99+ Neck Puns & Jokes: You’re a Pain in the Neck!
Get ready to stretch those laugh muscles, because we’re about to dive head-first into the world of neck jokes! 😂 This list is packed with the best puns and humor, serving up a hilarious blend of clever wordplay and silly fun that even kids will enjoy. So, prepare for some seriously funny neck-nomics – these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone! 🦴 🤣
Top Neck Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the giraffe get hired at the factory? Because he was head and shoulders above the competition, and his resume was neck and neck with the other applicants.
- What did the scarf say to the neck? “Hey there, just hanging out.”
- My friend tried to tell me turtles are faster than snails in every way. I stuck my neck out and disagreed.
- I saw a guy stretching his neck to get a better view at a concert. I thought, “That takes some nerve!”
- Why don’t vampires like turtleneck sweaters? They’re a pain in the neck to get on and off.
- What do you call it when a giraffe chokes on apple juice? A close call, neck minute you think it’s all over.
- Someone complimented my bravery today. I guess they liked my neckstasy.
- Why are giraffes so good at social distancing? They’ve got a natural head start, and they keep everyone at neck’s length.
- My friend strained his neck trying to see a low-flying bird. Apparently, he didn’t see eye to neck with the idea of binoculars.
- I wanted to wear my new necklace to the zoo, but then I thought… Nah, that’s too on the nose.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs, and the giraffes stick their necks into everyone’s business.
- What did the detective say when he couldn’t solve the case? “This mystery is a real pain in the neck!”
- My friend said he wanted to be a chiropractor for giraffes. I told him, “Sounds like a tall order!” He replied, “I know, it’s a pain in the neck getting up there!”
- Why are giraffes considered gossips? Have you seen how long their necks are? They hear everything!

Clever Neck Puns – Best Picks
- What do you call a vampire with a sore throat? A pain in the neck… literally.
- A turtleneck walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he realizes he can’t reach his wallet. The bartender sighs and says, “Well, this is awkward.”
- I went to a zoo with just one dog in it. It was a shih tzu. What a neck-lection!
- My friend tried to make a scarf out of pasta. Talk about a neck-aroni situation!
- What did the tie say to the neck? Just hangin’ around!
- I started a band called “The Stiff Necks”. We mostly do covers of Head & Shoulders commercials.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field… and because he had a killer neck-tie collection.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs… and giraffes trying to “neck” their way to a win.
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite shirt? A V-neck!
- My friend is obsessed with making tiny sweaters for giraffes. I think it’s a neck-worthy cause.
- My friend said his chiropractor was a real life saver. I told him, “That’s neck-cellent news!”
- Why are giraffes so good at ballet? They never lose their balance, thanks to their graceful necks-pertise!
- I tried to write a song about a turtleneck, but I kept getting stuck. It was a real pain in the neck.
Funny Neck One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Neck Jokes
- I told my friend all about my aching neck… he said, “Oh, the irony, that’s what you get for sticking your neck out for everyone!”
- I saw a giraffe in a turtleneck sweater at the zoo. I thought, “That’s a little over-the-neck, isn’t it?”
- I tried to make a necklace of airplane seats… turns out, they’re a real pain in the neck.
- Met a vampire who was also a chiropractor. He really knew how to neck his patients back into shape.
- I got fired from my job at the scarf factory. They said I was always sticking my neck out where it didn’t belong.
- A turtle’s favorite drink is slow-mo-jito because it takes them so long to crane their neck back to swallow.
- Why don’t they allow giraffes on roller coasters? Because they’d stick their necks out too far!
- What do you call a dinosaur with a sore neck? A pain in the neck-osaur!
- I told my friend my neck was sore from sleeping wrong. He said, “Try sleeping right next time!”
- My friend said he wanted a job where he could really “stick his neck out.” So, I got him a job as a giraffe feeder.
- I wonder if Dracula ever gets a crick in his neck from sleeping in a coffin all day.
- Tried to explain to a robot that he was being a pain in the neck. Turns out, he didn’t have one. Go figure.
- My friend tried to make a sweater out of rubber bands… talk about a pain in the neck to get on!
- Just saw a sign that said “Neckties 50% off!” What a steal!
- If you’re ever feeling down, just remember… at least you’re not a giraffe trying to put on a turtleneck!
Neck QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Neck
- Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a sore neck? A: A pain in the neck-osaur!
- Q: Why did the giraffe win the staring contest? A: He had a head start on the competition!
- Q: What did the necklace say to the neck? A: “You’re really getting on my nerves!”
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs! (This is a pun, playing on “cheetahs” sounding like “cheaters” and the expression “neck and neck” used to describe a close competition.)
- Q: Why are vampires always up-to-date on current events? A: Because they get their news firsthand! (Refers to vampires biting necks)
- Q: What’s a chiropractor’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good neck-beat!
- Q: What happens when you fall in love with a necktie? A: You end up getting choked by your emotions!
- Q: What’s a giraffe’s worst nightmare? A: A crick in the neck!
- Q: What do you call a turtleneck sweater that’s always in trouble? A: A knit-pick!
- Q: What did the mom say to her son who was playing video games all day? A: “Don’t you think you’ve had enough screen time? Go get some neck-ercise!”
