90+ Quacking Good Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Hooked!
Get ready to laugh your feathers off because we’ve got the best quacking jokes and puns this side of the pond! 😂 This list of clever wordplay is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good dose of humor. 🦆 From silly puns to quacking good jokes, get ready for a wild ride that’s sure to tickle your funny bone! 🦴 Let’s dive in! 😆
Top Quack Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the duck get hired as a lifeguard? Because of his excellent “quackground” in water safety!
- What do you call a duck with a speech impediment? A mumble-quack!
- I went to a stand-up comedy show last night featuring a duck. It was… quackers!
- What’s a duck’s favorite kind of bread? Rye-cycle, quack, quack!
- Why don’t ducks ever tell you a secret? Because they always quack it to someone else!
- A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he says… “Put it on my bill!”
- What do you call a duck who’s also a lawyer? A sue-per quack!
- Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! …Quack, just kidding, I have no idea!
- How are ducks like computers? They both need a web browser!
- My friend told me his new business venture was “going swimmingly.” Turns out… he opened a duck farm!
- What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A firequacker!
- Why are ducks such good detectives? They always quack the case wide open!
- I’m writing a song about ducks, but I’m having trouble with the chorus. All I’ve got so far is “Quack, quack, quack…” – any suggestions?
Clever Quack Puns – Top Picks
- What do you call a duck’s autobiography? “Quack My Life.”
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake-y Quackers.
- Heard about the duck who became a comedian? He really quacked the crowd up.
- Why don’t ducks tell secrets in rice paddies? Because the paddy rice quacks.
- Ducks are excellent investors. Why? They always know how to make their money quack!
- This new detective show about quacking ducks is intense. They really quack the case wide open.
- What do you call a duck who’s a medical school dropout? A quack… obviously!
- Forget Spotify, ducks have their own streaming platform. It’s called Quackify.
- Where do ducks go when they’re sick? To the ducktor, of course!
- My friend said his pet duck started talking. I was like, “Show me!” He said, “Ducking do it yourself!”
- I met a very spiritual duck the other day. He had all the answers… or should I say, “quackswers”?
- What do you call a duck that loves to race cars? Lewis Hamilquack!
- Why did the duck get a job at the bank? He was good at handling large quackers.
- My attempt at training my duck was going swimmingly… until he started quacking me orders!
Funny Quack One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Quack Jokes
- A duck walks into a bar and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, confused, says, “No, we don’t serve grapes here.” The duck returns the next day, “Got any grapes?” Bartender, annoyed, says, “No! And if you ask again, I’ll nail your beak to the bar!” The duck returns the next day and asks, “Got any nails?” Bartender, surprised, says, “No.” The duck then says, “Good! Got any grapes?”
- I saw a duck wearing a leather jacket, riding a Harley. I thought to myself, “That’s one tough quackers!”
- You know, working as a duck whisperer sounds easy, but it’s really hard to understand what they’re quacking about!
- What do you call a duck who’s a medical fraud? A quack… obviously.
- I went to a stand-up comedy show last night hosted by a duck. Turns out, he was really funny! He really quacked me up.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake, naturally!
- Why did the duck get a second job? To pay the bills!
- Heard about the duck who went to space? He was trying to get away from all the quackpottery on Earth.
- What do you call a duck who loves rock and roll? A heavy metal quacker!
- I met a duck at a party last night. He was a real quacking good time!
- Never ask a duck to solve a math problem. They’ll always come up with a fowl answer.
- My friend told me he wanted to live his life like a duck… quacking up to no one.
Quack QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Quack
- Q: Why did the duck get a job at the library? A: Because he was great at retrieving overdue books – he was a master of the Dewey Quackimal System!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a duck and a firework? A: A firequacker! (And probably a stern warning from the RSPCA).
- Q: Why did the duck cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide…he wanted to Quack a smile!
- Q: What do you call a duck who’s a medical fraud? A: A quack… obviously!
- Q: What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? A: Swan Lake, but they always quack up during the duckling scene.
- Q: What do you get when a duck throws a temper tantrum in the bath? A: A quack-down!
- Q: How do ducks invest their money? A: In a quack market fund!
- Q: Why don’t ducks tell secrets in rice paddies? A: Too much quacking willow!
- Q: What kind of car does a cool duck drive? A: A Quackillac!
- Q: What’s a duck’s favorite Bruce Willis movie? A: Die Hard with a Quackengeance!
- Q: What’s a duck’s favorite Queen song? A: Another One Bites the Quack!
- Q: What do you call a duck who loves to gamble? A: A high roller duck… or a real quack addict!
- Q: Why did the duck get second place in the bread baking contest? A: Because his sourdough was a little too… quackers!
- Q: Why are ducks so good at poker? A: They always have a quack up their feathers!
Dad Jokes About Quack: Pun-Filled Quips
- I met a duck at the park giving out relationship advice. Turns out he was a quack psychologist!
- A duck walked into a bar and asked, “Got any grapes?” The bartender said, “No, we don’t serve food here.” The next day, the duck came back and asked again, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, annoyed, replied, “Look, if you come back here asking for grapes again, I’m going to nail your beak to the bar!” The next day, the duck returned and cautiously asked, “Got any nails?” The bartender, taken aback, said, “No.” The duck grinned and said, “Good, then got any grapes?”
