90+ Cotton Jokes & Puns: You’ll Say, “Oh My Thread!”

Hey there, pun-loving pals! 👋 Get ready to experience the best of cotton humor – and no, we don’t mean dad jokes told in the clothes aisle! 😂 This list of cotton jokes and puns is sure to tickle your funny bone, whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart. We’ve combed through fields of 😂 humor to bring you the cleverest and most hilarious cotton puns around. Get ready to laugh your threads off! 🧶😄

Top Cotton Jokes – Best Picks

1. Why don’t sheep tell secrets in a cotton field? Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans stalk!
2. What did the cotton ball say to the fabric softener? “Hey, I’ve got a crush on you… Wanna get fluffy together?”
3. Why did the farmer plant a light bulb in his cotton field? He wanted to grow colored cotton!
4. Why did the cotton candy break up with the lollipop? He thought she was too clingy!
5. What do you call a sheep covered in lotion? Cotton-ed!
6. What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite genre of music? Anything but heavy metal – they only like light picks!
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato… made of cotton, of course!
8. Why do farmers love growing cotton? It’s always such a soft job!
9. I tried to make a t-shirt out of cotton balls… But it was way too much of a tearable experience!
10. My friend said he wanted a shirt made of 100% natural fibers… So I sent him out to graze in a cotton field!
11. I thought about opening a cotton ball factory… … but I didn’t want to be accused of exploiting fluff labor.
12. What did the mama cotton plant say to her baby boll? “Don’t worry, be thread-y!”
13. Why is cotton so easy to get along with? It’s always down to fabric-ate some fun!

Clever Cotton Puns – Best Picks

1. What did the fabric say to the cotton plant after a long day? “I’m sew tired.”
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even cotton!
3. What did the cotton ball say to the comedian? “Hey, I’m down for a good yarn!”
4. Why did the cotton plant win an award? For its outstanding contri-bution to society.
5. What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beat and a bale!
6. I wanted to buy some vintage cotton candy, but … it was already taken. Guess it was pre-spun.
7. My friend said cotton farming was easy, but I was skeptical. Turns out, he was just stringing me along.
8. What happens when two cotton farmers fall in love? They get hitched, of course!
9. What’s a cotton ball’s favorite movie? Mission: Improbable – Fallout
10. I told my tailor I wanted a suit made of Egyptian cotton. He looked at me like I was in de-Nile.
11. What happens when you cross a sheep and a cotton plant? You get a sweater that’s always warm and fuzzy!
12. I knew a cotton farmer who was also a rapper. His stage name was MC Thread Count!
13. Life is like a box of cotton balls… You never know what kind of fluff you’re gonna get.

Funny Cotton One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Cotton Jokes

1. What did the cotton say to the fabric softener? Hey, quit clinging to me!
2. Why don’t they gamble in the cotton fields? Too much fluff and fold.
3. I used to be addicted to cotton candy. But then I got floss-free.
4. You know you’re getting old when your favorite band is Spinal Cotton.
5. I went to a cotton ball party last night. It was pretty threadbare.
6. My friend is a cotton farmer. He’s always got a lot on his plant.
7. I bought some organic cotton the other day. It was picked by hand – Gandhi’s, I think.
8. Did you hear about the cotton farmer who won the lottery? He’s got bale now!
9. My dog ate a whole bag of cotton balls. Don’t worry, he’ll pass them.
10. What does a sheep say to a cotton plant? Look, I can pull the wool over your eyes!
11. What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite song? “We Will Fleece You” by Queen.
12. Why did the cotton plant get in trouble at school? It kept getting caught with loose leaf.
13. I’m writing a book about cotton. It’s a real page-turner!

