102+ Marker Jokes: Puns So Sharpie, They’ll Leave a Mark!
Get ready to laugh your 😂 socks off because we’ve got the best list of marker jokes this side of the rainbow! 🌈 This collection of puns and humor is perfect for kids and adults alike, filled with more wit than a brand new Sharpie. 😉 Get your giggles ready, because these clever jokes and funny puns are sure to leave a mark! (Get it? 😅)
Clever Marker Puns – Top Picks
- Life’s short, use a permanent marker.
- Feeling sharp? I’m a marker.
- Don’t test me, I’m a BROAD marker.
- Having a marker-velous time!
- This pun is clearly marked as funny.
- Excuse me, are you a highlighter? Because you’re marking my world brighter.
- This marker’s write on time!
- Don’t worry, I’ve got this all MARKERed down.
- What did the marker say to the whiteboard? Write on!
- That marker really left its mark on me.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just highlighting your flaws.
- You’re one in a million! (Writes on hand) See? I MARKERed the occasion.
- Need a new friend? I’m marker for life!
Top Marker Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the marker fail art school? It couldn’t stay in the lines!
- I bought a marker at a discount store, turns out it was a con… artist!
- What’s a marker’s favorite movie? The Colour Purple!
- Did you hear about the marker who won an award? It was truly re-markable!
- Why are markers so bad at hide-and-seek? Because they always get spotted!
- What did the marker say to the whiteboard? “Hey, wanna draw some blanks?”
- What do you call a magic marker that doesn’t work? A tricking marker!
- Why don’t markers ever graduate? They keep getting expelled!
- You seem like a sharpie kind of person. I can tell by your permanent smile!
- My friend tried to sell his used markers as “pre-loved.” What a marker-up!
- I saw a sign that said “Caution: Wet Markers.” I thought, “Well, that’s an understatement!”
- Life is like a permanent marker, it’s messy, unpredictable, and you don’t always have a lid for it.
- I told my friend my marker ran out. He said “Maybe it was tired of your drawings.” I told him “That really marks my words!”
Funny Marker One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Marker Jokes
- I felt invisible until I drew myself a crowd with a marker.
- This marker’s performance is outstanding! It really makes its mark.
- That comedian was so funny, I almost choked on my dry-erase marker.
- I tried to explain to my dog that chewing markers is wrong… he just looked at me with a blank stare.
- Be careful using permanent markers; they can really leave a mark on you.
- My friend said he wanted to be a writer, so I gave him a marker. Guess he needs a bit more direction!
- Life is like a whiteboard marker – it fades away unless you really make your mark.
- I went to the zoo and saw they were having a sale on panda bears. It was marker down!
- I’m starting a band called “The Highlighters”. We’re going to be real markers of our generation.
- My art teacher told me to find my own style. Guess I’ll start by looking under the couch cushions with this black marker.
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around with the help of a permanent marker.
- Dating a graphic designer is great. They’re always leaving me little markers of their affection.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of marker? A whiteboard one – they love disappearing acts.
- I tried to use a marker as a bookmark, but it kept drawing attention to itself.
- Just bought a marker pen that changes color depending on your mood. Seems like a grey area to me.
Marker QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Marker
- Q: Why did the marker get a job at the construction site? A: It was great at marking its territory!
- Q: What did the red marker say to the blue marker after a fight? A: “Hey, let’s just agree to disagree…on paper.”
- Q: Why was the marker always in trouble at school? A: It couldn’t resist leaving its mark!
- Q: Did you hear about the marker that won an award? A: It was a real highlighter of the ceremony.
- Q: Why did the marker quit its job? A: It was tired of being capped all the time!
- Q: What’s a marker’s favorite movie? A: “The Lord of the Drawings.”
- Q: Where do markers go on vacation? A: To the Crayola Mountains!
- Q: What do you call a marker that’s always running out of ink? A: A big disa-point-ment.
- Q: What did the marker say to the paper when it was feeling down? A: “Don’t worry, I’m here to brighten up your day!”
- Q: Why did the artist take a marker to the bank? A: To draw out some cash!
- Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite type of marker? A: A blood red one, of course!
- Q: Why don’t markers ever tell secrets? A: Because they always leak information!
- Q: What did the Sharpie say to the whiteboard? A: “I’ve got my eye on you!”
