109+ Graveyard Puns & Jokes: To Die For!
💀 Get ready to dig up some laughs with the best graveyard jokes this side of the tombstone! ⚰️ This list of puns and humor is perfect for kids and adults who enjoy a bit of clever wordplay. 👻 Whether you’re a fan of spooky season or just love a good pun, get ready for a grave amount of fun with these hilarious jokes! 😂
Top Graveyard Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they play hide and seek in graveyards? Because someone is always dying to be found!
- I tripped and fell in a graveyard the other day. I really thought I was a goner, but then I realized I fell for the same headstone twice.
- Heard they’re making a dating app for ghosts called “Grave Danger.” Swipe right for eternal bliss, swipe left for eternal rest. No pressure.
- My friend keeps telling everyone his job at the graveyard is “dead-end.” I told him to lighten up, it’s all about perspective.
- A writer died and was buried in a graveyard. His tombstone reads “See, I told you I was sick!” Talk about a killer punchline.
- Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits!
- What do you call a graveyard full of history teachers? The past times!
- Real estate agents are always saying “Location, location, location.” Guess graveyards are the last place they’d look for business.
- Why are graveyards so peaceful? No one kicks up a fuss!
- Why did the vampire get lost in the graveyard? All the tombstones had the same blood type!
- I’m starting a landscaping business specifically for graveyards. Business is booming! …Too soon?
- My friend asked if I wanted to start a band called “Graveyard Shift.” I told him I’d sleep on it…
- My dog loves visiting the graveyard. He says it’s a great place to meet new “tail”-wagging friends.
- You know you’re a true grammar nerd when you find a typo on a tombstone and it keeps you up at night. Rest in peace… punctuation.
- Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos!
- Went to a graveyard potluck… The food was to die for!
- If you’re ever feeling down, just remember… You’re one day closer to joining a graveyard band. Keep your chin up!
- Sign on a grumpy groundskeeper’s lawnmower: “I’m not always in a bad mood, sometimes I’m just mowing in a graveyard.”
- Just saw a ghost riding a motorcycle in the graveyard. He looked at me and said, “Hey man, I’m just trying to keep my spirit up!”
Clever Graveyard Puns – Best Picks
- This graveyard is so popular, people are dying to get in.
- I tried starting a business in the graveyard, but there wasn’t much life in it.
- Graveyards are really quiet places. I guess you could say they’re dead silent.
- What do you call a graveyard that’s always full? Fully booked.
- Having a bad day? Don’t worry, just go to the graveyard—things could be a lot dead-er.
- Thinking about opening a flower shop near the graveyard. I hear business is blooming.
- They say graveyards are haunted, but honestly, I haven’t seen a ghost of a chance.
- My friend said graveyards are creepy, but I told him, “Don’t be afraid, it’s just a lot of hocus pocus.”
- Graveyards are so dramatic, always full of grave consequences.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite weather? Tomb it may concern, I hear they like it cloudy with a chance of boos.
- This graveyard is so old, they have skeletons in their closet.
- Someone stole a headstone from the graveyard. The police are looking for a grave robber.
- Trying to keep my visit to the graveyard lighthearted, gotta keep things grave-ly humorous.
- Went to a graveyard party last night, it was dead fun.
- Don’t judge a book by its cover, or a graveyard by its tombstones.
- If you see a ghost in a graveyard, just wave. They’re probably just trying to be ghoul-ly.
Funny Graveyard One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Graveyard Jokes
- I tried starting a business in a graveyard, but there just wasn’t any market for it.
- I’m dying to get into the landscaping business, but they say it’s a grave career choice.
- They say graveyards are overcrowded. People are dying to get in.
- Being a gravedigger is a tough job, you’re constantly under a dead-line.
- I saw a ghost reading a book in the graveyard. It must have been a tombstone.
- Why don’t vampires like to go to graveyard parties? Too many stakes.
- Went to a graveyard party last night, even the food was to die for.
- The graveyard is the most popular place to visit… eventually.
- Heard there was an outbreak of laughter at the graveyard. Sounds like people are dying to get in there.
- Never trust atoms, they make up everything, even the graveyard.
- The graveyard is a great place to meet new people, just as long as they aren’t grave robbers.
- The zombies loved their new graveyard apartment, it had a killer view.
- I think the ghosts in the graveyard are starting to like me, they keep waving.
- The graveyard is the most peaceful place to be, nobody complains.
- I’m starting my own graveyard, business is booming.
- Always be kind to those who work in the graveyard, they have a thankless job.
- Graveyards are really popular, people are just dying to get in.
- When I die, I want to be buried in a donut graveyard. Sprinkles would be nice too.
- To make it in the tombstone business, you really have to push your clients to carve their name out in the world.
- Graveyards are such tranquil places. It’s where people finally receive their eternal rest, even if it’s just six feet under.
Graveyard QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Graveyard
- Q: Why don’t they play hide-and-seek in graveyards? A: Because good luck finding someone who wants to be found dead there.
- Q: What do you call a graveyard full of tired bones? A: A skele-nap yard.
- Q: Why did the ghost get a job at the graveyard? A: He was dying for some peace and quiet.
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? A: Grave Metal.
- Q: Why are graveyards so good at keeping secrets? A: Because they have a lot of undercover agents.
- Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A: A trom-bone.
- Q: What should you do if you see a monster in a graveyard? A: Hope it’s just someone having a grave misunderstanding.
