145+ Duck Puns & Jokes: You’re in for a Quacking Good Time!
🦆Quack, quack, quack! 🦆 Get ready to laugh your feathers off because this post is overflowing with the best duck puns and jokes about our fine feathered friends! This list of clever and funny duck jokes is perfect for kids and anyone who loves a good chuckle. So, get ready for some positiviely quackers humor – these jokes are all in good fun! 😂
Top ‘Duck Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why did the duck get a second job? Because he had too many bills!
- What do you call a duck that’s always getting into trouble? A quack-up!
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake!
- What do you call a duck with fangs? Count Duck-ula!
- Why are ducks such good detectives? They always quack the case!
- You know, I met this duck at a bar the other day… He walked up to me and said, “Got any grapes?”
- What do you call a duck who’s a pro at boxing? Duck Tyson!
- What’s a duck’s favorite kind of music? Anything quack-sical!
- Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- My friend tried to convince me that ducks can’t tell time. I told him, “Don’t be quackers!”
- What does a duck say when it buys lipstick? Put it on my bill!
- Heard about the duck who opened a bank? He was offering great nest egg investments!
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a firework? A firequacker!
- Why did the rubber duck get sent to his room? He was always acting fowl!
- What’s a duck’s favorite movie snack? Quackers and cheese!
- What kind of car does a duck drive? A Volks-wagen!
- If you see a duck robbing a bank, what do you do? Nothing, it’s fowl play!
- What do you get when a duck throws a temper tantrum? A quack-down!

Clever ‘Duck Puns’ – Best Picks
- What does a philosophical duck say? “To quack or not to quack, that is the question.”
- Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
- I met a duck who’s a successful lawyer. He’s a real sue-perstar.
- Did you hear about the duck who opened a bank? He’s offering everyone chequing ac-quack-ounts.
- What do you call a duck who’s a rock star? A quack-star!
- The duck walked into the bar and asked, “Got any grapes?” The bartender said, “No.” The duck came back the next day and asked, “Got any grapes?” “No,” said the bartender. This went on for a week. Finally, the bartender snapped, “If you ask for grapes one more time, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor!” The duck looked at him and asked, “Got any nails?” “No!” shouted the bartender. “Good,” said the duck, “Got any grapes?”
- Why did the detective duck get promoted? He always quack-ed the case.
- Why don’t ducks ever tell secrets? Because they quack up too easily!
- How do you get down from a horse? You don’t, you get down from a duck!
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m quack now.
- I met this duck who could speak two languages. He was bi-quack-al!
- What did the duck say after winning the lottery? “Well, well, well. What are the odds?”
- I used to have a job at the rubber duck factory… But I quit, it was too stressful. I just couldn’t take the pressure.
- This duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some chapstick. The pharmacist asks, “Will that be cash or duck?”
- What do you get when a duck throws a temper tantrum? A bill-ious fit.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake!
- Why don’t they let ducks compete in the Olympics? They always fowl out.
- My friend said ducks can’t be astronauts. I told him, “Don’t be quackers, of course they can!”
Funny ‘Duck One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Duck Jokes
- What does a duck use to surf the internet? A quackbook.
- I met a duck who was a successful lawyer. Turns out he was always winning his cases.
- If you’re being chased by a flock of angry ducks, I hope you have a good plan of escape.
- That duck’s stand-up routine was fowl… real fowl.
- I went to a party for ducks last night, and it was absolutely quackers!
- Duck therapy is really taking off… I hear they have patients lining up in a row.
- I tried to organize a duck fashion show, but I couldn’t get the bills down.
- You know what they say, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and surfs the internet like a duck… it’s probably using your quackbook.
- I wanted to open a restaurant that only served duck, but I couldn’t think of a good bill of fare.
- Never tell a duck a secret. They have loose bills.
- I went to a duck-themed escape room… It was completely fowl of puzzles!
- Heard about the duck who robbed a bank? He wanted all the quackers.
- A duck walked into a library and asked for a book on ventriloquism. The librarian whispered, “They’re over there.”
