94+ Delivery Puns & Jokes: You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!
Get ready to laugh your parcels off because we’re diving into the world of delivery jokes! 😂 This isn’t your average package deal; we’ve got a list of the best, most clever puns and side-splitting humor that’ll have you saying, “Special delivery…straight to my funny bone!” Whether you’re a comedian looking for fresh material or just need a chuckle that’s faster than two-day shipping, this collection is for you. And don’t worry, these jokes are totally kid-friendly! 🤪 So buckle up, grab your tracking number, and get ready for some seriously funny business! 📦
Top Delivery Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the delivery driver quit his job? He couldn’t handle the pressure!
- What do you call a singing delivery driver? A package crooner!
- I saw a delivery driver listening to classical music. I guess you could say he was really handling Bach. 😅
- I ordered a talking parrot online, but when the package arrived, it was empty. The delivery company claims they delivered it…word for word.
- Why was the delivery truck always late? It suffered from procrastination.
- Did you hear about the delivery driver who won an award? He delivered excellence! 🎉
- My delivery driver keeps leaving my packages in weird places. I think he’s trying to tell me to get a hobby.
- What’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist? A gynecologist gets paid for delivering, a pizza delivery guy doesn’t.
- What did the customer say to the delivery driver who threw the package at the front door? “Hey, what’s the catch?”
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I ordered it a pizza. Now we’ll see who the delivery driver is scared of! 🕷️🍕
- Knock knock! … Who’s there? … Package. … Package who? Package yourself a sense of humor, why don’t you? 📦
- Why did the delivery driver bring a ladder to work? He wanted to take his career to the next level.
- Why did the delivery driver keep getting lost? He was terrible at following directions. Maybe he should use Google Maps, or Apple Maps…or any maps! 🗺️
- What’s the most important thing for a delivery driver to have? Address! 😉
- I used to be afraid of ordering things online, but now I’ve overcome my Amazon Prime phobia. 📦😆
Clever Delivery Puns – Best Picks
- I want to start a delivery service for things that are heavier than feathers, but I can’t get it off the ground.
- Why did the delivery driver win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- My friend started a business throwing parties for people with social anxiety. It’s delivery only.
- Heard about the motivational speaker who only gave presentations online? Turns out, his delivery was terrible in person.
- The new delivery guy is really growing on me. I think he’s a real fun-ghi.
- They say the stork delivers babies, but mine came by FedEx. I guess that makes me an Air Heir.
- My anxiety about my online order arriving damaged was completely unfounded. It was box-ing day for worries!
- I wanted to open a bakery named “Delivery Issues,” but I couldn’t find a good loaf-cation.
- The stand-up comedian quit his job at the postal service. He said he was tired of working for tips.
- What did the mom say to her son the procrastinating inventor? “If you don’t finish that delivery drone soon, you’ll be up all night working on a deadline!”
- That new Italian restaurant messed up my order three times in a row. I guess their delivery system is all pasta-rcel.
- My dad couldn’t figure out how to rate his delivery driver online. He just kept muttering about wanting to give him “five stars on his windshield.”
- I wanted a pizza delivered to my room at Mount Everest Base Camp. The restaurant said it would be an extra four grand for the “altitude-itude.”
- What’s a dragon’s favorite delivery service? ScaleWay.
Funny Delivery One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Delivery Jokes
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it, so I took it to the movies. It turns out, that was just the delivery method for our new pet.
- I got a job at a bakery because I knead the dough, but they fired me for loafing around. Turns out, good time management was a key delivery expectation.
- The comedian’s delivery was so bad, he should have had it shipped express.
- Why did the delivery driver win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- My doctor told me I have a very monotone voice. I guess that makes me bad at delivery.
- Never trust atoms; they make up everything, especially your online delivery order.
- I finally decided on my New Year’s resolution: to be more punctual. Now if only my delivery resolutions would arrive on time.
- The motivational speaker was so boring, his message must have gotten lost in the delivery.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award for his delivery? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from a delivery service. I’ll let you know which one came first.
Delivery QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Delivery
- Q: Why did the delivery driver win an award for his speech? A: He really delivered!
- Q: What do you call a group of comedians delivering packages? A: A punchline delivery service.
- Q: What did the delivery guy say when he dropped the package? A: “Well, that wasn’t my intended delivery strategy.”
- Q: Why did the delivery drone get fired? A: It kept droning on about the traffic.
- Q: What’s a medieval knight’s favorite delivery app? A: Sir Eats-a-Lot.
- Q: Why did the delivery company hire a bunch of snails? A: They wanted to offer “slow and steady” shipping options.
- Q: How do you know your package is on time with a snail delivery service? A: It arrives before you finish saying “snail mail.”
- Q: What did the frustrated customer yell at the delayed package? A: “Where have you bean all my life?!”
- Q: Why don’t vampires order online? A: They have a serious issue with delivery stakes.
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite delivery method? A: Boo-mail, of course!
- Q: What’s the most popular delivery service in the arctic? A: Polar Express Delivery – They always go the extra mile!
- Q: What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? A: They can both smell what’s cooking, but only one gets to deliver it! (Use with caution – might be considered a bit edgy!)
- Q: Why was the delivery truck always lost? A: It didn’t have a sense of direction.
- Q: What did the impatient customer say to the clock while waiting for his delivery? A: “Quit loafing around and get to the delivery time!”
Dad Jokes About Delivery: Pun-Filled Quips
- I just got a job at a letter factory, but I had to quit on my first day. Turns out the work was too much… delivery.
- Heard the new delivery driver was really fast? He’s got nothing but speeding tickets.
- Did you hear about the delivery truck full of dictionaries that crashed? Witnesses said words were scattered everywhere.
