98+ Kleenex Jokes & Puns: You’ll Sneeze With Laughter!
🤧🧻 Get ready to chuckle with the best Kleenex jokes and puns around! This list of funny wordplay is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good laugh (or groan 😂). We’ve got enough clever humor to fill a whole tissue box, so get ready for some seriously funny business! 🤧🧻
Clever Kleenex Puns – Top Picks
- Feeling emotional? I’m here for you, tissue and through.
- Allergy season? Time to tissue up on supplies!
- This comedian is amazing, a real Kleenex-pert!
- That movie was so sad, it was a Kleenex-cessity!
- Need a good cry? Here’s a tissue to cry on.
- Caught a cold? I’m here to lend a tissue- literally!
- My doctor’s handwriting is so bad, I need a Kleenex to decipher it.
- I’m so broke, I’m down to my last tissue.
- My love for you is like a Kleenex box – overflowing!
- That story was so moving, it really tissue-ched my heart.
- Life’s a journey, pack a Kleenex.

Top Kleenex Jokes – Best Picks
- I tried to come up with a pun about Kleenex, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Oh well, I guess it’ll just have to remain unsaid…
- My friend said I have an unhealthy obsession with Kleenex. I told him to quit being so snotty!
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now, I’m just addicted to Kleenex.
- Did you hear about the Kleenex factory worker who lost his job? He got caught blowing his nose on company time!
- My doctor told me I need to take these pills with a box of Kleenex. Seems like pretty strong medication if you ask me!
- Why are Kleenex boxes so optimistic? Because they’re always looking up, even when they’re feeling a little blue!
- What do you call a Kleenex that just won’t quit? A real tear-jerker!
- My therapist told me to let go of the things that upset me. So, I threw out my last box of Kleenex. Bad idea.
- You know what they say about Kleenex… Easy come, easy blow.
- I saw a man selling tissues for $100 a pop! I told him, “That’s outrageous! What kind of Kleenex are they?” He said, “Pocket tissues.”
- What’s the difference between Kleenex and a calendar? You can discard a Kleenex after it’s used up!
- I saw a man walking down the street with a box of Kleenex under each arm. I asked him, “Hey, got a cold?” He said, “Nope, just stocking up. They’re on sale – two snot, one free!”
- I tried to write a song about Kleenex, but it kept coming out sappy. I guess it was just too emotional for me.
Funny Kleenex One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Kleenex Jokes
- My therapist told me to let go of what’s bothering me. I guess I should let go of this Kleenex box then.
- Kleenex: For when you find out your date’s idea of “Netflix & Chill” is literally watching Netflix and chilling.
- Did you hear about the Kleenex factory worker who lost his job? He got caught stealing tissues!
- I sneezed so hard I blew my nose, but luckily I had Kleenex to catch it. Oh wait, that’s what it’s for…
- My friend said Kleenex is a liquid asset. I told him to quit while he was a head.
- Apparently, Kleenex tissues are like relationships. One minute they’re there for you, the next they’re in shreds.
- I wanted to make a tower out of Kleenex boxes, but it was just too snot-tainable.
- Never tell a secret in a room full of Kleenex boxes. They’re real tear-jerkers.
- Did you hear about the new Kleenex fragrance? It smells like victory…or maybe just menthol.
- Kleenex: Essential for allergy season, horror movies, and breakups. Not necessarily in that order.
- My doctor told me to take these pills with a soft tissue. I guess he’s never heard of Kleenex.
- I went to the bank to take out a loan using my Kleenex stock as collateral. They said it was too risky.
- Kleenex: For when you laugh, cry, or sneeze. Basically, for when you’re human.
Kleenex QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Kleenex
- Q: Why did the Kleenex win an award? A: For being exceptionally absorbency-minded!
- Q: How do you fix a broken Kleenex dispenser? A: With a little tissue paper and cry.
- Q: What’s a Kleenex’s favorite genre of music? A: Snot-so-classical.
- Q: Why did the Kleenex get embarrassed? A: It saw the toilet paper roll and felt easily flapped.
- Q: What do you call a sad strawberry wiping its nose? A: A berry Kleenex moment.
- Q: Why are Kleenex always invited to parties? A: They’re great at breaking the ice! (or wiping up spills!)
- Q: How did the Kleenex feel after a workout? A: Wiped out!
- Q: What did the Kleenex say to the nose? A: “Hey there, we need to have a little tissue-to-tissue.”
- Q: What did the sassy Kleenex say? A: “Blow me!”
- Q: What’s a Kleenex’s favorite board game? A: Sorry! (Get it? Because they’re always cleaning up spills?)
- Q: Why don’t Kleenex tell secrets? A: They’re always getting used and thrown away.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a Kleenex and a sheep? A: A woolly snot-catcher!
