102+ Kermit Jokes & Puns: It’s Not Easy Bein’ Punny!

🐸 Get ready to jump for joy with the best Kermit jokes this side of the swamp! πŸ˜‚ We’ve got a ribbiting list of puns and humor that’s perfect for kids and adults alike. So, hop on in and get ready for some clever and funny Kermit moments. This is one list of jokes you won’t want to miss! πŸ˜‰

Top Kermit Jokes – Best Picks

  1. Why did Kermit get a job at the bank? He was great at handling the “green” stuff!
  2. What did Kermit say at his comedy show? “It’s not easy being green, but it sure is fun being funny!”
  3. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of tea? Decaf-inated. He’s already got enough energy!
  4. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the library? He heard they had some good croaking shelves.
  5. Why doesn’t Kermit like to gamble? The stakes are too high when you’re already green!
  6. What’s green, slimy, and writes poetry? Edgar Allan Poe-llywog, Kermit’s cousin!
  7. Kermit’s dating profile says he’s looking for someone who’s: “Down-to-earth, but appreciates a good swamp.”
  8. What do you call it when Kermit gets a parking ticket? Toadally unfair!
  9. Why did Miss Piggy break up with Kermit? He kept frog-etting their anniversary!
  10. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Anything but “Croak and Roll”!
  11. Why is Kermit such a good baseball player? He’s a natural at catching flies!
  12. What did Kermit say when he became a detective? “Time to solve this case, and I’ve got a toadly good feeling about it!”
  13. Why don’t they play poker in the swamp? Because Kermit keeps croaking everyone else’s bluff!
  14. What’s Kermit’s motto? “Never give up on your dreams, even if they seem a little… far-fetched.”
Ultimate collection of Best Kermit Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever Kermit Puns – Best Picks

  1. Feeling stressed? Don’t ker-mit to the pressure. Take a break!
  2. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of tea? Anything but de-caffeinated, it makes him jumpy!
  3. That new detective frog is really good at his job. They call him Kermit Holmes.
  4. Kermit’s trying to start a rock band. He just needs to find a bass player and a drummer, then they’ll really be Muppet Rockers.
  5. I tried to make Kermit a cake, but I accidentally used salt instead of sugar. It was a terrible ker-stake!
  6. Don’t tell Kermit what you really think of his banjo playing. He’s a little sensitive, and you might ker-rupture his self-esteem.
  7. Kermit wanted to be a sculptor, but he could only ker-mit to making small amphibians.
  8. Kermit decided to become a comedian. Turns out, he’s a really funny frog. He’s got everyone ker-kering with laughter.
  9. I saw Kermit at the flea market yesterday. He was looking for a ker-mic clock for his lily pad.
  10. Kermit got lost in the woods! Luckily, he was able to find his way back to the swamp using his ker-pass.
  11. Kermit’s favorite Shakespeare play? Romeo and Frog-liet, of course!
  12. Kermit’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop… he loves listening to Ker-mit the Frog and the Muppet Crew!
  13. Kermit’s going on a tropical vacation! He’s tired of feeling stressed and wants to just sit on the beach and ker-chill.
  14. Kermit tried to write a mystery novel, but he couldn’t think of a good ending. He just couldn’t ker-mit to an idea.
  15. Life is like a Kermit song… sometimes happy, sometimes sad, but always full of heart.
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Funny Kermit One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Kermit Jokes

