93+ Helium Jokes & Puns: You Can’t Stop This Gas!
Get ready to laugh your socks off because this post is jam-packed with the best helium jokes and puns this side of the periodic table! 😂 We’ve got a hilarious list of knee-slappers that are perfect for kids and adults alike. From clever wordplay to puns that will make you say “He He Helium,” get ready for some seriously funny business. 🚀 This is humor at its finest, folks, so buckle up and prepare for lift off! 🎈
Top Helium Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the balloon break up with the helium? Because she felt like he was always letting her down!
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the helium-powered car? It took off! (But he couldn’t get it back down.)
- Why is helium so narcissistic? Because it’s all about him!
- How do you cut the sea in half? With a Sea-Saw! (Get it? Helium is part of the sun…☀️)
- I used to hate helium… but now it’s my number one gas!
- Helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.
- What’s the most uplifting element? Helium! (It literally lifts your spirits!)
- What did the helium say to the balloon? “Let’s bounce!”
- What’s a helium atom’s favorite pick-up line? “I’m feeling a strong attraction between us.”
- Why is helium such a loner? Because it can’t bond with anything!
- You know you’ve had too much helium when… even your thoughts start sounding squeaky!
- What do you call a balloon that’s sad because it lost its helium? De-flated.
- What do you call it when a bunch of criminals escape with a bunch of party balloons? A high-drung getaway!
- Why was the helium atom feeling negative? Because it lost its electrons!
Clever Helium Puns – Best Picks
- Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here!” Helium doesn’t react.
- Why is helium so clumsy? Because it’s always tripping over air molecules!
- What does a balloon and a bad relationship have in common? They both need helium to stay afloat but eventually, they both deflate and leave you feeling empty.
- I used to hate helium, but now it’s my gas.
- Someone stole all the helium from the store! I heard they were caught… on the air.
- Dating apps are like a tank of helium. Full of hot air and likely to leave you feeling deflated.
- What element is a party pooper? Nobelium! (Cuz it ain’t helium!)
- You know you’re addicted to helium when you get excited about reaching boiling point.
- I wondered why the balloon was so incredibly sad–then it hit me.
- What did the balloon say to the helium? You lift me up!
- Did you hear about the guy who invented helium? They say he’s a real gas at parties.
- Helium is so expensive these days, it’s a crime! Literally, grand larceny.
- Never inhale helium and argue with your voice assistant- they always talk you out of it.
Funny Helium One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Helium Jokes
- Never trust an atom… they make up everything, especially helium.
- Helium walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” Helium doesn’t react.
- What do you call a helium balloon’s worst enemy? A pop star.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, especially if it’s filled with helium.
- What element is a French snail’s favorite? Helium.
- Helium is so narcissistic… it’s always looking at itself in the periodic table.
- I tried to explain to my friend why helium makes your voice high. He just wouldn’t listen.
- You know, helium is the second most abundant element in the universe. Kinda makes you wish you had a dollar for every atom… wait a minute…
- What does the periodic table say at bedtime? Helium-ium-ium.
- Helium went to a therapist. It said, “I’ve got this problem, I think I’m two light.”
- What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Heavy metal. Unless it’s filled with helium.
- I inhaled some helium earlier. I’m feeling light-headed.
Helium QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Helium
- Q: What did the balloon say to the helium on Valentine’s Day? A: “You take my breath away!”
- Q: What element is a thief’s least favorite? A: Helium, because they can’t put their hands on it!
- Q: What’s a balloon’s favorite genre of music? A: Helium-wave!
- Q: Why did the student bring helium to school? A: He wanted to lighten the mood!
- Q: Why did the balloon fail its exam? A: All its answers were a bit up in the air!
- Q: What do you call a helium atom with a positive charge? A: A helium cation! Get it? … ‘Cause it’s always lookin’ up!
- Q: What did the balloon say to the pin? A: “Hey, you wanna see something really deflating?”
- Q: Why was the helium atom feeling down? A: It said it had lost an electron…and seemed quite positive about it!
- Q: What do you call it when a bunch of balloons start a band? A: A “Float-chestra”
- Q: Where do balloons go when they’re sick? A: The “Helium-well” center!
- Q: What’s a balloon’s favorite type of movie? A: Anything with high-flying action!
- Q: Why don’t people ever tell secrets in a helium factory? A: Because everyone knows the atmosphere can’t keep a secret!
Dad Jokes About Helium: Pun-Filled Quips
- I wanted to buy a car made out of helium… but it was way over my budget.
