145+ Hippo Puns & Jokes: You’ll Get a Laugh Out of This
Get ready to laugh your π socks off because you’re about to dive into the BEST, most hippo-ly hilarious π list of hippo puns and jokes! This collection of clever and positively funny hippo humor is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good chuckle. So, get your giggle on and scroll down for some fintastic fun! π¦ You’re in for a real treat! π
Top ‘Hippo Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why don’t hippos ever win hide-and-seek? Because they’re always spotted!
- What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? I have no idear!
- Why did the hippo get a job at the bank? Because he was good with his cents… get it? Hippo-cents!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, of course!
- Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? He kept hippo-ing around during class!
- You know, hippos are incredibly graceful… for about five seconds, then it’s a complete hippo-losion!
- How do hippos say “hello” to each other? They give each other a big, wet “hippo-hug”!
- What do you call a one-legged hippo? A Hoppo-potamus!
- What do you call a group of singing hippos? A hippo-pera!
- Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken…or alligator bait!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite game to play in the water? Hippo-polo!
- What do you call a hippo with a sore throat? A hoarse-o-potamus!
- My friend said he wanted to live like a hippo… I told him, “Don’t you mean live like a king?” He said, “No, I want to live in a river, eat grass, and occasionally tip the scales at 2 tons!”
- Why are hippos so good at poker? They have four aces up their sleeve… and another one in the river!
- I saw a hippo wearing a raincoat and boots the other day… I guess he was dressed for hippo-weather!
- What do you get if you cross a hippo with a skunk? A creature that’s both big-boned and smelly!
- Did you hear about the hippo who opened a bakery? His cakes were a little heavy on the frosting… but the hippo-doughnuts were a hit!
- What’s big, gray, and weighs over a ton but can still disappear in a bubble bath? A hippo with exceptional bath bomb choices.
- Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it!

Clever ‘Hippo Puns’ – Best Picks
- What do you call a hippo who’s a sore loser? A hippo-critical.
- Why are hippos so good at poker? They have four aces up their sleeve… literally.
- Did you hear about the hippo who won an award? It was an honor just to be hippo-nominated.
- A hippo walks into a library. The librarian whispers, “Psst… your hippo-thetical questions are due tomorrow.”
- My friend said hippos can’t jump. I said, “Hippo-sibly!”
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, obviously.
- Never make a bet with a hippopotamus. The steaks are always too high.
- I saw a sign that said, “Beware of Hippo.” I thought, “How can I be aware of something so hippo-potami-zing?”
- I tried to explain to the hippo why stealing is wrong, but he was hippo-tized by the shiny object.
- My dream is to open a bakery for hippos. I’ll call it “The Hippo-patisserie.”
- Why are hippos so good at keeping secrets? They’re extremely hippo-critical.
- I wanted to become a veterinarian for hippos, but the school said I was over-hippo-fied.
- He’s so hippo-chondriacal, he thinks his yawn is a sign of hippo-thermia.
- The hippo was accused of plagiarism. Turns out, his ideas were just hippo-thetical.
- Why don’t hippos ever become chefs? They tend to hippo-glaze everything.
- “Excuse me,” said the hippo to the waiter. “This soup is cold. I demand a hippo-replacement.”
- What do you call a group of hippos singing? A hippo-pera, of course!
- I’m writing a children’s book about a tiny hippo. It’s called “The Adventures of Little Hippo-lyta.”
Funny ‘Hippo One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Hippo Jokes
- What do you call a hippopotamus that’s always second-guessing himself? A hippo-chondriac!
- You know, hippos are surprisingly good dancers… They’ve got all the right moo-ves!
- I wanted to open a hippopotamus-themed restaurant, but I couldn’t quite hippo-thamus together.
- A hippopotamus walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The hippo replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? He kept hippo-poppin’ off!
- What do you get if you cross a hippopotamus with an elk? I don’t know, but if it asks for your car keys, don’t give them to it!
- What’s a hippopotamus’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop, of course!
- Never play hide-and-seek with a hippopotamus… They’re experts at hippo-ting!
