do you call a group of hippos who sing together? A: A hippo-pera!
Q: Why are hippos such good bowlers? A: They’ve got perfect hippo-tential!
Q: What do you call a hippo who’s really good at math? A: A hippo-potamus of knowledge!
Q: How do hippos pay their bills? A: With hippo-currency!
Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “A Midsummer Night’s Steam” (because they love the humidity!)
Q: Why did the hippo get a job at the bank? A: He was great with hippo-thecations!
Q: What do you call a hippo who’s always losing his keys? A: Hippo-less!
Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite type of shoe? A: Open-toed, they get hippo-thermia easily!
Q: Why did the hippo become a stand-up comedian? A: He heard he was hippo-lar-ious!
Q: What happens when two hippos get in a fight? A: It’s a hippo-crafight!
Q: What do you call a hippo that’s really good at poker? A: A hippo-crit! (He’s always got a good bluff!)
Q: Why don’t hippos make good chefs? A: Everything ends up hippo-pot-amous sized!
Dad Jokes About Hippo: Pun-Filled Quips
What do you call a hippo who’s always winning arguments? A hippo-critical thinker.
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, of course!
Where do hippos go on vacation? Florida! They love the Hip-porlando theme parks.
Why are hippos so bad at hide and seek? They’re always hippo-easy to find!
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs…and one hippo-crite.
What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? I don’t know, but you wouldn’t be able to hippo-tize me to get close to it!
Why are hippos so good at poker? They have four aces and a hippo-potamus!
My son asked me what the opposite of a hippopotamus is. I said, “A hippo-wasn’t-amus!”
What do you call a group of singing hippos? A hippo-pera!
What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? “A Midsummer Night’s Scream” (because of the hippos, get it?)
I tried starting a hippo farm, but I had to quit. It was too much hippo-crisy – they kept telling me to eat healthy!
Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? He kept hippo-ing around during class!
How do you make a hippo float? With a glass of root beer and a scoop of hippo-potomos ice cream!
What do you call a hippo who’s really good at math? A hippo-tenuse.
I told my daughter hippos were vegetarian. She said, “Really?” I said, “Hippo-critically speaking, yes.”
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of boat? A hippo-yacht, of course!
Did you hear about the hippo who became a lawyer? He’s a real smooth operator!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of bread? Sourdough… hippo-dough!
Hippo Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why do hippos love the water? Because they have all those hip-hip-hooray days!
What do you call a hippo that’s always losing things? A forget-hippo-potamus!
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of music? Anything hippo-hop!
How do hippos say hello to each other? With a big, wet hippo-hug!
Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? For talking in hippo-glyphics!
What’s a hippo’s favorite game to play in the mud? Hippo-pot-amus!
Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Where do hippos go to buy new shoes? The hippo-store!
What do you call a hippo who’s really good at math? A whiz-po-potamus!
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of boat? A hippo-poto-boat!
Why are hippos such bad dancers? Because they have two left feet! (Don’t tell them that, it’s a secret!)
What do you call a hippo that never takes a bath? A stinky-potamus!
Why did the hippo go to the doctor? He felt hippo-chondriac!
What does a hippo use to surf the internet? A hippo-computer!
What do you call a group of hippos singing together? A hippo-phony!
Why was the hippo looking at the calendar? He was trying to find his hippo-birthday!
What does a hippo use to clean its teeth? A hippo-potamus brush!
What’s a hippo’s favorite sport? Hippo-drome racing, of course!
Why are hippos so good at hide and seek? Because they’re experts at hippo-ing!
Hippo Jokes and Puns for Adults
Why did the hippo get kicked out of the library? Because he kept checking out all the hippo-potamus books! (Emphasis on “hippo-pot-amus”)
You could say hippos are nature’s drama queens… They’re always surrounded by water, but somehow still thirsty for attention.
My friend said he wanted to be reincarnated as a hippo. I told him, “Be careful what you wish for, you might get hungry, hungry hippos.”
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal, they’re more into “hippo-hop”.
Went on a safari, guide said the hippos were mating. I said, “How can you tell?” He goes, “Well, for one, they’re being incredibly hippo-critical.”
What do you call a group of hippos that start a band? “The River Runs Through It”, obviously. They’re all about that bass.
Dating a hippo is hard. First, it’s all romantic, swimming in the moonlight… Then reality bites. Literally.
A hippo walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally drops a five dollar bill. He looks down, sighs, and says, “Well, that’s hippo-thetical money now.”
Tried to make a dating profile for a single hippo at the zoo. Under “interests” I put “long walks on the riverbank, romantic mud baths, and not being judged for your size.”
What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Measure for Measure”, they appreciate a good tailor.
You know you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd when… the hippo is the designated driver.
I told my friend his obsession with hippos was getting out of control. He just gave me this look and said, “Don’t be hippo-critical, you’ve got your own quirks.”
What do you call a hippo that’s always second-guessing itself? Hippo-chondriac.
My boss is like a hippo, all bark and no bite… But mostly just a lot of splashing.
Went to a zoo, saw a sign that said “Do not feed the hippos.” Thought to myself, “They wouldn’t even know I’m here, they’re hippo-myopic!”
Why don’t hippos ever get invited to parties? Because they’re always the life of the swamp. And they tend to drink the pool dry.
Hippo Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
You know, hippos are incredibly graceful… for about five seconds. Then they’re back to being adorable water potatoes. #HippoLife
Just saw a hippo at the zoo having an existential crisis. Turns out, it’s hard being hippo-critical all the time. 🤔
Me trying to get my life together is like a baby hippo learning to swim. It’s a messy and chaotic splash-fest. #RelatableContent
My therapist told me to channel my inner hippo. Now I’m hungry, grumpy, and need a nap. Anyone else relate? 😴 #HippoTherapy
Breaking News: Local zoo replaces all hippos with slightly larger, grey watermelons. Visitors report being “pleasantly surprised” and “slightly sticky.” #FakeNews #HippoSwap
My love for you is like a hippo’s yawn… huge and impossible to ignore. 🥰 #CheesyPickupLine
Life is like a hippopotamus. You never know when it’s going to charge at you with surprising speed. Buckle up! 🤠 #LifeLessons
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hippo-hop, of course! 🎶 #MusicLover
What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? Hamlet, because they relate to the “To bathe, or not to bathe” soliloquy. #CultureVultures
I tried to start a hippo whisperer business, but it turns out they only speak hippo-to-hippo. 🤷♀️ #CommunicationBreakdown
You call it being “lazy,” I call it being “hippo-efficient.” Gotta conserve that energy somehow! 😴 #EfficiencyExpert
Never underestimate a hippo in a footrace. They may look chunky, but they’re surprisingly hippo-dynamic! 🏃♀️ #UnderdogStory
What do you call a group of hippos playing instruments? A hippo-phony orchestra! 🎺 #GetIt
My spirit animal is a hippo. I’m all about that chill, water-loving life… with occasional bursts of unexpected chaos. 😎 #SelfAwareness
Dating is like swimming with hippos. Exciting, potentially dangerous, and you might just get bitten in the butt. 😅 #DatingLife
Remember, be like a hippo. Be confident, be comfortable in your own skin, and always be ready for a good mud bath. 😉 #WordsToLiveBy
Hippo-n it’s time to say goodbye!
We’re not hippo-crites, we know you’re hungry for more hilarious puns! Don’t just sit there like a hippo in mud, dive into the rest of our punny website and explore a whole menagerie of jokes.
