94+ Survivor Jokes & Puns: Outwit, Outlaugh, Outlast
Ahoy, fellow castaways! 👋 Ready to swap out your fire tokens for some fiery humor? 🔥 This ain’t your average challenge; it’s a list of the BEST Survivor jokes and puns this side of Tribal Council. 🏆 We’ve got clever wordplay for the strategists, funny one-liners for the challenge beasts, and kid-friendly humor that even a newbie could appreciate! 👶 So grab your torches, ’cause this list of hilarious Survivor jokes is about to make you the Sole Survivor of laughter! 😂
Top Survivor Jokes – Best Picks
Why did the Survivor contestant bring a ladder to Tribal Council? They heard it was time for a roast! 🔥
How do you make fire like a true Survivor? Flint-tation! 😉
I tried out for Survivor, but I got voted off before the show even started. Turns out, having “immunity idol” tattooed on my forehead was a bad look. 😩
What do you call a Survivor contestant who’s bad at challenges? Immunity-deficient! 😂
A Survivor player bragged about their hidden immunity idol… right before it got stolen. Guess you could say they were left idoll-less. 😔
Why don’t they let chickens play Survivor? Because they’d spend all their time forming alliances in the coop! 🐓
I’d win Survivor easily. My strategy? Lying low, forming no alliances, and avoiding the camera crew entirely. They wouldn’t even know I was there. 🤫
You know you’ve watched too much Survivor when… You start strategizing about which coworkers to vote off a project. 😈
Why did the tribe struggle to build their shelter? They couldn’t find the instruction manual-ity idol! 😂
What did the ocean say to the voted-off Survivor contestant? “Nothing, it just waved!” 👋
Being stranded on a deserted island wouldn’t be so bad… As long as there’s Wi-Fi and someone to vote off every three days. 🌴📱
My therapist told me to channel my inner Survivor. Now I make alliances at the grocery store to get the last avocado. 💪🥑
What’s a Survivor contestant’s favorite type of music? Anything but Tribal drums… they’ve heard enough to last a lifetime! 🪘
I’m writing a book about my Survivor experience. It’s called “How To Get Voted Off First: A Guide to Early Exits and Bitter Jury Votes.” 📖😂
Clever Survivor Puns – Best Picks
“This season of Survivor is fire!” “Yeah, they even voted off the last pyro.”
They say the tribe couldn’t get a reservation at the restaurant because they had too many reservations about the chef.
Did you hear about the Survivor contestant who got lost in the woods? He couldn’t find his bearings, but at least he had a compass-ionate tribemate.
The Survivor winner’s biggest fear? Re-gifting challenges.
I’m not saying the challenges were rigged, but the producers definitely pulled some strings… of immunity idols.
Jeff Probst is like the postal service of reality TV – he always delivers, rain or shine… or tribal council.
Being stranded on a deserted island might sound tough, but at least you wouldn’t have to deal with rush hour traffic. Talk about a Survivor advantage!
The tribe decided to start a band called “The Immunity Idols” – they were a smash hit, at least until they got voted off.
I tried out for Survivor, but I got eliminated in the pre-screening. They said I was “too well-adjusted” and “alarmingly hygienic.”
You know you’ve watched too much Survivor when you start strategizing about which leftovers to eat first to make them last.
The Survivor contestants formed an alliance so strong, they even shared their toothpaste. They called it a “coali-dent”.
The tribe divided their chores based on skills. The guy good at starting fires was in charge of dishin’ out the “burn” notices.
The biggest twist on Survivor this season? The contestants found a hidden coffee maker. It was a real game-changer…and a real pick-me-up.
Funny Survivor One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Survivor Jokes
They say the winner of “Survivor” gets a million dollars. The rest of us just get mosquito bites and trust issues.
My therapist told me watching “Survivor” is unhealthy for my paranoia. Now I’m suspicious of him, too.
You know you’ve watched too much “Survivor” when you start strategizing about which coworker you’d vote off the project first.
I tried out for the cooking show “Chopped,” but I hear “Survivor” has fewer challenges involving knives.
I’m not saying I’m good at “Survivor,” but I could definitely survive a zombie apocalypse… as long as there’s Wi-Fi and snacks.
