109+ Fat Jokes & Puns: You Butter Believe It!
Get ready to chuckle your chubby cheeks off! 😂 This isn’t your average list of fat jokes – oh no, this is the BEST, most HUMOROUS collection of puns and clever quips about all things plump and portly! 👨🍳 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some serious giggle fits. We’ve got enough witty wordplay here to satisfy even the largest appetite for laughter. 🍔 So, loosen your belt and get ready for some side-splitting FUN!
Top Fat Jokes – Best Picks
Why don’t they have skinny cows? Because they haven’t made a moo-vie about them yet! 🐄🎬
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! (But good luck finding one in your size.) 🐑🦘
My doctor told me to avoid anything fatty… So I had to break up with my partner. Just kidding! … Or am I? 💔🤭
My friend said I have a tire around my waist… I told him, “It’s a spare, just in case!” 🚗🍩
What’s the easiest way to lose weight? Photoshop! 📸✨ (But seriously, love yourself at any size.)
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🥔🦘
Remember the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere. 🚀🌕
My trainer told me to avoid fatty foods. So I switched to eating my fries with chopsticks. 🍟🥢
I tried to join a gym once, but they said I had to lift my own body weight. I told them, “Challenge accepted! Just bring me a bigger lever.” 💪🏋️♀️
I lost 25% of my body fat last week! Turns out it was just my wallet. 😭💸
Why did the donut go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby! 🍩👨⚕️
I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” So I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.” 👀🧒 (Just kidding, kids are precious!)
Clever Fat Puns – Best Picks
What did the doctor say to the overweight ghost? “Look at this, you’re a little transparent about your weight.”
I’m starting a fitness program that helps ghosts lose weight. It’s called “Soul Cycle.”
My friend told me I should be a chef for ghosts. I told him, “That’s a spirited idea! I could make meals low in cal-or-ies.”
What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller.
How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
If money talks, what does fat talk? “No more cheesecake!”
What does oblivious mean? I have no idea.
Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Funny Fat One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Fat Jokes
I saw a sign that said “Watch for Fast Food.” I thought, “That’s a good idea, it sneaks up on you.”
My doctor told me to avoid fatty foods. Apparently, a tub of butter isn’t a “balanced breakfast.”
Tried to join a weight loss support group online… Apparently “0 to hero” wasn’t the right category.
My friend said I should embrace my curves… I told him I’d love to, if only I could reach them.
Just saw a sign that read “Caution: Children Fatigued Easily.” Made me wonder what they were feeding these kids.
People say I have a lot of willpower… to keep eating what I want.
My friend told me I’m not fat, I’m just “big boned.” I told him, “Honey, you need more than bones to make a body this fabulous.”
I lost three pounds last week! …Sadly, I find them again every time I open the fridge.
Just bought exercise clothes… they’ll look great once I lose the ten pounds of tags.
Don’t judge me for eating this whole pizza… I’m just a very enthusiastic supporter of local businesses.
I’m not saying I’m overweight, but when I jump for joy, I get stuck in the air.
My love life is like a bowl of frosted donuts… sweet, tempting, and ultimately unhealthy.
Tried to explain to my friend that “carb-loading” isn’t a recognized medical term… Turns out, ignorance is bliss.
Fat QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Fat
Q: What did the doctor say to the loaf of bread feeling self-conscious? A: Don’t worry, you’re just a little wheat-heavy.
Q: Why don’t they trust atoms with diets? A: Because they always make up everything!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato!
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite dessert? A: I scream, you scream, we all scream for… I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-butter!
Q: Why did the gym close down? A: It couldn’t keep up with its running costs!
Q: What did the tired treadmill say to the marathon runner? A: Give it a rest, will ya? You’re really wearing me down!
Q: What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show? A: Anything with a great cast!
Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? A: Because she was stuffed!
Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: Hill-arious!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A: A woolly jumper!
Q: What’s ET short for? A: Because he’s only got little legs!
Dad Jokes About Fat: Pun-Filled Quips
I saw a sign that said “Watch for fat cats crossing.” Turns out it was just a wealthy neighborhood.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
What do you call it when your jeans are too tight? A fashion faux-pa(unch).
My doctor told me to cut back on fatty foods. Looks like no more massages for me!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
Why don’t they have cheesecake in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
I saw a sign that said “Weight Limit 18 Tons.” So, naturally, I drove my refrigerator over it.
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
Never trust atoms. They make up everything!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
I started a new job at a margarine factory. I thought it would spread the wealth, but it just churned me up inside.
Fat Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the one plate say to his friend, “Dinner’s on me!”? Because he was a little platter!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why don’t elephants like computers? They’re scared of the mouse!
What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
Where do hamburgers go to dance? A meat-ball!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
Where does a sheep go to get a haircut? To the baa-baa shop!
Fat Jokes and Puns for Elders
My doctor told me I need to watch my weight. So I bought a talking scale, but the batteries died. Now it just whispers cruel things.
I went to a restaurant last night that served “all you can eat” shrimp. I ate so much, I pulled a mussel!
Ever notice how easy it is to gain weight as you age? It’s like our metabolisms said, “You know what? We deserve a vacation.”
My friend told me I should consider liposuction. I said, “No way, I’m emotionally attached to my fat cells! We’ve been through a lot together.”
I’m not saying I’m overweight, but I did just get flagged for excess baggage at the airport… by my reflection in the metal detector.
Dieting is hard. Especially when the voice in your head sounds suspiciously like your grandmother… and she’s an excellent baker.
You know you’re getting old when you bend over to tie your shoes… and start reminiscing about when you had a waistline.
I saw an ad for a gym that said, “This is going to cost you an arm and a leg!” I thought, perfect! Maybe I can finally afford it after I lose some weight!
My doctor told me I need to incorporate more iron into my diet… So I’m building a gazebo.
Retirement is great! You finally have time for all the things you enjoy… Like eating, napping, and pondering the mysteries of elastic waistbands.
I told my wife I was thinking about getting a personal trainer. She said, “Honey, with your budget, we could get you a personal chef instead!”
Fat Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Why did the gym membership get a restraining order against the potato chip? It said the chips were dangerously close to becoming fat.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Just found out my doctor has a sense of humor, who knew? His nametag says “Dr. Light” but he specializes in weight loss. Ironic, right?
I tried to join a fitness forum online, but I got rejected. They said I had too much content.
My friend keeps telling me to embrace my curves… So I hugged a donut. What else was I supposed to do?
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! (Get it? Cause it’s… never mind.)
My scale said I needed to make a serious life change. So I threw it out and got myself some pizza. Problem solved!
I’m not saying I’m lazy… but I once considered hiring someone to go on a diet for me.
Just saw someone jogging on a treadmill at the gym. I thought, “What are you running from? Your problems?”
My New Year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds… Then I realized, I like those pounds, they’re my friends.
Dieting is tough. Especially when the voices in my head keep screaming, “PIZZA!”
I’m not overweight… I’m just easier to see. It’s a safety feature, really.
Don’t Be Sad, We’re All Big Boned to Be Funny!
We hope these fat jokes didn’t weigh you down too much! If you’re still feeling light-hearted, be sure to check out the rest of our punny website for more hilarious jokes and puns. We promise they’re all in good taste, even if some of them are a little cheesy.
