98+ Kleenex Jokes & Puns: You’ll Sneeze With Laughter!

🤧🧻 Get ready to chuckle with the best Kleenex jokes and puns around! This list of funny wordplay is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good laugh (or groan 😂). We’ve got enough clever humor to fill a whole tissue box, so get ready for some seriously funny business! 🤧🧻

Clever Kleenex Puns – Top Picks

  1. Feeling emotional? I’m here for you, tissue and through.
  2. Allergy season? Time to tissue up on supplies!
  3. This comedian is amazing, a real Kleenex-pert!
  4. That movie was so sad, it was a Kleenex-cessity!
  5. Need a good cry? Here’s a tissue to cry on.
  6. Caught a cold? I’m here to lend a tissue- literally!
  7. My doctor’s handwriting is so bad, I need a Kleenex to decipher it.
  8. I’m so broke, I’m down to my last tissue.
  9. My love for you is like a Kleenex box – overflowing!
  10. That story was so moving, it really tissue-ched my heart.
  11. Life’s a journey, pack a Kleenex.
Ultimate collection of Best Kleenex Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Top Kleenex Jokes – Best Picks

  1. I tried to come up with a pun about Kleenex, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Oh well, I guess it’ll just have to remain unsaid…
  2. My friend said I have an unhealthy obsession with Kleenex. I told him to quit being so snotty!
  3. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m just addicted to Kleenex.
  4. Did you hear about the Kleenex factory worker who lost his job? He got caught blowing his nose on company time!
  5. My doctor told me I need to take these pills with a box of Kleenex. Seems like pretty strong medication if you ask me!
  6. Why are Kleenex boxes so optimistic? Because they’re always looking up, even when they’re feeling a little blue!
  7. What do you call a Kleenex that just won’t quit? A real tear-jerker!
  8. My therapist told me to let go of the things that upset me. So, I threw out my last box of Kleenex. Bad idea.
  9. You know what they say about Kleenex… Easy come, easy blow.
  10. I saw a man selling tissues for $100 a pop! I told him, “That’s outrageous! What kind of Kleenex are they?” He said, “Pocket tissues.”
  11. What’s the difference between Kleenex and a calendar? You can discard a Kleenex after it’s used up!
  12. I saw a man walking down the street with a box of Kleenex under each arm. I asked him, “Hey, got a cold?” He said, “Nope, just stocking up. They’re on sale – two snot, one free!”
  13. I tried to write a song about Kleenex, but it kept coming out sappy. I guess it was just too emotional for me.
Related:  145+ Beard Puns & Jokes: Hair-larious Facial Fun!

Funny Kleenex One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Kleenex Jokes

  1. My therapist told me to let go of what’s bothering me. I guess I should let go of this Kleenex box then.
  2. Kleenex: For when you find out your date’s idea of “Netflix & Chill” is literally watching Netflix and chilling.
  3. Did you hear about the Kleenex factory worker who lost his job? He got caught stealing tissues!
  4. I sneezed so hard I blew my nose, but luckily I had Kleenex to catch it. Oh wait, that’s what it’s for…
  5. My friend said Kleenex is a liquid asset. I told him to quit while he was a head.
  6. Apparently, Kleenex tissues are like relationships. One minute they’re there for you, the next they’re in shreds.
  7. I wanted to make a tower out of Kleenex boxes, but it was just too snot-tainable.
  8. Never tell a secret in a room full of Kleenex boxes. They’re real tear-jerkers.
  9. Did you hear about the new Kleenex fragrance? It smells like victory…or maybe just menthol.
  10. Kleenex: Essential for allergy season, horror movies, and breakups. Not necessarily in that order.
  11. My doctor told me to take these pills with a soft tissue. I guess he’s never heard of Kleenex.
  12. I went to the bank to take out a loan using my Kleenex stock as collateral. They said it was too risky.
  13. Kleenex: For when you laugh, cry, or sneeze. Basically, for when you’re human.

Kleenex QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Kleenex

  1. Q: Why did the Kleenex win an award? A: For being exceptionally absorbency-minded!
  2. Q: How do you fix a broken Kleenex dispenser? A: With a little tissue paper and cry.
  3. Q: What’s a Kleenex’s favorite genre of music? A: Snot-so-classical.
  4. Q: Why did the Kleenex get embarrassed? A: It saw the toilet paper roll and felt easily flapped.
  5. Q: What do you call a sad strawberry wiping its nose? A: A berry Kleenex moment.
  6. Q: Why are Kleenex always invited to parties? A: They’re great at breaking the ice! (or wiping up spills!)
  7. Q: How did the Kleenex feel after a workout? A: Wiped out!
  8. Q: What did the Kleenex say to the nose? A: “Hey there, we need to have a little tissue-to-tissue.”
  9. Q: What did the sassy Kleenex say? A: “Blow me!”
  10. Q: What’s a Kleenex’s favorite board game? A: Sorry! (Get it? Because they’re always cleaning up spills?)
  11. Q: Why don’t Kleenex tell secrets? A: They’re always getting used and thrown away.
  12. Q: What do you get if you cross a Kleenex and a sheep? A: A woolly snot-catcher!
  13. Q: Did you hear about the Kleenex factory that blew up? A: There wasn’t a dry eye in the house!
  14. Q: What’s a Kleenex’s biggest fear? A: A nose ring.
Related:  98+ Crunchy Granola Bar Jokes & Puns to Snack On

