105+ Stationery Jokes & Puns: You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me!
Get ready to laugh your pencil case off because we’ve got the best 😂 list of stationery jokes this side of the supply closet! ✏️ Whether you’re a pun-loving pro or just looking for some funny jokes for kids, this collection of clever quips and humor about all things stationery is sure to get you giggling. So grab your favorite eraser (you’ll need it for the groaners!), get comfy, and prepare to dive into a world of punny delights! ✨
Top Stationery Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the pen blush? Because it saw the paper!
- Why is it so hard for scissors to be trusted? They’re always cutting corners!
- What’s a folder’s favorite music? Heavy metal!
- Why did the stapler get lost on vacation? It took a wrong turn and got stapled!
- Heard about the kidnapping at school? Turns out it was just a ruler having a measure of revenge.
- What’s a pencil sharpener’s favorite dance? The twist!
- Did you hear about the notebook that got in trouble? It was caught doodling!
- Why did the glue stick win an award? It was really stuck on its project!
- I saw a sign that said “Staples: 50% off.” I thought, “Wow, what a great sale for a metal band!”
- Why don’t pens and pencils ever get into an argument? They know to always draw a line in the sand.
- I used to hate writing with high-end pens until I found one… That was truly remarkable!
- What do you call a pencil that can’t stand up straight? A lead-er with poor posture!
- What’s a calculator’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
- Why are envelopes always so optimistic? Because they always think the future is bright!
Clever Stationery Puns – Best Picks
- “I’ve got my eye on you!” – A suspicious-looking envelope
- “We’re always told to stay sharp, but I feel dull sometimes” – A pencil’s lament.
- “I’m feeling really hole-punched today. Need a break!” – A stressed-out hole-puncher.
- “Paperclip: because holding your life together is a thankless job.”
- “We’re always told to ‘think outside the box’… but honestly, this box is pretty comfy.” – A family of colored pencils.
- “He was a real page-turner…literally.” – A gossip column about a notebook.
- “Don’t get me started on my sticky past.” – An old Post-it note.
- “I’m feeling stapler than I look! Don’t underestimate a good binding.” – A confident stapler.
- “Just trying to keep things brief.” – A shy pack of index cards.
- “I had a stationery love affair…we just clicked.” – A lovestruck pen.
- “Having a ballpoint pen as your therapist is pointless.”
- “I used to be addicted to correction fluid…but then I turned my life around.”
- “Life as a highlighter: always trying to find the bright side.”
- “Don’t get wrapped up in what people say about you…unless you’re a gift.” – A roll of wrapping paper.
- “It’s okay to be ruled by your passions. Unless you’re a piece of paper, then you need a ruler.”
Funny Stationery One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Stationery Jokes
- I’m starting a band called Stationery, we’re gonna be huge… well, we’ll stay put, actually.
- I tried to explain to my pencil that he shouldn’t be so negative, but he just kept saying, “What’s the point?”
- I’m friends with all the highlighters, they always seem so bright and cheerful.
- Paperclips are always up to something, they’re real page-turners!
- Staplers are very dependable, always knowing how to keep things together.
- Post-it notes are always sticking their nose into everything, they’re so nosey!
- Scissors are always cutting to the chase, they don’t have time for small talk.
- My ruler told me he was tired of being underestimated, he said he had inches to prove.
- I saw a sign that said “Paper For Sale,” and I thought, “That’s tearable!”
- The paper went to the doctor feeling flat. The doctor said, “Looks like you’re just two-dimensional!”
- Just bought a hundred notepads. I’m feeling very jot-ivated!
- Why did the notebook blush? Because it saw the spiral-bound!
- I’m starting a stationery business. You could say, I have a lot of potential… paper-tential!
Stationery QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Stationery
- Q: Why did the pen get sent to the principal’s office? A: It was caught writing graffiti…in cursive!
- Q: What did the marker say to the highlighter when they were outlining a plan? A: “Let’s make this idea really pop!”
- Q: Why don’t they tell secrets in a stationery store? A: Because the walls have ears…and the paper might be note-taking!
- Q: What do you call a pencil that’s always getting into trouble? A: A lead-er of the pack!
- Q: Why did the stapler feel overworked? A: It had too much on its plate…literally!
- Q: What’s a pen’s favorite sport? A: Pen-cing!
- Q: Why did the envelope get in trouble at school? A: For passing notes!
- Q: Have you heard about the latest stationery-themed reality show? A: It’s called “So You Think You Can…Hold a Pen!”
- Q: What’s a folder’s favorite dance move? A: The File-Mignon!
- Q: Why are paperclips so organized? A: They’re always keeping things together!
- Q: What’s a pencil sharpener’s favorite movie? A: “The Lord of the Rings…of Graphite!”
- Q: Why did the inkwell go to the doctor? A: It was feeling blue!
- Q: Did you hear about the stationery store owner who won the lottery? A: Now he’s living a life of luxurious paper and fine-point pens!
- Q: What did the glue stick say to the paper? A: “We really stick together, don’t we?”
- Q: Why don’t scissors work well in groups? A: They tend to cut each other off!
Dad Jokes About Stationery: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Flying Stationery!” … Seems like a bit of an overreaction to me.
