90+ Hocus Pocus Puns & Jokes: You’ll Say, “Yabba Dabba Brew!”
Get ready to conjure up some laughter because this Halloween, we’re brewing a cauldron full of the best 🎃 “Hocus Pocus” jokes and puns! 😄 Whether you’re a fan of Winifred, Mary, or Sarah, this hilarious list of clever wordplay is sure to put a spell on you. 🪄 Get ready for some magically funny puns and jokes for kids of all ages – it’s time to get wickedly witty! 😉
Top Hocus Pocus Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the magician bring a ladder to the seance? He heard the spirits were a little high. 👻
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling! 🪄
- Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry? They don’t want to fly off the handle. 🧹
- What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite! 🧛♂️❄️
- You know you’ve watched Hocus Pocus too many times when… You start saying “Book!” every time you see a cookbook. 📚
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of mail? A chain letter! 🔗✉️
- Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them. 👀
- What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend! 💖
- How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “W”! 😂
- Why didn’t the zombie go trick-or-treating? He felt rotten. 🧟♂️🍭
- I tried to explain to my friend why Hocus Pocus is a classic… But it went over her head like a witch on a broomstick. 🧙♀️
- Hocus Pocus and chill? More like Hocus Pocus and thrill! 🍿
- Why is it so windy on Halloween? Because all the ghosts are going “Boo!” 💨👻
Clever Hocus Pocus Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to explain to my cat why we love Hocus Pocus. He was like, “It’s just a bunch of hocus meowcus.” 🐈⬛
- What did Binx the cat say about dating in Salem? It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus and feline games. 😉
- I tried to make a Hocus Pocus sequel, but the studio said it was a no-go. Apparently, “Hocus Pocus 2: Electric Boo-galoo” wasn’t a good title. 👻
- Why don’t they play poker in Salem? Too much hocus pocus going on—you never know who’s got an ace up their sleeve! 🃏
- I made a Hocus Pocus-themed workout class. It’s called “Ya Basic Witch Fitness.” 💪
- Want to know the secret ingredient in a witch’s brew? It’s a dash of hocus pocus. 🧪
- Someone stole my Hocus Pocus DVD. I guess you could say…it vanished into thin hair! 🧹
- My friend said she met Bette Midler in Salem. I told her, “You’re pulling my leg! That’s im- pocus- sible!” 🦵
- Dating a ghost is tough. All my friends warn me it’s just hocus pocus and ghouls. 👻
- My dog ate my Hocus Pocus spell book! I hope it doesn’t give him any ideas about burying bones in the backyard. 🐶 🦴
- They’re making a Hocus Pocus cooking show? Finally, now we find out what Winifred puts in her cauldron! 🍲
- Why is it so hard to find a good magic shop these days? They’ve all gone out of business! 🧙♀️
- I think I accidentally used a love potion from my Hocus Pocus spellbook. Now, every time I see my crush, I get butterflies in my stomach! 🦋 💖
- Hocus Pocus is my all-time favorite movie! I love curling up on the couch and getting lost in the magic, the mayhem…and the Winifred! 😉
Funny Hocus Pocus One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Hocus Pocus Jokes
- I tried to explain to my dog that magic isn’t real, but he wasn’t buying it. I guess you could say he’s a little hocus pocus-picious.
- I used to be a magician, but I had to quit. Turns out, it’s all smoke and mirrors…and a hocus pocus ton of paperwork.
- My friend said he could make my coffee disappear with magic. I told him, “Hocus pocus, don’t you focus on my coffee!”
- The magician’s rabbit wasn’t impressed by the tricks. He was all, “Hocus pocus? More like hocus bogus.”
- Dating a magician is fun, but confusing. Every time I leave the house, I wonder if he’ll hocus pocus me out of existence.
- The witch doctor only accepts cashless payments. He says it’s easier to manage his “hocus pocus” funds that way.
- I told my friend I could make his student loans disappear with magic. He said, “Hocus pocus, let’s see those focus payments vanish!”
- Why are witches such bad liars? Because their stories are always full of hocus pocus.
- This morning, my coffee vanished from my desk at work. I suspect it was hocus pocus…or Steve from accounting.
- I went to a magic show last night. I was promised levitation, but all I got was hocus pocus and a stiff neck from looking up.