- Ducks are excellent drivers because they always know how to billane.
- My friend tried to make duck jerky, but it just kept quacking.
- I saw a duck wearing a tuxedo. He looked really billionaire.
- I thought I saw a celebrity duck at the pond, but it was just a decoy.
Duck QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Duck
- Q: Why did the duck get second place in the bread-making competition? A: Because his loaf was outstanding in its field!
- Q: What do you call a duck with a drug problem? A: A quack addict!
- Q: Why did the duck cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a duck and a firework? A: A firequacker!
- Q: Why are ducks such good detectives? A: They always quack the case!
- Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill!”
- Q: What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? A: Swan Lake!
- Q: What does a duck use to surf the internet? A: A duckduckgo!
- Q: Where do ducks go when they’re sick? A: To the ducktor!
- Q: What kind of music do ducks listen to? A: Anything but quack!
- Q: Why did the duck get in trouble at school? A: For using fowl language!
- Q: Why don’t ducks ever tell secrets on the water? A: Because they know it’s quackers to gossip!
- Q: What do you call a duck that robs banks? A: A safe quackers!
- Q: Why did the duck refuse to wear pants? A: He wanted to let his legs breathe!
- Q: How do you make a duck smoothie? A: Just wing it!
- Q: Why don’t ducks play hide and seek well? A: They always quack up!
- Q: What do you call a duck that wins a race? A: A lucky ducky!
- Q: Why was the duck embarrassed at the party? A: He forgot his quackers!
- Q: What’s a duck’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: Othello!
Dad Jokes About Duck: Pun-Filled Quips
- Heard about the duck who robbed a bank? He told the teller to put the money in the duffle bag.
- What do you call a duck who’s really good at his job? A wise quacker.
- Why was the duck such a bad driver? He kept hitting the pond-brake.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the lake. We had a duck-date.
- I’m writing a book about all the famous ducks in history. I’m calling it “The Quack-opedia”.
- What does a duck eat with his soup? Quackers!
- Why do ducks have flat feet? To stamp out fires.
- Why do ducks make terrible detectives? They always quack the case.
- What do you call a duck that’s always interrupting? A rude-olph!
- I saw a sign that said “Duck Crossing”. I thought, “It’s a good thing they’re not playing chicken.”
- My friend said his therapist encouraged him to embrace his mistakes. I told him to be careful not to duck responsibility.
- Why do ducks make terrible singers? They have such fowl voices.
- I tried to explain to my son that ducks can’t talk. He didn’t believe me. Guess I’ll have to break it to him gently.
- You know, ducks are excellent investors. They always seem to have their assets in order.
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a cow? Milk and quackers!
- What kind of music do ducks listen to? Anything but quack rock!
- A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Hey, got any grapes?” The duck replies, “What? Do I look like I give a duck?”
- Never try to explain a pun to a duck. They’ll just look at you with a blank stare and say, “Can you put that in layman’s terms?”
Duck Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What do you call a duck that’s really good at magic? A quack-cadabra duck!
- What does a duck say when it takes your picture? “Quack, quack…Cheese!”
- Why don’t ducks ever tell secrets on a pond? Because the ripples would quack everything out!
- What kind of music do ducks listen to? Anything but quack-sic!
- Why did the rubber duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a duck who loves to bowl? A strike-out duck!
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a firework? A firequacker!
- Why was the duck detective so good at his job? He always knew how to quack the case!
- How do ducks talk to each other on the phone? They use a quack-u-lator!
- What do you call a duck’s birthday party? A quack-ebration!
- Where do ducks go when they’re sick? To the duck-tor!
- Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- Why don’t ducks wear pants? Because they have webbed feet and would trip over the legs!
- What do you call a duck that’s always in trouble? A quack-up!
- How do you make a duck smoothie? You put it in the blender, silly!
- What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Quackers and cheese!
- Where do baby ducks sleep? In a ducky bed with a quack-et!
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a cow? Milk that comes in a quack-pack!