- What do you call a villain who steals helium? A criminal mastermind… with lofty ambitions!
- Heard about the guy who inhaled helium before robbing a bank? They say he’s got a high-pitched voice, but a low chance of getting caught.
- Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here!” Helium doesn’t react.
- What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
- My wife just asked me to put some helium in the car tires… I told her I’d rather not. I don’t want all our problems to float away.
- Why did the helium atom fail its exam? It got all the questions wrong… No-Billed-ium.
- What’s a balloon’s favorite chore? Anything but sweeping, they hate going down to work.
- My friend tried to start a Helium Balloon delivery service… but it never got off the ground.
- I tried to make a sculpture out of helium… turned out to be a real gas.
- What do you call a sad balloon at a birthday party? Defeated… and a little deflated.
- You know what they say about helium… it’s always looking up!
- Helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” Helium replies, “Really? I’ll have a ‘Helium’ then!”
- What element does a balloon love most? Helium, of course! It’s what keeps them afloat – literally!
Helium Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the balloon go to the doctor? Because it felt helium-inated!
- What do you call a helium balloon’s worst enemy? A POP star!
- Why was the helium balloon feeling sad? Because it knew it was going to die a-loan!
- My friend told me helium is really expensive! I told him, “Helium? Expensive? That’s a big gas!”
- What do you call a dinosaur that uses helium? A gas-osaurus Rex!
- Why did the helium balloon float over the ocean? It wanted to go on a sea-nic adventure!
- What’s a balloon’s least favorite activity? “Helium-inating” chores!
- Why did the birthday balloon refuse to share its helium? It was feeling very “self-ish” today!
- Me: I think I might need some helium. Friend: For what? Me: To help me reach my goals!
- Why didn’t the two helium balloons race each other? They knew it would end in a tie!
- What does a happy helium balloon do for exercise? It loves doing “lift” weights!
- What did the comedian say to the helium balloon? “You really know how to lighten up the mood!”
- What did the helium balloon say to the pin? “You’re bursting my bubble!”
- Where do smart helium balloons go to learn? To “float-ing” school!
Helium Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Helium Humor for the Distinguished:
- Why did the elderly atom refuse helium? He declared, “Get that off my lawn! I’m far too noble for such frivolity.”
- You know you’re getting old when… You get winded just inflating the word “balloon.”
- Helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.
- My doctor told me I might have a helium deficiency. I couldn’t quite make out what he said though. I think he said, “You’ll be fine.”
- Retirement is like a helium balloon. Full of hot air, but somehow still manages to lift you up.
- I used to think helium was a gas… Turns out, it’s actually quite noble.
- What do you call a senior citizen who can still hold their breath for a really long time? An over-inflated ego.
- I went to a helium bar last night. I could only understand every other word the bartender was saying.
- An elderly gentleman accidentally inhales some helium. His friend exclaims, “Wow, you sound like your younger self!” He replies, “I AM my younger self!”
- My friend said I should invest in helium. I told him: “That seems like a risky venture… unless you’ve got some inside information.”
- You know you’re getting old when… Your idea of a wild Friday night is a good documentary and a cup of decaf… with a splash of helium for a little excitement.
Helium Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I’m starting a helium balloon delivery service, but it’s really taken off. 🚀
- My friend said Helium walks are dangerous. I told him to be more specific. 🤔
- Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” Helium doesn’t react. 😔
- What do you call a super funny helium pun? A gas! 😄
- Just saw a documentary about helium. It was so uplifting! 🙃
- What did the balloon say to the helium? “You’re my everything!” 🥰
- Bought some helium for my girlfriend. Hope she likes what I’ve got planned, or this is gonna be awkward. 😳
- Helium walks into a bank, hands the teller a note. As the teller reads it, Helium floats away. The note said, “Give me all the money, or you’re never going to see me down here again!” 💰
- How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw! Why is this relevant to helium? Absolutely no reason! Enjoy your day. 🌊
- BREAKING NEWS: Local man arrested for stealing helium. Details are sketchy. 📰
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! This has nothing to do with Helium, BUT it’s a classic! 😉
- You know, Helium is a noble gas. It never reacts. Which actually makes it a terrible conversationalist. 🤫
He-lieve it or not, that’s all, folks! 🎈
We hope these helium jokes lifted your spirits! If you’re looking for more laughs lighter than air, float on over to our website for a whole lot of pun. We’ve got jokes guaranteed to tickle your funny bone, no matter what element you’re looking for!