- My internet connection has been acting up all day. I think it’s possessed. Hocus pocus, please reconnect us!
- The magician was arrested for fraud. Turns out, his hocus pocus wasn’t so legally sound.
- You know you’ve watched too much “Hocus Pocus” when you start saying “Hocus pocus” to your Roomba.
- What’s a magician’s favorite type of coffee? Anything brewed with a little hocus pocus!
- Never play hide and seek with a magician. They always win with their “hocus pocus” hiding prowess.
Hocus Pocus QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hocus Pocus
- Q: Why did the Sanderson Sisters get banned from their local coffee shop? A: They kept trying to pay with “hocus mocha” instead of real money.
- Q: What did the spellbook say to the cauldron? A: “Hey kettle, wanna brew up some hocus pocus?”
- Q: Why did the broom take up photography? A: It wanted to capture all the magical moments, not just be part of the “hocus focus.”
- Q: What’s the Sanderson Sisters’ favorite type of candy? A: Anything with a “hocus locus” center!
- Q: What’s Winifred’s least favorite holiday? A: April Fools’ Day. She can’t stand “hocus bogus!”
- Q: What do you call a magic show that’s a complete disaster? A: A real “hocus no-cus.”
- Q: How does Billy Butcherson feel about Halloween? A: He’s always up for a little “hocus pocus” and socializing— even if he can’t talk much.
- Q: What do you call a magic show that’s also a cooking competition? A: “Chopped and Hocus Pocus-ed!”
- Q: How do you fix a broken spellbook? A: With a little “hocus pocus” and a lot of magical duct tape.
- Q: Why don’t the Sanderson Sisters ever go swimming? A: Because their powers get diluted – it’s a real “hocus soak-us” situation!
- Q: What’s the Sanderson Sisters’ favorite board game? A: “Guess Who?” – they’re always up to a game of “hocus who-cus.”
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a spooky beat – something to get their “hocus pocus” going!
- Q: What’s the most important rule at Sanderson Sisters’ School of Witchcraft? A: Always double-check your potions. One mistake and it’s “hocus bogus” for everyone!
- Q: Why are the Sanderson Sisters such good singers? A: They always put their heart and soul into every “hocus chorus”!
Dad Jokes About Hocus Pocus: Pun-Filled Quips
- What did the dad witch say to his kids on Halloween? Let’s make this a night to re-member!
- Why did the magic broom break up with the vacuum cleaner? Because it said the relationship sucked!
- What do you call a tired witch who delivers packages? A weary spell-man!
- I saw a witch riding her broom to work this morning… guess there’s no Uber in Salem!
- Heard Billy Butcherson’s stand-up routine wasn’t very good. Turns out, his delivery was dead.
- What kind of music do they play at a witch’s party? Spellbinding tunes!
- Why is it so hard to trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Not directly “Hocus Pocus” themed, but fits the comedic tone).
- Winifred Sanderson started a rock band… they’re called “The Sanderson Sisters of Mercy.”
- My wife got mad at me for trying to use a love potion. She said it was a cheap spell-tation!
- Why is it so tiring to study magic? It takes a lot of con-centra-tion!
- Someone stole my witch’s hat! I was so mad, I felt like turning them into a newt… but then I got better.
- Those Sanderson Sisters sure know how to hold a grudge. Talk about holding onto some serious beef!
- Turns out, witches are terrible drivers. They’re always taking the wrong broomstick route!
- Someone keeps stealing my Halloween decorations! At this point, I’m starting to suspect witch-craft…
Hocus Pocus Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why didn’t the magician like fast food? Because he couldn’t trust any place with a “hocus pocus” drive-thru!
- What kind of bird loves Halloween? An owl-ween… hocus pocus!
- What do you call a rabbit that loves magic tricks? A hocus pocus bunny!
- Why was the ghost such a bad liar? You could see right through his hocus pocus!
- What did one witch say to the other witch on Halloween? “Have a gourd time!” … hocus pocus!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hocus. Hocus who? Hocus pocus, I turned your door into chocolate!
- What do you get when you cross a broom and a vacuum cleaner? A magic cleaning act! … hocus pocus!
- What sound does a witch’s car make? Broom, broom! … hocus pocus!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! … hocus pocus!
- What happens when a witch casts a spell on a frog? It becomes a prince… charming! hocus pocus!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing! … hocus pocus!
