145+ Cruise Puns & Jokes: Seas the Day of Laughter!
Ahoy there, fellow pun-thusiasts and lovers of all things cruise-y! 🛳️ Get ready to embark on a journey of laughter with the best list of cruise puns and jokes about cruise ships that’s sure to keep you giggling from port to starboard. 😂 Whether you’re a seasoned cruiser or a landlubber looking for some maritime humor, we’ve got you covered. This collection of clever and positive jokes about cruises is perfect for kids and adults alike. So, grab your life vest (you won’t need it for this voyage, but it adds to the ambiance) and get ready to set sail for a sea of humor! 😄
Top ‘Cruise Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why did the seashells refuse to board the cruise ship? Because they were tide of the same old voyage!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise? A carib-bbean one!
- I met a girl on a cruise who said she was falling for me. I should’ve gotten her number before she went overboard!
- What’s the difference between a cruise ship and a time machine? On a time machine, you can’t get seasick from all that time travel!
- My wife wanted to go on a cruise to see the rock formations… I said, “We have Netflix, chill out!”
- I went on a cruise themed after my favorite fruit. It was a real peach of a trip!
- I went on a “Mystery Cruise,” but I immediately figured out the mystery… Where did all my money go?
- What kind of music do they play on a pirate cruise ship? Nep-Tunes!
- Why are fish so easy to convince? Because they fall for anything, hook, line, and sinker!
- Why did the shrimp always order a double serving on the cruise? He was a little shellfish!
- What do you call a cruise ship that only travels in freshwater? A lake-zy riverboat!
- I saw a sign at the cruise buffet that said “All You Can Eat”… Challenge accepted!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo on a cruise ship? A pouch potato!
- I tried to learn the Macarena before my cruise… Turns out I’m better at the Sea-arena.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of dessert? Strawberry ice-cream, with a scoop of plundered booty!
- My grandma went on a cruise and won $10,000 at bingo! They say she really cleaned up on the Lido Deck!
- I booked a cruise that promised “Unlimited Wifi”… Turns out, “unlimited” referred to the wait time!
Clever ‘Cruise Puns’ – Best Picks
- I’m not saying the cruise ship food was bad, but I saw a shrimp cocktail carrying a life preserver. 🍤🆘️
- What do you call a cruise ship that sells discounted furniture? IKEA on the Water! 🛳️🇸🇪
- My bank account after booking the cruise? Let’s just say it’s feeling a little “ship”wrecked. 💸😭
- I wanted to try waterskiing on the cruise, but I kept getting knot what I was doing. 🌊🤨
- I booked a cruise to get away from it all. Turns out, “it all” can swim. 🤦♀️🦈
- The lifeboats on our cruise were made of crackers. What can I say? They were life-saving biscuits. 🍪🚣♀️
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise? A yarrrr-ibbean one! 🏴☠️🗺️
- I met a magician on the cruise who turned the pool into beer! Sadly, it was only a light beer. 🍻🪄
- My grandma won the cruise ship belly flop contest. They called her the “Queen of the Splash.” 👵💦👑
- The cruise ship had a talent show. I signed up for the limbo, but I chickened out at the last minute. I just couldn’t get under the wire. 🐓🚧
- They had a sale on cruises, but I missed the boat. 🛳️💨
- My luggage went on a separate adventure during the cruise. I guess you could say it went “cargo” mode. 🧳✈️
- The dance floor on the cruise was always packed. I guess you could say it was the “sea” to be! 💃🕺
- I tried to order a “Titanic” cocktail on the cruise, but the bartender said it was a bad idea. He said it would be a disaster. 🍸🧊
- The cruise had a strict dress code for dinner. Apparently, “barefoot and bikini” wasn’t considered “cruise casual.” 👙🦶🚫
- The captain kept yelling “Seas the day!” I think he took the motivational posters a little too seriously. 👨✈️💪
- I wanted to learn how to navigate on the cruise. I guess you could say I wanted to “chart” my own course! 🗺️🧭
- The buffet line on the cruise was so long, it felt like a never-ending voyage for food. 🚶♀️🚶♂️🚶🚶♀️
- I had a “whale” of a time on my cruise. I’m not “lion,” it was amazing! 🐳🦁😂
Funny ‘Cruise One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Cruise Jokes
- I wanted to go on a cruise by myself, but they told me I couldn’t be “sea-single.”
- My wife wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise, but I told her to Havana good time somewhere else.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise? A sail-abration!
- I met a girl on a cruise who said she was falling for me… I should’ve jumped ship when I had the chance.
- Going on a cruise is the only time it’s socially acceptable to wear a life vest to dinner.
- What’s a seagull’s favorite cruise activity? Ship-watching.
- I’m not saying the cruise was expensive, but I had to work ship-shape to afford it.
