94+ Touchdown Jokes & Puns: Get Ready to Score Big Laughs!
Get ready to laugh your cleats off! 😂 This isn’t your average list of jokes, folks – we’re bringing you the best touchdown puns and humor this side of the goalpost. Whether you’re a seasoned comedian or just looking for some clever puns for kids, 🤪 this list has something for everyone. 🏈 Get ready for a touchdown of laughter with these hilarious wordplays! 🤣
Clever Touchdown Puns – Top Picks
Feeling down? Score a touchdown!
Touchdown: The only time you want someone tackled.
Can’t touch this touchdown. It’s mine!
Touchdown: Instant happiness, guaranteed.
That play was pure touchdown artistry!
Relationship status: In love with touchdowns.
Touchdowns: Worth celebrating, always.
Touchdown dances? I’ve got ’em on tap!
Forget retail therapy, I need a touchdown.
Warning: Excessive touchdowns may occur.
Touchdown: The ultimate pick-me-up.
This game is lit! Touchdown after touchdown!
Life is short, celebrate every touchdown.
Keep calm and touchdown on.
Touchdown: Because winning feels amazing!
Top Touchdown Jokes – Best Picks
Why did the football quit playing? It was tired of being kicked around and wanted to touchdown on a new career path.
What’s a quarterback’s favorite airline? Anything that guarantees a smooth touchdown.
Did you hear about the football player who was also a sculptor? He was really good at making touchdown figures.
Why are football players always so calm? Because they’re trained to touchdown in high-pressure situations.
What do you call a touchdown that’s also a type of soup? A touchdown gazpacho. 🌶️
How does a ghost score? With a spooky touchdown. 👻
What did the receiver say to the football? “Catch you on the touchdown side!”
My friend tried to tell me football is easy, just score more touchdowns. I told him that was a touchdown simplistic.
Why don’t they play football in the jungle? Too many cheetahs trying to get a touchdown. 🐆
I’m writing a song about touchdowns. It’s got a really catchy touchdown. 🎶
What’s a quarterback’s favorite dance move? The touchdown shuffle! 🕺
Why was the touchdown so emotional? It was a real touchdown moment. 😭
Did you hear about the shy football? It was too embarrassed to get a touchdown. 😳
What position do ghosts play in football? Spookerback… because they’re always trying to get a spooky touchdown. 👻
Funny Touchdown One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Touchdown Jokes
The football player told his therapist, “Everything feels so temporary in my life.” The therapist replied, “Can you give me an example?” He said, “Well, take touchdowns, for instance…”
I’m writing a song about touchdowns, but I can’t seem to get past the chorus.
What do you call it when a ghost scores a touchdown? A haunting victory.
My friend tried to invent a “touchdown detector,” but it never really took off.
I used to be addicted to touchdowns, but I’m slowly getting back on my feet.
The football player was so superstitious, he always carried a rabbit’s foot for good luck. He called it his “touchdown talisman.”
Why did the football go to the bank? To get a touchdown loan!
Breaking news: The local bakery has started making edible touchdowns! They say they’re selling like hotcakes.
A touchdown a day keeps the doctor away… unless you’re the quarterback getting sacked.
I tried to order a touchdown online, but it said it was out of stock. Guess they’re really popular this time of year!
My friend said he could predict who would score the next touchdown. I told him, “Don’t tell me, let me touchdown about it.”
Touchdown QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Touchdown
Q: Why did the football quit playing in the game? A: It was feeling deflated after too many incomplete touch downs.
Q: What did the touchdown say to the extra point? A: You’re one point I can always count on!
Q: What do you call a touchdown celebration that goes horribly wrong? A: An end zone fumble.
Q: Why was the touchdown dance so controversial? A: It was considered excessive end-zoning.
Q: What do you call a football player who’s always dreaming of touchdowns? A: A wide receiver with aspirations.
Q: What did the touchdown say to the defender? A: Better luck next down!
Q: How do you know when a touchdown is really impressive? A: Even the opposing team’s fans give it a standing ovation.
Q: Why was the football player always late to practice? A: He kept touchdown on the snooze button.
Q: Why don’t they serve cocktails at football games? A: Because everyone would want a “Touchdown-tini”!
Q: What’s a football player’s favorite dance move? A: The touchdown twirl!
Q: How do you congratulate a team on their touchdown streak? A: Give them a high five… and then another one for every touchdown!
Dad Jokes About Touchdown: Pun-Filled Quips
I told my son to name his fantasy football team “Touchdown.” He said, “Nah, too obvious.” I told him, “Don’t worry, it’s a bit of an end zone secret.”
Why do football players love attending weddings? They’re always excited to see the bride score her final touchdown!
