92+ Purse Puns & Jokes: You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!
Get ready to LOL 😂 because this post is packed with the best purse jokes and puns! This is not your average, run-of-the-mill humor, people. We’re talking side-splitting, knee-slapping, “I can’t believe how clever this list of jokes is” funny! Perfect for kids and adults alike, these purse puns are sure to bring the laughter. 👜 So grab your sense of humor and get ready for some pun-derful entertainment! 😉
Top Purse Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the purse fail its driving test? Because it kept running into debt! 💸
- I got myself a brand new camouflage purse. I can’t find it anywhere! 🕵️♀️
- A thief stole my credit cards but left my purse. He clearly had good taste! 😎
- My therapist told me to confront everyone I had beef with… so I went to a cattle auction with a giant purse. 🐮👜
- What’s a purse’s favorite romantic movie? The Notebook. 📒💖
- You know your purse has seen better days when… it needs a vintage filter to look good in pictures. 👵📸
- What do you call a purse obsessed with organization? A tote-ally obsessed neat freak! 🗂️😄
- Why did the purse go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the zipper blues! 🤐🤧
- My old purse is like a time capsule. Full of receipts from 2012 and a half-eaten granola bar. ⏳🍫
- I tried to make a purse out of duct tape. It held everything together, except my dignity. 😭😂
- My bank account after buying a new purse is like a desert: vast, empty, and slightly shimmering with a mirage of solvency. 🏜️💰
- What do you call a purse that’s always getting lost? A wanderlust wallet! 🗺️🎒
- I put all my eggs in one basket… turns out it was a very fashionable wicker purse. At least I’ll look good scrambling to pick them up! 🧺🥚😅
Clever Purse Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the purse fail its driving test? Because it kept running out of change! 👛😂
- I’m opening a seafood restaurant called “The Prawn Purse”. Heard the food is shrimply irresistible! 🍤💰
- This purse is absolutely purr-fect! It’s the cat’s meow! 😹👜
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of purse? A treasure chest, of course! 🏴☠️💰
- My purse is so full, it’s bursting at the seams! Guess I need a new one… purse-onally speaking. 😉🛍️
- Just bought a vintage purse from the ’80s! It’s totally rad! 😎👛
- This purse is so stylish, it’s like the Beyoncé of handbags. A true diva! 👑👜
- My wallet is feeling a little light after buying this new purse. Guess you could say it’s a bit… purse-nickety! 😜💸
- Found a $20 bill in my old purse! Talk about a lucky purse-ket! 🍀💰
- I’m so obsessed with purses, I think I have a purse-onality disorder! 😂👜
- This purse is so roomy, I could practically fit my entire life in it! Though, I wouldn’t recommend it… things could get purse-onally messy. 🤪🎒
- Never ask a woman to empty her purse. You’ll be there all day, and it’s none of your purse-iness! 🙅♀️👜
- I’m starting a band called “The Purse-ecuted Artists.” Our first hit single? “Wallet Be Back!” 🎤🎸💰
- Got myself a new eco-friendly purse made entirely of recycled materials! It’s totally guilt-free and super chic. You could even say it’s… purse-fectly sustainable! ♻️👜
- Life is too short to have a boring purse. Spice things up with a statement piece! After all, your purse is an extension of your purse-onality! ✨🥳
Funny Purse One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Purse Jokes
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of purse? A buccaneer-bag!
- My purse is like a magician’s hat… everything disappears!
- My therapist told me to carry all my worries in a purse. Now I have anxiety and back problems.
- I’m not sure what’s more full, my to-do list or my purse.
- Found a twenty dollar bill in my purse this morning! Guess all that searching finally paid off.
- You know you’re an adult when finding money in your purse isn’t a good thing, it’s just paying yourself back.
- I tried to explain to my husband what’s in my purse… it was a very long conversation. Let’s just say, it involved snacks, emergency supplies, and at least one toy from 2019.
- My purse weighs a ton! It’s like carrying around a small child… except this one has better snacks.
- Don’t ever ask me what I’m carrying in my purse. It’s a journey, not a destination.
- I like my purses like I like my men: big, spacious, and able to hold all my stuff.
- Cleaning out my purse is like going on an archaeological dig. It’s amazing what I find buried in there!
- Just emptied out my purse. Pretty sure I could survive in the wilderness for a month with what was in there.
- Always be kind to your purse. It carries a lot of weight… literally!
- My purse is my happy place. Unless someone asks me to get something out of it.
Purse QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Purse
- Q: Why did the purse start therapy? A: It had too many issues.
- Q: What do you call a purse that’s always getting lost? A: A wander-ful accessory!
- Q: Why did the designer give the purse a pep talk? A: He told it to “tote-ally believe in itself!”
- Q: What’s a purse’s favorite song? A: “We Are the Champions” by Queen…because it loves to hold onto that winning feeling!
- Q: Did you hear about the purse thief who got caught red-handed? A: It was an open-and-shut case!
- Q: My purse is starting to feel a bit light. Any advice? A: Just give it some time. It’ll find more things to carry, I’m sure.
- Q: How do you fix a broken purse strap? A: With a shoulder to cry on and a trip to the handbag hospital!
- Q: What did the purse say to the wallet after a long day of shopping? A: “Whew! That was draining!”
- Q: How did the purse apologize to the lipstick after sitting on it? A: “Sorry, I must have lip-slipped my mind!”
- Q: What do you call a purse that’s always full of surprises? A: A clutch magician!
- Q: I think my purse is trying to tell me something… A: What’s the problem? Is it giving you the silent treatment?