The producers said the “Survivor” challenges were designed to test our strength, resilience, and ability to eat bugs. They forgot to mention the psychological warfare.
I’d be a terrible “Survivor” contestant. I’d be voted off immediately for my inability to lie convincingly… and my constant snacking.
I’m writing a book about my experience on “Survivor.” It’s called “How to Make Enemies and Alienate People Using Only Coconut Shells and Twigs.”
Dating is just like “Survivor” – except the challenges are more emotionally draining, the alliances are constantly shifting, and there’s no million-dollar prize at the end. Usually.
I’m convinced “Survivor” is just a social experiment to see how long people can resist the urge to strangle each other when they haven’t showered in a month.
The tribe decided to vote me off “Survivor” because I kept referring to the challenges as “team-building exercises.” I guess they weren’t into my corporate jargon.
They say what happens on “Survivor” stays on “Survivor.” They’re clearly forgetting about the therapy bills.
Survivor QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Survivor
Q: What do you call a “Survivor” contestant who refuses to participate in challenges? A: A Quitter Immunity Idol.
Q: What’s a castaway’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but Tribal.
Q: Why did the “Survivor” contestant bring a deck of cards to Tribal Council? A: He heard you had to play your cards right to survive.
Q: What do you call a “Survivor” player who’s always forming alliances? A: The Merge Collector.
Q: Why are mosquitos terrible “Survivor” players? A: They get voted off by the tribe… one swat at a time.
Q: What does Jeff Probst say to contestants who complain about the food? A: “Want rice with that whine?”
Q: Why wasn’t the “Survivor” tribe hungry after voting someone off? A: Because they were full of betrayal!
Q: What did the “Survivor” winner say when someone asked how they were doing? A: “I’m doing im-unity!”
Q: What did the “Survivor” contestant say when they accidentally stepped on a piece of fire? A: “Well, this changes my whole strategy!”
Q: Why do they need boats to get to Tribal Council? A: Have you ever tried paddling a Redemption Island?
Q: What do you call a “Survivor” challenge where players have to stand on coconuts? A: A test of their coco-nutty strength!
Q: What does a “Survivor” contestant use to call their family? A: A Shellphone.
Q: How do you find the strongest player on “Survivor?” A: Don’t worry, they’ll eventually outlast everyone else.
Q: What did the “Survivor” fan say when someone spoiled the winner? A: “You’re killing me tribe!”
Dad Jokes About Survivor: Pun-Filled Quips
I tried out for Survivor, but I got voted off the island early on. Apparently, I wasn’t very good at finding idols…or friends.
My son asked me which challenge was the hardest on Survivor. I told him, “It’s a tie between the immunity challenges and trying to survive on rice for 39 days.”
You know you’ve been watching too much Survivor when… you start strategizing over who to pair with for a supermarket scavenger hunt.
My wife said I’m not allowed to watch Survivor anymore because it’s “rotting my brain.” I told her, “That’s absurd! It’s clearly enhancing my strategic thinking.”
How do you know you’re REALLY a Survivor superfan? When your dog starts looking at your dinner plate like it’s a hidden immunity idol.
I’m not saying I’m bad at puzzles, but if I was on Survivor, my tribe would probably try to use me as a raft.
Watching Survivor has taught me one valuable life lesson: Never underestimate the power of a well-placed alliance…and a good bug spray.
My wife asked me what my strategy would be if I was ever on Survivor. I said, “Easy, lay low, make alliances, and avoid getting voted off until the loved ones visit. Then, all bets are off!”
What do you call it when the Survivor contestants have to make fire with nothing but bamboo? A “trial by fire.” Get it? I’ll show myself out…
I think my neighbors are secretly playing Survivor. They keep voting to kick each other off the HOA board.
Survivor Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the kid bring a ladder to the deserted island? Because they heard it was a great place to find “survivors” (survive-stairs)!
What do you call a group of bunnies who survived a shipwreck? A hare-raising tale!
What do you call a teddy bear who won a survival competition? A champion-ship!
Why did the fire say it couldn’t be a contestant on Survivor? Because it was already voted out!
How do you find a camouflaged chameleon who wins Survivor? Be patient, they’ll eventually stand out!