- Just saw a duck wearing a tuxedo. He must be going to a quacktail party.
- Went to a magic show and the magician made a duck disappear with a single word. He must have gone to quackademy to learn that trick.
- My friend said his pet duck is a professional musician. I told him, “Get outta town! What does he play?” He said, “He plays the quackophone, of course!”
- I tried to explain to my son why ducks are considered fowl…but he just looked at me like I was talking quackers.
- I tried to write a song about ducks, but I couldn’t come up with a good quack track.
- Did you hear about the duck who robbed the bank? Turns out he was known for his quick withdrawals!
- I took my rubber duck to the vet. He said, “Don’t worry, he’s just going through a fowl phase.”
- Be careful about listening to health advice from ducks…they usually give quack remedies.
- My son asked me what you call a duck that works for the government. I told him, “A poli-quack-ian!”
- What do you get when a duck throws a temper tantrum? A quack-down!
Quack Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What do you call a duck’s autobiography? A quackthology!
- What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Quackers and cheese!
- What kind of music do ducks listen to? Anything but quack rock, it’s too loud!
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a firework? A firequacker!
- Why was the duck wearing a raincoat? He wanted to look quackers!
- Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Duck. Duck who? Quack, quack, it’s me! Let me in!
- What do you call a duck that’s really good at magic? A quack magician!
- Where do ducks go to shop for their homes? The duckside!
- Why don’t ducks tell secrets on the pond? Because the bullrushes have ears!
- What’s a duck’s favorite sport? Duck-athlon!
- Why did the duck get a job at the library? He was good at retrieving books!
- Why did the duck bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard it was going to be ‘off the chain’ quackers!
Quack Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Heard about the duck who became a therapist? His office is always filled…patients just flock to him for his excellent quackvice.
- I tried to convince my wife to raise ducks with me. She said, “Get reel!” I said, “No, ducks. We need eggs for our golden years!”
- My doctor told me I needed more Vitamin D. Guess I’ll be spending more time down by the quack… er, I mean dock.
- Retirement is like being a duck on a pond… all your problems are water off a duck’s quack. Well, except for the geese.
- A duck waddles into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” Bartender says, “We don’t serve food here.” The next day, the duck returns. “Got any grapes?” Same response. The next day, the duck waddles in with dark glasses and a cane. Bartender says, “Listen, if you ask for grapes one more time…” Duck cuts him off, “Grapes? I don’t care about grapes. Just checking if the quackcess is good for the visually impaired!”
- Why did the duck get a job at the library? He was a quackademic at heart and loved the Dewey Decimal System.
- My friend said he wanted to live life like a duck…calm on the surface, paddling like crazy underneath. I said, “Sounds exhausting! Have you considered flamingoes? They just stand around looking fabulous.”
- Why are ducks such bad investors? They always put all their money in quackpot schemes.
- My grandkids gave me a shirt that says, “I’m not old, I’m a classic.” I told them, “More like a quackers classic, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake, of course!
- Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? Too many cheetahs… and because the parrots keep quacking about their bluffs.
- What’s a duck’s favorite Jane Austen novel? Pride and Prey, naturally.
- I’m writing a book about all the famous ducks in history. It’s going to be a real quackbuster.
Quack Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My friend said his job is stressful, but it’s easy money. Turns out he’s a motivational speaker for ducks. He calls it… Quacktivational Speaking. 🗣️💰 #sidehustle #onlyducks
- Why did the duck get disqualified from the poker game? He kept trying to duck under the table to check his… Quack Pocket Cards! 🦆🃏 #cheatersneverprosper #fowlplay
- Heard about the duck who opened a bakery? His sourdough is to die for, but his real specialty is the… Quack-aroons! 🦆🥐 #bakingpun #getinmybelly
- My rubber duck keeps singing Britney Spears in the bath. I guess you could call it… Quack Me Baby One More Time! 🛁🎤 #duckysings #itsbritneybitch
- Took my duck to a tech conference. He couldn’t decide between attending the coding seminar or the… Quack-chain technology panel. 🦆💻 #blockchain #duckislost
- What do you call a duck who’s a professional photographer? A Quack-arazzi! 📸🦆 #paparazziproblems #duckgottheshot
- Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide! He loves that… Quack-tivity! 🦆🛝 #playgroundfun #duckonamission
- My duckling won’t sleep. I think I need to sing him a… Quack-abye! 🦆😴 #bedtimeritual #nosleeptilduckling
- Met a duck at the beach today, he was wearing board shorts and sunglasses. Totally rocking that… Quack-ation vibe! 🦆🏖️ #summervibes #duckonthebeach
- What’s a duck’s favorite Shakespeare play? Oth-ello, Duck! 🦆🎭 #ducklovesclassics #othello
- Never ask a duck to solve a mystery. They tend to… Quack under pressure! 🕵️🦆 #duckdetective #caseclosed
- My duck is obsessed with 80’s music. He only listens to… Quack to the Future! 🦆🎧 #80smusiclover #duckgotgoodtaste
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Quacke! 🦆🩰 #ducklovestheart #swanlake
Quack, Quack, That’s a Wrap!
We’re not quackers, but we think these 90+ quack jokes and puns are all it takes to tickle your funny bone! If you’re hungry for more side-splitting puns and jokes, don’t be a sitting duck! Waddle on over to our website and explore a whole pond full of hilarious content.