Why was the football player always fumbling? He kept dropping the soap in the touchdown celebrations!
What’s the opposite of a touchdown? A touch…up? Seriously, someone explain makeup to me.
You can tell a real football fan because they touchdown their nachos to their dip at least three times.
What’s the difference between a touchdown and a toddler? One scores points on a field, the other scores points in their diaper.
Why aren’t touchdown dances very creative anymore? I blame it on all the “instant replay-views.” No spontaneity!
I invented a new football move called “The Reverse Touchdown.” You just hand the ball to the opposing team and run the other way! They love it.
Never ask a football player what comes after a touchdown. They’ll talk your ear off about extra points!
I tried to write a song about touchdowns, but I couldn’t find the right notes. Maybe I should stick to cheering?
A touchdown is like a good barbecue – always better with a little sauce!
I’m writing a book about touchdowns…it’s a real page-turner!
Why don’t they ever build swimming pools next to football fields? Because the players keep doing cannonballs into the endzone!
Touchdown Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why was the football field always wet? Because the quarterback kept throwing touchdowns! 💦
What does a ghost say after scoring a touchdown? “Boo-yah!”👻
What did the touchdown say to the football? “Catch you later!”🏈
Why did the football quit playing? It was tired of being touched down all the time! 😅
What do you call a bear who scores a touchdown? A touch🐻down!
What’s a referee’s favorite dance? The touch-down-step! 🕺
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! 😂💰
What did the receiver say to the football? “Lettuce celebrate your touchdown with a salad!”🥬
Where do football players dance? At a foot ball! 🦶 🎶
What kind of tree do they plant on a football field? A touch-down-der tree! 🌳
What did the ocean say to the beach? “Nothing, it just waved!” 👋🌊
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!🌶️
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed! 🧸
Touchdown Jokes and Puns for Elders
My retirement plan is like a Hail Mary pass… It’s all about that last minute touchdown!
I told my grandkids about my fantasy football team’s latest touchdown… They said, “That’s great, Grandpa, but what’s fantasy football?”
Honey, you know you’ve scored a touchdown in marriage when… The argument ends with, “You’re right, dear.”
My doctor told me to increase my daily steps. Now, every trip to the bathroom feels like a touchdown.
Back in my day, a touchdown was worth six points, and we liked it that way! We also walked uphill both ways in the snow.
You know you’re old when watching the game from your recliner feels just like being in the stadium. Especially if you spill your drink celebrating a touchdown.
My grandson tried to explain Bitcoin to me. I said, “Son, the only touchdown I understand is on a football field.”
My joints pop more than the champagne in a Super Bowl locker room after a touchdown.
Finding my glasses this morning felt like winning the Super Bowl! It was a real game-changer. Touchdown!
Remember when players used to celebrate a touchdown with a simple handshake? Now they need a choreographed dance routine.
I tried to explain to my wife that the Super Bowl touchdown was “instinct.” She said, “So was forgetting to take out the trash.”
My grandkids think I watch football for the touchdowns. Little do they know, it’s the commercials I’m really after. Now, where did I put my prune juice?
Retirement is the touchdown of life – you’ve reached the end zone… Now what are you going to do with all that free time?
Aging is inevitable, but forgetting where you put the TV remote during a touchdown? That’s just tragic.
Touchdown Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Did you hear about the football player who was also a masseuse? He really knew how to give a good touchdown. 😏
I tried to come up with a football pun, but I fumbled it. Give me a touchdown if you’ve got something better! 🏈
What does a touchdown celebration and a good hair day have in common? They’re both about the end zone. 😂
“Touchdown!” – Said no pilot, ever. ✈️
My dating life is like trying to score a touchdown in a blizzard… A lot of slipping and sliding, and no clear winner. 😭
I’m not saying I’m clumsy, but I once got a touchdown penalty for excessive celebration… after catching a bus. 🚌
My bank account after payday is like a football game… Short-lived touchdown followed by a long, drawn-out defeat. 💰
Just saw a ghost scoring a touchdown. Guess you could say he really put the “boo” in touchdown. 👻
Relationship Status: Waiting for someone to catch my feelings like a game-winning touchdown. ❤️
Always aim for the end zone, whether it’s on the field or in life. Touchdown or bust! 💪
I’m so broke, my credit card company called a “touchdown” when I made a $5 payment. 😩
Sleep is my love language. Every night is a touchdown. 😴
Life is like American football: You need a good strategy, a strong team, and someone to blame when you don’t get that touchdown. 😉
That awkward moment you yell “Touchdown!” at a soccer game… and realize nobody else is impressed. 😬 ⚽