- What did the mama duck say to her ducklings before they crossed the road? “Stay close and don’t be quackers!”
Duck Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the duck get banned from the poker game? He kept trying to use his bill to buy chips.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake. But they always complain the production is never as good as the original quack.
- You know, I met a duck who was raised by chickens… Talk about an identity fowl up.
- What do you call a duck that’s into S&M? A quackhead.
- I saw a duck reading Nietzsche this morning. He must be one of those existen-quacks.
- Why are ducks such bad comedians? They tend to quack under pressure.
- My friend keeps telling me to invest in his rubber ducky business. I told him, “Sorry, I think your business plan is for the ponds.”
- I went to a party last night, and there was this incredibly attractive duck. We really hit it off, and now I’m wondering if I should wing it and ask them out.
- A duck waddles into a bar and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender says, “No, we don’t serve grapes here.” The duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, a bit annoyed, says, “No! And if you ask again, I’m going to nail your beak to the bar!” The duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any nails?” The bartender, confused, says, “No…” The duck then smiles and asks, “Got any grapes?”
- What do you call a duck who’s really good at pick-up lines? A smooth biller.
- What’s a duck’s favorite wine? Pinot Quack.
- Why did the duck cross the road twice? He was trying to prove he wasn’t a chicken. He also had a bill to pay on the other side.
- A duck’s favorite band is AC/DC… They really love ducking rock ‘n’ roll.
- Why do ducks have such beautiful feathers? Have you ever tried plucking a duck while it’s quacking?
- My therapist told me to embrace my inner child. So I bought a rubber ducky and a Slip N’ Slide.
- What’s a duck’s favorite pickup line? “Hey girl, are you sitting on a nest of those? ‘Cause you’ve got some fine tail feathers.”
- A duck walked into a library and asked for a book on paranoia. The librarian whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
- What do you get if you cross a duck and a cow? Milk and quackers!
- Why should you never tell a duck a secret? Because it’ll go running off to its friends and quack about it.
Duck Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Why did the duck get second place in the bread baking contest? Because his sourdough was a little fowl. 🦆🥈🍞
- Just saw a duck wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. Pretty sure he was part of a quack gang. 😎🦆
- You know, I used to be a duck hunter, but then I threw in the towel. It was too much duck-work. 🦆🚫😩
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake, of course! 🦢🦆🩰
- My friend asked me how ducks write their memoirs… I said, “With a quack-to-quill pen, obviously!” 🖋️🦆
- Heard a rumor about a duck that escaped from prison… I guess you could say he ducked out. 🚓🦆💨
- You know what they say, “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck… it probably needs a better lawyer.” 🦆👮♂️
- What does a duck use to surf the internet? DuckDuckGo… duh! 🦆💻
- What’s a duck’s favorite genre of music? Anything but heavy metal. They prefer their tunes a little softer… quack-oustic! 🎸🦆🎶
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes… Guess I’ll go find that duck I called a goose. Whoops, my bad! 🦆😬
- What do you get when a duck buys too much stuff? A bill it can’t handle! 💸🦆
- Found a lost duck wandering in the park today. Don’t worry, I managed to round him up. Turns out he was just looking for the quack store! 🦆🛒
- Just saw a duck driving a car… Now that’s what I call road rage! 🦆🚗😠
- Why are ducks always in a good mood? Because nothing bothers them for very long, it all just rolls right off their back… feathers! 😄🦆
- Why was the duck late for his birthday party? He overslept… his alarm was duck-fective! 🎂🦆⏰
- What’s a duck’s favorite type of pizza? Pepperoni and quackers! 🍕🦆
- I tried to explain to the duck that he couldn’t bring his rubber ducky into the pool… he didn’t understand. Guess it was all just water off a duck’s back! 🦆💧
- Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! 🐔🦆😂
Duck-ing out? Quack again soon!
We hope these duck puns didn’t ruffle your feathers! If you’re still quacking up for more, don’t duck out just yet. Waddle on over to our website for a whole flock of hilarious puns and jokes that are sure to keep you smiling.