98+ Pick Up Jokes & Puns: These Lines Will Totally Get You a Date 😉
Get ready to groan with laughter 😂! We’ve got the best collection of pick up jokes and puns this side of the internet. This list of hilarious wordplay is perfect for kids and adults who love a little clever humor. We’re talking knee-slapping, side-splitting, “tell-me-another-one” levels of funny. So buckle up, buttercup, and get ready for some seriously punny business! 😎
Top Pick Up Jokes – Best Picks
- I’m not a hoarder, but I really want to keep you forever. (Pause for laughter, then whisper) Is that too forward?
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? (Optional: Trip and fall dramatically on the second pass)
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you. (Flash a charming smile, even if you don’t have one)
- I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart? (Whip out a comically oversized map for added effect)
- I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get. (Wink mischievously, but please be appropriate)
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for. (Slightly adjust your glasses, even if you don’t wear any)
- I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. (Flex your bicep confidently, even if it’s invisible)
- Do you work at Little Caesars? Because you’re hot and I’m ready. (Hold up your hand for a high five, even if it hangs awkwardly)
- I’m learning about important dates in history. Want to be one of them? (Pull out a notebook and pen, ready to jot down their number)
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. (Hold up a cucumber if you have one. If not, just grin awkwardly)
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together forever. (Pretend to take a photo of you two with your hands)
- Is your dad a thief? Because he must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes. (Look deeply into their eyes, or at least the general vicinity of their face)
- Was your father a boxer? Because you’re a knockout! (Throw a playful air punch, but make sure you don’t accidentally hit anyone)
- Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you. (Point to your knee with an exaggerated limp, because physical comedy is timeless)
- I’m sorry, I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out? (Push your glasses up your nose, even if they’re imaginary)
Clever Pick Up Puns – Best Picks
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you. (And I’d gladly pay the price to get to know you.)
- Is your name Google Maps? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for. (And then some.)
- Are you a fruit basket? Because I’d love to pick you up. (Especially if you come with whipped cream.)
- Do you work at Little Caesars? Because you’re definitely HOT-N-READY. (And I’m ready to be picked up.)
- I’m like a pickup truck with a broken tailgate – I can’t hold back my feelings for you. (So buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.)
- Are you a sculptor? Because you’ve just picked up my interest. (I’d love to see your other works of art.)
- You must be a highly sought-after antique. Everywhere I go, I see signs saying “Pick Up Only.” (And I’m the one who wants to pick you up.)
- Is your dad a mechanic? Because you’re the total package – pick up and delivery! (I’m hoping for a lifetime warranty on this connection.)
- Do you play frisbee? Because you’re definitely my type on paper… and I’d love to pick you up for a game. (We could really make some sparks fly.)
- Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears. (Now, pick a card, any card… as long as that card leads me to your heart.)
- I must have left my phone on silent because I didn’t get your “you’re amazing” pick-up line. (But seriously, tell me more about yourself.)
- Are you a high five? Because, I can already tell this is going to be a great pick-me-up. (Let’s make this a moment to remember.)
- Is your hand a dictionary? Because you’re clearly defining what it means to be pick-up line worthy. (And I’m ready to study your every word.)
- If you were a pick-up line, I’d choose you every time. (Because you’re naturally charming and effortlessly attractive.)
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I pick you up again in ten minutes? (This time, I’ll bring pizza.)
Funny Pick Up One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Pick Up Jokes
- Are you a difficult language to learn? Because I really want to pick up on you.
- Feeling a little down today? Don’t worry, I’m an expert in pick-up artistry… for dropping things and awkwardly picking them up.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a strong connection and I want you to know my pick-up lines aren’t password protected.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. What? It worked on the other people I tried to pick up today.
- I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart? …Wait, don’t go, I have other pick up lines!
- I’m like a broken pencil – pointless without you. But hey, at least you could pick me up easily.
- Is your dad a sculptor? Because you’re a masterpiece, and I’m really bad at picking up art.
- Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven? Because judging by my pick-up line, I clearly tripped on something down here.
- Is your dad a thief? Because he must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes. That’s terrible. Sorry, I’ll work on my pick up lines.
- I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. …Okay, I should probably quit while I’m behind on these pick up lines.
- My doctor told me I need more Vitamin U in my life. And a new pick up line, apparently.
- Are you a phone charger? Because I’m dying to be picked up by you. And my phone is at 2%.
Pick Up QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Pick Up
- Q: Why did the clumsy musician struggle to learn the guitar? A: He had trouble with the pick-up technique!
- Q: What did the tired garbage collector say after his shift? A: “It’s time for me to pick up and go!”
- Q: Why did the comedian bring a truck to his show? A: He heard laughter was in high demand, and he wanted to pick up as much as possible!
- Q: How do you know you’re at a fancy grocery store? A: Even the pick-up lane is valet parking!
- Q: Why did the sculptor win an award for his giant nose statue? A: They said it was an exceptional pick-up artist!
- Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite type of truck? A: A Toyota pick-up, because they always get caught by the Toyoda police!
- Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they’re always trying to pick up electrons!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the beach? A: “Nothing, it just picked up a shell and called!”
- Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at the card game? A: Don’t worry, the police recovered the pick-up sticks and made an arrest!