Dad Jokes About Kleenex: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I used to be a kleenex spokesperson, but then I got caught lying about how soft the tissues were. Turns out, I wasn’t very Kleenex-cellent at my job!
  2. Did you hear about the kleenex that went to art school? It really knows how to tissue paper!
  3. Why did the kleenex cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken, of course!
  4. What do you call a kleenex filled with helium? A snot rocket!
  5. I bought the world’s strongest kleenex… It’s tear-resistant!
  6. What’s a kleenex’s favorite movie genre? Tear-jerkers, naturally.
  7. Why are kleenex so good at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve!
  8. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a room full of kleenex boxes? Because they’re always blowing things out of proportion!
  9. Did you hear about the kleenex factory that exploded? It was a real blow!
  10. Kleenex are like good advice: They’re easy to pass around!
  11. What’s the most emotional part of a plant? The tissue, duh!
  12. I saw a kleenex box at the gym today… Must’ve been there to catch some zzz’s!

Kleenex Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the Kleenex lose its job? Because it kept getting all snotty!
  2. What did the mama Kleenex say to her messy kid? “You’re really blowing it!”
  3. What’s a Kleenex’s favorite game to play? Tag! You’re it!
  4. Why did the Kleenex cross the road? To get to the boo-hoo-hoo-tel!
  5. What did the Kleenex wear to the party? A tissue paper dress!
  6. What does a Kleenex say when it sneezes? “Excuse me, myself!”
  7. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tissue. Tissue who? Tissue be you, but it’s not!
  8. Why are Kleenex always invited to parties? They’re real tear-jerkers!
  9. What did the Kleenex say to the nose? “Hey! We should hang out sometime!”
  10. Why don’t Kleenex tell secrets? They have too many plies!
  11. Did you hear about the Kleenex factory? Business is going up!
  12. What do you call a magical Kleenex? A tissue-dabra!
  13. What’s a Kleenex’s favorite school subject? Math, because they love multi-ply!
  14. What do you get if you cross a Kleenex with a sheep? A boo-hoo-hoo-lamb!

Kleenex Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. My retirement plan is like a Kleenex box… Getting increasingly empty and causing me to tear up every time I look at it.
  2. I used to work in a Kleenex factory, but I got fired… Apparently, I was always blowing my nose on company time.
  3. I saw a man carrying a sign that said, “Honk if you love Kleenex!” It’s good to see someone passionate about their tissues.
  4. My doctor told me I have a severe allergy to artificial tears… Guess I’ll have to stick with the genuine Kleenex brand.
  5. You know you’re getting old when… You remember when a box of Kleenex cost a nickel and could cure any emotional crisis.
  6. My therapist told me to embrace my emotions… So I bought a family-sized box of Kleenex.
  7. Dating at my age is like trying to find a pristine Kleenex… In a used tissue dispenser.
  8. My grandkids asked me what “vinyl” is… I told them it’s what we used to store our Kleenex before plastic.
  9. Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy lotions for our noses… Just good old-fashioned Kleenex and a dab of Vaseline.
  10. My memory is getting so bad… Sometimes I forget if I used a Kleenex or just blew my nose on my sleeve.
  11. I tried to explain to my grandkids that Kleenex used to come in colors other than white… They looked at me like I had two heads.
  12. I’m at that age where I consider a fresh box of Kleenex to be… A luxury item.
  13. My doctor told me to cut back on sodium… Guess I’ll have to start using those low-salt Kleenex.
  14. You know your grandkids are spoiled when… They ask for a Kleenex instead of using their sleeve like a normal human being.
Related:  99+ Colon Puns: Jokes That Are Gut-Bustingly Funny

Kleenex Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. My therapist told me to let go of what’s bothering me. Big mistake. Now I can’t find my Kleenex. 🤧
  2. “Kleenex? More like Clee-never-have-enough-when-I-need-them-ex,” sobbed the allergy sufferer dramatically.
  3. What’s a tissue’s biggest fear? Getting ripped off! 🧻
  4. Just saw a Kleenex box at the gym. Must be for snotty comments. 💪
  5. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Now, I’m hooked on Kleenex. Those tissues really got ahold of me. 🎶
  6. My friend said she started a tissue business. Seems like a pretty tearable business model. 💰
  7. You know you’ve reached peak adulthood when you get excited about buying a new box of Kleenex. 😩
  8. Why did the Kleenex cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken! 🐔
  9. My New Year’s resolution was to be less negative. Lasted until I opened a new Kleenex box and pulled out two tissues at once. 🤬
  10. What did the sentimental Kleenex say to its box after being pulled out? “I’ll never let go!” 😭
  11. I accidentally put my credit card in the washing machine. Good thing I had a Kleenex on hand to finance the tears. 💳 😭
  12. I’m writing a book about Kleenex. It’s going to be a real tear-jerker. 📖
Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

Similar Posts