135+ Swimming Puns & Jokes: Dive into Laughter!
πββοΈ Dive into the most hilarious depths of humor with this ocean of best swim puns and jokes about swimming! π This list of funny and clever jokes is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good splash of laughter. π Get ready to laugh your gills off because these puns are swimming with positive vibes and fin-tastic wordplay. You’d be cray-sea to miss it! π
Top ‘Swim Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why did the swimmer get fired from his job as a pizza chef? He kept tossing the dough in the pool!
- What do you call a sea monster who’s really good at swimming? A stroke of genius!
- How do swimmers upgrade their homes? With carp-ets!
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good stroke rhythm!
- Why are fish easy to convince? They’re easily swayed!
- I tried to explain to my friend the difference between “swim” and “swam”… It went right over his head.
- Why did the coach tell the swimmer to imagine the pool was on fire? He wanted to see him freestyle!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato who’d rather swim!
- What do you call a swimming competition in a bowl of soup? The World Broth Championships!
- What did the ocean say to the swimmer? Nothing, it just waved!
- Why are swimmers such bad poker players? They always show their hand!
- Where do sick ships go to get better? The doc!
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite dance move? The wave!
- How do you make a swimmer furious? Steal their flippers and tell them to go jump in a lake!
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? They’re shellfish!
- Why are fish so strong? They lift weights below sea level!
- What do you get if you cross a swimming pool and a bank? A loan shark!
- Did you hear about the swimmer who was afraid of the dark? He had a light stroke!
- Why are swimming pools so cool? They have a lot of fans!
- My friend said he was feeling “swimmy” today… I told him to go take a nap!

Clever ‘Swim Puns’ – Best Picks
- What did the ocean say to the swimmer? Nothing, it just waved! π
- I’m not sure if I’m a good swimmer, but I’m certainly making waves. π
- Did you hear about the swimming pool that went bankrupt? They had too many overheads! πΈ
- My friend wanted to name their baby “Sue Nami” because it sounded like tsunami. I said, “That’s a little extra, don’t you think?” πΆ
- Why are fish so easy to convince? Because they fall for anything hook, line, and sinker! π£
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato that prefers to swim! π¦
- My swimming instructor told me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I’m starting to think he’s full of hot air. π¨
- What kind of stroke did the art thief use in the pool? The Mona Lisa! π¨
- I tried to explain to my friend how swimming is great exercise, but it went right over his head. π€¦ββοΈ
- What do you call a bear that loves to swim? A polar bear-ista! π»ββοΈ
- Why did the swimmer get fired from his lifeguard job? He kept telling people to go jump in a lake. βοΈ
- Swimming with sharks? Sorry, I don’t sea it happening. π¦
- I’m not saying I’m a bad swimmer, but I’ve been accused of drowning my sorrows. π
- Why don’t they play poker in the ocean? Too many sharks! π
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat! πΆ
- My friend asked me what swimming style I excel at. I said, “Freestyleβ¦to the bottom of the pool!” π
- What do you call a droid that loves to swim? An R2-Sea2!π€
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? π€·ββοΈ
Funny ‘Swim One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Swim Jokes
- I tried to explain to my fish the benefits of swimming lessons, but he just wouldn’t bite.
- My friend said he wanted to swim with a school of sharks. I thought, “That’s one way to get schooled!”
- Swimming instructors have really flexible schedules, they work on a swim-by-swim basis.
- You know what the ocean said to the swimmer? Nothing, it just waved.
- I’m not sure what’s wrong with my swimming technique, but I keep getting kicked out of the pool for “flailing wildly.”
- Dating a swimming instructor is great, they always bring a floatie to a party.
- My therapist told me to jump in the pool and let my problems swim away. I think my problems are waterproof.
- I told my friend I was thinking of joining the synchronized swimming team. He said, “I didn’t know you could swim that badly in sync!”
- I wanted to name my pet fish after my favorite swimmer, but “Michael Phelps” wouldn’t fit on the bowl.
- My doctor told me I need to get more exercise, so I joined a synchronized swimming team. Now I’m just synched out.
- I’m writing a children’s book about a competitive swimmer with a lisp. It’s called, “Sally Shells Sea Shells by the Sea Shore.”
- Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as an excuse for not wanting to swim in the ocean… I guess it’s not a very broth excuse.
- What do you call a swimming pool that’s always angry? A pool of rage!
- If swimming is such good exercise, why do whales look the way they do?
- I only swim in pools with lifeguards who find me attractive. Call it a survival instinct.
- What’s the difference between a train and a bad swimmer? One goes, “Choo choo!” and the other goes “Cough, cough!”