  1. Kermit wanted to learn how to make glass so he could see what it was like to be a frog in a blender, but then he realized, he’d still be green.
  2. I tried to explain to my girlfriend why Kermit broke up with Miss Piggy, but she just looked at me and said, “That’s none of your froggin’ business!”
  3. Kermit started a successful self-help business, it turns out being green IS easy.
  4. Dating a puppet is hard, Kermit just couldn’t string Miss Piggy along any longer.
  5. Feeling down? Just remember, even Kermit got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame… and he did it without moving his legs.
  6. Kermit’s dating profile said, β€œLooking for someone who loves long walks in the swamp… or at least someone who can tolerate the humidity.”
  7. Never borrow money from Kermit the Frog, he’s always a little green.
  8. Kermit wanted to join the orchestra, said he was an expert on the amphibi-brass section.
  9. What do you call it when Kermit loses his mind? A frog out of his mind!
  10. I bet Kermit’s favorite video game is Frogger. Gets him right in the feels.
  11. Kermit started a successful tech company. Their motto? “It ain’t easy bein’ green, but it sure is profitable.”
  12. Kermit’s life advice: Always take the high road… unless there’s a tasty bug on the low road.
  13. Kermit’s new hip-hop album, “Straight Outta the Swamp,” is fire.
  14. Kermit tried to warn everyone about the dangers of climate change, but they said he was just being a drama queen.

Kermit QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Kermit

  1. Q: Why did Kermit refuse to go skydiving with Miss Piggy? A: He knew it would end in a Muppet catastrophe!
  2. Q: What did Kermit say when he pitched his autobiography? A: It’s a real ribbitter!
  3. Q: Why did Kermit get a job at the bank? A: He was great at handling greens.
  4. Q: What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but croak rock.
  5. Q: What did Kermit say to the frog fashion police? A: “Suit yourselves!”
  6. Q: Why did Kermit get lost in the woods? A: He took the toad less traveled by.
  7. Q: What’s Kermit’s favorite Shakespearean play? A: “Romeo and Frog-liet.”
  8. Q: What did Kermit say after winning the swamp-diving competition? A: “Easy as pie…or should I say, fly?”
  9. Q: Why doesn’t Kermit like telling secrets in a vegetable garden? A: Too many leeks!
  10. Q: What’s Kermit’s favorite type of shoes? A: Open-toad sandals.
  11. Q: Why was Kermit so good at poker? A: He had a great poker frog.
  12. Q: What did Kermit say to the heckler in the audience? A: “That’s enough, ribbiter!”
  13. Q: What’s green and likes to play tricks on April 1st? A: Ker-mit the Prankster!
  14. Q: What did Kermit say when he caught a cold? A: “It’s just a frog in my throat… seriously, though, I need some tea.”
  15. Q: Why is Kermit such a good listener? A: He’s all ears… all two of them!
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Dad Jokes About Kermit: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I tried to explain to my son that Kermit is a puppet, but he just wouldn’t hear it. He said, “No, Dad, that’s just ribbeting!”
  2. Kermit wanted to open a French bakery, but he only knew how to make one thing… croissant rolls.
  3. Did you hear about Kermit’s job at the diner? He was a fry cook, but he kept getting fired for hopping between tasks!
  4. What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit when he proposed at the beach? “Shell we?”
  5. Why was Kermit uncomfortable dating Miss Piggy at first? He found her a little boar-ing!
  6. Kermit started a band with a bunch of frogs. They’re called “The Ribbiters,” and they’re really making a splash!
  7. Why did Kermit get a job at the library? He heard they had millions of open books!
  8. I saw Kermit at the gym today, he was lifting weights. Apparently, he’s trying to get ripped-ile muscles!
  9. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Anything but croak and roll!
  10. Why did Kermit become a comedian? He was tired of just being a frog on the wall!
  11. What’s green and loves to play baseball? Kermit the Frog-catcher!
  12. Kermit wanted to open a detective agency, but he could never keep a secret… He was a total blabbermouth!
  13. Why was Kermit such a bad poker player? He had a tell. Every time he was bluffing, his nose would twitch!

Kermit Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did Kermit get a job at the construction site? Because he’s a master brick-layer!
  2. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good “ribbit”!
  3. Kermit went to the doctor feeling green. What did the doctor say? “It’s okay, Kermit, you’ve just been under a lot of pressure lately!”
  4. Why didn’t Kermit want to share his cookies? He was being a little green monster!
  5. What did Kermit say to his pet snail? “You’re one slimy character, but I like you!”
  6. Why is Kermit such a good baseball player? He’s got amazing frog-legs!
  7. What’s Kermit’s favorite board game? Croak-quet!
  8. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Kermit. Kermit who? Kermit a crime, you’re under arrest for stealing all the laughs!
  9. What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog? Kermit the Pup-pet!
  10. Where does Kermit keep his money? In a river bank!
  11. Why did Kermit cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  12. What’s green on the outside and sings on the inside? Kermit the Frog!
  13. What’s Kermit’s favorite drink? Croaka-cola!
  14. Why didn’t Kermit like his new car? It had a frog in the headlights!

