92+ Plank Puns & Jokes To Make You Laugh Your Abs Off
Ahoy there, mateys, and get ready to walk the plank… of laughter! 😂 We’ve compiled the best list of plank jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone. This collection of clever wordplay is perfect for kids and adults alike. So, grab your sense of humor and get ready for some seriously funny plank-ing around! 😉 You’d be board not to! 😜
Top Plank Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the plank get promoted at the lumberyard? Because it was outstanding in its field!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise? Plank, you landlubber!
- Why are pirates so good at planking? They’ve spent years mastering the high seas!
- You know you’ve been planking too long when… Your dog starts using you as a scratching post.
- My friend tried to sell me a “talking plank” at a yard sale… Turns out, it was just a piece of wood with a splinter.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
- A plank walks into a bar and says, “Hey, I’m looking for a good time…” The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve splinters!”
- What’s a plank’s favorite type of music? Board-walk Empire theme song!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! And they always try to wood-chip in.
- I told my wife she should try planking for a stronger core… She said, “I’d rather have a donut, but thanks for the vote of confidence.”
- Did you hear about the plank that went to art school? It became a master-piece!
- Someone stole all the planks from the lumberyard last night. The police are working tirelessly to deck the halls… with justice!
Clever Plank Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the plank get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
- What did the plank say to the carpenter? “Hey, quit screwing around!”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise? Planking!
- I wanted to open a lumberyard themed seafood restaurant… But I couldn’t come up with a good plank-ton.
- A plank walks into a bar and says, “Hey, I’m looking for a good time.” The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
- I told my friend his new furniture looked a bit wooden… He said, “That’s rich, coming from a plank like you.”
- Why don’t planks ever win arguments? Because they’re always getting board.
- What’s a plank’s favorite dance move? The worm!
- I tried to make a sculpture out of planks, but… It fell flat.
- What did one plank say to the other plank? “Let’s meet at the deck!”
- You know, I used to be a carpenter… But I had to quit, the work was too planking hard.
- Why are planks such bad dancers? They have two left feet!
- What do you call a group of planks protesting deforestation? A board of directors.
- I saw a plank crying the other day… I asked, “What’s wrong?” He said, “I’m board!”
Funny Plank One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Plank Jokes
- I told my friend to try the plank exercise for a stronger core… he just stared at a piece of wood and asked, “Now what?”
- I tried to explain to my cat that the plank is a great ab workout, but he just looked at me and said, “I’ll stick to my cardboard box routine, thanks.”
- Someone keeps leaving planks of wood in my yard. The evidence is mounting.
- My workout routine was going swimmingly, then it hit a plank.
- What do you call a group of pirates doing planks? A core-ner’s inquest.
- My friend said doing planks at the beach would get me ripped. He wasn’t lying, I got splinters everywhere.
- I wanted to open a seafood restaurant called “The Plank”, but I couldn’t come up with a catchy slogan…or a decent wine pairing.
- My doctor told me to walk the plank for my health… I told him I’d rather walk the dog.
- A plank of wood walks into a bar and says, “Hey, I’m looking for a job.” The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve splinters.”
- You know you’ve been doing the plank exercise too long when you start to develop a fear of pirates.
- I’m starting to think my personal trainer is secretly a pirate… every time I complain about planks, he says, “Walk the plank!”
- I’m not saying my carpentry skills are bad, but every time I try to build a bookshelf, it just ends up… well, a plank.
- Why did the plank fail its driving test? No turning signal.
- I thought I was strong doing a 5-minute plank. Then I realized I was just holding down a very sleepy cat.
- What’s a pirate’s least favorite exercise? Anything but the plank.
Plank QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Plank
- Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite exercise? A: The plank – it always ends with a splash!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a plank with a magician? A: A disappearing act you can walk on!
- Q: Why are planks good at keeping secrets? A: They’re really good at holding things in!
- Q: Why was the plank blushing? A: It saw the carpenter checking out its wood!
- Q: Where do planks sleep? A: On a bed of nails – they like the support!
- Q: What’s a plank’s favorite music genre? A: Board-walk music!
- Q: Why are planks so strong? A: They’re made of wood – will and determination!
- Q: Why did the plank get fired from the furniture factory? A: It kept putting its feet up on the table saw!
- Q: What do you call a plank that’s always cold? A: A brrr-oard!
- Q: How do planks write letters? A: They use a knot-pad!
- Q: What did the plank say to the nail gun? A: “Hey, don’t get any ideas – we’re just friends!”
- Q: Why are planks so stubborn? A: They’re set in their ways!