Cotton QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cotton

1. Q: Why did the cotton ball quit his job? A: He was always getting picked on!
2. Q: Where do cotton farmers dance? A: At a cotton ball!
3. Q: What did the cotton say to the fabric softener? A: “Hey, I’m feeling you!”
4. Q: What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite Michael Jackson song? A: “Billy Jean, are you my cotton?”
5. Q: What do you call a sheep covered in cotton candy? A: A fluffy baa-dass!
6. Q: Why didn’t the cotton candy want to go on a date? A: It was feeling a little clingy.
7. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep and a cloud? A: Cotton candy!
8. Q: Why did the farmer plant cotton and dynamite together? A: He wanted to grow explosive crop yields!
9. Q: What did the cotton plant say on Valentine’s Day? A: “I’m sew in love with you!”
10. Q: Why did the cotton ball get lost in the forest? A: It went down the wrong yarn path!
11. Q: Why are cotton plants such good listeners? A: They’re all ears!
12. Q: What happens when two cotton balls have a disagreement? A: They have a little tiff!
13. Q: What do you call a sheep wearing armor? A: A knight in cotton wool!
14. Q: What kind of music does a cotton plant listen to? A: Anything soft and mellow!
15. Q: What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Much Ado About Cotton!”

Dad Jokes About Cotton: Pun-Filled Quips

1. Why did the cotton ball quit his job? Because he was tired of being picked on!
2. What did the dad cotton ball say to his son after a long day? “Hey son, let’s turn in early. We’re two tired to sheet!”
3. My friend said his new shirt was made of sustainable cotton. I said, “Well, that’s sew-perb!”
4. What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite Michael Jackson song? “Billie Jean, are you harvesting my cotton?”
5. I saw a sign that said “Beware of Pickpocket.” I thought, “That’s odd, I’ve never seen a pocket made of cotton that big!”
6. Why did the cotton plant get bad grades? It kept getting things mixed up, like the Boll Weevil and the Bill of Rights.
7. What kind of music do they play at the cotton gin? Anything with a good beat and a smooth texture!
8. I just bought a vintage cotton shirt from the 80s. It’s totally rad! Or should I say, “thread”?
9. Don’t tell secrets in a cotton field. Word travels fast on the cotton gin vine!
10. What do you call a sheep wearing cotton? A fashion faux-pas!
11. My kid asked me where cotton comes from. I told him, “Don’t be silly, cotton comes from cotton plants. Where else would it cotton from?”
12. I’m starting a cotton ball collection. It’s going to be lint-credible!

Cotton Jokes and Puns for Kids

1. Why did the cotton candy get lost in the forest? Because it was looking for its cotton ball family!
2. What did the mama cotton plant say to her little bud? “Oh, honey, you’re such a fluffball!”
3. Where do sheep go to get their hair done? To the baa-baa shop for a cotton cut!
4. Why don’t cotton balls ever win a race? Because they like to stay a-head of the game!
5. What’s a cotton ball’s favorite game to play? Anything but dodgeball!
6. What’s a cloud’s favorite candy? Cotton candy, of course!
7. Why didn’t the cotton ball want to go swimming? Because it didn’t want to get tide up!
8. What’s the softest job in the world? A cotton picker!
9. What do you call a sheep with a sense of humor? A cotton-pickin’ comedian!
10. Why did the cotton plant get in trouble at school? It kept interrupting the teacher with fluffy thoughts!
11. What did the cotton ball say to the cactus? “Hey there, prickly pear! You look sharp!”
12. What kind of music do cotton balls listen to? Anything soft rock!
13. Where do rabbits go to buy new clothes? To the cotton tail-or!
14. What do you get when you cross a cotton ball and a porcupine? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to hug it!
15. Why did the cotton candy go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little blue!