- Q: Why was the pick-up truck so strong? A: It always lifted weights!
- Q: What’s the difference between a pick-up artist and a pizza delivery guy? A: One uses cheesy lines, the other delivers cheesy goodness!
- Q: Why are snails terrible at pick-up basketball? A: They’re always playing slow ball!
- Q: How can you tell if someone works at a clock factory? A: They’re always trying to pick up the second hand!
Dad Jokes About Pick Up: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to pick up a magician last night. Poof! She disappeared!
- Did you hear about the truck full of prosthetic limbs that crashed? Must have been a horrible pick-up line.
- I asked my son to pick up some bread from the store. He said, “Rye not?” I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
- I tried to learn how to pick up a bowling ball with two fingers, like the pros. I should have picked up a spare instead.
- My wife asked me to pick up a pie on the way home, so I picked up the phone. She wasn’t amused. Apparently, she meant a baked good.
- My son dropped his ice cream and said, “Don’t worry, Dad, I can pick it up!” I said, “I wouldn’t try that, son, it’s a sundae down.”
- What’s green and goes up and down? A pick-up full of pickles.
- Tried to pick up a girl at the bank today. Security wasn’t impressed with my “hands up” approach.
- I used to work at a clock factory making pick-up orders. After a while, time just flew by.
- What do you call a fish with no pick-up lines? A single salmon.
- Just saw a dog fetch a stick and then look around nervously. Guess he thought it was a pick-up game and didn’t want to be last one picked.
- My kid asked, “What’s the strongest pick-up line?” I said, “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.”
- I tried to pick up a girl in a library once. Turns out, she was really into quiet reading. Guess you could say I didn’t make the book club.
- My wife asked if I could pick up some milk on the way home. I said, “Sure, what’s its number?” I think she’s starting to question our marriage.
Pick Up Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the blueberry go to school even though it was feeling sick? Because it wanted to pick up its grades!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
- You know what’s really hard? Figuring out where the sidewalk ends and the street picks up!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly! Cows go ‘moo’!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
- I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed!
- What does oblivious mean? I have no idea!
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
- Where should you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Pick Up Jokes and Puns for Elders
- You must be a library book… because I’m checking you out. (with a knowing wink)
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for. (pause for dramatic effect) All 78 years of it.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you. (leans in conspiratorially) And I have plenty of time to contest it.
- My doctor told me I need more potassium… Want to grab a banana split and get handsy?
- I’m like a vintage wine… I get better with age. (gestures to a nearby chair) Care to sample me?
- I’m not Fred Astaire… but I’d love to take you for a spin. (offers arm with a twinkle in the eye)
- Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again, slower this time? I’ve got all day.
- You remind me of my favorite pair of slippers… comfortable and easy to slip into a conversation with.
- I’m writing a book about the history of beautiful things… and I was wondering if I could interview you?
- My joints may creak, but my heart still skips a beat… when you walk by.
- They say you can’t buy happiness… but how about dinner? I’m buying.
- Are you a collector’s item? Because I’ve got a feeling you’re one of a kind. (adjusts glasses thoughtfully)
- Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. (subtle eyebrow raise)
- I hope you know CPR… because you just took my breath away! (fans self with handkerchief playfully)
- Are you an antique appraiser? Because I’d love to have you value this heart of mine. (taps chest gently)
Pick Up Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got dumped. I need someone new to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Also, if you could pick up some pizza on the way over, that’d be great. 😏🍕😭
- I’m not saying I’m desperate, but I’d switch to Verizon coverage if it meant I could pick you up better. 📶😩🤣
- Is your name Earl Grey? Because you’re the pick-me-up I need this afternoon! ☕️😉 ( Perfect for a tea lover’s profile)
- I tried to come up with a clever pick-up line, but I got stuck. Can you help pick my brain? 🤔😅
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you! 🅿️🔥 (But, like, in a good way, you know?)
- You must work at a recycling plant, because you’re really good at pick-up. ♻️😉 (Sustainable pick-up lines are the future)
- I wish I was your phone screen, so you’d pick me up all the time. 📱🥺 (Classic but relatable)
- I’m learning how to pick locks. Maybe I could pick yours and we can go on a date? 🔐😈 (Add a winky face, play it cool)
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I try walking by again? Maybe pick up a coffee this time? 🚶♀️☕️😉 (Second time’s the charm)
- My therapist suggested I start picking up hobbies. Want to be one? 🧶🎨🥁😎 (For the self-aware humor enthusiast)
- My parents told me to follow my dreams. So, I’m following you. Also, I can’t seem to pick up my jaw from the floor after seeing you. 🤩🤤😳 (Flattery will get you everywhere)
- Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection. Strong enough to pick up this signal from across the room, am I right? 📶🔥 (For the tech-savvy cuties)
- I’m not a hoarder, but I really want to keep you forever. Seriously, you should let me pick you up sometime. 😍🥰 (Straightforward, yet effective)
That’s All, Folks! These Puns Were Drop-Dead Funny.
We hope these pick up lines and puns didn’t go over your head! If you’re looking for more knee-slappers and groan-worthy jokes, don’t drop the ball! Head over to our website for a truckload of hilarious puns and jokes. You’re sure to find something to pick up your spirits!
