104+ Karate Jokes & Puns: You’ll Get a Kick Out of These!
🥋😂 Get ready to unleash your inner comedian with the best karate jokes and puns this side of the dojo! This list of funny karate puns and clever quips is perfect for kids and adults alike. So get ready to high-kick your funny bone because these jokes are off the charts hilarious! 🏆🤣
Top Karate Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the karate student get thrown out of class? > He kept trying to “kick-start” the class discussion.
- My friend quit his job teaching karate to kids… > He said it was too much of a little hand-to-mouth existence.
- Why did the scarecrow win a black belt in karate? > Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a karate master who’s also a chef? > A chop suey chef.
- Two cannibals were eating a karate instructor. One says to the other… > “Hey, does this taste funny to you? I think he might be kicking back.”
- Why was the karate instructor always tired? > He had too many kicks to make!
- Why did the karate champion break up with his girlfriend? > She kept trying to belt out his secrets!
- What’s the difference between a karate instructor and a pizza chef? > A karate instructor can chop you in half with their bare hands… the pizza chef needs a counter!
- My friend told me he could teach me how to do karate in my sleep… > I told him, “Nah, I’m kickin’ it old school and learning while I’m awake.”
- I tried to learn karate online, but it didn’t work… > Turns out, I needed a download to practice with.
- What do you call a fish that does karate? > A karate-fish… what? You think I’m gonna say “fin-tastic?” Come on, man!
- My friend said he invented a new karate move called “The Stapler.” > I told him, “That’s binding! You can’t just make up karate moves!”
- How can you tell if someone is a really bad karate fighter? > They open all their gifts with a block of wood.
- I walked into a karate studio and the instructor said, “Show me your stance.” > So I took out my phone and said, “Hold on, lemme check in on Facebook.”
Clever Karate Puns – Top Picks
- I tried to explain to my friend why Karate is so empowering, but he just couldn’t kick the feeling that it wasn’t for him.
- My friend quit Karate to become a baker. He said he just kneaded a change.
- I’m starting to think my Karate instructor doesn’t like me. He keeps giving me the cold shoulder.
- Karate instructors are excellent listeners. They always pay atten-shin.
- My friend said his Karate skills were improving. I asked him, “Are you shoe-re?”
- You know your Karate uniform is too small when it becomes a gi-string.
- That Karate master isn’t all he’s chopped up to be.
- Being a Karate master is so rewarding, but it takes a lot of kicks to get there.
- What’s a Karate master’s favorite drink? Anything he can get his kicks on!
- My friend tried to pay for his black belt with a check. The instructor said, “Sorry, cash or karate only!”
- I saw a Karate instructor fighting a bull? It was an intense battle of will… and mooscles!
- Never ask a Karate master why he’s always breaking boards. It’s a touchy subject.
- My friend injured himself right before his black belt test. I guess you could say it was really bad tie-ming.
Funny Karate One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Karate Jokes
- I tried to explain to my dad why karate was so expensive, but he just wouldn’t “kick” up the extra cash.
- My friend said karate wasn’t a real job. I said, “Don’t “kick” and tell until you try it.”
- I’m opening a karate dojo specializing in roundhouse kicks. I think it’ll really “kick” off.
- The karate instructor lost his voice. Now he literally has to let his “kicks” do the talking.
- What did the ocean say to the karate master? Nothing, it just waved.
- My karate instructor told me to break a board, but I had to go to two different stores before I could find one. It was a real “kick” in the pants.
- Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
- I once went to a zoo with only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
- My friend got his black belt in karate. Pretty impressive – it only took him 20 years and three washing machines.
- I wanted to name my pet kangaroo after my favorite karate move, but “Roundhouse Kick” wouldn’t fit on a dog tag.
- A magician walked down the street and turned into a karate studio. I guess you could say he “kicked” things to a whole new level.
- Never challenge a karate instructor who sells calendars – they “kick” every month.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- My friend said learning all the karate moves was a piece of cake. Then he tried to do a flying kick and landed on the snack table – that really took the cake.
Karate QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Karate
- Q: What do you call a karate expert who’s always losing things? A: A black belt… with a brown stripe of forgetfulness!
- Q: Why did the comedian join the karate dojo? A: He wanted to try stand-up fighting for a change!
- Q: What’s a karate master’s favorite type of car? A: A Chop-asaki!
- Q: Why did the karate student fail his history exam? A: He mixed up the “roundhouse kick” with the “Round Table” discussion!
