109+ Fat Jokes & Puns: You Butter Believe It!
Get ready to chuckle your chubby cheeks off! π This isn’t your average list of fat jokes β oh no, this is the BEST, most HUMOROUS collection of puns and clever quips about all things plump and portly! π¨βπ³ Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some serious giggle fits. We’ve got enough witty wordplay here to satisfy even the largest appetite for laughter. π So, loosen your belt and get ready for some side-splitting FUN!
Top Fat Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they have skinny cows? Because they haven’t made a moo-vie about them yet! ππ¬
- What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! (But good luck finding one in your size.) ππ¦
- My doctor told me to avoid anything fatty… So I had to break up with my partner. Just kidding! β¦ Or am I? ππ€
- My friend said I have a tire around my waist… I told him, “It’s a spare, just in case!” ππ©
- What’s the easiest way to lose weight? Photoshop! πΈβ¨ (But seriously, love yourself at any size.)
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! π₯π¦
- Remember the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere. ππ
- My trainer told me to avoid fatty foods. So I switched to eating my fries with chopsticks. ππ₯’
- I tried to join a gym once, but they said I had to lift my own body weight. I told them, “Challenge accepted! Just bring me a bigger lever.” πͺποΈββοΈ
- I lost 25% of my body fat last week! Turns out it was just my wallet. ππΈ
- Why did the donut go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby! π©π¨ββοΈ
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” So I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.” ππ§ (Just kidding, kids are precious!)

Clever Fat Puns – Best Picks
- What did the doctor say to the overweight ghost? “Look at this, you’re a little transparent about your weight.”
- Iβm starting a fitness program that helps ghosts lose weight. It’s called “Soul Cycle.”
- My friend told me I should be a chef for ghosts. I told him, “That’s a spirited idea! I could make meals low in cal-or-ies.”
- What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
- Why donβt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- If money talks, what does fat talk? “No more cheesecake!”
- What does oblivious mean? I have no idea.
- What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
- Never criticize someone until youβve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, youβll be a mile away and youβll have their shoes.
- Why donβt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
Funny Fat One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Fat Jokes
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Fast Food.” I thought, “That’s a good idea, it sneaks up on you.”
- My doctor told me to avoid fatty foods. Apparently, a tub of butter isn’t a “balanced breakfast.”
- Tried to join a weight loss support group online… Apparently “0 to hero” wasn’t the right category.
- My friend said I should embrace my curves… I told him I’d love to, if only I could reach them.
- Just saw a sign that read “Caution: Children Fatigued Easily.” Made me wonder what they were feeding these kids.
- People say I have a lot of willpower… to keep eating what I want.
- My friend told me I’m not fat, I’m just “big boned.” I told him, “Honey, you need more than bones to make a body this fabulous.”
- I lost three pounds last week! …Sadly, I find them again every time I open the fridge.
- Just bought exercise clothes… they’ll look great once I lose the ten pounds of tags.
- Don’t judge me for eating this whole pizza… I’m just a very enthusiastic supporter of local businesses.
- I’m not saying I’m overweight, but when I jump for joy, I get stuck in the air.
- My love life is like a bowl of frosted donuts… sweet, tempting, and ultimately unhealthy.
- Tried to explain to my friend that “carb-loading” isn’t a recognized medical term… Turns out, ignorance is bliss.
Fat QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Fat
- Q: What did the doctor say to the loaf of bread feeling self-conscious? A: Don’t worry, you’re just a little wheat-heavy.
- Q: Why don’t they trust atoms with diets? A: Because they always make up everything!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato!
- Q: What’s a ghosts favorite dessert? A: I scream, you scream, we all scream for… I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-butter!
- Q: Why did the gym close down? A: It couldnβt keep up with its running costs!
- Q: What did the tired treadmill say to the marathon runner? A: Give it a rest, will ya? You’re really wearing me down!
- Q: What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show? A: Anything with a great cast!
- Q: What happens when a clock gets hungry? A: It goes back four seconds!
- Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? A: Because she was stuffed!
- Q: Why is being a pirate so addictive? A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
- Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: Hill-arious!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A: A woolly jumper!
