98+ Tattoo Jokes & Puns: Ink-redibly Funny Body Art!
👋 Hey there, ink-lovers (and those who just appreciate a good chuckle)! 😂 Ready to get inked with laughter? This post is etched with the best tattoo jokes and puns, sharp enough to split your sides! 🤣 Whether you’re a pun master or just looking for some kid-friendly humor, we’ve got a list of clever jokes that will tickle your funny bone. Get ready to laugh your tats off! 💯
Top Tattoo Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the tattoo artist win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
- What did the tattoo say to the skin? Don’t worry, it’s going to be ink-redible!
- Why don’t scientists get tattoos? They prefer their findings to be peer-reviewed, not permanently reviewed!
- My friend got a tattoo of a barcode on his arm. Now he gets scanned everywhere he goes!
- I saw a guy with a tattoo that said “Typo.” I wonder what it was supposed to say.
- What do you call a tattoo that’s constantly moving? A tat-twister!
- A man walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his arm. The tattoo artist says, “That’ll be $200.” The man is outraged, “But the tattoo is of a $100 bill!” The artist calmly replies, “Well, you wanted it drawn to scale, didn’t you?”
- Where do ghosts get their tattoos? The ink-ubus.
- Why did the tattoo artist quit his job? He was tired of feeling the needle!
- My friend got a tattoo of a dictionary on his back. Apparently, he’s a man of many words.
- What’s the most painful part about getting a tattoo of a snail? The shell-shock afterwards.
- I wanted to get a tattoo of all the countries I’ve visited, but… I only had room for one stamp.
- Someone asked me if my tattoo is permanent. I said, “Only as long as I am!”
- Why are tattoos so addictive? Once you get one, you can’t ink-nore the urge to get more!
- I got a tattoo of a dot on my arm. I guess you could say I’m starting small.
Clever Tattoo Puns – Best Picks
- I’m thinking of getting a tattoo of a broken heart on my arm. I hear it’s all the ink right now.
- My tattoo artist said my skin was too sensitive for a tattoo. I guess he… derma-didn’t want my business.
- Just saw a tattoo artist who only inks animals. Turns out he specializes in paw-traits.
- What do you call it when a tattoo artist messes up your ink? A permanent error.
- The tattoo artist was so indecisive, he couldn’t choose ink-between designs.
- Got a tattoo of a snail on my foot. Now it’s a slower process getting ready.
- Someone stole my tattoo gun! The cops are looking for ink-dividuals matching its description.
- My friend got a tattoo of a dictionary on his back. Turns out, it’s a spelling bee champion.
- My tattoo artist is a real ink-spert in traditional Japanese designs.
- I’m not ink-lined to get another tattoo anytime soon. This one still hurts!
- Tattoo artists must get tired of hearing the same old ink-quiries.
- A tattoo artist walked into a bar… and asked for a pint of inspiration.
- My tattoo is of a ship. It’s anchored to me for life.
- That tattoo artist has such a steady hand, it’s like watching ink-credible surgery.
Funny Tattoo One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Tattoo Jokes
- My friend said getting a tattoo of a map of the world was a bad idea… I told him don’t knock it ’til you’ve triad it.
- I got a tattoo of a dollar sign on my foot once… Now every time I walk it’s like I’m earning money! Well, technically, I’m still losing money.
- People always ask if getting my back tattoo hurt… I respond, “Only when I laugh.”
- Just saw a guy with a tattoo that said “Insert Here”. How original.
- My tattoo artist is so talented, he can draw a perfect circle freehand… Well, technically, it’s on hand.
- Got a tattoo artist to write “Out of Order” on my broken printer. Hopefully, that fixes it.
- My new tattoo is invisible to the naked eye… Not sure why I paid for it now.
- Thinking of getting a tattoo of a broken heart on my arm… But then I realized, I don’t want people asking me who I’m armored over.
- They say tattoos are addictive… Must be why they call them tattoos and not justone.
- What do you call it when a tattoo artist makes a mistake? A dermis error!
- I got a tattoo of the alphabet on my eyelids… Now I can literally say I’ve seen it all.
