92+ Toilet Paper Jokes & Puns: Prepare to Get Rollin’! 🧻😂
Get ready to roll with laughter, because we’re about to flush out the funniest toilet paper jokes and puns this side of the sewer system! 😂🚽🧻 This list is the best you’ll find – it’s packed with clever humor for kids and adults alike. Get ready for some seriously funny potty humor – you’re going to be rolling on the floor (hopefully not the bathroom floor though… that could get messy)! 🤪 So, grab a roll of your favorite TP (you might need it for wiping away tears of joy!), sit back, and enjoy the potty humor parade!
Top Toilet Paper Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- What’s brown and sits in a bathroom? Wrong! It’s a retired toilet paper roll.
- Why did the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck to a chicken!
- My therapist suggested I let go of what’s holding me back. Turns out, it was just the toilet paper.
- Why did the embarrassed toilet paper quit its job? It felt constantly flushed.
- I just got a job at the toilet paper factory. It’s not glamorous, but at least I have a stable income.
- Wife: How much of your inheritance did you spend on that fancy toilet paper? Me: None, Honey. It’s 100% financed.
- Toilet paper is like life. You’re either on a roll or getting your butt ripped off.
- Two rolls of toilet paper walk into a bar. One gets completely wasted.
- Ever notice how toilet paper is always so optimistic? It’s always looking forward to the future—wipes.
- Always remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper. It seems like it lasts forever, and then suddenly, you’re down to the last square.
- My friend told me he’s writing a book about toilet paper. I told him to work on his rough draft first.
- What does a detective and toilet paper have in common? They both deal with nasty sheets.
- Why is toilet paper always worried? It knows it’s about to go down the drain.
Clever Toilet Paper Puns – Best Picks
- What do you call a toilet paper company’s stock value plummeting? A wipe-out! 🧻📉
- Someone stole the toilet paper from the police station! I hear they’ve got nothing to go on. 🚓🧻
- Why did the mischievous toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom of things! 🧻🏃♀️
- I met a very emotional toilet paper the other day… He was easily ripped apart. 😭🧻
- I tried to make a toilet paper fort, but it didn’t work… It was tearable down. 🧱🧻
- Why is toilet paper always getting into trouble? Because it’s constantly getting caught with its pants down! 👖🧻
- What does a ghost use in the bathroom? Boo-ply! 👻🧻
- I wrote a song about toilet paper… It’s a real tear-jerker. 🎶🧻
- Why don’t they make toilet paper out of sandpaper? It would be rough on the bottom line! 💰🧻
- What do you get when you cross a comedian with a roll of toilet paper? A wipe-your-tears-out funny act! 😂🧻
- They’re making a movie about toilet paper… I hear it’s going to be a real blockbuster! 🎬🧻
- What’s a toilet paper’s favorite dance move? The potty scoot! 🧻💃
- Never start a fight with toilet paper… It always knows how to unwind! 🥊🧻
- Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to your bathroom, duh! It had a split-ply-second decision to make! 🧻🚶♀️
Funny Toilet Paper One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Toilet Paper Jokes
- I tried to explain to my dog that toilet paper is single-ply, but he just gave me a blank stare.
- Toilet paper: Arguably the most valuable thing you’ll ever hold in your hand.
- Just saw a truck full of toilet paper get robbed. How bizarre–that’s highway robbery.
- Always remember, friends may come and go, but toilet paper sticks with you to the end.
- My therapist suggested I let go of what’s holding me back. Guess it’s time to ditch this empty toilet paper roll.
- Some people are like off-brand toilet paper–rough, ineffective, and easily falls apart.
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m addicted to toilet paper. It’s a vicious cycle.
- My New Year’s resolution was to be less wasteful… then I realized how much toilet paper I use.
- Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
- I’m writing a horror movie about toilet paper. It’s terrifying, it keeps coming back as a sequel.
- They say money talks… but all mine ever seems to do is buy more toilet paper.
- You know you’ve reached adulthood when you get excited about buying toilet paper in bulk.
- My biggest fear isn’t ghosts or spiders, it’s reaching for the toilet paper roll and finding it empty.
- Looking back, I really regret teaching my dog to fetch the toilet paper. It all went downhill from there.
- Toilet paper really takes “leaving your comfort zone” to a whole new level.
Toilet Paper QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Toilet Paper
- Q: Why is toilet paper always arguing? A: Because it’s constantly getting into a roll!
- Q: Why did the toilet paper lose its job? A: It got caught loafing around!
- Q: Why are ghosts bad at using toilet paper? A: It goes right through them! Boo-hoo!
- Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road? A: To get to the other ply!
- Q: Did you hear about the toilet paper factory that exploded? A: It was a real blowout!
- Q: What kind of music does toilet paper listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal!
- Q: What does toilet paper wear to a party? A: A two-ply suit!
- Q: Why is toilet paper so strong? A: It has incredible fiber!
- Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell? A: Dung!
- Q: What did the detective say at the crime scene when he found a single square of toilet paper? A: “This changes the sheet entirely!”
- Q: What does a nosey pepper do in the bathroom? A: It gets jalapeño business!
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth on toilet paper? A: A gummy bear!
- Q: Why did the toilet paper quit its job? A: It was tired of being wiped out!
