101+ Noah Jokes & Puns: A Flood of Laughs
Ahoy there, mateys! 👋 Ready to embark on a laughter-filled voyage? 🚢 We’ve compiled the best list of Noah jokes and puns that’s sure to tickle your funny bone and leave you roaring with laughter! 🤣 Get ready for some seriously clever wordplay and animal-themed humor that’s perfect for kids and adults alike. 😂 So, grab your life vests and get ready to dive into a sea of puns! 🌊 You’d be ark-ing mad to miss it! 😉
Top Noah Jokes – Best Picks
- Why didn’t they play poker on Noah’s Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck. 🃏
- What did Noah say to the animals when the Ark sprung a leak? “Hey everyone, can someone please pass the caulk?” 🔨
- Why was Noah a terrible poker player? He kept raising the ark. 😉
- Did you hear about Noah’s bakery? It was a real knead-to-know situation. 🥖
- How did Noah see the animals at night? With flood lights!💡
- What did Noah say as the animals boarded the ark? “Now I herd everything!” 🐄
- Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark-hives! 🐝
- Why was Noah the greatest financial advisor in history? He floated his stock while everyone else went liquid. 📈
- What did Noah say to the dove when it returned with an olive branch? “Olive it! That’s great news!” 🕊️
- What kind of hair products did Noah use? Dove shampoo and conditioner, obviously! 🧴
- What’s Noah’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal…he hates ark music! 🤘
- What do you call a group chat with Noah and all the animals? A real zoo-m meeting!📱
- Why don’t they serve pancakes on Noah’s Ark? Because they only had one ark. 🥞
- How long did it take Noah to find all the animals? Only two by two! 🐾
- And finally, why did Noah release the animals two by two? Because they only had one ark ticket! 🎟️
Clever Noah Puns – Best Picks
- Q: Why was Noah the ultimate micro-manager? A: He kept telling the animals on the ark to “move two by two!” 😂
- Q: What did Noah say to the animals when they complained about the rain? A: “Quit gophering around and get back inside!” 😜
- Q: Why did Noah get a job as a poker dealer? A: He was great at handling pairs! 😎
- Q: What did they call the documentary about Noah’s flood? A: “Whalecome to the Ark!” 🐳
- Q: Did you hear about Noah’s autobiography? A: It’s called “Water Those Odds?” 📖
- Q: Why didn’t Noah fish during the flood? A: He only brought one rod! 🎣
- Q: How long did it take for Noah to find all the animals? A: An ark-aeological dig! ⛏️
- Q: Why was Noah such a popular guy? A: He ark-ed around a lot! 😏
- Q: What kind of wood did Noah use to build the ark? A: Doesn’t matter, it was knot-pine! 🪵
- Q: Why was it so noisy on the ark? A: All the animals were lion! 🦁
- Q: What’s Noah’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but orca-stral! 🎶
- Q: Why was Noah such a good gambler? A: He always went all-in on a pair! 🎲
- Q: What did Noah say after the flood? A: “Well, that was a whale of a time!” 😄
Funny Noah One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Noah Jokes
- I told Noah I wanted a job on the ark, but he said I was unqualified. Seems like a real missed ark-portunity.
- Noah must have been a terrible poker player. He always had his pair o’ docks in his hand.
- Did Noah include fireflies on the ark? I heard he had an insect-iary.
- Noah’s wife walked onto the ark and said, “Honey, is this what you’re wearing? It’s the end of the world, not casual Friday!”
- Building the ark was tough, but Noah managed to weather the storm.
- What was Noah’s favorite type of music? Anything he could play on the ark-ordion.
- I bet Noah took the flood really personally. It was his arch-enemy.
- Noah’s kids must have been a handful. Imagine telling them to “go play in the ark!”
- Did you hear about the time Noah took the animals bowling? He threw a turkey!
- Noah’s carpentry skills must have been incredible. He built an ark that could withstand anything… except termites, apparently.
- You know, Noah was really ahead of his time. He invented the first multi-storey car park.
- Noah’s favorite animal on the ark? The cheetahs. He thought they were very spot-on.
- Having all those animals on board must have been smelly. Noah had to invent the first air freshener – he called it “Eau de Ark”.
- Noah must have been a patient man. Can you imagine waiting 40 days for a dove to deliver a pizza?
- Life on the ark was tough, but they always looked on the bright side. Every day felt like a “sun-day”.
Noah QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Noah
- Q: Why didn’t Noah fish much after the flood? A: He only had two worms left.
- Q: What kind of birthday cake did Noah have on the ark? A: Plain. He couldn’t decide what to make of it.
- Q: What did Noah say as the animals disembarked? A: “Well, that’s another fin-omenal voyage!”
- Q: How did Noah contact his wife during the flood? A: By ark-mail, of course!
- Q: What game did the elephants play on the ark? A: Squash. 😉
- Q: What did they serve for breakfast on Noah’s Ark? A: Cheerioats!
- Q: Why was Noah a good gambler? A: He always knew when to fold the animals.
- Q: What did Noah say to the animals who complained about sharing cabins? A: “Hey, just be glad we’re not in steerage!”
- Q: Why didn’t Noah let the beavers build on the ark? A: He was afraid they’d dam it all up!
- Q: Did Noah include any hippos on the ark? A: Only the hippo-potamuses. The hippo-potami stayed behind.
- Q: How did Noah tell where he was going? A: He used flood-lights.
