104+ Lipstick Jokes & Puns: You’re Gonna Love These Lip-Ticklers!
💄💋 Calling all pun enthusiasts! Get ready for a lip-smacking good time with the ultimate list of lipstick jokes and puns. 😂 This compilation is packed with the best humor, funny enough to tickle your funny bone and clever enough to impress even the toughest critics. From silly puns for kids to witty wordplay for adults, this collection has something for everyone. Get ready to laugh your lips off! 🤣
Top Lipstick Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the lipstick break up with the lip gloss? Because they couldn’t see eye to eye!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite lipstick brand? “Forever Red” by Dracula Cosmetics.
- My friend tried to tell me my new lipstick was too “loud.” I told her to speak up, I couldn’t hear her over the fabulousness.
- I like my men like I like my lipstick… smooth, bold, and long-lasting! (Or gone by morning, no judgment here.)
- I put on lipstick this morning… and suddenly, I had the energy to conquer the world! Or at least conquer finding a matching pair of socks.
- They say a little lipstick can boost your confidence. Well, I just put on the whole tube – world, watch out!
- Why did the lipstick get sent to the principal’s office? It got caught making out with the cap again.
- I just bought a lipstick that’s supposed to last 24 hours. Now I just need to find a date that will last that long!
- You know you love lipstick when… you find it in the laundry, your purse, and your car’s cup holder.
- My therapist told me to find something that makes me happy. Turns out, it’s an entire drawer full of lipstick.
- Life is short, buy the lipstick. And the shoes. And that really cute handbag.
- You can tell a lot about a woman by her lipstick… Mainly, whether she’s a hugger or a cheek kisser.
- What do you call a lipstick that’s always getting lost? A shade wanderer!
- My dog ate my favorite lipstick. Now all he talks about is how “pawsome” he looks.
Clever Lipstick Puns – Best Picks
- “This lipstick is so good, it’s truly lip-sticking with me all day!”
- “I’m feeling indecisive…coral you help me pick a lipstick?”
- “Life’s too short for boring lips. Go bold or go home!” (with a dramatic lipstick swipe)
- “Heard about the lipstick thief? He was caught red-handed!”
- “I’m not obsessed with lipstick, but I do have a favorite shade for every mood…and outfit…and weather pattern.”
- “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy lipstick, and that’s kind of the same thing.”
- “Applying lipstick is my favorite form of lip service.” 😉
- “I love my new lipstick! It really brings out the inner goddess…or at least the illusion of one.”
- “I’m not saying I hoard lipstick, but if they were currency, I’d be a wealthy woman.” 💰
- “Having a bad day? Just add lipstick and conquer!”
- “Behind every great woman is a great lipstick…and good lighting.”
- “My therapist told me to embrace my obsessions. Time to buy more lipstick!”
- “My spirit animal? A lipstick queen bee, obviously!” 👑🐝
- “Eat, drink, and be merry! But first, let me find my perfect red lipstick.”
Funny Lipstick One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Lipstick Jokes
- My friend said she wanted a lipstick that would make her look younger… so I pushed her over.
- Life is short, but your lipstick doesn’t have to be.
- Applying lipstick in the car is a fine line to draw.
- You know you’re addicted to lipstick when you can hear your favorite shade calling your name.
- Never underestimate the power of a good lipstick and a little bit of delusion.
- I’m at that age where my idea of a wild night is staying in and organizing my lipstick collection.
- I put on lipstick just to go to the grocery store. You never know who you’ll run into…or who you’ll spill your coffee on.
- I’m not sure what’s more confusing, contouring or the fact that I own 10 shades of “nude” lipstick.
- I’m at that age where my lipsticks have their own suitcase when I travel.
- Lipstick is the fastest way to look put-together even if you feel like a hot mess express.
- Don’t judge my lipstick collection until you’ve seen my online shopping cart.
- Eating a burger with lipstick on is a talent, not a crime against humanity.
