109+ Rugby Jokes & Puns: You’ve Gotta Be Scrumthing Special To Get These!
Get ready to chuckle, because we’re diving into the scrum-ptious world of rugby jokes! π This list of the best rugby puns and humor is so funny, it’s practically illegal. π Whether you’re a seasoned prop or a curious kid, these clever jokes are sure to get you laughing. Get ready for some serious pun-ishment, because things are about to get rucking hilarious! π
Top Rugby Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tackles were high that day!
- What do you call a sheepdog that plays rugby? A try-herd!
- Why are rugby referees always so fit? They always stay ahead of the scrum-ptious players!
- What do you call a rugby player who’s always daydreaming? A scrum-half-asleep!
- A rugby player walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender says, “Hey, you got a steering wheel down your pants!” The player replies, “Yeah, it’s driving me nuts!”
- Why did the coach tell the rugby team to do their homework? So they could learn how to convert tries!
- How do you keep a rugby team entertained on a long bus ride? Give them a ruck-us to solve!
- Two rugby players walk past a bakery after a tough loss. One says, “Hey, wanna go in there and get something?” The other replies, “Nah, let’s just face the scones.”
- What happened when the rugby team started a baking competition? They all wanted to scrum-mage for the last cookie!
- Why are rugby teams so good at solving mysteries? They’re pros at following the line-out!
- What do you call a rugby team’s pre-game ritual? Getting rucking ready!
- Why did the rugby ball get lost in the library? It was looking for the try-angle!
- You know you’ve been watching too much rugby when… You start calling your coworkers “mate” even though they’re from Ohio.
- Why are rugby players such bad dancers? Because their idea of a “box step” is a whole different level of footwork.

Clever Rugby Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tackles were high!
- I tried to explain rugby to a seagull, but I think he was just winging it.
- Rugby players are known for their strong scents. They always smell scrumdiddlyumptious!
- You know you’re a true rugby fan when you can predict the try-umphant team just by the way they ruck and maul.
- That rugby player is always getting penalized. He’s got a real chip on his shoulder pad!
- The rugby player refused to do any push-ups. He said they were too scrum-my!
- Being a referee for a children’s rugby game is easy. It’s all scrummages and giggles!
- I met a rugby player who could score from anywhere on the field. Turns out, he was a real line-out specialist.
- Don’t be afraid to try out for the rugby team. They’re always looking for new talent…and someone to scrum with!
- I tried to have a serious conversation with a rugby player during a match, but he was always passing the buck!
- What position do ghosts play in rugby? Spook-er!
- Did you hear about the rugby player who opened a bakery? He specializes in scrum-licious pastries!
- There’s a new dating app specifically for rugby players. It’s called Scrum-thing in Common!
- My friend claims he invented a new rugby position. He calls it the “Couch.” I told him that position has been filled!
Funny Rugby One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Rugby Jokes
- I tried to explain rugby to a hipster… but it just went right over his beard.
- My wife told me to take the spider webs down or else… I told her I’m saving them for the next rugby match.
- Don’t ever ask a rugby player to catch something fragile… their hands are always scrummaging for something.
- What do you call a sheepdog that plays rugby? A try-harder.
- I used to be a rugby player, but I had to give it up. The pressure was scrumthing awful.
- A rugby player walks into a library looking for books about paranoia… The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- I’m making a documentary about rugby players with kleptomania. It’s tackling a lot of issues.
- You know you’ve watched too much rugby when you start tackling your grocery cart in the cereal aisle.
- I went to a rugby game where the players were invisible. I’ve never seen such a scrummage.
- Why did the rugby player fail his driving test? He kept trying to convert the roundabout.
- What’s the least exciting position in rugby? The benchwarmer. They never get a scrumdiddlyumptious play.
- I saw a rugby player reading a dictionary. He was looking for the definition of “try”.
- Why did the rugby player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie up the score.
- What do you get if you cross a rugby player and a mime? I don’t know, but you’d better try and scrummaging avoid it.
- Life is like a rugby game: You need a good scrum to handle what life throws at you.
Rugby QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Rugby
- Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the game? > Because he heard the tackles were going to be high!
- What’s a rugby player’s favorite type of tea? > Penal-tea!
- What happens when you cross a rugby player with a werewolf? > I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to be their scrum-half on a full moon.
- Why couldn’t the pirates play rugby? > They got caught try-ing!
- Why are rugby players such good mathematicians? > They know how to convert tries!
- What position do ghosts play in rugby? > Spooker-back!
- Why did the rugby ball quit its job? > It was tired of being kicked around!
- Did you hear about the rugby player who was a kleptomaniac? > He got caught trying to steal the scrum!
- Why did the rugby team go to the bank? > To get their try-scoring bonus!
- What’s the difference between a rugby player and a pizza? > A pizza can feed a family of four.
- Why is a rugby game like a tea party? > Because thereβs always a lot of scrum-ptious snacks!
- What music do rugby players listen to before a match? > Anything they scrum-like!
- What do you get when you combine a kangaroo and a rugby player? > Someone who can kick the ball out of the stadium!
- Why was the rugby coach yelling “Cows!” “Sheep!” “Pigs!”? > He was trying to round up a forward pack!
- What do you call a rugby team with no forwards? > Easy to beat!
Dad Jokes About Rugby: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the rugby player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tackles were going to be high!