What does a tree need to win Survivor? Good sap-port from its branches!
What did the island say to the castaway who was voted off? See you never-ever land!
Why was the shy coconut voted off Survivor? Because it was too shell-shocked to participate in challenges!
Where do they send the winners of Survivor after the show? Back to their homes, they’ve been through enough!
What’s a ghost’s favorite challenge on Survivor? The immunity idol hide-and-seek!
What do you call a messy room that won a survival competition? A disaster-piece!
Why did the banana get kicked off Survivor? It threw a temper tantrum and went completely bananas!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite part of Survivor? Getting voted off and having to walk the plank-ton!
How do you survive on a deserted island with only a cell phone? Hope you have good reception!
Survivor Jokes and Puns for Elders
I tried explaining to my grandkids that back in my day, “Survivor” meant making it through the grocery store checkout line on a Friday night. They looked at me like I was the one who needed rescuing.
You know you’re getting old when the “challenges” on “Survivor” start resembling your daily routine. Who needs immunity when you’ve got a good heating pad?
My doctor said I was a “Survivor” after that last physical. I told him, “Don’t get too excited, the season’s not over yet.”
Remember when the biggest twist on “Survivor” was a tribe swap? Now it’s hidden immunity idols you practically trip over like a misplaced rug.
I’d win “Survivor” in a heartbeat. Decades of family gatherings have made me immune to mind games.”
My grandkids asked me what my “Survivor” strategy would be. I said, “Blend in, act helpless, and then guilt everyone into giving me their food.” They said, “Grandma, that’s just called ‘Tuesday’.”
They say the key to winning “Survivor” is building alliances. Honey, I’ve been navigating the politics of my bridge club for years. Consider me a master strategist.
You know you’re a true “Survivor” when you can still name all the contestants from Season 1… without having to Google it.
These millennials on “Survivor” complain about eating rice and beans. I lived through the Great Depression. I could make a three-course meal out of a potato peel and a prayer.
I find it ironic that they call it “Survivor” when they have all these camera crews around. Try surviving an afternoon with my family, then we’ll talk.
They say age is just a number. But on “Survivor”, it’s usually the difference between being a strategic mastermind and being voted off because you “remind everyone of their grandma”.
The only “challenge” I’d win on “Survivor” is the one where they have to stay awake the longest. Insomnia is my superpower.
My grandson told me I should try out for “Survivor”. I told him, “Sweetie, I survived the ’60s. Trust me, I’ve already seen it all.”
The true definition of a “Survivor”? Anyone who’s made it through another year of holiday shopping with their in-laws.
Survivor Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
I tried out for Survivor, but they said I couldn’t bring my extensive shell collection. I guess I’m just not cut out for conch-petition.
My friend said watching Survivor is like eating potato chips: you can’t have just one episode. I guess that makes me a seasoned viewer.
I’m starting a dating app exclusively for Survivor fans. It’s called Plenty of Buff.
Jeff Probst just bought a racehorse. He named him “Immunity Idol.” I guess he’s hoping for a fast pass to the winner’s circle.
You know you’ve watched too much Survivor when you start making alliances at the grocery store.
What do you call a Survivor contestant who’s always cold? A shivering wreck.
My therapist suggested I try journaling to deal with my anxiety. So I started writing about Survivor strategy. Now they just diagnose me with paranoia.
Just saw a group of pigeons fighting over a crumb. This is exactly like the merge episode of Survivor.
The tribe voted out the baker on Survivor because his cakes were always…under fire.
The fire-making challenge on Survivor is so stressful, it really amps up the drama.
Just saw a sign that said “Lost: One Immunity Idol.” Seems like someone’s got immunity issues.
I’ve watched so much Survivor, I can now predict blindsides with uncanny accuracy. Okay, maybe not, but a fan can dream.
What did the ocean say to the Survivor contestant voted out on Day 1? Nothing, it just waved.
Survivor is basically just an intense game of friend or foe in paradise.
Outwit, Outplay, Outlaugh: These Puns Survived!
We’ve extinguished the competition with these fiery Survivor jokes! If you’re still hungry for more laughs, don’t get voted off the island – explore the rest of our punny website for jokes that will make you say “I’m a winner at finding funny content!”