- You know you’re running out of space for tattoos when your new tattoo idea is “To be continued…”
- My dad was furious when I got a tattoo of a teardrop under my eye. “That’s disrespectful to pirates!” he yelled.
- Someone stole the T’s out of the tattoo parlor! Now it’s just… awkward.
- I got a tattoo of a snail… It took forever!
Tattoo QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tattoo
- Q: Why did the tattoo artist refuse to give the period drama actor a tattoo? A: He said, “Sorry, we don’t do work in the past tense.”
- Q: What’s a tattoo artist’s favorite type of candy? A: A Jolly Rancher… they love working with all sorts of ink!
- Q: Why did the tattoo of the ocean wave look so sad? A: It was tide down!
- Q: Why did the guy get a tattoo of a dictionary on his arm? A: He wanted to wear his heart on his sleeve, but needed a thesaurus handy!
- Q: What do you call a tattoo that’s constantly changing? A: A work in permanent progress.
- Q: How did the tattoo tell the other tattoo it was seeing a therapist? A: It said, “I’m really working on myself.”
- Q: What do you get if you cross a tattoo artist with a gardener? A: Someone who can really make their designs grow on you!
- Q: Why did the chameleon get a tattoo? A: It wanted to make a permanent statement… eventually.
- Q: Why shouldn’t you get relationship advice from a tattoo artist? A: They always tell you it’s gonna last forever!
- Q: What kind of tattoos do math teachers get? A: Geometric… they’re all about angles!
- Q: Where does the tattoo artist eat lunch? A: On his ink-stand!
- Q: Why did the comedian get a tattoo of a microphone? A: He heard it was a great way to express his ink-dividuality!
- Q: How do you pay a tattoo artist who only works with dinosaurs? A: With Jurassic Park pay!
- Q: What did the tattoo say to the laser removal machine? A: “Don’t even try to erase my feelings!”
- Q: Why did the ghost get a tattoo? A: He wanted to feel a little more alive… or at least a little less transparent!
Dad Jokes About Tattoo: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son to think long and hard before getting a tattoo. He said, “Don’t worry, Dad, I’m getting a short and soft one.”
- What do you call a tattoo that’s always on time? A clocktoo.
- My wife got a tattoo of a seashell on her stomach. I guess you could say she’s got an abalone.
- Why did the dad tell his son to get a job at the tattoo parlor? Because he was covered in open inkings!
- Why did the tattoo artist win an award? He was inked-credible!
- I wanted a tattoo of a boomerang, but the artist told me it would be pointless. Turns out, he was right.
- Where do potatoes get their tattoos? The tater-too parlor, of course!
- What’s a tattoo artist’s favorite type of music? Ink-a-dink-a-do!
- I saw a guy with a tattoo that said “Regret.” I asked him if he regretted getting it. He said, “No ragrets.”
- My son got a tattoo that says “Mom” in binary code. I guess that’s his motherboard.
- I got a tattoo of a dictionary on my arm. It’s my favorite form of word art.
- My wife told me to take the spiderwebs out of my tattoo design. “But honey,” I said, “they really tie it all together!”
- You know the difference between a tattoo and a bad decision? Eventually, bad decisions fade away. (Just kidding, kids! Think before you ink!)
Tattoo Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the silly goose get a tattoo of a clock? > Because he wanted to be tattooed on time!
- What did the tattoo artist say to the itchy dragon? > “Quit dragon your claws on your new ink!”
- Where do rabbits go to get tattoos? > The hare salon!
- Why did the strawberry get a tattoo? > It wanted to be berry cool!
- Knock, knock! > Who’s there? > Tattoo. > Tattoo who? > To tattoo infinity…and beyond!
- What do you call a bear with no tattoos? > A bare bear!
- Why did the cookie get a tattoo? > He wanted to be a tough cookie!
- Why was the little tree sad about his tattoo? > It was pineing for a different design!
- What do you call a cat with a tattoo of a fish? > A catfish – duh!
- Why did the elephant get a tattoo on its trunk? > It wanted to address its insecurities.
