92+ Toilet Paper Jokes & Puns: Prepare to Get Rollin’! πŸ§»πŸ˜‚

ByRabia Noreen & Team

Get ready to roll with laughter, because we’re about to flush out the funniest toilet paper jokes and puns this side of the sewer system! πŸ˜‚πŸš½πŸ§» This list is the best you’ll find – it’s packed with clever humor for kids and adults alike. Get ready for some seriously funny potty humor – you’re going to be rolling on the floor (hopefully not the bathroom floor though… that could get messy)! πŸ€ͺ So, grab a roll of your favorite TP (you might need it for wiping away tears of joy!), sit back, and enjoy the potty humor parade!

Top Toilet Paper Jokes – Best Picks

  1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
  2. What’s brown and sits in a bathroom? Wrong! It’s a retired toilet paper roll.
  3. Why did the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck to a chicken!
  4. My therapist suggested I let go of what’s holding me back. Turns out, it was just the toilet paper.
  5. Why did the embarrassed toilet paper quit its job? It felt constantly flushed.
  6. I just got a job at the toilet paper factory. It’s not glamorous, but at least I have a stable income.
  7. Wife: How much of your inheritance did you spend on that fancy toilet paper? Me: None, Honey. It’s 100% financed.
  8. Toilet paper is like life. You’re either on a roll or getting your butt ripped off.
  9. Two rolls of toilet paper walk into a bar. One gets completely wasted.
  10. Ever notice how toilet paper is always so optimistic? It’s always looking forward to the futureβ€”wipes.
  11. Always remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper. It seems like it lasts forever, and then suddenly, you’re down to the last square.
  12. My friend told me he’s writing a book about toilet paper. I told him to work on his rough draft first.
  13. What does a detective and toilet paper have in common? They both deal with nasty sheets.
  14. Why is toilet paper always worried? It knows it’s about to go down the drain.
Ultimate collection of Best Toilet Paper Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever Toilet Paper Puns – Best Picks

  1. What do you call a toilet paper company’s stock value plummeting? A wipe-out! πŸ§»πŸ“‰
  2. Someone stole the toilet paper from the police station! I hear they’ve got nothing to go on. πŸš“πŸ§»
  3. Why did the mischievous toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom of things! πŸ§»πŸƒβ€β™€οΈ
  4. I met a very emotional toilet paper the other day… He was easily ripped apart. 😭🧻
  5. I tried to make a toilet paper fort, but it didn’t work… It was tearable down. 🧱🧻
  6. Why is toilet paper always getting into trouble? Because it’s constantly getting caught with its pants down! πŸ‘–πŸ§»
  7. What does a ghost use in the bathroom? Boo-ply! πŸ‘»πŸ§»
  8. I wrote a song about toilet paper… It’s a real tear-jerker. 🎢🧻
  9. Why don’t they make toilet paper out of sandpaper? It would be rough on the bottom line! πŸ’°πŸ§»
  10. What do you get when you cross a comedian with a roll of toilet paper? A wipe-your-tears-out funny act! πŸ˜‚πŸ§»
  11. They’re making a movie about toilet paper… I hear it’s going to be a real blockbuster! 🎬🧻
  12. What’s a toilet paper’s favorite dance move? The potty scoot! πŸ§»πŸ’ƒ
  13. Never start a fight with toilet paper… It always knows how to unwind! πŸ₯ŠπŸ§»
  14. Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to your bathroom, duh! It had a split-ply-second decision to make! πŸ§»πŸšΆβ€β™€οΈ
Related:Β  109+ Yoshi Jokes & Puns: You'll Say "Yoshi!" to These

Funny Toilet Paper One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Toilet Paper Jokes