- Q: Why did the vampire break up with the ghost? A: She said he was too wrapped up in the past.
- Q: What do you call a graveyard that’s always busy? A: A dead end job market.
- Q: Why didn’t the zombies go to the graveyard picnic? A: They only eat fresh food.
- Q: What do you call a graveyard with no headstones? A: A lost and found dead section.
- Q: Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the graveyard? A: He wanted to visit his friends in high spirits.
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of tea? A: De-coffining blend.
- Q: Why is the graveyard such a popular spot on Halloween? A: It’s where everyone goes to unwind.
- Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation? A: The Dead Sea.
- Q: What do you call a group of ghosts playing music? A: A deadication to their fans.
- Q: Why did the ghost get lost in the library? A: He went looking for the spirited away section.
- Q: What kind of flowers do you bring to a vampire’s funeral? A: Grave-ola. It’s crunchy and goes great with blood.
- Q: Why did the ghost cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation? A: A scare-plane.
Dad Jokes About Graveyard: Pun-Filled Quips
- I just got back from the graveyard. It was pretty dead there.
- Why don’t they play hide and seek in the graveyard? Because someone is always dying to be found.
- I’m starting my own graveyard business. Business is booming!
- Graveyards are very popular in October. I hear it’s where all the cool ghouls hang out.
- I met a historian who studies graveyards. He’s a real live wire!
- I saw a ghost riding a lawnmower in the graveyard. Guess he’s cutting to the afterlife.
- Did you hear about the fight at the graveyard? It was a grave situation.
- My wife is mad I bought headstones from Wish.com. They’re tombstones.
- The graveyard is a great place to learn about your family history … literally.
- My wife wants to be cremated, but I’m holding out for a burial. I already told her, “Over my dead body.”
- I went to a graveyard party on Halloween – it was dead on arrival.
- Not sure how they get the grass so perfect in the graveyard. They must have really good mow-ticians.
- Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store near the graveyard, of course!
- People who work in the graveyard take their work home with them.
- I saw a zombie drop his ice cream cone at the graveyard. He was looking pretty grave.
- I wonder if grave robbers ever get stage fright?
- What’s another word for a grave mistake? A tomb-stone blunder!
- My son is writing a book about graveyards. I’m dying to read it!
- Whenever I pass a graveyard, I always honk my horn. You know, just to let them know I’m not coming down there yet.
Graveyard Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating in the graveyard? Because they have nobody to go with!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? Anything spooky-themed or grave-metal!
- Why did the vampire get lost in the graveyard? Because all the tombstones looked a-grave!
- Where do ghosts buy their Halloween costumes? At the ghost-to-ghost costume shop!
- Why are graveyards so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re full of people who are dying to tell them!
- Why did the ghost go to the graveyard party? To lift everyone’s spirits!
- What do you get if you cross a graveyard and the ocean? A grave-wave!
- What position do ghosts play in baseball? Catcher, because they’re really good at catching flies!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite drink? Evapo-rated milk!
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack? Spare ribs!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation? A scare-plane!
- Where do baby ghosts learn their ABCs? At ghoul school!
- What do you call a ghost’s dog? A scare-wolf!
- Why was the ghost so tired after trick-or-treating? He went treating and treating!
- What do you call a mischievous ghost? A prank-tom!
- What do you call a graveyard that’s always busy? A dead-end job!
- What kind of tree do you find in a graveyard? A weeping willow!
- Why did the witch refuse to fly over the graveyard? She didn’t want to be a grave-dropper!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite game to play? Hide and shriek!
Graveyard Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t graveyards advertise? …Because their business is dead.
- A friend told me I should be more open-minded about alternative medicine. I said, “Fine, but I still draw the line at getting buried in a graveyard.”
- I tripped and fell in a graveyard the other day. I guess I took “resting in peace” a bit too literally.
- I asked the graveyard groundskeeper what he considered his busiest time of year. He chuckled and said, “It’s pretty much always rush hour here.”
- My doctor told me I need to reduce my stress levels. He suggested a long walk every day. I told him, “Look, I already live across from a graveyard – how much closer to peace do you want me to be?”
- You know you’re getting old when… the only people hitting on you are in the graveyard.
- My grandma’s a tough critic, even in the afterlife. I visited her grave the other day and left some flowers. Later that night, I dreamt she called me. Said the lilies were lovely, but the font on the card was tacky.
- I’m writing a historical novel about a graveyard. It’s got a great plot.
- Someone asked me if cremation is popular in my family. I said, “Can’t say, we haven’t looked into it for a few generations.”
- My friend keeps telling me, “Live every day like it’s your last.” I said, “If I did that, I’d be spending an awful lot of time in the graveyard.”
- Why don’t ghosts haunt graveyards anymore? … Too much competition.
- What do you call a graveyard that’s always full? …Deadicated.
- A cemetery worker told me business is booming. I said, “Well, at least someone’s dying to get in there.”
- I went to a psychic who said she could talk to my late husband. I said, “Great! Can you ask him where he left the TV remote?”
- You know, aging isn’t so bad. It’s the alternative that really gets under my skin.
- What kind of car do they bury you in? …A Subaru. It’s got that new car smell… of lilies.
- Ever notice how quiet cemeteries are? Must be all those silent generations.
- They say a watched pot never boils. Apparently, the same goes for graveyards… unless you’re in a zombie movie.
- Thinking about all the people who have passed through this graveyard… gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “heavy traffic.”