- The cruise ship had a terrible magician. He kept making all the drinks disa-pier.
- What do you call a cruise ship that’s always getting lost? The “Wander”-lust.
- They say love is in the air on a cruise… must be why I always end up with a head cold.
- The cruise ship captain was arrested for being a little too “ship-faced” at the helm.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite part of a cruise? The boo-ffet.
- I went on a cruise to find myself… turns out I left me at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
- What’s a cat’s favorite kind of cruise? A Meow-iterranean one.
- I tried to sneak some extra snacks off the cruise ship, but my plan went down in flames. Literally, they were flaming hot Cheetos.
- My grandpa loves cruising so much, he wants his ashes scattered on the lido deck… says he wants to spend eternity “sea-zing the day.”
- Why are fish so bad at poker? They always over-bet the “ocean.”
- I told my wife our next cruise would be a surprise… she was “berth”-ered to say the least.
Cruise QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cruise
- Q: What’s a ship captain’s favorite dessert? A: Cruise-berry pie!
- Q: Why did the comedian bomb on the cruise ship? A: He forgot his sea-legs and his material wasn’t ship-shape.
- Q: Did you hear about the cruise ship that specialized in bread-making? A: They said it was an all-inclusive knead-to-go experience.
- Q: Why did the engine quit on the cruise ship? A: It ran out of boat-fuel!
- Q: What do you call a cruise for dogs? A: A bark-a-teria on water!
- Q: Where do pirates go when they need to learn the ropes? A: Cruise control school!
- Q: Why did the shrimp get a job on the cruise ship? A: He heard the tips were shrimply irresistible.
- Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? A: You might think it’s “R”, but it’s the “C” that they love to cruise the seas with!
- Q: Why did the sea monster book a cruise? A: He needed a vacation after terrorizing the coast. He was feeling kraken up under pressure!
- Q: What’s a ghosts’ favorite part of a cruise? A: The boo-ffet, of course!
- Q: Why are fish so easy to con on a cruise? A: They’re always gullible when it comes to bait and switch tactics!
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the ocean? A: Too many sharks hanging around looking for a loan!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo on a cruise? A: A pouch potato!
- Q: What’s a cat’s favorite place on a cruise ship? A: The purr-imeter!
- Q: Did you hear about the snail that got kicked off the cruise? A: He was told to leave at a snail’s pace, but it still wasn’t fast enough!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? A: Sea shanties!
- Q: Why did the ocean get angry? A: It had too much salt and wasn’t tide down!
Dad Jokes About Cruise: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the seashell go on the cruise? It wanted to find its cruise-control! 🐚
- What do you call a tired cruise ship? Pier-pressure! 😴
- I won a free cruise in a raffle, but I’m afraid of pirates. I guess you could say I’m having second thoughts! 🏴☠️
- I just booked a cruise to Alaska! Apparently, they’re having an ice-cellent sale! 🧊
- Did you hear about the cruise ship that hit a reef? Thankfully, it only dented their voyage-er! ⚓
- My wife got me a captain’s hat for our cruise. Now that’s what I call a cap-tivating gift! 🧢
- My son keeps asking to drive the cruise ship. I told him he needs to waiter turn! 👨✈️
- I met a girl on a cruise who said she was from Athens, Greece. Turned out, it was just a myth! 🇬🇷
- I brought my own orange juice on the cruise to avoid the cabin fever! 🍊
- This cruise buffet is amazing! I’m definitely going back for seconds of everything! 🍽️
- Why are fish so easy to convince to go on a cruise? They’re always down for an ocean adventure! 🐠
- What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise? Lootin’ the buffet! 🦜
- What do you call it when shrimp fight on a cruise ship? A prawn brawl! 🦐
- The cruise had an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet. I’m stuffed to the gills! 🦞
- I took my dog on a cruise, but he spent the whole time staring at the ocean. He was really in the dog house! 🐶
- They lost my luggage on my cruise. Now I’m suitcase-less in Seattle! 🧳
- What’s the official dance of a cruise ship? The shuffleboard! 💃🕺
- I’m trying to write a song about my cruise, but I can’t seem to find the right lyrics! 🎶
- What do you call a fancy cruise for chickens? A poultry cruise! 🐔
Cruise Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the ocean liner get in trouble at school? It kept cutting class!
- What do you call a snail on a cruise ship? A snailaway!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise? The plank-ton of activities!
- Why did the shrimp blush on the cruise? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
- What kind of music do they play on pirate ships? Sea shanties!
- Where do sick ships go? To the doc(k)!
- What do you call a seagull with a GPS? Lost! (Because they always know where they are going – “I’m gull-timate-ing…”)
- What’s a whale’s favorite dessert? Ice cream with krill-ers!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cruise. Cruise who? Cruise the ocean blue and you’ll have fun too!
- Why didn’t the lighthouse win any races? It wasn’t very bright!