- Q: Did you hear about the Kleenex factory that blew up? A: There wasn’t a dry eye in the house!
- Q: What’s a Kleenex’s biggest fear? A: A nose ring.
Dad Jokes About Kleenex: Pun-Filled Quips
- I used to be a kleenex spokesperson, but then I got caught lying about how soft the tissues were. Turns out, I wasn’t very Kleenex-cellent at my job!
- Did you hear about the kleenex that went to art school? It really knows how to tissue paper!
- Why did the kleenex cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken, of course!
- What do you call a kleenex filled with helium? A snot rocket!
- I bought the world’s strongest kleenex… It’s tear-resistant!
- What’s a kleenex’s favorite movie genre? Tear-jerkers, naturally.
- Why are kleenex so good at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve!
- Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a room full of kleenex boxes? Because they’re always blowing things out of proportion!
- Did you hear about the kleenex factory that exploded? It was a real blow!
- Kleenex are like good advice: They’re easy to pass around!
- What’s the most emotional part of a plant? The tissue, duh!
- I saw a kleenex box at the gym today… Must’ve been there to catch some zzz’s!
Kleenex Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the Kleenex lose its job? Because it kept getting all snotty!
- What did the mama Kleenex say to her messy kid? “You’re really blowing it!”
- What’s a Kleenex’s favorite game to play? Tag! You’re it!
- Why did the Kleenex cross the road? To get to the boo-hoo-hoo-tel!
- What did the Kleenex wear to the party? A tissue paper dress!
- What does a Kleenex say when it sneezes? “Excuse me, myself!”
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tissue. Tissue who? Tissue be you, but it’s not!
- Why are Kleenex always invited to parties? They’re real tear-jerkers!
- What did the Kleenex say to the nose? “Hey! We should hang out sometime!”
- Why don’t Kleenex tell secrets? They have too many plies!
- Did you hear about the Kleenex factory? Business is going up!
- What do you call a magical Kleenex? A tissue-dabra!
- What’s a Kleenex’s favorite school subject? Math, because they love multi-ply!
- What do you get if you cross a Kleenex with a sheep? A boo-hoo-hoo-lamb!
Kleenex Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My retirement plan is like a Kleenex box… Getting increasingly empty and causing me to tear up every time I look at it.
- I used to work in a Kleenex factory, but I got fired… Apparently, I was always blowing my nose on company time.
- I saw a man carrying a sign that said, “Honk if you love Kleenex!” It’s good to see someone passionate about their tissues.
- My doctor told me I have a severe allergy to artificial tears… Guess I’ll have to stick with the genuine Kleenex brand.
- You know you’re getting old when… You remember when a box of Kleenex cost a nickel and could cure any emotional crisis.
- My therapist told me to embrace my emotions… So I bought a family-sized box of Kleenex.
- Dating at my age is like trying to find a pristine Kleenex… In a used tissue dispenser.
- My grandkids asked me what “vinyl” is… I told them it’s what we used to store our Kleenex before plastic.
- Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy lotions for our noses… Just good old-fashioned Kleenex and a dab of Vaseline.
- My memory is getting so bad… Sometimes I forget if I used a Kleenex or just blew my nose on my sleeve.
- I tried to explain to my grandkids that Kleenex used to come in colors other than white… They looked at me like I had two heads.
- I’m at that age where I consider a fresh box of Kleenex to be… A luxury item.
- My doctor told me to cut back on sodium… Guess I’ll have to start using those low-salt Kleenex.
- You know your grandkids are spoiled when… They ask for a Kleenex instead of using their sleeve like a normal human being.
Kleenex Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My therapist told me to let go of what’s bothering me. Big mistake. Now I can’t find my Kleenex. 🤧
- “Kleenex? More like Clee-never-have-enough-when-I-need-them-ex,” sobbed the allergy sufferer dramatically.
- What’s a tissue’s biggest fear? Getting ripped off! 🧻
- Just saw a Kleenex box at the gym. Must be for snotty comments. 💪
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Now, I’m hooked on Kleenex. Those tissues really got ahold of me. 🎶
- My friend said she started a tissue business. Seems like a pretty tearable business model. 💰
- You know you’ve reached peak adulthood when you get excited about buying a new box of Kleenex. 😩
- Why did the Kleenex cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken! 🐔
- My New Year’s resolution was to be less negative. Lasted until I opened a new Kleenex box and pulled out two tissues at once. 🤬
- What did the sentimental Kleenex say to its box after being pulled out? “I’ll never let go!” 😭
- I accidentally put my credit card in the washing machine. Good thing I had a Kleenex on hand to finance the tears. 💳 😭
- I’m writing a book about Kleenex. It’s going to be a real tear-jerker. 📖