135+ Witch Puns & Jokes: You’ll Be Bewitched By!
🧙♀️😂 Get your broomsticks ready for a wild ride filled with laughter! This isn’t your average list of witch puns and jokes; it’s the best, most hilarious collection of humor this side of the cauldron. Whether you’re looking for clever wordplay or silly jokes about witches, this post has something for everyone – kids and adults alike! So grab your pointy hat and get ready for some positively magical fun! 😂🧙♀️
Top ‘Witch Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why was the witch bad at poker? Because she kept getting caught bluffing with her witch-ful thinking!
- What do you call a witch who loves the beach? A sand-witch!
- Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat cap? It kept messing up her witch-craft!
- Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry? They prefer to fly off the handle!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing!
- How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “W”!
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the bakery? She kept trying to make a “curse”-tant cake!
- What kind of car does a witch drive? A broom-mobile!
- Why are witches such bad dancers? They have two left feet… and sometimes a third!
- What’s a witch’s favorite type of music? Spell-binding tunes!
- Why was the witch’s garden always dying? She used toadstools instead of tools!
- You know you’ve met a fashionable witch when… Her hat matches her shoes… and her cauldron!
- How do witches tell time? With their witch-watches!
- What’s a witch’s favorite drink? Fruit punch… with a dash of magic!
- Why are witches so good at baseball? They always know how to swing things their way!
- What do you call a witch who lives at the North Pole? A cold-hearted witch!
- Why did the witch invite a ghost to her party? She heard he could really lift the spirits!
- What’s a witch’s favorite way to communicate? By cauldronference call!
- Why did the witch cross the road? To get to the second-hand broom store!

Clever ‘Witch Puns’ – Best Picks
- Why don’t witches like baseball? Because they’re always getting pitched!
- I told a witch she was looking a little wicked today. She said, “It’s hereditary, dear. It runs in the coven.”
- Witches are terrible bowlers. They always try to use a cauldron instead of a ball.
- What do you call a witch who’s bad at her job? An unemployed-ment witch.
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the library? She kept checking out all the spell books and returning them with pages bat-torn.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing!
- Why was the witch always late? She followed the wrong flight path.
- I tried to make a witch’s brew once. It tasted awful. I think I used the wrong incant-dients.
- Never trust a witch’s advice on skincare. They’re always up to some new age hocus-pocus.
- Witches are terrible at poker. They always have a magical sleeve up their sleeve.
- Why are witches such good storytellers? Because they have a knack for cauldron-scious plot twists.
- The witch was struggling to pay her rent. Turns out, even magic has its price potion.
- Why did the witch invite the vampire to her party? She heard he could really drain a room.
- Dating a witch is exciting, but it has its downsides. Sometimes you get stood up for a cauldron-date.
- I saw a witch reading a book on telekinesis. I thought to myself, “Now that’s some next-level page-turning.”
- Witches make terrible architects. Their houses are always going through some kind of spell-renovation.
- I wanted to hire a witch for my party, but they were all booked. It seems like everyone wants a piece of the magic this time of year.
- Never interrupt a witch while they’re making a potion. You might end up toad-ally embarrassed.
Funny ‘Witch One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Witch Jokes
- You know what they say about witches? They’re always up to some-spell-ing mischief.
- A witch walked into a bar… I guess you could say she was looking for spirits.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing!
- Never borrow money from a witch. They’ll charge you an arm and a leg… and maybe a toe.
- How does a witch tell time? With her witch-watch!
- Witches are terrible bowlers. They always get a hex strike.
- What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!
- My friend told me she wanted to be a witch for Halloween. I said, “Witch-ever!”
- Be careful not to make a witch angry. They’ll turn you into a newt. Don’t ask me how I gnome.
- A witch’s favorite ice cream flavor? Spell-mint chip!
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Found-ation.
- You can tell a witch is a good driver. They have excellent car-witch-ality.