- What do you call it when a crab is on vacation? A shell-ebration!
- How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw!
- What’s a shark’s favorite game show? Name that buoy!
- Where do jellyfish sleep? On the ocean bed!
- Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? It had the tide!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? “Rrrrrrr!”
- What musical instrument do they play on pirate ships? The pi-ano!
- What’s a sea monster’s favorite subject in school? Oceans-ography!
- Why don’t they allow elephants on cruise ships? They can’t pack a trunk!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Cruise Jokes and Puns for Adults
- My therapist told me to take a cruise to reduce stress. It worked! Now I’m only worried about which buffet to hit next.
- The only reason I go on cruises is to practice my foreign languages. “Mai Tai” in Spanish? The same as in English!
- They say love is a journey, not a destination. But on a cruise, it can be both…especially if the Singles Mixer goes well.
- I wanted to bring my own liquor on the cruise, but they said it was frowned upon. Apparently, it’s “ship-faced” not “tipsy” they object to.
- A magician on our cruise kept making things disappear. Turns out he was just an employee hiding all the “unlimited” drinks.
- My friend complained about the constant “yacht rock” on the cruise. I told him to relax, it’s better than listening to someone whine.
- What do you call a cruise ship that caters to nudists? A sea-through liner.
- I went to a karaoke night on a cruise and sang a maritime classic. It was a real…ship-shape performance, if I do say so myself.
- Dating on a cruise is great. If it goes badly, you can always just…jump ship.
- I tried to order a specific type of wine on the cruise, but the waiter said, “Sorry sir, that’s not on the wine-derlust menu.”
- My doctor told me I need to watch my cholesterol, especially after the cruise. Guess I went a bit overboard on the shrimp-cocktail diet.
- My ex-boyfriend is now a cruise ship captain. Talk about a bitter end to a relationship.
- I told my wife I booked us on a clothing-optional cruise. She wasn’t amused. I guess I shouldn’t have sprung it on her like that.
- The lifeboat drill on the cruise was chaotic. I guess you could say it was an abandon ship mentality…but with bad organization.
- What do you call it when two cruise ships collide? A relation-ship gone wrong.
- The cruise ship casino was full of high rollers. I guess you could say the stakes were…high tide.
Cruise Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- My bank account after booking a cruise? Well, let’s just say it’s feeling a little… tide down. 😩😂
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cruise? A carib-bbean one, of course! 🏴☠️🍹
- What do you call a cruise ship that sells discounted tickets? A sail! 🚢🤑
- I’m not saying the cruise was expensive, but I did have to sell my car for gas money… for the lifeboat. 🚗💨🌊
- Just booked a cruise for my plants. They need some time off to re-leaf. 🌿🛳️ #PlantParentLife
- I went on a cruise to get away from it all… turns out “it all” can swim and fit in a Speedo. 🤦♂️🏊♂️
- Me, trying to subtly take pictures of the unlimited buffet food on the cruise without looking like a ravenous beast. 🍽️📸🐺
- Packing for a cruise is a delicate balance between “I might need this ballgown” and “I literally live in this swimsuit now.” 💃👙🤔
- My grandma just started online dating and all her profile pics are from her cruise last year. She’s really “seizing the day.” 👵🛳️💕 #LoveBoat
- They say love is a journey, not a destination. But on a cruise, it’s definitely both. 😉🚢❤️
- I’m not sure what’s more chaotic, the waves on a stormy sea or the line for the buffet when it opens. 🌊🍽️🤯
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Especially on a cruise. 🦐🦞🦀 #NoRegrets
- My biggest fear on a cruise? Getting hit on by someone who thinks I’m rich… and then realizing I left my cabin door unlocked. 😬🛳️😨
- Went on a cruise and all I got was this lousy sunburn and a newfound addiction to piña coladas. Totally worth it. 😎🍹🌴
- Cruise ship yoga: Find your inner peace… while simultaneously battling the urge to steal your neighbor’s breakfast pastry. 🙏🧘♀️🥐
- What’s a cruise ship captain’s favorite song? “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot… because he likes big boats and he cannot lie. 🎤🛳️🍑 #SorryNotSorry
- Me, trying to explain to my cat why he can’t come on the cruise: “It’s not a giant floating cat toy, Mittens!” 🐈🛳️🙅♀️
- I’m not saying I’m obsessed with cruises, but I do check the price of cabins the same way I check the weather. 🚢🗓️🤩 #CruiseLife
Seas the Pun? Time to Shove Off!
Well, shipmates, we’ve reached the end of our pun-derful journey through the world of cruise jokes! We hope these puns and jokes have made you laugh your port side off. But don’t jump ship just yet! There’s a whole ocean of hilarious puns and jokes to discover on our website. So, hoist the sails and navigate your way to more punny adventures!