Cotton Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. Why did the elder refuse to use the cotton balls at the retirement home? He said, “Those are for amateurs! I remember when we used to stuff mattresses with this stuff!”
2. My grandpa started growing cotton when he retired. He said, “I finally have time for a hobby that’s soft and yielding… just like my grandkids!”
3. An elder walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I think I’m allergic to cotton. Every time I try to tell a story about the good old days, everyone falls asleep!”
4. You know you’re old when… you remember when “picking up cotton” wasn’t a euphemism for flirting.
5. My grandmother is so old, she remembers when… the only thing “organic cotton” meant was that it hadn’t been treated with pesticides yet.
6. Why don’t they make clothes out of polyester anymore? An elder asked me that the other day. I told him, “They do! This shirt is polyester!” He just shook his head and said, “See, this is what I’m talking about. They don’t make things like they used to!”
7. I went to visit my great-aunt at the nursing home, and she was telling me all about her favorite memories. I said, “That sounds fascinating! What else do you remember?” She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said, “Honey, if I told you everything I remembered, we’d be here until the cows come home… and frankly, at my age, I don’t think I could handle the stampede!”
8. They say cotton is the fabric of our lives, but I think it’s more like the stuffing. It’s soft, comfortable, and tends to clump up in all the wrong places as you get older.”
9. My doctor said I need to reduce my stress levels. He suggested meditation, yoga, or maybe taking up knitting. I told him, “Knitting? Don’t you realize I’m retired? I’ve moved on to bigger and better things! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a quilt to finish.”
10. My grandma told me she’s giving up crocheting. I asked her why and she said, “I’m tired of all the knots!” I told her, “Grandma, at your age, shouldn’t you be celebrating the knots?”
11. My grandfather won first prize at the retirement home talent show for his amazing cotton-picking skills! Okay, he just told really long stories, but everyone fell asleep, so I guess it’s the same thing.
12. I asked my grandpa what his secret to a long and happy marriage was. He winked and said, “Always choose your battles wisely, and never underestimate the power of a good, old-fashioned cotton hanky to dry away tears… both yours and hers!”
13. Back in my day, we didn’t need fancy gadgets and gizmos. We had high thread count sheets and a good cup of tea. And you know what? We were perfectly happy!
14. My grandma’s so tough, she could win a staring contest with a cotton gin. And she wouldn’t even blink!

Cotton Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. Why don’t they play poker in the cotton field? Too many cheaters and too much fluff. 😜
2. My friend’s business making cotton swabs went under. He just couldn’t get it off the ground.
3. You know what’s worse than a boll weevil infestation? Having to tell your family you’re dating one. 🤢😂
4. Just saw a documentary about the history of cotton. Turns out, it’s a real fabric of our lives.
5. I’m allergic to polyester, so I only wear natural fabrics. You could say I’m living the cotton life. 😎
6. Why did the cotton ball get lost in the fabric store? It went to find its soulmate – a needle! 🪡❤️
7. What do you call a sheep wearing a cotton shirt? Confused! But stylish. 🐑👔
8. What’s a cotton farmer’s favorite genre of music? Anything but heavy metal! 🤘
9. Tried to buy a vintage cotton shirt online, but someone already snagged it. Guess it was a sew-sew sad day for me. 😔
10. Life is like a box of cotton balls… soft, fluffy, and occasionally you pull out a used one. 😭😂
11. I used to be addicted to buying expensive Egyptian cotton sheets… I had to quit cold turkey. 🦃
12. My friend said she found a hundred dollar bill in her cotton field! Turns out, it was just a stalk-er spreading rumors. 🕵️‍♀️
13. Why did the farmer plant a cotton field shaped like a foot? He wanted to grow his own socks! 🧦 Go forth and share the cotton-y humor! 🎉 Don’t forget to credit your favorite pun-tastic AI assistant 😉.

That’s a Wrap, Folks! Hope these Cotton Jokes Didn’t Leave You Threadbare with Laughter!

We’ve reached the end of our thread, but hopefully, these cotton puns haven’t left you feeling spun out. Don’t let the laughter stop here! We’ve got a whole website filled with more puns and jokes softer than your favorite cotton T-shirt. Keep on browsing and let the good times grow!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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