103+ Drug Jokes & Puns: You’re Gonna LOL! 😂💊🤣

💊😂 Get ready to laugh your aspirin off! This ain’t no placebo effect, folks – we’ve got a list of drug jokes and puns so funny, they’re practically illegal! 😜 From clever wordplay to side-splitting humor, this collection is the best remedy for a boring day. Just a heads up, these jokes are intended for kids and adults who appreciate good, clean fun. So, buckle up and get ready for some seriously addictive humor! 🤣 💯

Top Drug Jokes – Best Picks

Why did the rug get a promotion? It got stepped on too many times and finally said, “I’m drug down!”

What do you call a rug that’s always tired? A drug!

I saw a sign that said “Caution: Slow Down, Rugs.” I thought, “That’s absurd, who drags a rug that fast?”

Why did the rug fail its driving test? It kept getting pulled over.

My friend told me he was going to start selling rugs online. I said, “That’s a great way to get your business on the ground floor.”

What’s a rug’s least favorite surface? Shag carpeting. All that competition!

Why are rugs so good at poker? They’re great at bluffing.

You know you’ve been working too hard when… you start seeing your job as a rug that’s dragging you down.

Why was the rug afraid of the vacuum cleaner? It thought it was going to get swept off its feet!

Clever Drug Puns – Top Picks

1. I saw a sign at the pharmacy that said, “Don’t worry, be happy.” So I bought some antidepressants.

2. My doctor told me to take my medication on an empty stomach. Guess I’ll just have to throw up first.

3. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

4. Never trust atoms. They make up everything! Especially the placebo effect.

5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

6. I tried to write a joke about procrastination, but I’ll do it tomorrow.

7. I went to the pharmacy and asked for something to help with my memory. The pharmacist gave me a jar and said, “Remember to return this!”

8. My friend is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

9. I’m writing a book about kleptomania. If it’s successful, I’ll take all the credit.

10. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

11. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

12. I’m afraid of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

Related:  94+ Tootsie Roll Puns & Jokes: Unwrap the Laughter!

Funny Drug One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Drug Jokes

1. I tried to come up with a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it went.

2. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.

3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

4. My friend is addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

5. I went to the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist what to take for a headache. He said, “Aspirin.” I said, “Thanks, I’ll take two.”

6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was twoTIRED!

7. I’m writing a book about kleptomania. If it’s a success, I’ll take all the credit.

8. I’m afraid of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

9. Never trust atoms. They make up everything!

10. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

11. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

12. I tried to explain to my friend why I couldn’t go out, but he just wouldn’t listen. Guess he’s got selective hearing.

Drug QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Drug

Dad Jokes About Drug: Pun-Filled Quips

Drug Jokes and Puns for Kids

Drug Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. I told my doctor I was having trouble with my hearing. He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I replied, “Sure! Homer is a fat, yellow guy, and Marge has really blue hair.”

2. My doctor told me I needed to watch my blood pressure. Guess I’ll have to follow it on social media.

3. I’m getting really good at telling when my grandkids are lying. I’ve developed a strong sense of deception.

4. My doctor told me I should take up yoga for my arthritis. Now I can finally say “Namaste” to my pain.

5. I’ve started taking iron supplements. Now I’m invincible! (Well, not really, but I feel a lot better.)

6. I asked my doctor if I could get a hearing aid. He said, “Certainly, but first let’s find out what’s wrong with you.” I said, “I keep hearing a ringing noise.” He said, “And?” I said, “Hello?”

7. I’m taking a new medication that makes me feel like I can do anything. It’s called retirement.

8. I asked my pharmacist for a pill to help me sleep. He gave me one and said, “Don’t worry, it’s non-habit forming.” I said, “Great, so I can take it every night?”

9. I’m starting a support group for people with bad knees. We’ll call it “The Joint Commission.”

10. I told my doctor I was feeling lightheaded. He said, “Well, sit down.” I said, “I can’t, I’m a lightbulb!”

11. I’m so old, I remember when “getting high” meant swinging on the playground.

12. My doctor told me to take Vitamin D every day. Now I spend a lot of time just hanging around the mailbox.

Drug Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. Just saw an ad for antidepressants that said “Ask your doctor if sadness is right for you.” Um… I think I’ll pass. #mentalhealth #medication

2. I’m starting a support group for people who can’t tell the difference between their medication and their M&Ms. It’s called “Trial and Error.” #whoops #pharmacyfails

3. My doctor told me to take my medication with a grain of salt. Now I’m thirsty. #doctororders #medicalhumor

4. I’m not addicted to caffeine. I can quit anytime I want… but I don’t want to. #coffeelife #caffeineaddict

5. I used to be addicted to the dictionary, but I’m recovered now. I’m finally able to close the book on that chapter of my life. #punny #wordnerd

6. I’m writing a self-help book for people with hypochondria. It’s called “How to Diagnose Yourself With Everything.” #anxiety #healthhumor

7. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I’m going to give them all a big hug. #therapyhumor #mentalhealthmatters

8. I’m starting a band called “The Placebos.” We’ll be huge… eventually. #musicjokes #believeinyourself

9. I’m so addicted to puns, I should be prescribed a punicillin. #dadjokes #sorrynotsorry

10. My doctor prescribed me some anti-anxiety medication. Now I’m relaxed about not being able to afford it. #healthcare #lifeinthe21stcentury

11. I’m taking a new medication that makes me see everything in black and white. Turns out, it was just my TV remote. #oops #seniorlife

12. I tried to explain to my doctor that I wasn’t feeling well, but he kept interrupting me. Guess he has a bad case of selective hearing. #doctorhumor #communicationfail

High Five! You’ve Reached the End of the Dose.

Well, that was a dose of laughter, wasn’t it? We hope these drug jokes and puns didn’t leave you feeling high and dry! If you’re still craving more side-splitting humor, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Head over to our website for a whole pharmacy of puns and jokes that are guaranteed to cure your boredom!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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