- My credit card company called about suspicious activity. Apparently, buying all shades in a lipstick line isn’t “essential”.
- I love a good power suit, but a bold lipstick is the real sign of a woman ready to take on the world.
Lipstick QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Lipstick
- Q: Why did the lipstick get fired from its job at the circus? A: It kept clowning around! 🤡
- Q: What did the shy lipstick say to the lip gloss? A: “I’m glossing over you!” ✨
- Q: What’s a lipstick’s favorite music genre? A: Anything with a good beat…and stain! 🎶
- Q: How do you know when a lipstick is lying? A: You can see right through its gloss! 👀
- Q: Where do lipsticks love to go on vacation? A: The Balm-uda Triangle! 🌴
- Q: Did you hear about the lipstick that ran for office? A: It promised bold change, but its platform was a little flaky. 🗳️
- Q: What’s a lipstick’s favorite video game? A: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Lime! 🎮
- Q: Why did the lipstick cross the road? A: To get to the other pout! 😉
- Q: My lipstick keeps disappearing! What should I do? A: Invest in a good lip liner. It’s like house arrest for your color! 🏠
- Q: You seem to like red lipstick…a lot! A: Guilty as charged! Though, sometimes I wear pink…just to be neutral. 💖
- Q: What’s a lipstick’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: A Midsummer Night’s Sheen! 🎭
- Q: My friend said I wear too much lipstick! What should I say? A: “At least I’m not wearing too much you! 💅
- Q: I’m looking for a lipstick that will make me irresistible. A: You don’t need lipstick for that, you need a warrant! 😉
- Q: I bought a talking lipstick, but it only says one thing. A: Let me guess… “You’re looking a little pale!” 👻
- Q: Why don’t they trust lipsticks in court? A: They’re always changing their statements! 🤫
Dad Jokes About Lipstick: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my daughter to try putting her lipstick on with a ruler… Turns out she wanted to see the lip-to-lip coverage!
- You know, they say lipstick is made from crushed beetles… Guess that explains why I can’t get my wife to beetle it to the dinner table when she’s putting it on!
- My wife said she was going to the store to buy some lip-stick… I hope she doesn’t get pulled over – wouldn’t want to see her get a parking lip-ticket!
- They’re making a movie about lipstick, but it’s still in production… Guess you could say it’s on the lip of release.
- Heard a rumor that lipstick tubes are going to be rectangular now… Guess they couldn’t find a lip-square shape?
- Why don’t lobsters wear lipstick? They’re afraid of getting shell-shocked at how good they look!
- I used to work in a lipstick factory testing shades… It was the lip-service industry.
- I tried to write a song about lipstick, but I kept getting writer’s lip-block.
- You know what my wife’s favorite lipstick brand is? Smoochies’! What? Too on-the-nose?
- Went to a museum today and saw the most amazing lipstick exhibit… Turns out it was only a lip-replica though.
- Tried to make my own lipstick once, but it was a total lip-flop!
- You know, clowns use a lot of lipstick for their big smiles… Must cost a pretty lip-enny!
- My wife has a lipstick for every occasion… I think she’s building a whole lip-brary!
- I put on my wife’s lipstick once… It didn’t look good on me, but it sure did chap my lips!
Lipstick Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the lipstick get in trouble at school? It kept getting on everyone’s papers!
- What do you call a sheep wearing lipstick? Anything you want, it’s your lipstick!
- What’s a lipstick’s favorite game to play? Truth or-gloss!
- What does a mommy lipstick say to her baby lipstick? “You’re really gloss-ing over!”
- Why did the lipstick blush? Because it saw the lip balm!
- What did the dad lipstick tell the kid lipstick? “Put your cap on! You don’t want to get lost-stick!”
- Why did the lipstick fail its driving test? It kept going over the lip!
- What’s a lipstick’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat!
- My friend said her lipstick collection is out of control… I told her, ” Sounds like you have a lot on your plate!”
- Why was the lipstick sad when it lost a race? Because it was a close finish!