- Q: Why did the fashion designer refuse to make a boring purse? A: He wanted each creation to be tote-ally awesome!
- Q: Why don’t purses ever get lonely? A: They’re always surrounded by cards and cash! They’ve got lots of friends!
- Q: Hey, can I borrow some money? My purse feels a little light. A: Sure, how much does your purse weigh?
Dad Jokes About Purse: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my wife her new purse looked really expensive. She said, “It was. It cost an arm and a leg!” I replied, “Well, at least you still have all your limbs!”
- Why did the purse fail its driving test? It kept running out of pockets.
- My wife wanted me to hold her purse while she shopped. I told her I wasn’t sure it was my bag, baby!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of purse? A buccaneer-bag!
- That designer purse is way out of my price range. Guess I’ll just have to window shop it!
- Did you hear about the purse thief who got caught? He was charged with handbagging!
- I wanted to buy my wife a designer knock-off purse… but I couldn’t handle the guilt-trip!
- What kind of purse does a snake carry? A python pouch!
- Why shouldn’t you tell a purse a secret? Because it can’t keep it zipped!
- Why do purses love going to parties? They love to mingle!
- My wife is addicted to buying purses. I think I need to start a purse-intervention!
- You know your purse is too heavy when… it comes with its own gravitational pull!
- I tried to make a purse out of duct tape once. It was a rip-off!
- My wife said she wanted a purse loud enough to match her personality. So I got her an air horn.
Purse Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What did the little purse say to the big tote bag? Wow, you’re carry-on amazing!
- Why did the purse fail its test? It had too many open pockets!
- My mom’s purse is like a magical bag. Every time I look inside, I find something new! Sometimes it’s even something I lost a week ago!
- What kind of music do purses love? Anything with a good beat!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Purse. Purse who? Purse-onally, I think you’re very funny!
- What do you call a purse that loves to travel? An adventure pouch!
- My friend said her purse weighs a ton! I told her that sounds like a pocketful of problems!
- Why don’t purses ever tell secrets? Because they’re always zipped up tight!
- What do you get if you combine a purse and a rocket? A bag-gage claim to the moon!
- Where do injured purses go? The purse-pital!
- What do you call a purse that’s always happy? A cheerful satchel!
- I wanted to buy a camouflage purse… but I couldn’t find any!
- Why did the purse cross the road? To get to the other handle!
- What’s a purse’s favorite snack? Zip-lock bag of chips!
Purse Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My retirement plan is like my favorite old purse – limited access and hoping there’s still something good in there!
- I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my grandma. She said, “Honey, the only chains I understand are the ones that keep my purse from getting stolen.”
- They say money talks… but my purse always seems to say “You’re broke” at the worst possible times.
- I cleaned out my purse the other day. Found my keys, $2.37, and a half-eaten granola bar from 2019. Archaeology is a rewarding hobby!
- They say money can’t buy happiness. But have you ever noticed how much lighter your purse feels when you’re leaving the shoe store?
- You know you’re getting old when you get more compliments on your vintage purse than on your outfit.
- I got carded buying wine the other day. I told them, “Honey, if you think I’m young enough to be buying this for the first time, you should see the junk at the bottom of my purse.”
- I finally organized my purse into different compartments. Now, I just need to remember which dimension I left my phone in.
- My husband says I treat my purse like a Mary Poppins bag. He’s right – it’s practically bottomless, and there’s always something unexpected in there.
- Why don’t they make transparent purses anymore? I miss the days when finding something in there was like playing “Where’s Waldo?”.
- You know you’re an elder when a “night out” means transferring your essentials from your everyday purse to your smaller, “going out” purse.
- My doctor told me I need to reduce the weight I’m carrying. Guess it’s time to switch back to my smaller purse!
- Why was the designer purse always calm? It had great composure!
Purse Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a lady running after a bus with a huge bag of money. Talk about chasing your purse-pective! 🏃♀️💰
- Why did the designer purse fail its driving test? It kept running over the clutch! 🚗👛
- My wallet is so empty, I can hear my credit cards echoing. Guess it’s time for a purse-onality change! 🗣️💳
- Life is like a purse; you never know what you’re gonna get. Especially if you borrowed it from your mom. 🤷♀️👜
- My bank account is so low, my purse can practically hear it crying. 😭👛
- You know you’re addicted to buying purses when you start naming them… “Betty the Backpack” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. 🎒🤪
- Just found a lost ID and $20 in my purse. Guess it’s my civic duty to go shopping! 👮♀️🛍️
- What do you call a purse obsessed with organization? A neat freak tote-ally! 😉👜
- Don’t judge my purse addiction until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes… or, you know, carried all my stuff. 👠💪
- I’m not saying my purse is heavy, but I’m pretty sure it’s starting to develop its own gravitational pull. 🌎👜
- Relationship Status: In a committed relationship with my purse. It’s the only one that can handle all my baggage. ❤️👜
- Found a $5 bill in my purse from last year. See, money DOES grow on trees if you put it in the right purse! 🌳🤑
- I’m not sure what’s deeper, the contents of my purse or the meaning of life. 🤔👜
- My purse is like a Mary Poppins bag; you never know what you’ll pull out of it, but it’s probably covered in crumbs. 🌂✨🍪
- You can tell a lot about a woman by her purse… mainly how much stuff she can carry without breaking a sweat. 💪👜
Don’t Get Bagged Down, Share These Puns!
We hope these purse-themed puns and jokes didn’t leave you feeling handbagged! But if you’re still hungry for more hilarious puns and wordplay, don’t be a stranger! Explore the rest of our punny website for a treasure trove of laughter.