- Q: Why did the plank go to the doctor? A: It had splinters!
Dad Jokes About Plank: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the plank get an award? Because it always stayed level-headed!
- Hey, did you hear about that new pirate-themed exercise routine? It’s called “Walk the Plank…ton.”
- I saw a plank trying to sneak into a movie theater today. I asked him, “Hey, you got any ID?” He said, “Nah, I’m just a board.”
- Two planks walk into a bar. The bartender yells… “Hey, get a load of this splinter group!”
- My friend’s idea of a fun night is just staring at a plank of wood. Honestly, I think he’s got a pretty board game night routine.
- My wife got mad at me for taking a nap during my workout. Hey, I was just working on my planks!
- You know, I used to be a lumberjack, but I had to quit… I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees, let alone any planks!
- I tried to make a salad with lumber… Turns out, lettuce is always a better choice than planks!
- What’s a pirate’s least favorite exercise? Anything longer than a minute—they hate planks!
- Why did the plank cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- Where do they send bad planks? To boarding school!
- You know, money talks… but I’ve never heard a peep out of a wooden plank.
- If you’re ever feeling down, just remember… at least you’re not a plank! You have so much more to offer than just support and stability. (Mostly.)
Plank Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why was the plank always getting into trouble? Because it was always getting BOARD!
- What does a pirate use to make a plank walk easier? Planks-giving!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
- Why did the plank go to the doctor? It was feeling knotty!
- What kind of music do planks listen to? Anything but country, they can’t stand the Oak-ies!
- Why did the plank get sent to his room? He was being too WOOD-n’t you know!
- What did one plank say to the other plank on the pirate ship? This blows!
- What do you get if you cross a plank with a dog? A boarder collie!
- Why did the plank cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- Where do sick planks go? The board-walk-in clinic.
- What’s a plank’s favorite dance move? The shimmy and shake!
- What does a plank use to surf the internet? A board-band connection.
- Why don’t planks like telling secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears!
- What’s a plank’s favorite game to play in the car? I Spy with my little knot!
Plank Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the plank get an award at the carpentry convention? Because it was truly board-certified!
- You know you’re getting old when… Holding a plank position becomes less about fitness and more about remembering where you put your teeth.
- My doctor told me I need to incorporate more planks into my routine. So I went out and bought a new coffee table.
- I tried to strike up a conversation with a plank of wood the other day. Turns out, it was just board stiff.
- Why are pirates so bad at planking exercises? They spend too much time on the high seas!
- Retirement is like a game of Jenga. One wrong move and your carefully constructed plans can come tumbling down.
- I wanted to build a boat entirely out of planks, but… I gave up. It was too much of a shipload of work.
- My friend tried to sell me “vintage” planks from a shipwreck. I told him that sounded like a fishy investment.
- What do you call a plank that’s always getting into trouble? A board-line delinquent!
- My grandkids asked me to show them how to plank. I told them, “Darling, I’ve been holding this family together for years.”
- I told my wife I was going to start planking every morning. She just rolled her eyes and said, “Honey, you already spend enough time board in the morning.”
- You know you’re old when… You remember when “planking” was just for building houses, not posing for photos.
- My retirement plan is simple: Find a comfortable hammock, sip lemonade, and let the world board itself.
Plank Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to make a chair out of spaghetti… Turns out, I just wasn’t strong enough to finish the pasta-plank.
- What do you call a group of rebellious planks of wood? A splinter group.
- You can really tell a plank is out of shape… because it’s always board.
- I saw a plank at the gym today lifting weights. I guess it’s working on its board-y image.
- What’s a plank’s favorite kind of music? Anything but heavy metal!
- Just saw a plank strolling down the street in a trench coat. Pretty sure it was undercover lumber.
- Why are planks such bad dancers? They have two left feet.
- You know, money talks… but my plank collection just wooden listen.
- Broke up with my girlfriend. She said I was too clingy. I guess I should have given her more plank space.
- My therapist told me to confront my problems head-on… So I went to the lumber yard.
- What do you call a plank that’s also a lawyer? Sue-wood!
- Why did the plank get a job at the bank? It was good with board feet.
- Never challenge a plank to a staring contest… They have you board from the start.
Plank You Very Much for Laughing!
Well, folks, we’ve finally reached the end of our plank-tastic journey! We hope these puns and jokes left you feeling anything but board. If you’re still thirsty for more side-splitting wordplay, don’t just stand there like a plank, head over to our website and explore a whole lumberyard of hilarious puns and jokes!