- That witch doctor is a real quack. But hey, at least he has his own web-witch-doctor.com!
- I tried to explain to a witch why stealing noses is wrong, but it just went right over her head.
- Witches are such bad listeners. They’re always thinking about what spell they’re going to cast next.
- Don’t invite a witch to your pool party. They’ll turn the water into potion.
- My witch friend is opening a bakery. She’s calling it “Bewitched & Bread.”
- A witch walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- How do you communicate with a witch? You use spell-check!
Witch QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Witch
- Q: Why did the witch get kicked out of the bakery? A: She kept trying to buy ingredients with “spell”ing errors.
- Q: What do you call a witch who loves the beach? A: A sand-witch.
- Q: Why don’t witches wear watches? A: They prefer using cauldron clocks.
- Q: How do witches tell time? A: With their witch-watches! (Get it? Wristwatches…)
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? A: Spell-ing.
- Q: Why was the witch having trouble making her broom fly? A: She was having engine troubles – turns out it was a witch-craft problem.
- Q: How does a witch get to work? A: She flies there on her broom-mobile!
- Q: What do you call a witch who’s bad at casting spells? A: A fizz-witch.
- Q: Why was the witch’s garden so successful? A: She used a “grow-fast” spell!
- Q: What does a witch use to surf the internet? A: A spell-phone!
- Q: Why did the witch refuse to use her phone? A: She hated getting cursed calls.
- Q: What do you call two witches who live together? A: Broom-mates!
- Q: How did the witch win the race? A: She took a short-cut, through the woods on her broom!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite kind of music? A: Spell-binding melodies!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and a detective? A: Someone who can solve any mystery… with a little hocus pocus!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite makeup brand? A: Cover-spell!
- Q: What do you call a witch who’s a terrible cook? A: A hex-chef!
- Q: Why was the witch’s cat so lazy? A: It had too many cat-naps!
- Q: Where do sick witches go? A: The witch doctor!
- Q: What did the witch say when her spell backfired? A: “Well, that’s just witch-ful thinking!”
Dad Jokes About Witch: Pun-Filled Quips
- I met a witch who only uses herbs and natural ingredients. She calls herself a Miss Demeanor.
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the bakery? She kept trying to buy broom-berries.
- You know what they call it when a witch crashes her broom? A sweeping failure.
- Why are witches such bad poker players? They have too many Trumps up their sleeves.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
- Two witches were arguing whose cauldron was bigger. It was a heated debate.
- Never lie to a witch. They’ll curse the daylight out of you.
- I saw a witch riding a vacuum cleaner today. I thought, “Well, that’s one way to make a clean getaway!”
- A witch just offered me a love potion. I told her I was already smitten.
- How does a witch tell time? With a witch-watch!
- What do you get if you cross a witch and a telephone? A spell-phone!
- I asked the witch for a prediction about my future. She said, “It looks grim.”
- Did you hear about the witch that opened a flower shop? I heard business is blooming.
- How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “W”!
- A witch walked into a bar… and ordered a Screaming Mimosa.
- Why don’t witches ride their brooms in rush hour? Too much traffic!
- What’s a witch’s favorite type of music? Spellbinding tunes!
Witch Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the bakery? She kept trying to sell spell-ing mistakes!
- What do you call a witch who loves the beach? A sand-witch!
- Why are witches such bad losers? They always fly off the handle!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing!
- What does a witch use to surf the internet? A spell-check!
- Why was the witch’s broom always late? It over-swept!
- How do witches tell time? With their witch-watches!
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
- Why did the witch bring a ladder to the potion party? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
- Why couldn’t the witch find her black cat? Because it was hiding in the shadow-realm!
- What’s a witch’s favorite type of music? Spell-binding tunes!
- Where do witches keep their spells? In a spell-book!
- What’s a witch’s favorite drink? Fruit punch with a magic twist!
- Why didn’t the witch like her new hat? It clashed with her witch-craft!