- Why don’t envelopes ever tell secrets? Because they’re always stationery! gets booed by family Hey, I’m trying to earn a living here!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… So I took it to the stationery store and got it a job!
- I went to a stationery store for a whiteboard. They were all out, but they said they could offer me a ream of paper and a marker – you know, in case I wanted to take notes.
- My friend said his therapist suggested journaling. I told him to try a pen and paper first. Seemed like a more stable relationship.
- Did you hear about the paperclip who won an award? Turns out, he was really good at holding things together!
- I used to be addicted to the glue stick, but I’m sticking to my New Year’s resolutions now.
- Why did the pen get in trouble at school? He was always jotting down notes!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! … Wait, that’s not about stationery. Why am I like this?
- Someone stole all the doors from the stationery store last night! The police have nothing to go on! dad throws hands up in mock despair
- Why are pencils so optimistic? Because they always have a point!
- What’s a printer’s favorite font? A-rial, of course!
- My kid asked me what the opposite of stationery is. I said, “Moving.” He’s been staring out the window ever since… I think I broke him.
Stationery Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the pen get in trouble at school? Because it was always stationery in the corner!
- What do you call a playful stapler? A paper clip!
- Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania!
- What’s a crayon’s favorite game to play at the park? Tag, because they love to be it!
- Why is paper so patient? Because it has high sheet tolerance!
- Teacher: “Use the word ‘stationary’ in a sentence.” \ Student: “My dad rode his bike to the station, Ery went with him!”
- What did the marker say to the paper? “Hey, we make a great pair!”
- Why did the pencil blush? Because it saw the paper it was falling for!
- What did the scissors say to the paper? “Let’s cut to the chase!”
- What happens when a pen goes on vacation? It takes a write off!
- What kind of music do erasers listen to? Anything but heavy metal!
- Why don’t they let crayons stay up late? Because they always get cray-cray!
- Knock, knock. \ Who’s there? \ Paper. \ Paper who? \ Paper now, I’ve got a drawing to finish!
- Where is a crayon’s favorite place to eat? Crayola Café!
- Why did the glue stick cross the road? To get to the other sheet!
Stationery Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retiree take up calligraphy? He wanted everyone to know he was well-versed in stationery.
- Heard about the stationery store owner who retired to a tropical island? Now he sells envelope-able vacations.
- My wife says I’m obsessed with high-quality stationery. But I told her, “Honey, this is bond paper!”
- I went to an antique shop specializing in vintage stationery. Found a beautiful quill pen. Turns out it was used to sign the Magna Carta. Talk about a writing experience!
- My friend’s a hoarder, but only for stationery. He says he’s just stocking up on memories.
- I accidentally put my credit card in the stationery store’s paper shredder. Now I have maxed out confetti!
- My doctor said I need to reduce stress, so I bought a coloring book. Turns out, adult coloring books require a PhD in stationery selection.
- What do you call a stationery store with a gambling problem? Stakes are high!
- I used to work at a stationery store, but I quit. It was just too paper driven.
- My grandkids are always asking me to buy them fancy pens. I tell them, “Back in my day, we were happy with a No. 2 pencil and a dream!”
- They say money talks… But my retirement savings apparently prefers to communicate through bank statements.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of stationery? Parch mint paper!
- A man walks into a stationery store and asks for paper that writes itself. The clerk replies, “Sir, that’s called money.”
Stationery Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a car covered in paperclips, staplers, and sticky notes. I think it was a stationery vehicle. 🚗💨
- What do you call a pen that can write in all colors? Stationery-ception! 🤯🌈
- I’m starting a stationery-themed band. We’re called “The Highlighters.” We’re really gonna mark the music scene. 🎤🎸🥁
- Why don’t pens ever get lost in the forest? Because they always have a point. 🌳✏️😂
- My friend opened a stationery store but it ran out of stock on the first day. Turns out, they had too many stationary bikes out front. 🚲🤣
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the stationery store? He took all the notepads and the ransom note said “Give me all the pens or the notepad gets it!” 😨📝💰
- I’m writing a book about all the things I love about stationery. It’s still a work in progress. 😉📚
- My therapist told me to express my feelings more. So I bought a whole new set of colorful pens. Seems legit, right? 😌🖊️🌈
- You know you’re obsessed with stationery when you get excited about back to school sales…and you don’t even go to school anymore. 🤩🎒🛍️
- My biggest fear? Running out of ink in the middle of writing a very important note. It’s pen-ultimate fear, really. 😨🖋️
- What’s the most honorable stationery item? Sir Ruler, of course! 📏👑😂
- Confession: I organize my stationery drawer by color. Don’t judge me, it sparks joy! 🌈✨😌
- That awkward moment when you can’t decide if you should use a pen or a pencil. It’s such a write or wrong decision! 🖊️✏️🤔
- Stationery is my love language. Receiving a handwritten note means the world to me. What about you? 💌❤️🌎
- I’m starting a support group for people obsessed with stationery. We meet every week, but only if you bring your favorite pen. 😉🖋️
That’s All, Folks! Pen’s Down, Fun’s Over (For Now) 😜
We hope these stationery jokes and puns really “clicked” with you! But don’t just sit there like a glued-down envelope – there’s a whole world of hilarious puns and jokes waiting to be explored on our website. Go on, “paper” over your boredom with laughter!
