94+ Touchdown Jokes & Puns: Get Ready to Score Big Laughs!
Get ready to laugh your cleats off! 😂 This isn’t your average list of jokes, folks – we’re bringing you the best touchdown puns and humor this side of the goalpost. Whether you’re a seasoned comedian or just looking for some clever puns for kids, 🤪 this list has something for everyone. 🏈 Get ready for a touchdown of laughter with these hilarious wordplays! 🤣
Clever Touchdown Puns – Top Picks
- Feeling down? Score a touchdown!
- Touchdown: The only time you want someone tackled.
- Can’t touch this touchdown. It’s mine!
- Touchdown: Instant happiness, guaranteed.
- That play was pure touchdown artistry!
- Relationship status: In love with touchdowns.
- Touchdowns: Worth celebrating, always.
- Touchdown dances? I’ve got ’em on tap!
- Forget retail therapy, I need a touchdown.
- Warning: Excessive touchdowns may occur.
- Touchdown: The ultimate pick-me-up.
- This game is lit! Touchdown after touchdown!
- Life is short, celebrate every touchdown.
- Keep calm and touchdown on.
- Touchdown: Because winning feels amazing!
Top Touchdown Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the football quit playing? It was tired of being kicked around and wanted to touchdown on a new career path.
- What’s a quarterback’s favorite airline? Anything that guarantees a smooth touchdown.
- Did you hear about the football player who was also a sculptor? He was really good at making touchdown figures.
- Why are football players always so calm? Because they’re trained to touchdown in high-pressure situations.
- What do you call a touchdown that’s also a type of soup? A touchdown gazpacho. 🌶️
- How does a ghost score? With a spooky touchdown. 👻
- What did the receiver say to the football? “Catch you on the touchdown side!”
- My friend tried to tell me football is easy, just score more touchdowns. I told him that was a touchdown simplistic.
- Why don’t they play football in the jungle? Too many cheetahs trying to get a touchdown. 🐆
- I’m writing a song about touchdowns. It’s got a really catchy touchdown. 🎶
- What’s a quarterback’s favorite dance move? The touchdown shuffle! 🕺
- Why was the touchdown so emotional? It was a real touchdown moment. 😭
- Did you hear about the shy football? It was too embarrassed to get a touchdown. 😳
- What position do ghosts play in football? Spookerback… because they’re always trying to get a spooky touchdown. 👻
Funny Touchdown One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Touchdown Jokes
- Did you hear about the airplane pilot who was scared of heights? His biggest fear was touchdown!
- The football player told his therapist, “Everything feels so temporary in my life.” The therapist replied, “Can you give me an example?” He said, “Well, take touchdowns, for instance…”
- I’m writing a song about touchdowns, but I can’t seem to get past the chorus.
- What do you call it when a ghost scores a touchdown? A haunting victory.
- My friend tried to invent a “touchdown detector,” but it never really took off.
- I used to be addicted to touchdowns, but I’m slowly getting back on my feet.
- The football player was so superstitious, he always carried a rabbit’s foot for good luck. He called it his “touchdown talisman.”
- The football coach was a real yogi. He said the key to scoring touchdowns was inner peace.
- Why did the football go to the bank? To get a touchdown loan!
- Breaking news: The local bakery has started making edible touchdowns! They say they’re selling like hotcakes.
- I’m opening a spa that’s dedicated to football players. It’s called “Touchdown and Relax.”
- A touchdown a day keeps the doctor away… unless you’re the quarterback getting sacked.
- I tried to order a touchdown online, but it said it was out of stock. Guess they’re really popular this time of year!
- My friend said he could predict who would score the next touchdown. I told him, “Don’t tell me, let me touchdown about it.”
Touchdown QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Touchdown
- Q: Why did the football quit playing in the game? A: It was feeling deflated after too many incomplete touch downs.
- Q: What did the touchdown say to the extra point? A: You’re one point I can always count on!
- Q: What do you call a touchdown celebration that goes horribly wrong? A: An end zone fumble.
- Q: Why was the touchdown dance so controversial? A: It was considered excessive end-zoning.
- Q: What do you call a football player who’s always dreaming of touchdowns? A: A wide receiver with aspirations.
- Q: What did the touchdown say to the defender? A: Better luck next down!
- Q: How do you know when a touchdown is really impressive? A: Even the opposing team’s fans give it a standing ovation.
- Q: Why was the football player always late to practice? A: He kept touchdown on the snooze button.
- Q: How did the touchdown celebrate its victory? A: It spiked itself a glass of juice.
- Q: Why don’t they serve cocktails at football games? A: Because everyone would want a “Touchdown-tini”!
- Q: What’s a football player’s favorite dance move? A: The touchdown twirl!
- Q: How do you congratulate a team on their touchdown streak? A: Give them a high five… and then another one for every touchdown!
Dad Jokes About Touchdown: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son to name his fantasy football team “Touchdown.” He said, “Nah, too obvious.” I told him, “Don’t worry, it’s a bit of an end zone secret.”
- Why do football players love attending weddings? They’re always excited to see the bride score her final touchdown!