- Q: Why did the robot refuse to wear the scarf? A: It said it was a fashion faux-bolt!
- Q: Why is being a giraffe so exhausting? A: They have long necks to do, and they have long necks to go!
Dad Jokes About Neck: Pun-Filled Quips
- Me: “This shirt feels a little tight around the neck.” Dad: “Don’t worry, it’s just a choker!”
- Someone: “What’s your favorite dinosaur?” Dad: “The Tyrannosaurus Rex, hands down…or should I say, no hands, just a neck?”
- Dad: pointing to a giraffe “Look kids, it’s a long-distance caller!” Kid: “Why?” Dad: “Because it’s got a really long neck!”
- Dad: “I saw a ghost playing the guitar earlier.” Kid: “Really, where?!” Dad: “Right over there by the neck-romancer!”
- Dad: holding up a broken necklace “This is what I call a real pain in the neck!”
- Dad: “What do you call it when a vampire has a sore throat? ” Kid: “What?” Dad: “A pain in the neck-ro-mancer!”
- Dad: reading a book about turtles “It says here some turtles can live for centuries!” Kid: “Wow, they must get terrible neck wrinkles!”
- Kid: “Dad, I’m feeling under the weather.” Dad: “Maybe you should wear a scarf, wouldn’t want you catching a neck-rosis!”
- Dad: looking at a map of Italy “The leaning tower of Pisa… looks like it could use a neck massage.”
- Dad: “Did you hear about the clumsy jeweler? He’s always getting himself into tight neck-laces.”
- Dad: “I saw a sweater sale at the store – all necks were half off!”
- Dad: “I tried to learn how to play the violin, but I could never get past the neck-st step.”
- Dad: “I wanted to get a turtleneck sweater… but then I thought, ‘That’s just too much neck commitment!'”
- Kid: “Dad, why do giraffes have such long necks?” Dad: “Probably because their feet stink!”
Neck Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What did the scarf say to the neck? “Hey there, just hanging out!”
- Why did the giraffe win the staring contest? Because he had a head start!
- What do you call a tired Tyrannosaurus Rex? A Neck-sore-us!
- Why did the boy put his head in the freezer? He wanted to make his voice a little cooler!
- What did the neck say to the tie? “Let’s knot fight!”
- Why are sweaters so understanding? They like to put themselves in your neck-t situation!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite jewelry? A neck-lace!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
- Why did the boy wear a lampshade on his head? His mom told him to be a little shady!
- Where do vampires keep their money? In a blood bank!
- What’s a musician’s favorite part of a guitar? The neck!
- Why did the robot go to the doctor? He had a virus in his system!
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me!
Neck Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the old man get a neck brace at the magic show? He couldn’t believe his eyes!
- I asked my chiropractor for some neck exercises. He said, “Sure, just try turning your head and saying ‘no’ to your kids every now and then.”
- You know you’re old when you and your neck have a love-hate relationship. You love to hate it.
- My neck is so stiff, it’s got seniority over the rest of my body.
- I went to a restaurant that specializes in neck bones. There was no atmosphere, but the food was to die for.
- Remember when “neck and neck” meant an exciting race and not just how close your chin is to your chest?
- I used to have a crick in my neck from sleeping wrong. Now, I just have a permanent resident.
- Why did the elderly couple break up? Because they were always at each other’s throats… literally.
- My neck is like a fine wine. It gets more and more pain-full with age.
- I told my wife I wanted to get a tattoo on my neck. She said, “Over my dead body!” I told her, “Now you’re just being difficult.”
- I tried to spice up my love life with a massage candle. Turns out, hot wax isn’t great for the neck… or anything else, really.
- I’m at that age where “sticking your neck out” is more of a medical emergency than a figure of speech.
Neck Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My friend told me wearing turtlenecks is back in style. I said, “That’s neckst level!” 😂
- What do you call a dinosaur with a sore neck from constantly looking up at airplanes? A Plane-osaurus! 🦕✈️
- Went to a zoo with just one dog in it. It was a shih tzu. Worst. Neck-perience. Ever. 😔🐶
- I told my friend I could tell the future. He asked how and I said, “Give me a second. I neck to concentrate.”🔮
- You know what they say, “Don’t get your neck in a twist!” …Unless you’re an owl. Then it’s encouraged.🦉
- My chiropractor told me to avoid stress. Guess I’ll have to give my neck-st presentation ever tomorrow. 👨💼😅
- What’s a vampire’s favorite shirt? A V-Neck, obviously! 🧛♂️🧛♀️
- Why are giraffes such bad liars? You can see right through their necks! 🦒🤭
- Just saw a ghost wearing a turtleneck. Guess you could say he was a little stiff-necked.👻
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! ..and excellent in the neck area. 🌾🏆
- What’s Dracula’s favorite dating app? Plenty of Fish… especially the neck-tarines 🧛♂️🐠
- If athletes get athlete’s foot, do giraffes get giraffe neck? 🤔🦒
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny! …Especially around the neck area. Too much makeup. 🤡🚫
That’s All, Folks! Don’t Strain Your Neck Laughing!
Well, there you have it! A whole heap of neck jokes to tickle your funny bone, or should we say, your funny neck bone! We’ve craned our necks to bring you the best, so why not browse our site for more pun-derful jokes? You won’t be able to look away!