- My friend asked if I wanted to go swimming. I told him, “Water you waiting for?”
- I’m starting a swimming team for introverts. It’s called the “Submerged Soloists.”
- I went to a seafood restaurant with a swimming pool. I thought to myself, “Talk about a catch and release program!”
- My swimming coach told me to visualize the finish line. I guess he didn’t realize I can’t see through water.
Swim QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Swim
- Q: What do you call a bear that’s a terrible swimmer? A: A strugglin’ bruin’!
- Q: Why was the swimming pool always so cool? A: It had a great sense of wave-length humor!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a swimming pool and a bank? A: I don’t know, but you’d better not get caught withdrawing from it!
- Q: Did you hear about the swimmer who was also a lawyer? A: He was always getting into deep water!
- Q: What kind of music do swimmers listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal β they don’t want to sink!
- Q: How do you communicate with a fish swimming in the ocean? A: You drop them a line!
- Q: What’s the difference between a swimmer and a pizza? A: One wears a speedo, the other is delivered in a speedo!
- Q: Why don’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools? A: They have to wear swim trunks, and those are really hard to find!
- Q: Why are fish so easy to weigh? A: Because they have their own scales!
- Q: Why did the two oceans get married? A: They had a deep and salty love!
- Q: How do trees get on the internet? A: They log in! (Okay, this one’s a bonus pun, but it felt too good to leave out!)
- Q: What kind of noodles do swimmers eat after a race? A: Pool-oodles!
- Q: Why do swimmers never get lost? A: They always have a stroke of luck!
- Q: Where do sick ships go? A: The doc! (Another bonus pun because…well, you know!)
- Q: What did the ocean say to the beach? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: What does the ocean do when it sees its friends? A: It waves!
- Q: How did the ocean pay for its purchases? A: With sand dollars!
- Q: Why was the ocean so mysterious? A: It had so many secrets hidden in its depths!
- Q: Why are swimmers such good storytellers? A: They always have a captivating ‘swim’opsis!
Dad Jokes About Swim: Pun-Filled Quips
- I wanted to name my pet fish after my favorite swimmer…but I couldn’t see Michael Phelps ever fitting in that tiny bowl.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… so I took it for a swim. Now weβre both in trouble.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. Why don’t they allow swimmers in the jungle? Too many croc-kers!
- What does a nosey pepper do in the ocean? It gets jalapeno business!
- Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
- A teenage fish walks into a wall. His dad shakes his fin and says, βBe careful, son! Youβre gonna get yourself in schools!β
- Why do swimmers practice in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
- I’m not sure what’s wrong with my car, but every time I hit the gas, it just goes, “Swim… swim…”
- My son asked me what the fastest swimming suit is⦠I told him a Speedo makes sense.
- I’m friends with all the lifeguards at the pool… we’re really close.
- I went to a seafood disco last night… I pulled a mussel.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! What do you get if you combine a kangaroo and a fish? A pouch potato that can really swim!
- I tried to explain to my son why his swimming trunks were shrinking, but I don’t think he understood the concept of “shrinkage.” He just gave me this blank stare, like I’d just jumped into the pool with all my clothes on.
- My friend said he wanted to swim with a crowd of peopleβ¦ I told him to go to the pool when itβs open to the public.
- Whatβs the difference between a train and a teacher? A teacher says βSpit that gum out right now!β and a train says βCHEW CHEW! What do you call a teacher who canβt control his students in the pool? A sub-stitute!
- My wife got me a book about anti-gravityβ¦ itβs impossible to put down! She also got me waterproof sunscreen for swimmersβ¦ but I donβt know how thatβs supposed to work.
- What’s the musical style of a talented swimmer? Swimphony!
- My son just joined the school’s synchronized swimming team… They have to start rehearsals early because they need a lot of thyme to perfect their routines.
- How do you cut the ocean in half? With a Sea-Saw!
- What kind of stroke did the pirate use in his swimming competition? The C-stroke!
Swim Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the swimming pool get all the attention? Because it was looking quite swim-pressive!
- What do you call a bear who’s really bad at swimming? A sinking feeling!
- What kind of stroke did the art teacher teach at the pool? The brushstroke!
- Why did the teacher jump into the pool during the math test? Someone yelled, “That’s easy, it’s a piece of swim!”
- Where do swimmers go when they need to buy something? The swim-art!
- How do you know the ocean is friendly? It waves! π
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! (Because it can’t “sea” anything!)
- What’s a shark’s favorite game? Anything they can play tag, you’re it, in!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved! π
- What kind of music do whales listen to? Orcastra music!