- What do you call a ghost’s bad hair day? A frightmare! … hocus pocus!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! … hocus pocus!
- How do ghosts get into parties? They use their spook-easy keys! … hocus pocus!
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates! … hocus pocus!
Hocus Pocus Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elder witch refuse to reveal her beauty secrets? She claimed they were kept under “hocus pocus” confidentiality. You see, what happens in the cauldron, stays in the cauldron.
- My retirement plan is pure “hocus pocus,” according to my financial advisor. Apparently, “wingardium leviosa” doesn’t work on my 401k.
- I tried explaining Bitcoin to my grandkids… they looked at me like I was trying to pull a “hocus pocus” spell. Now, who’s out of touch?
- My doctor said I need to take it easy on the sweets. I told him, “Hocus pocus, you’re now a podiatrist!” Let’s see him try to confiscate my cookies now.
- You know you’re getting older when… your idea of a wild Friday night is staying in to watch “Hocus Pocus” and critiquing their potion-making skills…with your cat.
- I tried to renew my driver’s license online but the website kept asking me to prove I wasn’t a robot. Hocus pocus, I’m 80 years old! What more proof do they need?
- Remember when we used to party all night? Now “hocus pocus” refers to how quickly I fall asleep after dinner.
- Back in my day, we didn’t need fancy wands and potions for “hocus pocus”. All we needed was a stiff drink and a wink. Now, where’s my martini?
- Me trying to understand my grandkids’ TikToks is like… pure “hocus pocus” to me. Honestly, it’s more terrifying than any Halloween costume.
- I finally found something more exhausting than chasing after toddlers: Trying to remember where I put my glasses. Now, where’s that “hocus pocus” memory spell when I need it?
- My joints make so much noise these days… I sound like I’m brewing up a cauldron full of “hocus pocus.” Next magic trick: disappearing knee pain!
- I put my name in the Goblet of Fire… turns out “Hogwarts” is just an elaborate retirement community with better snacks. This whole aging thing is a real “hocus pocus” trick.
- My neighbor thinks I’m a witch because I can make an entire batch of cookies disappear in minutes. Hocus pocus? Honey, please, it’s called experience.
- I told the telemarketer they had reached the “Hocus Pocus” hotline. Strangely enough, they haven’t called back. Coincidence? I think not.
Hocus Pocus Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to explain to my friend why their dating life was a mess, but they just accused me of… wait for it… hocus pocusing.* 😏
- You know, they say “hocus pocus” is the second most magical phrase… The first is “50% off!” 😂
- My attempt at baking a cake was an absolute disaster. Guess I need to work on my “hocus pocus” and less on my “focus…oops-es!” 😭
- “Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus!” – Me, every single morning. ☕
- What’s a witch’s favorite search engine? Ya-goo-gle! 🧙♀️
- Just saw a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat. I suspect “hocus pocus” and a whole lot of dry cleaning. 🎩🐰
- Me trying to fold a fitted sheet. It’s less “hocus pocus” and more like “hocus nope-us.” 😩
- Relationship status: Looking for someone to watch “Hocus Pocus” with me… every month… of the year. 🎃🍂
- Someone just told me that “Hocus Pocus” is just a bunch of hocus pocus. I mean…they’re not wrong. 🤔😂
- What do you call a skeptical owl in Salem? A Hoot-Doubter.🦉🤨
- “Hocus pocus, disappear from my to-do list!” – Me, attempting magic on Mondays. ✨
- I’m not saying I’m bad at my job, but I did just try to use “hocus pocus” to fix a spreadsheet error. 💻🤦♀️
- Dating apps are basically just modern-day cauldrons, right? A little “hocus pocus” and you might find your prince… or at least a frog. 👑🐸
- You say “black magic,” I say “espresso.” We’re both talking about a source of power and questionable life choices. 🖤☕
- Lost my phone again. If anyone finds it, just say “hocus pocus” and throw a pumpkin spice latte in the air. I’m sure it’ll work. 🤞🎃 latte
That’s All, Folks! No More Hocus Pocus From Us!
We’ve reached the end of our cauldron of “Hocus Pocus” humor! We hope these jokes and puns have left you spellbound with laughter. Don’t let the pun fun end here – fly over to our website for more hilarious wordplay that’s simply brew-tiful!