- What kind of tattoo does a queen have? > A royal tattoo!
- What did the calculator say to the tattoo artist? > “Can you make me look sharp?”
- Why did the pig want a tattoo of a crown? > Because it secretly wanted to be royalty!
- What kind of tattoo does a ghost have? > A boo-tiful one!
- Why do bees have sticky tattoos? > They use honey as ink!
Tattoo Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired biker get a snail tattoo on his arm? He wanted something that symbolized his commitment to slow living.
- My grandma just got a tattoo of a semicolon on her wrist. She said it represents all the sentences she hasn’t finished saying yet.
- I saw an elderly man with a “Buy One, Get One Free” tattoo… Apparently, it was from his younger, wilder days as a two-for-one coupon.
- They say tattoos are a sign of rebellion. My 80-year-old neighbor just got a “Keep Off the Grass” tattoo – now THAT’S rebellion!
- My grandpa’s new tattoo is a bit faded. He says it’s vintage, like a fine wine.
- What do you call someone who regrets all their tattoos? An etcher sketch case.
- I wanted to get a tattoo of all my grandkids, but I ran out of room. Guess I’ll have to wait for the sequel!
- Getting a tattoo at my age is a big decision. I have to make sure it coordinates with my wrinkles.
- Never ask an older person about their tattoos. You might need to pull up a chair and settle in for a while.
- I’m thinking of getting a “Do Not Resuscitate” tattoo… But I’m worried the paramedics will just think it’s a suggestion.
- They say tattoos are addictive. That explains why my retirement home looks like a biker bar.
- Retirement is the perfect time to finally get that tattoo you always wanted. After all, who’s going to fire you now?
- I tried to give my wife a tattoo for her birthday, but the needle kept skipping. Turns out I was using a sewing machine.
- My doctor said I’m not allowed to look at anything stressful after my heart surgery. I guess I’ll have to cancel my tattoo appointment for that portrait of my ex-wife.
- I wanted to get a tattoo that represented my youth, but all the good spots were taken. Apparently, “Respect Your Elders” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Tattoo Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Someone offered me a tattoo removal cream for free. I guess you could say it was… on the house!
- Getting a tattoo is the ultimate commitment. It’s like saying “I want this on my body forevaaaaa!” (Dramatic chipmunk voice highly encouraged).
- Me: I want a tattoo, but I can’t decide what to get! Friend: Just wing it! Me: \gets a tattoo of a chicken wing\\
- My tattoo artist said my skin was “like butter!” I was flattered until he charged me an extra $5 for inflation.
- Just saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his head. I scanned it, turns out he was $4.99. What a steal!
- My friend got a tattoo of a snail… on his foot. He said it was to remind him to slow down, but I think it’s just snail-paced decision-making.
- I asked for a subtle tattoo. Apparently, my artist’s definition of “subtle” is a roaring lion wearing a monocle on my forehead.
- Me before getting my first tattoo: This is going to be SO badass! Me after: \Googling “Can you donate skin?”\\
- I tried to explain to my dad that tattoos are just like stories etched on your skin… He asked if that’s why his was about mowing the lawn in 1987.
- What did the tattoo say to the laser removal? “We had something special, but I guess you want to make a clean break.”
- Just saw a guy with a tattoo that said “Typo.” I wonder what it was supposed to say?
- I love telling people my tattoos are temporary. They last permanently, but hey, who’s counting semantics?
- Life is full of tough choices – like deciding between getting another piercing or adding to your tattoo collection. It’s a real ink-quiry.
- Don’t tell my tattoo artist, but I think I have a new design idea… Just kidding, it’s ink-credibly illegal to draw on yourself with a Sharpie.
- Found a genie who granted me one tattoo that would magically change with my mood. Turns out being indecisive is a permanent state of mind.
Ink-redible puns? Time for your own tat-too-dle-loo!
We hope these tattoo puns didn’t ink-lude too much cringe! If you’re looking for more punny masterpieces to tickle your funny bone, don’t be afraid to explore the rest of our site. We’ve got jokes about everything under the sun, and then some. You’re sure to find something that will leave you in stitches!