- I tried to explain to the hippo why stealing cars was wrong… but he was already in too deep.
- Why did the hippopotamus cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! (Just kidding, he was probably just hungry.)
- What do you call a hippopotamus that’s really good at math? A hippo-potamus of knowledge!
- What’s a one-legged hippopotamus’ favorite song? “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins!
- Did you hear about the hippopotamus who became a lawyer? He’s a real hippo-legal beagle!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs… and one hippo-crite!
- How do you make a hippopotamus float? With a glass of root beer and a scoop of hippo-potomos ice cream!
- I saw a hippopotamus wearing a raincoat the other day… I guess he was dressed for hippo-weather.
- Why are hippopotamuses so hard to understand? They only speak hippo-glyphic!
- I went to a zoo with only one dog in it… It was a shih tzu… dressed as a hippopotamus.
Hippo QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hippo
- Q: Why are hippos so bad at poker? A: They always get caught bluffing…because their bluff-o-meter is gigantic!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? A: I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to see it through a peephole!
- Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? A: Hip-Hop-o-potamus, of course!
- Q: Why did the baby hippo get in trouble at school? A: He kept hippo-popping off to the teacher!
- Q: What do you call a hippo who’s always eating? A: A hippo-chondriac! They think they’re always hungry.
- Q: Why did the hippo cross the road? A: To prove to the chicken it wasn’t chicken!
- Q: What do you call a one-legged hippo? A: Hoppo-potamus!
- Q: What do you call a hippo who wins a race? A: An un-hippo-lievable sight!
- Q: Why don’t hippos ever become chefs? A: Have you ever seen those stubby little fingers? They’re all thumbs!
- Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of car? A: A hippodrome-vertible!
- Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo lighter? A: One’s really heavy, and the other one’s a little lighter!
- Q: What did the hippo say after he finished eating his watermelon? A: “I’m feeling very melon-choly now.”
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! What does that have to do with hippos? Absolutely nothing, just keeping you on your toes!
- Q: Why did the hippo get lost on his trip? A: He forgot to pack his hippo-campus!
- Q: How do hippos say “see you later”? A: “Water you doing later, gotta go!”
- Q: What do you call a hippo that loves taking selfies? A: An Insta-hippo!
- Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “A Midsummer Night’s Steam,” it gets so muggy by the river!
- Q: Why did the hippo get sent to his room? A: He kept making hippo-critical statements about his siblings!
- Q: What do you call a group of singing hippos? A: A hippo-pera!
Dad Jokes About Hippo: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a baby hippo at the zoo today. He was such a little hippolump!
- What do you call a hippo that’s always losing things? A hippo-chondriac!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the zoo. They were so impressed, they called it an exhippit!
- Where do hippos keep their money? In the river bank, of course!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop!
- What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to hear it moose-ic!
- What do you call a one-legged hippo? A Hoppo-potamus!
- Why are hippos so good at poker? They’re experts at the hippo-drome!
- Why don’t hippos make good plumbers? They’re always getting water everywhere!
- How do you make a hippo float? Add one scoop of hippo, and one scoop of ice cream! It’s a hippo-float!
- Did you hear about the hippo that escaped from the zoo? They’re saying he’s armed and hippo-poto-dangerous!
- Why did the baby hippo cry? He missed his mama, the hippo-potomos!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of coffee? Hippopresso!
- Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- What do you get when a hippo joins a gym? A hippo-thetical situation, because they already weigh a ton!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of boat? A hip-hop-a-potamus!
- Never try to outrun a hippo. They’re surprisingly swift, and besides, you’ll be hippo-tized by their grace.
- I tried to make a hippo smoothie this morning. Turns out you need a really big blender!
Hippo Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the hippo get sent to detention? He kept hippo-ing around in class!
- What do you call a hippo that’s always losing its temper? A hippo-potamus!
- Why are hippos so good at hide-and-seek? Because they’re experts at hippo-ing!
- Where does a hippo go when it gets its hair done? The hippo-tometrist!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good hippo-rhythm!
