98+ Tissue Puns & Jokes: You’ll Snot Be Disappointed!

Get ready to ROFL with the best tissue jokes on the internet! 😂 This list of puns and funny quips about everyone’s favorite snot-stopping squares is sure to get you laughing. We’ve got humor for kids and clever puns that will tickle even the most discerning funny bone. Get ready for some tear-inducing laughter (but don’t worry, we have tissues for that 😉)!

Top Tissue Jokes – Best Picks

  1. Why did the tissue cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken! 🤧
  2. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of tissue? Boo-hoo-ny! 👻
  3. I met a tissue at a party last night, but he wouldn’t talk to me. He said he felt a little rough around the edges. 😔
  4. What do you call a stack of used tissues that can solve mysteries? Evidence snot to be ignored. 🕵️‍♀️
  5. Did you hear about the tissue that won an award? It was an honor well-deserved. 🏆
  6. I tried to make a tissue dance for me earlier. It just blew me off. 🌬️💃
  7. Why are tissues always getting lost in the laundry? They’re always paired with socks, and everyone knows socks vanish! 🤷‍♀️🧦
  8. I was feeling under the weather, so my doctor prescribed me some tissues. He said I needed to take them whenever I felt a sneeze coming on: “One tissue, three times a sneeze.” 🤧
  9. What’s a kleenex’s biggest fear? Running out of tissues! 🧻😱
  10. I tried to explain to my dog why she shouldn’t eat tissues, but it just went in one ear and… Well, you know. 👂🐶
  11. Feeling stressed? Just remember: No problem is too big for a tissue… to completely fail to solve. 😌😌😌
  12. Life is like a box of tissues. You take one thing for granted, and then they’re all gone! 😭
  13. Why are tissues so good at poker? Because they always have an ace up their sleeve (box)! 😎🃏
Ultimate collection of Best Tissue Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever Tissue Puns – Best Picks

  1. My doctor told me to take this medication with a soft tissue. Seems kinda sus, but okay… 🤨
  2. Feeling down in the dumps because you ran out of tissues? Don’t worry, I find them to be entirely snot essential. 😉
  3. Heard they’re making a movie about tissues. The working title is “Pulp Fiction.” 🎥
  4. Did you hear about the tissue that won an award? It was an honor to be nominated, but it won for its absorbency.🏆
  5. I used to be a tissue salesman, but I couldn’t hack it. It was too much pressure. 😩
  6. Just saw a commercial for tissues that are twice as soft. They’re advertising them as “double-ply awesome!” 🤩
  7. Why did the tissue cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken! …Get it? Because it’s paper? 🐓
  8. Tissues may be disposable, but their sense of humor is tearable! 🤣
  9. My friend said his dream job is to write slogans for a tissue brand. I guess you could say he’s got big goals. 📝
  10. Why are tissues so good at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve! Get it? Sleeve…? ♠️
  11. What’s a tissue’s favorite genre of music? Blues! 🎶
  12. I’m writing a song about tissues. It’s a real tear-jerker. 😭

Funny Tissue One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Tissue Jokes

  1. I tried to make a tower out of tissues. It was a snotty experience.
  2. Did you hear about the tissue factory that went out of business? They ran out of issue.
  3. I just met a Kleenex who won the lottery. Now he’s a rich tissue.
  4. My friend tried to start a tissue company, but it folded.
  5. Never ask a tissue what’s wrong. They’ll always give you the same old issue.
  6. I sneezed so hard I blew my nose in a tissue of lies!
  7. Life is like a box of tissues: You pull one out, tear up, and then you need another one.
  8. I got fired from my job at the tissue factory. Apparently, I had a blowing problem.
  9. You know what they say: Don’t cry over spilled milk, grab a tissue!
  10. A tissue’s favorite sport? Basket-bawl.

Tissue QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tissue

  1. Q: What did the allergy-ridden ghost buy at the store? A: A boo-box of tissues.
  2. Q: Why did the tissue break up with the toilet paper? A: It said their relationship was going down the drain.
  3. Q: What’s a tissue’s least favorite food? A: Snot-chos!
  4. Q: Where do tissues dance? A: At a boog-gie.
  5. Q: What do you call a really strong tissue? A: A snot-buster!
  6. Q: Why was the tissue paper afraid of the dark? A: Because it kept having paper nightmares!
  7. Q: What did the little tissue say to the big tissue? A: Hey! I’m coming up in the world!
  8. Q: Did you hear about the tissue who won an award? A: It was an honorary handkerchief!
  9. Q: What kind of music do tissues listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal – they hate tearing up!
  10. Q: What’s a tissue’s favorite sport? A: Baseb-all!
  11. Q: Why did the tissue cross the road? A: To prove it wasn’t chicken! (Even though it is a little fowl sometimes…)
  12. Q: What do you call a tissue that’s been used as a stress ball? A: A crumby situation!