- Q: How do trees use markers? A: For their bark-ode labels, of course.
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of marker? A: A disappearing ink one – for spooky messages!
Dad Jokes About Marker: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son to bring a marker to help with the yard work. He said, “What for?” I said, “So you can see what you’re doing.”
- I used to be afraid of using permanent markers… but then I realized they were outstanding!
- Why are markers terrible at hide-and-seek? Because they always get spotted!
- What’s a shy marker’s worst nightmare? Public speaking!
- Did you hear about the marker that got lost in the forest? He couldn’t find his way out of the woods!
- Why are markers such good artists? Because they really know how to draw you in!
- My wife got mad at me for using a permanent marker on the whiteboard. I said, “But honey, I didn’t want to make a rash decision.”
- What do you call a marker that broke the law? A highlighter-ender!
- I just bought a marker at a discount. It was mark-down!
- My kid asked what the difference between a marker and a politician was. I said, “One leaves a visible mark, the other just leaves a stain.”
- I was trying to draw a portrait with a marker… turned out it was an easy sketch!
- “Dad, can I borrow a red marker?” “Go ahead, but only use it for good, not evil. Unless you’re drawing the devil. Then evil is fine.”
- My wife asked me to grab the laundry marker. I said, “Sure, but I don’t think it remembers where it went.”
- Where do sick markers go? The doc-tor’s office!
- “This marker’s terrible! It keeps skipping!” “Well, what did you expect? They named it Skip!”
Marker Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the marker get sent to the principal’s office? > Because it was caught drawing attention to itself!
- What did the red marker say to the blue marker? > “Hey blue, looks like we’re in the same class!”
- What’s a marker’s favorite game to play? > Tag!
- Why did the marker quit its job? > It was feeling totally capped out!
- What do you call a marker that’s always happy? > A bright idea!
- My little brother tried to pay for candy with a marker. > The cashier said, “Sorry, little guy, that’s no good here.” He replied, “But it says right on it, ‘FINE POINT’!”
- Why don’t markers ever tell secrets in a vegetable garden? > Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans stalk!
- What’s a marker’s favorite type of music? > Anything they can draw inspiration from!
- What did the marker say to the paper? > “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
- I wanted to buy a fancy imported marker… > …but it cost a pretty pen-ny!
- Why did the artist use a marker to draw the ocean? > Because it needed a permanent wave!
- How do trees get on the internet? > They log in! 😉
- Why didn’t the green marker win the race? > It was always written off!
Marker Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they trust atoms with Sharpies? Because they make up everything!
- My retirement plan is going about as well as… holds up a dried-out Sharpie …this marker.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high. She seemed surprised. I guess she couldn’t believe I could even see her eyebrows without my reading glasses and this magnifying glass marker!
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a cheap Sharpie? The golfer can actually make a mark on the green.
- A permanent marker walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The marker replies, “What?! You have a drink called Permanent?”
- Why did the history teacher prefer red markers? Because he liked to mark the past with a splash of color!
- My doctor told me I had a magnetic personality. I guess that’s why I keep attracting all these markers. At least they come in different colors!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of marker? A spirit pen.
- Why are Sharpies so bad at poker? They always reveal their hand.
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around with this permanent marker. Look, an arrow!
- I tried to explain to my grandkids that this red marker was for important documents only… They looked at me like I just spoke in hieroglyphics. Kids these days!
- You know you’re old when… You have more highlighters than real friends.
- My therapist told me to express myself more. So I wrote all over my body in Sharpie. Now they just think I’m off my rocker.
Marker Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got a job at the Sharpie factory. I’m making my marker.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of marker? A spirit marker! 👻
- My friend said I should be a writer. I told him, “Dude, that’s my marker.” ✍️
- Did you hear about the marker that got arrested? He was charged with assault! 🚓
- My kid took all my highlighters and sharpies. He’s really marking his territory.
- My career as an artist really took off after I found my marker. 🚀
- I’m writing a song about permanent markers. The chorus is really catchy. 🎶
- What do you call a marker that’s always on time? A punctual marker. ⏱️
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite marker? A “highlight-er”! 🧛♂️
- My friend asked to borrow a marker. I said,”Give me a sec, I need to find my place.” 😉