- Why did the baby hippo cry? He wanted a hippo-p-pacifier!
- How does a hippo artist paint a picture? With a hippo-brush!
- What do you call a hippo that eats too much? A hippo-chon-dria!
- Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken… or a hippo-potamus!
- What do you get if you cross a hippo with a kangaroo? I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to box it!
- Why did the hippo get a job at the restaurant? He was a great tipper-potamus!
- What do you call a group of hippos that sing together? A hippo-pera!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite snack? Hippo-tato chips!
- What do you call a hippo that loves to win? A cham-hippo-n!
- Why did the hippo get in trouble at school? He kept writing on the walls with hippo-crayons!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite game to play in the mud? Hippo-scootch!
- What’s big, gray, and wears a mask? A hippo going to a party… that’s also a masquerade!
- Why are hippos so good at keeping secrets? They have hippo-critical oaths!
- What did the ocean say to the hippo? Nothing, it just waved!
Hippo Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the hippo get kicked out of the yoga class? Because he kept hippo-ing everyone else’s space!
- My friend tried to convince me that hippos love techno music. I told him that’s utterly hippo-critical, everyone knows they’re into smooth jazz.
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of coffee? Espress-oh-so good!
- Dating a hippo is tough. They’re always hungry, and the bills are hippo-thetical.
- Heard about the hippo who became a successful motivational speaker? Turns out he was a real hippo-potamus of inspiration!
- I tried to start a dating app for hippos, but it failed miserably. Turns out, they’re just too hippo-tentious.
- My therapist told me to channel my inner hippo. Now I’m even more afraid of my reflection.
- A hippo walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- Why don’t hippos ever win arguments? They always bring up irrelephant points.
- My friend said his new girlfriend is half-hippo. I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
- Just saw a hippo wearing a tiny hat and monocle. Talk about a hippo-critic!
- Never challenge a hippo to a staring contest. They’re incredibly hippo-notic.
- Why was the baby hippo so sad? He was feeling a little hippo-chon-drical.
- My boss told me to “be more hippo.” I guess he wants me to charge at people who annoy me.
- I tried to make hippo-shaped pancakes this morning, but they came out a disaster. Guess you could say they were hippo-terrible.
- Why don’t hippos ever go to the bank? They prefer to keep their money in a hippo-thetical savings account.
- The hippo refused to share his food at the zoo. Some might say he was being selfish, but I think he was just being hippo-litical.
- A group of hippos is called a bloat. But I prefer to call them a hippo-thesis of hippos.
- Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t just a hippo-thetical concept!
Hippo Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Why don’t hippos ever win arguments? Because they always have a sinking feeling.
- What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, obviously!
- My friend said hippos were really aggressiveβ¦ I said, “Hippo there, buddy. They’re just misunderstood.”
- What do you call a one-legged hippo? A Hop-po-potamus!
- Why are hippos so good at hide and seek? They’re experts at hippo-ting!
- What’s a hippo’s favorite social media platform? Insta-glam! (Because they’re always in the water)
- Why was the baby hippo crying? He was having a hippo-sterical meltdown.
- What do you call a hippo that’s always getting into trouble? A hippo-crite!
- Why are hippos so good at poker? They have four aces up their sleeve⦠and then some.
- Never make a bet with a hippo⦠The steaks are always too high.
- What do you call a hippo that loves to sing in the shower? A shower-potamus!
- I used to think hippos were herbivores⦠Turns out, I was hippo-thetically wrong.
- Why did the hippo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chickenβ¦or alligatorβ¦ or crocodileβ¦
- What’s a hippo’s favorite board game? Hungry, Hungry Hippos! (What else?)
- My teacher told me to write a report on the life cycle of a hippo⦠It was a lot of hippo-tension.
- Why don’t hippos ever go to the library? They’re afraid of getting carded for too many books! (Get it? “Carded” like wool?)
- What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? “A Midsummer Night’s Scream!”
- Just saw a hippo wearing a raincoat and boots⦠Guess he was ready for some hippo-thermal weather!
Hippo-ing you enjoyed these! π
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