- What did the lipstick say to the mirror? “We look good together!”
- Why did the lipstick go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little pale!
- My friend told me she was going to name her new lipstick after me. How sweet! I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious between us.
- What’s a lipstick’s favorite school subject? Kiss-tory, of course!
Lipstick Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My grandmother says she doesn’t need lipstick, her wrinkles are expressive enough. I told her that’s called “frowning in high definition.”
- What’s the difference between finding a good man and finding a perfect lipstick? The lipstick doesn’t dry you out and then ghost you after a few weeks.
- I used to wear lipstick, now I just stain my coffee mug. It’s low maintenance and shows I’m committed to caffeine.
- They say beauty is pain. But have you ever accidentally sat on a tube of lipstick? That’s a tragedy.
- You know you’re getting old when… your idea of a wild night is finding a lipstick that doesn’t clash with your wrinkles.
- Why did the lipstick break up with the mascara? She felt he was always lashing out.
- My retirement plan is investing in lipstick. It’s the only thing that consistently goes up in price.
- You know what they say about older women and red lipstick? We’re too busy enjoying life to worry about what “they” say.
- My doctor told me to embrace my natural look. So, I put on my favorite red lipstick. Nature knows what’s up.
- They say youth is wasted on the young. But apparently, so is expensive lipstick. Mine keeps ending up on my coffee cup and grandkids.
- I just bought a lipstick that promised to make me look ten years younger. I can’t find it, but my arthritis feels better.
- I put on some bright red lipstick before answering the door. Turns out it was just the mailman. Now he probably thinks I’m expecting a hot date…with a younger man.
- My friend told me I should try this new “age-defying” lipstick. It’s a lie. Time is undefeated. But at least I look fabulous while facing him down.
- What do you call a lipstick that can survive anything? Divorce-proof. Trust me, I know.
Lipstick Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got my girlfriend a lipstick that changes color with her mood. It’s going to be interesting seeing what shade of “I told you so” I get tonight. 💄 😬
- My bank account after buying lipstick? It’s not “in the red,” it’s “in the nude.” 💸💄😂
- Me trying to apply lipstick in the car like I’m in a high-speed chase with a makeup brush. 🚓💄💨 #NailedIt
- You know you’re addicted to lipstick when you can hear your mail carrier coming and think, “Perfect timing! Gotta try on that new shade!” 📬💄😂
- That awkward moment when you try to compliment someone’s lipstick and realize it’s just their natural lip color. #BlessedGenes #I’llStickToTubes 👄😌
- Life is short. Buy the lipstick. Unless it’s that weird green color, then life’s too short. Put it down. 💚💄🚶♀️
- What do you call a lipstick for dogs? Licki-stick! 🐶💄 (Okay, maybe that one’s already a thing… but dogs!)
- Single and ready to mingle? Nah, single and ready to buy all the lipstick shades I couldn’t wear in my last relationship. 💅💄 #TreatYourself
- I’m not saying I have too many lipsticks… but I just categorized them by color family and now I need a spreadsheet. 💄📊😳 #SendHelp
- Dating a makeup artist is great, until you accidentally call their favorite lipstick “kind of a basic red.” 😱💄 #RIP
- “You’re wearing too much makeup,” said no one ever to a person confidently rocking a bold lipstick. 😎💄 #MicDrop
- Sleep? What’s sleep? I need to find the perfect red lipstick first. 😩💄😴 #Priorities
- I’m at that age where “getting carded” means showing my ID at Sephora for a lipstick discount. 👵💄😂 #SeniorPerks
- Lipsticks are like friends: The bold ones are there for a good time, the nudes are there for a long time, and the glittery ones… well, they’re complicated. 💄👯♀️✨
Lip-smacking Puns to Paint the Town Red! 💄
Well, there you have it! We hope these lipstick jokes and puns didn’t leave you feeling too made up. 😉 If you’re thirsty for more laughs, don’t pout – just gloss over to our website for a whole lot more punny business!