- Q: What did the termites on the Ark say? A: “We’ve booked this cruise for the buffet!”
- Q: Where did Noah keep his bees? A: In the ark-hives!
- Q: What footwear did Noah wear on the ark? A: He wore clogs, naturally!
Dad Jokes About Noah: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried building an ark like Noah… I only got as far as the “ark-itecture” phase!
- How did Noah contact his wife? He used Noah-tifications!
- Why didn’t the animals play cards on the ark? The cheetah was caught using Noah-ther pair!
- What did Noah say to the animals when they complained about the rain? “Quit lion, it’s just a little water!”
- Did you hear about the chaotic Ark expedition? Yeah, it was a total Noah-brainer it wouldn’t be smooth sailing!
- Why didn’t they play hide and seek on the Ark? Because good luck finding any Noah place to hide!
- Noah must have been a terrible poker player. He always went all in, “Two animals of every kind? Noah-brainer!”
- What was Noah’s favorite part about building the ark? Putting in all the Noah-gular windows!
- Noah kept a journal on the Ark. Apparently, it’s full of amazing stories. Noah-doubt about it!
- Did Noah use blueprints for the ark? Nah, he winged it, but it was definitely Noah-piece of junk!
- What kind of music did they listen to on the Ark? Anything but heavy metal. Noah-body likes a heavy metal ark!
- What kind of trees did Noah use to build the Ark? I don’t know, but they must have been Noah-vailable!
- Why was Noah a good poker player? He knew when to hold ’em and when to floa-dah.
- How did Noah know what to bring on the ark? He had a checklist. It was Noah-dinary list, really.
- You really have to hand it to Noah. Starting a new world with just two of every animal? I Noah guy who could do that!
Noah Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why didn’t Noah fish much after the ark landed? He only had two worms!
- What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights!
- What did people say to Noah as he was loading the ark? “Hey, long time no-sea!”
- How long did it take Noah to find a parking spot for the ark? It was 40 days and 40 nights of circling the block!
- Why was Noah such a good card player? He always knew when to call a bluff-alo!
- What’s the difference between Noah’s ark and an apartment building? Noah only allowed two floors!
- What game did the skunks play on Noah’s Ark? Hide and go ewww!
- Where did Noah keep the bees on the ark? In the ark-hives!
- What did Noah say to the animals when the rain started? “Now I herd everything!”
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place to hide from this rain?
- Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? The elephant kept sitting on the deck!
- What animal complained the most on the ark? The whine-oceros!
- What did Noah do when he ran out of room on his computer? He got an ark-hive!
- What kind of hair cut did they have on the ark? Mane-ly long!
- Why did Noah bring a hammer onto the ark? To build an ark-ade for the animals!
Noah Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did Noah get a job at the library? He was an ark-ivist by nature.
- Noah’s wife was no fool. She knew she’d found herself a real catch.
- You know, building the ark was tough, but collecting all those taxidermy forms? Noah thought that was a real stuffing challenge.
- What did Noah say to the animals when the ark sprang a leak? “Well, this puts a damper on things.”
- What was Noah’s least favorite game? Flood-ball. He always felt it was rigged.
- Ever notice how peaceful it is after it rains? Noah gets it.
- What was Noah’s favorite drink? Anything he could get his ark & hands on.
- Noah was a terrible gambler. He always bet on the wrong tide.
- Noah started a band after the flood. They were called “Noah and the Ark-Angels.” They were quite popular until the dove flew off with the microphone.
- You know how hard it is to find good help these days? Just ask Noah. He was up to his ears in it.
- Retirement suited Noah well. No more monkey business for him.
- What’s the difference between Noah and a modern-day ship captain? One saved his family from a flood, the other knows how to use the WiFi on a cruise.
- Noah’s carpentry skills were clearly overblown. I mean, have you ever seen gopher wood furniture? Never goes with anything.
Noah Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why didn’t Noah like to fish? He only wanted two of every animal.
- Noah’s Ark was basically the original cruise ship. They were all “sea-king” adventure!
- Noah’s kids must have driven him crazy. Imagine hearing, “Are we there yet?” for 40 days and 40 nights!
- I bet boarding Noah’s Ark was a real zoo. Ticket process was a nightmare, though.
- You know you’re old when… You remember when “Noah” was just a guy’s name, not a meme.
- I tried building a replica of Noah’s Ark. I’ve only got two termites, but they seem pretty confident.
- Noah’s ark was the first and only time someone got away with telling their neighbors they were going to need two of everything.
- Noah must have gotten really good at telling animals apart. Was it gnu to him by the end?
- Building an ark is impressive, but have you ever tried finding a parking space for one? Talk about a Noah-win situation.
- Noah’s carpentry skills were on point. He really nailed the ark design.
- I’d love to hear Noah’s TED Talk. “Flood Management: A Beginner’s Guide.”
- Someone should have told Noah about online dating. Maybe then he wouldn’t have needed a whole ark.
- Just read a great book about Noah’s Ark. It was riveting, with a great ark.
- Noah probably had a love-hate relationship with rain. After 40 days, even the sound would drive you batty.
- What’s the opposite of Noah’s Ark? A flood of tears when you realize you forgot the mosquito repellent.
Noah More Puns, That’s All Folks!
We hope these Noah jokes floated your ark and left you feeling anything but ashore-d! If you’re thirsty for more puns and jokes that are kraken good, be sure to sail on over to our website. We’ve got a whole ocean of hilarious content that’s sure to keep you laughing for forty days and forty nights!