- What did the restaurant customer say when his online order was taking too long? “Any word on my delivery?” I’m starving for information!”
- These new self-driving delivery vehicles are getting out of control. One just gave me a ticket! I guess you could say it had an arresting presence.
- Do you think FedEx and UPS drivers ever hang out? I guess it depends on their delivery styles.
- That delivery driver must listen to a lot of books on tape. When I asked for his sign off, he said, “Read it and weep.”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite method of delivery? Ceeee-Hawwwww! (Sea Haul!)
- That stand-up comedian who works for DoorDash is hilarious! He’s got such great delivery!
- Why was the delivery guy so tired? He’d been runnin’ all day.
- I’m starting a new job at a trampoline factory. The manager said I’ve got the job in the bag! But I’m a little worried about making the first delivery.
Delivery Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the delivery truck get in trouble at school? It kept running into the other vehicles!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, this delivery is getting cold!
- Where do sheep go to get their wool delivered? Ewe-Bay!
- What did the baby say when the package arrived? “Goo-goo-good job, delivery person!”
- Why was the delivery truck always tired? It had a very demanding route!
- How do bees get their packages delivered? By Amazon Prime-Hive!
- Why did the delivery person get lost? They took the wrong turn-ip!
- What did the mail carrier say to the package? “Let’s be postal and get you delivered on time!”
- What do you call a dinosaur who delivers packages? A dino-deliverysaurus!
- Why don’t monsters order delivery? Because they are afraid of food that’s been gnome-made!
- How do owls pay for their deliveries? With owl-money, of course!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite delivery service? Boo-Fedex!
- What kind of car does a pizza delivery driver drive? A pie-geot!🚗🍕
- What did the mom say to her son when he said the delivery person was taking too long? “Be patient, Rome wasn’t delivered in a day!”
Delivery Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired postman win an award for his stand-up routine? He had impeccable comedic timing and delivery. You think he walks slow now, you should have seen his act!
- My doctor told me I need to improve my posture. I told him I ordered a spine alignment pillow online. He said, “Oh, interesting. What’s the delivery window?” I said, “Right between the drapes.” You would think a doctor would have a better sense of humor!
- I tried to explain to my grandson that “Amazon Prime” used to refer to my golden years… He wasn’t buying it. Those were the days… before two-day shipping.
- The retirement home started a mail-order business for dentures. So far, business is… biting. Get it shipped straight to your door, no fuss!
- A magician walked down the street and turned into a post office! I guess you could say it was a disappearing act with a surprise delivery. Now that’s what I call special delivery!
- I asked for a large print menu at the new restaurant. The waiter said, “They’re still at the printer, sir.” I replied, “Well, that’s a novel excuse for slow service.” I guess they don’t believe in instant delivery.
- My neighbor said online shopping is addictive. I told him to hold on, I need to check my package tracking. He doesn’t understand the thrill of the estimated delivery window!
- I ordered a “Time Machine” online, but it hasn’t arrived. I guess you could say… the delivery’s running a little late. Maybe their time machine is stuck in traffic?
- Why don’t they trust atoms with delivery jobs? They’re always dropping things. They just can’t handle the responsibility!
- My friend asked, “What’s the most reliable delivery service in history?” I said, “Carrier pigeons, of course. They never lost their bearings.” And they didn’t charge extra for rush hour!
- What does a mailman do when he’s mad? He throws a package delivery. Handle with care, folks. No, seriously!
- I tried to start a business teaching parrots to deliver telegrams. It was going swimmingly until… they started charging extra for birdseed. And they kept getting the messages mixed up! Talking about fowl language…
- My grandkids are amazed I remember a time before online shopping. I told them, “Back in my day, we had something called patience.” They looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Ah, the younger generation. They’ll learn… eventually.
Delivery Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I’m starting a delivery service for things that haunt you. You could say I’m getting into the nightmare-before-Christmas market. 👻📦
- My friend started a business delivering motivational speeches on demand. Business is booming, he’s booked and busy. Guess you could say he’s really…delivering. 🎤💰
- Just saw a mailman delivering a package while breakdancing. Guess you could call that a special…delivery move? 🕺✉️
- Why did the delivery driver bring a ladder to work? He wanted to take his career to the next…level. 🪜🚚
- What did the mom say to her son who was nervous about his first delivery driving job? “Don’t worry, it’s as easy as riding a bike… with a car.” 🚲🚗
- Ordered a pizza for delivery but it arrived upside down. I guess they messed up the…delivery instructions. 🍕 🙃
- Why was the delivery guy so good at hide-and-seek? He was a master of…package concealment. 📦🕵️
- My new job is delivering motivational posters. The pay isn’t great, but at least I have a real…purpose. 💪🖼️
- I wanted to start a business delivering only pickles. I figured it would be…in a real pickle if it failed. 🥒 🤷
- Breaking news: Local bakery owner arrested for stealing all the doors in town. Police say he was caught…bread-handed. 🍞👮♀️
- Why did the delivery driver sprinkle glitter on all the packages? He wanted to add a little…shipping sparkle! ✨📦
- Delivery drivers must get so tired of people saying “Have a nice day!” when they’re just trying to…deliver the goods. 🙄🚪
- What’s the most important quality of a successful delivery driver? A drive to…succeed. 💪🛣️
- I’m writing a play about the life of a delivery package. It’s still a work in…transit. ✍️📦
That’s all, folks! Hope these puns delivered some laughs!
That’s all folks! We hope these delivery jokes and puns arrived in tip-top comedic condition. For more side-splitting wordplay delivered straight to your funny bone, explore the rest of our pun-derful website. You won’t want to return these jokes to sender!