- Why was the football player always fumbling? He kept dropping the soap in the touchdown celebrations!
- What’s the opposite of a touchdown? A touch…up? Seriously, someone explain makeup to me.
- You can tell a real football fan because they touchdown their nachos to their dip at least three times.
- What’s the difference between a touchdown and a toddler? One scores points on a field, the other scores points in their diaper.
- I thought about becoming a referee, you know, signaling touchdowns. Turns out, I just really like using hand signals to ask for more chips.
- Why aren’t touchdown dances very creative anymore? I blame it on all the “instant replay-views.” No spontaneity!
- I invented a new football move called “The Reverse Touchdown.” You just hand the ball to the opposing team and run the other way! They love it.
- Never ask a football player what comes after a touchdown. They’ll talk your ear off about extra points!
- I tried to write a song about touchdowns, but I couldn’t find the right notes. Maybe I should stick to cheering?
- A touchdown is like a good barbecue – always better with a little sauce!
- I’m writing a book about touchdowns…it’s a real page-turner!
- Why don’t they ever build swimming pools next to football fields? Because the players keep doing cannonballs into the endzone!
Touchdown Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why was the football field always wet? Because the quarterback kept throwing touchdowns! 💦
- What does a ghost say after scoring a touchdown? “Boo-yah!”👻
- What did the touchdown say to the football? “Catch you later!”🏈
- Why did the football quit playing? It was tired of being touched down all the time! 😅
- What do you call a bear who scores a touchdown? A touch🐻down!
- What’s a referee’s favorite dance? The touch-down-step! 🕺
- Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! 😂💰
- What did the receiver say to the football? “Lettuce celebrate your touchdown with a salad!”🥬
- Where do football players dance? At a foot ball! 🦶 🎶
- What kind of tree do they plant on a football field? A touch-down-der tree! 🌳
- Why do field goal kickers always bring strings to the game? In case they need to tie the score! 🧵
- What did the ocean say to the beach? “Nothing, it just waved!” 👋🌊
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!🌶️
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed! 🧸
Touchdown Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My retirement plan is like a Hail Mary pass… It’s all about that last minute touchdown!
- I told my grandkids about my fantasy football team’s latest touchdown… They said, “That’s great, Grandpa, but what’s fantasy football?”
- Honey, you know you’ve scored a touchdown in marriage when… The argument ends with, “You’re right, dear.”
- I’m not as nimble as I used to be. These days, getting off the couch feels like a touchdown celebration. And the crowd goes wild!
- My doctor told me to increase my daily steps. Now, every trip to the bathroom feels like a touchdown.
- Back in my day, a touchdown was worth six points, and we liked it that way! We also walked uphill both ways in the snow.
- You know you’re old when watching the game from your recliner feels just like being in the stadium. Especially if you spill your drink celebrating a touchdown.
- My grandson tried to explain Bitcoin to me. I said, “Son, the only touchdown I understand is on a football field.”
- My joints pop more than the champagne in a Super Bowl locker room after a touchdown.
- Finding my glasses this morning felt like winning the Super Bowl! It was a real game-changer. Touchdown!
- Remember when players used to celebrate a touchdown with a simple handshake? Now they need a choreographed dance routine.
- I tried to explain to my wife that the Super Bowl touchdown was “instinct.” She said, “So was forgetting to take out the trash.”
- My grandkids think I watch football for the touchdowns. Little do they know, it’s the commercials I’m really after. Now, where did I put my prune juice?
- Retirement is the touchdown of life – you’ve reached the end zone… Now what are you going to do with all that free time?
- Aging is inevitable, but forgetting where you put the TV remote during a touchdown? That’s just tragic.
Touchdown Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Did you hear about the football player who was also a masseuse? He really knew how to give a good touchdown. 😏
- I tried to come up with a football pun, but I fumbled it. Give me a touchdown if you’ve got something better! 🏈
- What does a touchdown celebration and a good hair day have in common? They’re both about the end zone. 😂
- “Touchdown!” – Said no pilot, ever. ✈️
- My dating life is like trying to score a touchdown in a blizzard… A lot of slipping and sliding, and no clear winner. 😭
- I’m not saying I’m clumsy, but I once got a touchdown penalty for excessive celebration… after catching a bus. 🚌
- My bank account after payday is like a football game… Short-lived touchdown followed by a long, drawn-out defeat. 💰
- Just saw a ghost scoring a touchdown. Guess you could say he really put the “boo” in touchdown. 👻
- Relationship Status: Waiting for someone to catch my feelings like a game-winning touchdown. ❤️
- Always aim for the end zone, whether it’s on the field or in life. Touchdown or bust! 💪
- I’m so broke, my credit card company called a “touchdown” when I made a $5 payment. 😩
- Sleep is my love language. Every night is a touchdown. 😴
- Life is like American football: You need a good strategy, a strong team, and someone to blame when you don’t get that touchdown. 😉
- That awkward moment you yell “Touchdown!” at a soccer game… and realize nobody else is impressed. 😬 ⚽