Dad Jokes About Tissue: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. Did you hear about the tissue factory that exploded? It was a total blow out.
  2. Why did the tissue cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a little wimp.
  3. What do you call a box of tissues that’s really understanding? Empa-thetic.
  4. My doctor told me to have a good cry to relieve stress. I guess you could say I’m on a tissue-fueled therapy plan.
  5. Why are tissues always invited to parties? Because they’re great at breaking the ice!
  6. I just bought this amazing new box of tissues… They’re tear-proof! Now I can cry all I want and no one will ever know.
  7. I tried to explain to my son that a tissue is not a toy. He just blew me off.
  8. I accidentally put my tissues in the washing machine with my camouflage pants. Now I can’t find them!
  9. My kid wanted to know why tissues are so important. I told him, “They’re always there for you, no matter how snotty you get.”
  10. You know you’re in trouble when even the tissues are saying, “Weep not!”
  11. What’s a tissue’s least favorite genre of music? Heavy metal.

Tissue Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the tissue dance? Because it got caught in the wind!
  2. What did one tissue say to the other tissue? Let’s stick together!
  3. Why did the tissue cross the road? To get to the snother side! 🤧
  4. What’s a tissue’s favorite game? Tag, you’re it!
  5. My nose is always running, it must be late! Better check my tissue for the time! ⌚
  6. What did the teacher say when she saw the ripped tissue? “That’s tear-able!” 😭
  7. What kind of music do tissues listen to? Pop music! 🎶
  8. Why was the tissue sad? It was feeling a bit run down. 😔
  9. What does a tissue use to surf the internet? A fire-wall! 🔥💻
  10. How did the tissue get to school? On the school bu-snot!
  11. What’s a tissue’s favorite sport? Basket-bawl! 🏀
  12. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tissue. Tissue who? Tissue be you, I’m so happy! 😄
  13. My dad gave me a box of tissues for my birthday… I guess he thought it was a practical gift! 🎁
  14. What does a tissue do when it’s cold? It puts on a sweater-snot! 🧣
  15. Why are tissues so strong? Because they can hold your tears when you’re feeling blue! 💙

Tissue Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. Why did the elder refuse the tissue at the funeral? They said, “At my age, why bother? Let it all hang out!”
  2. My doctor told me I have “paper skin.” I said, “What does that even mean?” He said, “It’s very tissue.”
  3. They say crying is good for you. It releases toxins. At this rate, I should be the least toxic person on the planet. Anyone have a tissue?
  4. Why am I always losing my tissues? Must be all this senior discount sneezing!
  5. I joined a support group for people who are addicted to buying tissues… We meet every week. Boxes and boxes of them. It’s kind of an issue.
  6. Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy lotion-infused tissues… We used newspaper. It was rough, but it built character!
  7. You know you’re getting old when… You can’t remember if you came to the bathroom to go or to grab another tissue.
  8. My grandkids are always asking me to tell them about the ‘good old days’… So I start by handing them a handkerchief and saying, “Let’s talk tissues.”
  9. Doctor: “I’m afraid I have some bad news…” Me: (Reaches for tissues preemptively) “Just give it to me straight, doc.” Doctor: “You have a cold.”
  10. I saw a sign that said, “Tissues, $500.” I thought, “Man, inflation is really hitting everyone hard!” Turns out, it was the price of the box of tissues… at an antique store.
  11. My friend told me I should invest in tissues. “The market is always going up,” he said. I told him, “I’m pretty sure Kleenex doesn’t have an IPO, but thanks for the financial advice.”
  12. Why don’t they make tissues out of velvet? Because then they’d be too fancy to use!

Tissue Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. I tried to make a business out of selling tissues infused with healing crystals… It folded.
  2. Why did the tissue cross the road? To get to the other side! 🤧
  3. You know, I used to be afraid of used tissues… But then I realized, it’s all just snot that scary.
  4. What’s a tissue’s favorite music genre? R&”B”lows! 🎶
  5. Did you hear about the detective who specialized in tissue-related crimes? He had a real knack for solving plywood puzzles. 🕵️
  6. My friend’s always using my tissues. It’s such a blow to my supplies. I should really start charging rent…per sheet.
  7. Just saw a tissue box walking down the street… I guess you could say it was mobile. 🚶
  8. Tried to explain to my dog why he can’t have my used tissue…He just gave me this look like, “It’s already been pre-chewed for your convenience!” 🐶
  9. My resolution this year is to use fewer tissues. So far, I think I’ve blown it.
  10. Who’s the most famous philosopher who used tissues? Socrates! Because he was always asking “Why?” 🦉
  11. I’m writing a children’s book about a little tissue named Timmy. He gets lost in the laundry and ends up going on all sorts of fabric adventures! 🧺
  12. What did the tissue say to the nose? “Hey, we need to have a little talk.” 🤔

That’s all, folks! Blew through these tissue jokes yet? 🤧

We hope these tissue jokes and puns didn’t leave you feeling too wiped out! If you’re still searching for more chuckle-worthy content, don’t blow it! Explore the rest of our punny website for even more hilarious jokes and puns that’ll leave you in stitches (not the kind you need a tissue for, of course).

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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