  1. I tried to explain to my dog that toilet paper is single-ply, but he just gave me a blank stare.
  2. Toilet paper: Arguably the most valuable thing you’ll ever hold in your hand.
  3. Just saw a truck full of toilet paper get robbed. How bizarre–that’s highway robbery.
  4. Always remember, friends may come and go, but toilet paper sticks with you to the end.
  5. My therapist suggested I let go of what’s holding me back. Guess it’s time to ditch this empty toilet paper roll.
  6. Some people are like off-brand toilet paper–rough, ineffective, and easily falls apart.
  7. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m addicted to toilet paper. It’s a vicious cycle.
  8. My New Year’s resolution was to be less wasteful… then I realized how much toilet paper I use.
  9. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
  10. I’m writing a horror movie about toilet paper. It’s terrifying, it keeps coming back as a sequel.
  11. They say money talks… but all mine ever seems to do is buy more toilet paper.
  12. You know you’ve reached adulthood when you get excited about buying toilet paper in bulk.
  13. My biggest fear isn’t ghosts or spiders, it’s reaching for the toilet paper roll and finding it empty.
  14. Looking back, I really regret teaching my dog to fetch the toilet paper. It all went downhill from there.
  15. Toilet paper really takes β€œleaving your comfort zone” to a whole new level.

Toilet Paper QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Toilet Paper

  1. Q: Why is toilet paper always arguing? A: Because it’s constantly getting into a roll!
  2. Q: Why did the toilet paper lose its job? A: It got caught loafing around!
  3. Q: Why are ghosts bad at using toilet paper? A: It goes right through them! Boo-hoo!
  4. Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road? A: To get to the other ply!
  5. Q: Did you hear about the toilet paper factory that exploded? A: It was a real blowout!
  6. Q: What kind of music does toilet paper listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal!
  7. Q: What does toilet paper wear to a party? A: A two-ply suit!
  8. Q: Why is toilet paper so strong? A: It has incredible fiber!
  9. Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell? A: Dung!
  10. Q: What did the detective say at the crime scene when he found a single square of toilet paper? A: β€œThis changes the sheet entirely!”
  11. Q: What does a nosey pepper do in the bathroom? A: It gets jalapeΓ±o business!
  12. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth on toilet paper? A: A gummy bear!
  13. Q: Why did the toilet paper quit its job? A: It was tired of being wiped out!
Related:Β  105+ Crypt Keeper Jokes & Puns: Bone-ified Hilarity!

Dad Jokes About Toilet Paper: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
  2. What does toilet paper use to surf the internet? Google Chrome, of course!
  3. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
  4. Heard about the toilet paper factory that exploded? It was a real blowout!
  5. What do you call a luxurious toilet paper? A royal flush.
  6. My kid asked me what toilet paper is made of. I told him… β€œI don’t know, but it’s definitely not your business!”
  7. This morning I saw a truckload of toilet paper fall over… I felt really bad for the guy. That was his whole career down the drain.
  8. I bought the cheapest toilet paper I could find… Turns out it was only single-ply. That was a real rip-off!
  9. What did the toilet paper say to the hand? Hey! I’m feeling really wiped!
  10. They’re making a movie about toilet paper… I heard it’s got a really good plot.
  11. What did the detective say after examining the crime scene? β€œHmmm, this case is pretty bog-standard.”
  12. Why is toilet paper always tired? Because it gets used everyday!
  13. I tried to make a toilet paper fort the other day… But the walls kept falling down.
  14. Did you hear about the guy who invented scented toilet paper? He made a killing.

Toilet Paper Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
  2. What did the mommy toilet paper say to the baby toilet paper when it started to unravel? β€œWhere do you think you’re going? You’re just a little unwound!”
  3. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
  4. What’s the toilet paper’s favorite dance move? The potty spin!
  5. Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the other sheet!
  6. What do you call a toilet paper salesman? A roll model!
  7. If you’re feeling down, just remember: You’re worth more than a sheet!
  8. Why did the toilet paper get a promotion? It was always on a roll!
  9. What kind of music does toilet paper listen to? Anything it can stream!
  10. Why is toilet paper always getting into trouble? It’s easy to blame things on a scape-sheet!
  11. What do you get if you cross a dog with a roll of toilet paper? A watchdog that keeps an eye on your behind!
  12. Never tell a toilet paper a secret. They’re always getting passed around!