Dad Jokes About Toilet Paper: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
- What does toilet paper use to surf the internet? Google Chrome, of course!
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- Heard about the toilet paper factory that exploded? It was a real blowout!
- What do you call a luxurious toilet paper? A royal flush.
- My kid asked me what toilet paper is made of. I told him… “I don’t know, but it’s definitely not your business!”
- This morning I saw a truckload of toilet paper fall over… I felt really bad for the guy. That was his whole career down the drain.
- I bought the cheapest toilet paper I could find… Turns out it was only single-ply. That was a real rip-off!
- What did the toilet paper say to the hand? Hey! I’m feeling really wiped!
- They’re making a movie about toilet paper… I heard it’s got a really good plot.
- What did the detective say after examining the crime scene? “Hmmm, this case is pretty bog-standard.”
- Why is toilet paper always tired? Because it gets used everyday!
- I tried to make a toilet paper fort the other day… But the walls kept falling down.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented scented toilet paper? He made a killing.
Toilet Paper Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- What did the mommy toilet paper say to the baby toilet paper when it started to unravel? “Where do you think you’re going? You’re just a little unwound!”
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
- What’s the toilet paper’s favorite dance move? The potty spin!
- Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the other sheet!
- What do you call a toilet paper salesman? A roll model!
- If you’re feeling down, just remember: You’re worth more than a sheet!
- Why did the toilet paper get a promotion? It was always on a roll!
- What kind of music does toilet paper listen to? Anything it can stream!
- Why is toilet paper always getting into trouble? It’s easy to blame things on a scape-sheet!
- What do you get if you cross a dog with a roll of toilet paper? A watchdog that keeps an eye on your behind!
- Never tell a toilet paper a secret. They’re always getting passed around!
Toilet Paper Jokes and Puns for Elders
- You know you’re getting old when the most exciting thing you steal from a hotel is the toilet paper. It used to be the bathrobe, but those don’t fit over my compression socks anymore!
- I told my doctor I think I’m allergic to toilet paper. He said, “Well, don’t tell anybody. They’ll think you’re an ahole.”
- My retirement plan is basically a roll of toilet paper. Every year it gets smaller and smaller, and I still don’t know what I’m doing with it.
- Remember when toilet paper used to be two-ply? Those were the good old days, back when we had things like job security and knees that didn’t crackle.
- My grandkids wanted to know what I used before the internet. I showed them a roll of toilet paper and said, “This was Google, Facebook, and Twitter all rolled into one!”
- What’s the difference between toilet paper and politicians? You can actually get a politician to change their mind once in a while.
- My doctor told me I need to reduce stress in my life. So now, instead of folding my toilet paper, I just scrunch it. Rebellious, I know.
- They say money talks… but all mine ever says is “goodbye” – usually at the supermarket when I’m stocking up on toilet paper and prune juice.
- I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet this morning. Good news is, at least I know it’s not afraid of going down the drain. Bad news is, now I need to buy more rice. And toilet paper. Always need more toilet paper.
- I saw a sign that said “Toilet Paper: Now Twice as Strong!” I thought, “Good, now I only need half as much.” But then I remembered… I’m retired. I have plenty of time.
- My grandkids ask me what the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020 was like. I just stare at them blankly for a minute and whisper, “You have no idea the horrors we witnessed…”
- Why does it feel so good to use the first sheet of a fresh roll of toilet paper? Because you earned it, kid. You earned it.
Toilet Paper Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I hugged a roll of single-ply toilet paper. We all have our issues. 🧻😩
- What’s the most patient kind of paper? Toilet paper. It never loses its sheet. 🧘🧻😂
- People who stockpile toilet paper really need to unwind. 🙃🧻
- Can’t believe toilet paper still comes in rolls. In this economy? They should at least cut the sheets. экономика🧻💰
- Just saw a ghost using the last of the toilet paper. Guess you could say he’s rollin’ with it. 👻🧻💀
- New dating app idea: Tinder, but for toilet paper. It’s called Plymates. 💖🧻📱
- “What are you doing with all that toilet paper?” “Oh, you know, just building a strong portfolio.” 💪🧻📈
- Single-ply toilet paper is like bad advice. You’re going to regret taking it. 😔🧻
- If you could have dinner with any historical figure, but you had to share a single square of toilet paper, who would you choose? Asking for a friend. 🤔🧻🚽
- What do you call a bear with no toilet paper? A bare behind! 🐻🧻😆
- My love for you is like a roll of toilet paper – it’s meant to be long and strong! 💖🧻💪 (Disclaimer: might not work as a pick-up line)
- Toilet paper and I have a love-hate relationship. I can’t live with it, and I certainly can’t live without it. 💔🧻😅
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m hooked on hoarding toilet paper. 💃🧻🕺 Pro Tip: Sharing these with a funny picture or GIF will take your social media game to the next level! 👍🎉
That’s All, Folks! Time to Flush These Jokes Away! 🚽😂
Well, there you have it! We’ve wiped the floor (or should we say, “bowl”?) clean with these 92+ toilet paper jokes and puns. We hope these rolls of laughter have kept you entertained. But don’t stop here! For more side-splitting puns and jokes that are anything but crappy, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. You won’t be disappointed!
