103+ Chapstick Jokes & Puns: Lip Balm-azing Humor!
Get ready to laugh your lips off! 😂 This isn’t just a list of chapstick jokes, it’s the BEST list of chapstick jokes! We’ve got puns, humor so smooth it’ll glide right over you, and funny stuff for kids – even jokes so clever they’ll leave you chapped-smacked! So pucker up, buttercup, because this list of hilarious chapstick puns is about to make your day! 😜
Top Chapstick Jokes – Best Picks
My friend told me chapstick is addictive. I’m starting to think they might be right, I’m getting pretty attached to mine!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite chapstick flavor? Sue-per smooth peppermint!
You know you’re addicted to chapstick when… you have a favorite flavor for every day of the week.
What do you call a chapstick that’s always getting lost? A slip-stick!
Why is chapstick so smooth? It’s been to lip-reading class!
Did you hear about the chapstick factory that exploded? There was balm-age everywhere!
What does a chapstick use to surf the internet? Chap-ernet Explorer!
My chapstick told me a secret. I’m sworn to seep-recy!
I went to a party for chapsticks last night. It was… pretty lit.
Chapstick is like a hug for your lips. But without the awkward side pat.
My doctor told me I need to find healthier coping mechanisms. Guess I’ll have to kiss my chapstick collection goodbye.
Life is too short for boring chapstick. Unless we’re talking about plain beeswax, that’s a classic.
Clever Chapstick Puns – Best Picks
Feeling chapped about your love life? Don’t worry, be happy…and apply some chapstick!
My dream job? Chapstick taste-tester. Talk about a smooth career move.
What’s a pirate’s favorite chapstick flavor? Cherry-bbean Breeze, matey.
I used to have a chapstick addiction. But don’t worry, I’m balm again.
My friend tried to start a chapstick company for dogs. It…went to the licks.
This weather is so dry, I’m starting to feel like a lost chapstick tube.
What does a motivational chapstick tube say? “You’re the balm!”
You know you’re addicted to chapstick when you can tell the flavor just by the scent.
I tried to write a song about chapstick, but the lyrics were a little…dry.
Who’s the coolest person at a winter party? The one with the chapstick, obviously.
You know you’ve found the one when you share the same favorite chapstick.
Never underestimate the power of a good chapstick. It can smooth over any situation.
Funny Chapstick One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Chapstick Jokes
My friend tried to start a chapstick company for dogs…turns out it was a pretty ruff market.
I told my friend his chapstick tasted funny. He said, “I know, I just can’t put my finger on it.”
I’m addicted to chapstick, but my lips aren’t sealed.
What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of chapstick? Boo-lmer’s.
I used to be a chapstick model, but it was just a side gig.
My chapstick fell in the mud… guess I’ll have to take the balm route.
They should make a chapstick for liars. They call it fib-balm.
That new horror film, “Attack of the Giant Chapstick,” was pretty underwhelming.
My significant other said I should be more spontaneous. So I threw away their favorite chapstick.
You know you’re addicted to chapstick when you can apply it perfectly… while riding a rollercoaster…blindfolded.
My friend says I use way too much chapstick… my lips are sealed.
I think my wallet is jealous of my chapstick, because it’s always getting lippy with me.
Chapstick: Proof that a little balm can go a long way.
If you lose your chapstick, just try to stay balm and carry on.
Chapstick QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Chapstick
Q: What did the chapstick say to the dry, chapped lips? A: “We need to have a smooth talk.”
Q: Why did the chapstick get promoted? A: It was outstanding in its field!
Q: What do you call a chapstick that tries to fix everything? A: A balm-meddler!
Q: What’s a lawyer’s favorite chapstick flavor? A: Sue-thing fruity!
Q: Why don’t they allow chapstick in school? A: They’re afraid students will be passing notes on the sly-ps!
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite chapstick? A: Boo-lberry Balm!
Q: Why was the chapstick feeling under the weather? A: It was feeling a little waxy.
Q: Have you heard about the new vegan chapstick? A: It’s soy impressive!
Q: Where do you find a sad chapstick? A: In a balm shelter!
Q: What’s a sheep’s favorite chapstick? A: Wool-berry Mint!
Q: What did the detective say about the missing chapstick? A: “It’s the balm-shell of the century!”
Q: Why did the chapstick go to art school? A: It wanted to learn how to draw lips!
Q: Where does a chapstick go on vacation? A: To the Balm-hamas!
Q: Why did the chapstick cross the road? A: To get to the other tide! (Get it? Lip-tide!)
Dad Jokes About Chapstick: Pun-Filled Quips
I told my son to try putting chapstick on his dry lips. He said, “But Dad, I’m not chap-ped!” Guess I walked right into that one.
You know what they call chapstick in the arctic? A lip-sicle.
My friend started a chapstick company for dogs. It was off to a rough start, but now it’s really licking up the competition.