- Q: What’s ET short for? A: Because he’s only got little legs!
Dad Jokes About Fat: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for fat cats crossing.” Turns out it was just a wealthy neighborhood.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
- What do you call it when your jeans are too tight? A fashion faux-pa(unch).
- My doctor told me to cut back on fatty foods. Looks like no more massages for me!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
- Why don’t they have cheesecake in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- I saw a sign that said “Weight Limit 18 Tons.” So, naturally, I drove my refrigerator over it.
- What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
- Never trust atoms. They make up everything!
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
- I started a new job at a margarine factory. I thought it would spread the wealth, but it just churned me up inside.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, I took it to the movies. It was a great dad and son outing!
Fat Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the one plate say to his friend, “Dinner’s on me!”? Because he was a little platter!
- What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
- Why don’t elephants like computers? They’re scared of the mouse!
- What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
- Where do hamburgers go to dance? A meat-ball!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
- What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
- Where does a sheep go to get a haircut? To the baa-baa shop!
Fat Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they ever make square bales of hay anymore? Because they’re all trying to eliminate waist!
- My doctor told me I need to watch my weight. So I bought a talking scale, but the batteries died. Now it just whispers cruel things.
- I went to a restaurant last night that served “all you can eat” shrimp. I ate so much, I pulled a mussel!
- Ever notice how easy it is to gain weight as you age? It’s like our metabolisms said, “You know what? We deserve a vacation.”
- My friend told me I should consider liposuction. I said, “No way, I’m emotionally attached to my fat cells! We’ve been through a lot together.”
- I’m not saying I’m overweight, but I did just get flagged for excess baggage at the airportβ¦ by my reflection in the metal detector.
- Dieting is hard. Especially when the voice in your head sounds suspiciously like your grandmotherβ¦ and she’s an excellent baker.
- You know you’re getting old when you bend over to tie your shoesβ¦ and start reminiscing about when you had a waistline.
- I saw an ad for a gym that said, “This is going to cost you an arm and a leg!” I thought, perfect! Maybe I can finally afford it after I lose some weight!
- I joined a gym today. They gave me a free TV to watch while I exercisedβ¦ Turns out, it’s a security camera pointed at the donut shop across the street.
- My doctor told me I need to incorporate more iron into my dietβ¦ So I’m building a gazebo.
- Retirement is great! You finally have time for all the things you enjoy⦠Like eating, napping, and pondering the mysteries of elastic waistbands.
- I told my wife I was thinking about getting a personal trainer. She said, “Honey, with your budget, we could get you a personal chef instead!”
Fat Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why did the gym membership get a restraining order against the potato chip? It said the chips were dangerously close to becoming fat.
- I saw a sign at a bakery that said, “Low-Fat Cookies.” I thought, “What’s the point? Might as well eat dirt.”
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Just found out my doctor has a sense of humor, who knew? His nametag says “Dr. Light” but he specializes in weight loss. Ironic, right?
- I tried to join a fitness forum online, but I got rejected. They said I had too much content.
- My friend keeps telling me to embrace my curves⦠So I hugged a donut. What else was I supposed to do?
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! (Get it? Cause it’s… never mind.)
- My scale said I needed to make a serious life change. So I threw it out and got myself some pizza. Problem solved!
- My workout buddy said I need to push myself harder. I told him I just pushed a whole cheesecake in my face β what more does he want?
- Iβm not saying Iβm lazyβ¦ but I once considered hiring someone to go on a diet for me.
- Just saw someone jogging on a treadmill at the gym. I thought, “What are you running from? Your problems?”
- My New Yearβs resolution was to lose 20 poundsβ¦ Then I realized, I like those pounds, theyβre my friends.
- Dieting is tough. Especially when the voices in my head keep screaming, “PIZZA!”
- I’m not overweightβ¦ Iβm just easier to see. Itβs a safety feature, really.
Don’t Be Sad, We’re All Big Boned to Be Funny!
We hope these fat jokes didn’t weigh you down too much! If you’re still feeling light-hearted, be sure to check out the rest of our punny website for more hilarious jokes and puns. We promise they’re all in good taste, even if some of them are a little cheesy.