Toilet Paper Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. You know you’re getting old when the most exciting thing you steal from a hotel is the toilet paper. It used to be the bathrobe, but those don’t fit over my compression socks anymore!
  2. I told my doctor I think I’m allergic to toilet paper. He said, β€œWell, don’t tell anybody. They’ll think you’re an ahole.”
  3. My retirement plan is basically a roll of toilet paper. Every year it gets smaller and smaller, and I still don’t know what I’m doing with it.
  4. Remember when toilet paper used to be two-ply? Those were the good old days, back when we had things like job security and knees that didn’t crackle.
  5. My grandkids wanted to know what I used before the internet. I showed them a roll of toilet paper and said, β€œThis was Google, Facebook, and Twitter all rolled into one!”
  6. What’s the difference between toilet paper and politicians? You can actually get a politician to change their mind once in a while.
  7. My doctor told me I need to reduce stress in my life. So now, instead of folding my toilet paper, I just scrunch it. Rebellious, I know.
  8. They say money talks… but all mine ever says is β€œgoodbye” – usually at the supermarket when I’m stocking up on toilet paper and prune juice.
  9. I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet this morning. Good news is, at least I know it’s not afraid of going down the drain. Bad news is, now I need to buy more rice. And toilet paper. Always need more toilet paper.
  10. I saw a sign that said β€œToilet Paper: Now Twice as Strong!” I thought, β€œGood, now I only need half as much.” But then I remembered… I’m retired. I have plenty of time.
  11. My grandkids ask me what the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020 was like. I just stare at them blankly for a minute and whisper, β€œYou have no idea the horrors we witnessed…”
  12. Why does it feel so good to use the first sheet of a fresh roll of toilet paper? Because you earned it, kid. You earned it.
Related:  90+ Challah-rious Puns and Jokes: Loaf-ing Through Humor 🍞🀣

Toilet Paper Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I hugged a roll of single-ply toilet paper. We all have our issues. 🧻😩
  2. What’s the most patient kind of paper? Toilet paper. It never loses its sheet. πŸ§˜πŸ§»πŸ˜‚
  3. People who stockpile toilet paper really need to unwind. πŸ™ƒπŸ§»
  4. Can’t believe toilet paper still comes in rolls. In this economy? They should at least cut the sheets. ΡΠΊΠΎΠ½ΠΎΠΌΠΈΠΊΠ°πŸ§»πŸ’°
  5. Just saw a ghost using the last of the toilet paper. Guess you could say he’s rollin’ with it. πŸ‘»πŸ§»πŸ’€
  6. New dating app idea: Tinder, but for toilet paper. It’s called Plymates. πŸ’–πŸ§»πŸ“±
  7. β€œWhat are you doing with all that toilet paper?” β€œOh, you know, just building a strong portfolio.” πŸ’ͺπŸ§»πŸ“ˆ
  8. Single-ply toilet paper is like bad advice. You’re going to regret taking it. πŸ˜”πŸ§»
  9. If you could have dinner with any historical figure, but you had to share a single square of toilet paper, who would you choose? Asking for a friend. πŸ€”πŸ§»πŸš½
  10. What do you call a bear with no toilet paper? A bare behind! πŸ»πŸ§»πŸ˜†
  11. My love for you is like a roll of toilet paper – it’s meant to be long and strong! πŸ’–πŸ§»πŸ’ͺ (Disclaimer: might not work as a pick-up line)
  12. Toilet paper and I have a love-hate relationship. I can’t live with it, and I certainly can’t live without it. πŸ’”πŸ§»πŸ˜…
  13. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m hooked on hoarding toilet paper. πŸ’ƒπŸ§»πŸ•Ί Pro Tip: Sharing these with a funny picture or GIF will take your social media game to the next level! πŸ‘πŸŽ‰

That’s All, Folks! Time to Flush These Jokes Away! πŸš½πŸ˜‚

Well, there you have it! We’ve wiped the floor (or should we say, β€œbowl”?) clean with these 92+ toilet paper jokes and puns. We hope these rolls of laughter have kept you entertained. But don’t stop here! For more side-splitting puns and jokes that are anything but crappy, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. You won’t be disappointed!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

Similar Posts