- What do you call a witch who’s really good at fixing things? A handy-witch!
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese!
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
- Why was the witch’s garden so magical? She used grow-the-flowers potion!
- What’s a witch’s favorite type of tree? A willow-the-whisp!
- How do you know if a witch is having a bad hair day? Her broomstick is covered in frizz!
Witch Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the witch refuse to upgrade her cauldron? She believed in a slow-brew future.
- Heard about the witch who opened a bakery in Salem? Her tagline? “Get your buns hexed!”
- My friend tried to tell me her coffee was cursed by a witch. I told her that was a latte nonsense.
- You know you’ve dated a witch too long when… you start finding eye of newt in the grocery list.
- What do you call a witch who’s bad at her job? An unemployed actress.
- Why don’t witches wear pointy hats anymore? They’re trying to keep a low profile since the housing market went goblin’.
- Just saw a witch riding a Roomba through the park. Guess even magic folk like a little domestic help.
- A witch walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m turning into a man!” The doctor replies, “Next!”
- They say if you listen closely in the woods at night, you can hear witches trading spells. Sounds an awful lot like MLM to me.
- What’s a witch’s favorite social media platform? Twit-cauldron.
- Why are witches such bad poker players? They always have a spell up their sleeve.
- What’s the difference between a witch and a disappointed customer service rep? One will curse you with eternal damnation, the other just transfers you to billing.
- Got kicked out of book club for accusing another member of being a witch. In my defense, she did keep calling for “wine o’clock” suspiciously often.
- Went on a date with a witch. It was going great, until… She told me I had a great personality for a familiar.
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the potion-making competition? She used performance-enchanting drugs. Talk about a spell violation!
- Apparently, witches have to pay extra for broomstick insurance. Something about them being high-risk flyers.
- My therapist told me to embrace my inner witch. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a cauldron of self-love to stir.
- Dating a witch is like… (Insert your own punchline, this one’s interactive!)
- Never ask a witch her age. Trust me, you won’t like the answer. Or the consequences.
Witch Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Why did the witch invite the mushroom to her party? He was a fungi! 🍄🎉
- You know you’ve gone too far down the witchtok rabbit hole when… you start judging your friends’ aura instead of their outfits. ✨🤨
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing! 📚🪄
- Just saw a witch riding a Roomba down the street. Guess you could say she was… witch-wheeling! 🧹💨
- My attempt at making a witch’s hat totally backfired. Now I’m just left with a pointed sense of disappointment. 😔😂
- What do you call a witch’s least favorite fish? A hex-ra ray! 🐠🚫
- “I’m not a morning person,” said the witch. “I’m a mocha person.” ☕🧙♀️
- Me trying to explain to my non-witchy friends why I need another black candle: It’s for… ambiance! 🕯️🖤🤫
- Just found out my new roommate is a witch. I hope things don’t get too… broom-antic. 🧹💕
- Heard a rumor that witches love baseball. Something about loving to watch the umpire… make a cauldron call! ⚾️🧙♀️
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates! 🧹🏠
- Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry? They don’t want to fly off the handle! 😠🧹
- You know you’re dating a witch when… their idea of a romantic evening is summoning a familiar to watch you Netflix and chill. 🐈⬛🕯️🍿
- What’s a witch’s favorite type of music? Spell-binding! 🎶🧙♀️
- Witches are terrible liars because… their stories are always easy to see through. 😉🔮
- Tried to make a love potion but I think I used the wrong herbs. Now I just have… a feeling we’re mint to be. 🌿❤️ (Get it? Mint to be? 😂)
- What’s a witch’s favorite way to travel? Broom-ance class! ✈️🧹
That’s All, Folks! No More Bewitching Puns.
Well, cauldron that be all the witch jokes for now! We hope these puns cast a spell on you and left you howling with laughter. Don’t be a scaredy-cat, explore our website for more hilariously bewitching puns and jokes that are sure to leave you spellbound!