- I tried to explain rugby to a pirate… But he kept asking me, “Where’s the scrum, matey?”
- What do you call a rugby player who can’t catch? Retired!
- Why did the rugby ball go to the bank? To get its quarter back!
- My wife told me to take the rugby trash talk out. So, I took it out… for a pint!
- What do you call a sheep that loves rugby? A baaaa-ll carrier!
- I told my son I used to be a rugby player. He said, “Show me your tries!” I said, “They were back in the ’80s, you wouldn’t remember them.”
- Did you hear about the rugby player who was also a magician? He could convert tries⦠into points!
- What’s a rugby player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
- Why don’t they play rugby in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- I used to date a rugby player, but it didn’t work out… Turns out, he was always mauling the scrum-ptious ones!
- The rugby team had a floral emblem. I guess you could say they were⦠scrum-thing special!
- Where do rugby players dance? A scrum-ptious ball!
- I’m writing a book about rugby… It’s a real page-turner!
- Why are rugby players so tough? Because they scrum through any problem!
Rugby Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the rugby ball go to the bank? To get a try!
- Where do rugby players dance? At a scrum-thing!
- What position do ghosts play in rugby? Spooker-flanker!
- Why couldn’t the rugby player listen to music? He broke all his tackles!
- What’s a rugby player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
- What kind of tree do rugby players climb? Try-umphant trees!
- Where do sick rugby balls go? The hospital scrum-bulance!
- Why was the rugby ball so lonely? It had no-body!
- What do you call a sheep that plays rugby? A baaaaaaaa-ll carrier!
- What’s a rugby player’s favorite kind of candy? Scrum-diddlyumptious!
- Why did the rugby coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back!
- What do you call a muddy rugby game? A scrum-ptious mess!
- Why did the rugby player bring soap to the game? So he could try harder!
- What do you call a retired rugby player? A try-hard! (But don’t tell them that!)
- How do you know a rugby player’s at your door? They knock with a try!
Rugby Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired rugby player take up gardening? He missed getting down in the scrum-ptious soil.
- You know youβre getting old whenβ¦ The only tackling you do is in the grocery store when they’re out of your prune juice.
- My grandson tried explaining cryptocurrency to me using rugby as an example. I just nodded along, but frankly, it sounded like a load of forwards to me.
- Heard about the new retirement home that opened right next to the rugby pitch? They say itβs scrum-ptious living.
- I told my doctor I wanted to start playing rugby again. He said, “At your age? What’s the conversion rate on that?”
- Retirement is like a game of rugby. You spend the first half wondering what youβre doing, and the second half wishing you could do it all again.
- My friend told me Iβve got to watch this new documentary about the history of rugby. I said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got the time.”
- Back in my day, rugby players didn’t need fancy mouthguards. We just had strong gums and a healthy disregard for our teeth.
- What do you call a group of elderly rugby players reminiscing about their glory days? A scrum-mage sale.
- Wife caught me watching a rugby match from 1982. She said, βWhy are you watching this old game?β I said, βBecause I havenβt seen this one yet!β
- Why are ruggers so good at poker? Bluffing comes naturally to them after spending years pretending not to see the ref.
- I told my physical therapist I wanted legs like I had in my rugby days. He said, “Sir, we specialize in realistic goals.”
- The only thing harder than playing rugby is watching your grandkids play rugby. All that worry, and you canβt even join in!
- I tried explaining to my grandson that rugby is a game of two halves. He just rolled his eyes and went back to his TikTok. Kids these days…
- I may be getting older, but at least I can still tell you the score of the 1995 Rugby World Cup final. What was I talking about again? Ah, never mind…
Rugby Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried explaining rugby to a hipster…they just wouldn’t scrummage it. #rugbylife #toohypoforthis π§ββοΈπ
- What’s a rugby player’s favorite beverage? Try…a scrum-tious IPA, of course! #rugbylove #beeroclock π»
- Just saw a streaker run across the rugby pitch during a tense scrum. Guess you could say things reallyβ¦unraveled. #rugbychaos #cantmakethisup π³π€£
- My dating life is like a rugby scrumβ¦ a lot of pushing and shoving, and someone always ends up disappointed. #rugbylovelife #singleandreadytoscrum ππ
- I went to a rugby game and the ref kept blowing his whistle for no reason. Turned outβ¦ it was just his try-umphant theme song. #rugbyref #egoinflated πΆπ
- What do you call a rugby team made entirely of clowns? The scrum-de-la-clowns, naturally! #rugbycircus #punnyandproud π€‘π
- You know you’re a true rugby fan when you can correctly pronounce βLlanelliβ on the first try. #rugbychallenge #welshpower πͺπ£οΈ
- Just saw a rugby player walking his dogβ¦ but he used a lamppost as a goalpost. Guess you can take the player off the pitch, butβ¦ #rugbylife πππ
- Heard there’s a new dating app exclusively for rugby players. Itβs called “Scrumthing Casual.” #rugbylove #swipeleft π±β€οΈ
- My friend said he was going to quit rugby to become a baker. I said, “Don’t be a scrumummy, youβre a natural on the field!β #rugbydreams #bakelater π₯πͺ
Try These Puns On For Scrum Size! ππ
We hope these rugby jokes have tickled your funny bone more than a loose scrum! If you’re still hungry for laughs, scrum on over to our website for more punny plays and side-splitting humor. We promise, it’s no joke!