- What’s a sea monster’s favorite snack? Fish and ships!
- Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
- What do you call a messy crayfish? A slobster!
- Why don’t they play cards in the ocean? Too many sharks!
- What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved! π
- Why are pirates such bad swimmers? They put their booty on the bottom and flip over!
- How do you cut the ocean in half? With a sea-saw!
- What’s a jellyfish’s favorite dance? The jelly roll!
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
Swim Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the Olympic swimmer refuse to answer the phone? He was afraid it would be a long-distance charge.
- A swimmer walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits there, he hears the toilet flush and then a voice say, “Hey, we need more toilet paper!” The swimmer sighs, “This is going to be one of those ‘we’ situations, isn’t it?”
- My friend keeps bragging about her synchronized swimming team winning a gold medal. I just smile and nod. Honestly, I think it’s a bit shallow.
- Dating a synchronized swimmer is intense. You always feel like you’re dating the same person, just multiplied.
- I told my therapist I feel lost at sea. She told me to find my buoy. I think I need a new therapist. One that’s a little less salty.
- I saw a swimmer holding a sign that said “Honk if you love water sports!” I felt bad for the canoe in front of me.
- You know you’re a true swimmer when… you check the chlorine levels of your bathwater.
- Why are swimmers such good card players? They know how to shuffle their feet.
- I tried to explain to my friend the difference between a lap pool and an infinity pool. He just looked at me and said, “Sounds like a finite problem to me.”
- I used to be addicted to the pool, but then I turned myself around. Now I’m just addicted to swimming.
- I told my date I was an expert at butterfly. They were disappointed when I showed up with a net. I guess they were expecting Michael Phelps, not Mothra.
- My therapist told me to dive into my subconscious. Turns out, it’s deeper than I thought, and there’s a shark. Typical.
- Life is like a swimming pool. Shallow people will float, but deep thinkers will always find something to keep them grounded.
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite drink? Anything with electrolytes, hold the ice.
- What do you call a swimmer with a dry sense of humor? Dehydrated.
- I tried to write a song about synchronized swimming. It kept coming out all wrong, totally out of sync.
- My swimming coach is always pushing me to go the extra mile. I think he’s starting to realize it’s easier to walk around the pool.
- Being a lifeguard is easy, they said. It’s all sun and games, they said. They didn’t mention the sunscreen budget and the constant screams for “Marco!”
- Why don’t they allow elephants in public pools? They hate sharing their trunks.
- I’m starting to think my swimming instructor is secretly a pirate. Every time I do a good job, he says, “Aye, Matey!”
Swim Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Just saw a swimmer with a waterproof dictionary. He was really deep in the prose. πββοΈπ
- My friend said he wanted to swim in a pool of money. I told him that’s just shallow thinking. π°π
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato who hates to swim! π¦π₯
- Dating a competitive swimmer is exhausting. The relationship always feels like a test of endurance. ππββοΈ
- You know you’re a true swimmer when “getting in shape” means something totally different to you. πͺπ
- I’m not saying I’m a bad swimmer, but I’ve been asked to leave several aquariums. π π«
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good stroke. πΆπββοΈ
- I tried to explain to my dog that cats can’t swim, but he didn’t buy it. He said, “Yeah right, and dogs can’t fly.” πΆπ±βοΈ
- My swimming instructor keeps telling me to “be the buoy.” I think he’s lost his marbles. π€ͺπ΄
- Just saw a sign that said “Swim at your own risk.” So I asked the lifeguard, “What’s the WiFi password?” ππ±
- Me, trying to explain to my non-swimmer friend that butterfly isn’t actually flying in the water: “It’s all about the technique!” π¦π€¨
- Did you hear about the swimming pool that went bankrupt? They had too many overheads. πΈπ
- Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? He wanted to see the high dive from a different perspective. π€πͺ
- My swimming coach told me to “drink the pool.” I think he’s trying to get rid of the competition. ππ§
- I’m not sure what’s tighter, my swim cap or my social schedule after joining the swim team. πββοΈποΈ
- What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of cheese? String cheese, because it reminds them of lane lines. π§π
- My friend asked me if I liked synchronized swimming. I told him, “It’s all the same to me.” π€·ββοΈπ
- Why are swimmers such good storytellers? Because they have a lot of stroke-ries! π£οΈπββοΈ
- I’m opening a bakery near the pool. I’m calling it “The Swim Suit-able Treat.” πͺπ
- I used to be afraid of swimming, but then I realized: It’s just water under the bridge. ππ§
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