Kermit Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. Why did Kermit refuse the starring role in “The Muppet Christmas Carol?” He thought playing Scrooge would be too much of a stretch.
  2. Kermit the Frog walks into a bank, approaches the teller, and says, “I’d like to withdraw \$10,000… and I know about the rubber chicken.” The teller, flustered, whispers, “Sir, we don’t have rubber chickens here. You must have us confused with…” Kermit cuts him off, leans in conspiratorially and croaks, β€œRibbit, ribbit… Just thought I’d test the waters.”
  3. You know, Kermit’s been feeling his age lately. This morning he woke up with a hop in his back.
  4. Why was Kermit feeling so zen? He finally learned to accept that life leap-frogs forward.
  5. Kermit’s stock portfolio took a dive last week. Turns out, investing in fly-by-night companies wasn’t a sound strategy.
  6. Heard about Kermit’s brief stint as a stand-up comedian? Let’s just say his act was a little too… green.
  7. What’s Kermit’s least favorite poker hand? A full houseboat.
  8. Breaking news: Kermit arrested for tax fraud! Apparently, he’s been living a double life as a swamp-land tycoon.
  9. Why did Miss Piggy break up with Kermit? She finally realized she couldn’t live with a partner who always ribbited what she said.
  10. What’s green, wrinkly, and hangs out in bars? Kermit after a long week.
  11. They say Kermit’s memoir is brutally honest and full of juicy gossip. I hear he really croaks open some old wounds.
  12. Kermit is surprisingly good at poker. He has mastered his poker face.
  13. Why is Kermit such a good listener? Because he’s all ears… and eyes… well, you get the picture.
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Kermit Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. Just saw Kermit at the bank depositing a huge paycheck. Guess being the voice of a frog really pays off! πŸΈπŸ’°
  2. Kermit’s life motto? β€œIt’s not easy being green… but it’s definitely environ-mintal!” 😎🌎
  3. What’s Kermit’s favorite dating app? Ribbit! πŸ˜‰πŸ“±
  4. Kermit started a podcast where he interviews famous amphibians. It’s called β€œCroak-cast” πŸŽ™οΈπŸΈ
  5. You know you’re addicted to memes when you see Kermit sipping tea and automatically think, “But that’s none of my business.” 🐸🍡🐸
  6. Why did Kermit get a job at the library? He’s great at story-telling! πŸ“šπŸΈ
  7. My therapist told me to be more like Kermit. So I bought a banjo and now I only speak in heartfelt songs. πŸͺ•πŸŽ€
  8. Kermit’s new hip-hop album is πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯. He calls himself Lil’ Green 🎀🐸
  9. Breaking News: Kermit the Frog’s autobiography, “It’s Not Easy Being Green: A Muppet’s Memoir,” hits shelves next week. Get ready to hop on that preorder! πŸ“–πŸΈ
  10. What’s green, loves rainbows, and can’t swim? Kermit the Frog in a splash zone! πŸŒˆπŸΈπŸ’¦
  11. Why doesn’t Kermit like conflict? It makes him jumpy! πŸΈπŸƒβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’¨
  12. Kermit’s always upbeat because he knows: Every day is a fresh start… especially if you ribbit! πŸΈβ˜€οΈ ✨

That’s All, Folks! It’s Been Ribbiting! 🐸

And that’s our swamp, er, we mean roundup, of the ribbiting-est Kermit jokes and puns! We’re sure you’re hopping mad with laughter by now. But don’t worry, there’s plenty more punny fun where that came from! Explore our website for a whole lily pad of jokes that will have you croaking with laughter.

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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