I used to be addicted to chapstick, I’d wear it all day long. But then I thought, this is getting out of hand.
What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of chapstick? Boo-yah Berry.
I just bought a vintage tube of chapstick on eBay. It was a pretty good deal, considering it was pre-owned.
Went to a museum exhibit about famous chapsticks. Turns out, it was just a wax figure collection.
I’m starting a band called “The Chapsticks.” Our first single? “You’ve Got Me Sealed.”
My friend said he was going to invent a chapstick specifically for carpenters. I told him that sounded like a pretty handy idea.
If you’re ever feeling stressed, just remember: Take it one chapstick at a time.
If you cross a bee with chapstick, you get…bee-autiful lips!
What did the lawyer say when he recommended a good chapstick? “Trust me, it’s legally binding.”
Chapstick Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the chapstick get sent to the principal’s office? > Because it kept interrupting class with lip service!
What’s a snake’s favorite kind of chapstick? > Hissss Balm!
My friend said his chapstick is magic. > When I asked how, he said, “Watch! Poof… It’s gone!”
What does a ghost put on their lips? > Boo-chapstick!
What did the happy little chapstick say? > “This is balm-azing!”
What did the detective say when he found the missing chapstick? > “The case is lip-sealed!”
Why don’t they let chapstick join the circus? > They’re afraid it will run away and join the lip-synch act!
My friend gave me a chapstick for my birthday. > I guess you could say it was a lip-smacking good time!
What’s a sheep’s favorite type of chapstick? > Anything baaaa-lm-y!
Why did the chapstick go to the doctor? > It was feeling a little waxy!
How do you make a chapstick happy? > Give it a big smooch!
My old chapstick is starting to tell me secrets. > I think it’s become a lip-reader!
What do you call a sad strawberry scented chapstick? > Blue-berried!
Why don’t they have chapstick Olympics? > Because whoever gets a head start always wins!
Chapstick Jokes and Puns for Elders
My doctor told me to use chapstick religiously. Now I pray every time my lips get dry.
My retirement plan is just a drawer full of unused hotel chapsticks. I call it my “Lip-vestment Portfolio.”
I saw a chapstick at the antique shop. The label said, “Cleopatra’s Kiss.” I didn’t buy it; I figured it was past its expiration date.
My grandkids think I hoard chapstick. I told them, “It’s not hoarding, it’s vintage moisture.”
I only date men with good chapstick. I have high standards when it comes to lip service.
Remember when chapstick cost a quarter? Now I need a small loan to afford a tube.
My friend tried to tell me chapstick is just flavored wax. I told him, “Don’t you dare speak ill of my lip balm!”
My therapist asked what my love language is. I said, “Acts of chapstick.”
You know you’re getting old when finding a lost tube of chapstick feels like winning the lottery.
I used to have a chapstick for every occasion. Now I just have one: “Forgetting where I left the other twenty.”
I joined a support group for people addicted to chapstick. It’s called “Lip Service Anonymous.”
I think my dog is part bloodhound. Every time I open a new tube of chapstick, he finds me.
I put sunscreen on my lips the other day. Now I can say I’ve used chap-block.
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of chapstick? Aye-r Conditioning.
Chapstick Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
My chapstick has been missing for a week now. Feeling really lippy about it. 👄
Just saw a guy applying chapstick with a butter knife. I guess you could say he was really buttering up his lips. 😏
Life is like chapstick. You lose it constantly, it gets used up way too fast, and you always end up relying on strangers for a spare. 😔😂
What’s a cannibal’s favorite chapstick flavor? Chap-eroni. 😬
Never ask a friend to hold your chapstick. It’s strictly a loan-some arrangement. 💔
Relationship status? Single and desperately seeking a chapstick I won’t lose in 24 hours. 😩
You know you’ve found the one when they offer you the last swipe of their chapstick. ❤️
What do you call an opera singing chapstick? A lip-sync-er! 🎤
Accidentally left my chapstick in my pocket. Turns out, my credit card REALLY appreciates that “smooth” application process. 💳😅
Heard Burt’s Bees is coming out with a new flavor. It’s called “Wax On, Wax Off”. Pretty sure it’s just for karate enthusiasts, though.🥋🐝
Me: “I need a new chapstick.” My bank account: “Our lips are sealed on that one.” 💸😭
Why is chapstick always lost? Because it has no lid-dle to call its own! 🏠
You can tell a lot about a person by their chapstick choice. Like, I’m judging you right now… but my lips look fantastic. 😎
Don’t worry, be chappy. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always chapstick. 😉
That’s a Wrap…stick! Hope Your Funny Bone Feels Balm-tastic!
Hope these chapstick jokes didn’t leave you too cracked up! But if you’re still thirsting for more punny fun, don’t worry, our website is absolutely balm-ing with hilarious jokes. Just head over and explore – we guarantee a lip-smacking good time!