- Q: How do you make a karate uniform more fashionable? A: Give it a good “kick” pleat!
- Q: What did the board say to the karate master? A: “Hi-ya! Didn’t see you there.”
- Q: Why did the student quit karate for online gaming? A: He wanted to level up, but without all the “kick-perience” points!
- Q: What’s a karate master’s favorite drink? A: Anything he can get his “kicks” on!
- Q: Why are karate masters such good dancers? A: They’ve got amazing “kick” steps!
- Q: Where do karate experts go to borrow money? A: The Loan-Dojo!
- Q: What do you get when you combine a karate master and a librarian? A: Someone who quietly tells you to “shush”… then breaks a board in half!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo that does karate? A: A Pouch Potato with a powerful kick!
- Q: How are karate and cooking similar? A: It’s all about getting the right balance of spice and “kick”!
- Q: Why did the karate champion start a band? A: Because he was always told he had a real “kick-ass” drum solo in him!
Dad Jokes About Karate: Pun-Filled Quips
- I wanted to learn karate, but I had too many reservations… turns out, it was beginner’s kendo.
- My son got kicked out of karate class. Seems he had a black belt… in shopping.
- Just saw a sign for a “Karate Pun Workshop.” I thought, “Now that’s something I could get a kick out of!”
- What did the little tree say to the karate master? “Leaf me alone, I’ve got this!”
- A karate instructor’s salary is always a touchy subject… especially when they have a chip on their shoulder.
- What do you get when you cross a karate expert with a pig? Pork chops! 😄
- I used to date a girl who did karate… but then she kicked me to the curb. I guess you could say it was a “bye-jitsu” situation.
- You know, back in the day, I was a karate master… of the kitchen. Nobody chops veggies faster!
- Heard they’re making a movie about a karate-chopping cat… I think it’s called “The Paw-shido Redemption.”
- My wife asked me to explain karate in a nutshell. I said, “It’s not for the faint of heart, but it does pack a punch!”
- My son said he wanted to learn karate to meet girls. I told him, “Son, just be yourself… unless you can be Chuck Norris, then be Chuck Norris.”
- What’s the difference between a karate expert and a novice cook? One breaks boards, the other boards breaks.
- My friend said he wanted to become a karate instructor, but I told him, “Don’t quit your day job…yet.”
- Why was the karate student always tired? They were constantly getting their kicks in.
Karate Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the karate student bring a ladder to the dojo? Because they heard the training was about high kicks!
- What’s a karate expert’s favorite drink? Kara-tea! ☕
- My brother tried to learn karate online… He got kicked off the internet! 💻
- Why didn’t the shrimp want to fight the crab in karate? Because he knew the crab was a black belt! 🦀
- What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow! And a karate bow! 🌈
- What sound does a karate-chopping board make? “Ouch, that board really splintered!” 🪵
- My friend said karate is easy, but then he saw the prices… Turns out it costs a pretty penny! 💰
- Why should you always be kind to your karate teacher? Because they have a black belt in giving you your space! 😅
- What do you call a funny karate instructor? A knee-slapper! 😂
- What do you get if you cross a karate expert with a skunk? You get a black belt you don’t want to mess with! 🦨
- Where do the most talented karate masters come from? All over the world… but they have to pass a board exam! 🌎
- Why do bees always win at karate? They’re always working on their buzz saws! 🐝
- Never challenge a goat to a karate match… They have a mean roundhouse kick! 🐐
- Remember, learning karate is a journey, not a sprint… Unless you’re being chased! Then, run! 🏃💨
Karate Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My doctor told me to try a low-impact exercise. Apparently, roundhouse kicking my troubles away isn’t what they had in mind. (Plays on the contrast between “low impact” exercise and the image of powerful kicks)
- Retirement is great for karate. Finally, I have time to perfect my crane kick… assuming my knees cooperate. (Subtle humor about aging and the contrast between a powerful move and physical limitations)
- I used to think learning pressure points was cool. Now I just use them on my grandkids to get them to eat their vegetables. “Eat your broccoli, or the Spleen of Fury gets it!” (Darkly humorous take on applying martial arts to everyday life)
- Remember when “breaking boards” was the most stressful part of your day? Now I do it at home just to feel something. (Dark humor about the monotony of aging contrasted with a karate skill)
- My grandkids asked what “karate” means. I told them it’s an ancient Japanese word for “Finally, some peace and quiet!” (Irony and relatable humor about the desire for peace in later years)
- My hip replacement came with an unexpected bonus – a titanium shin for devastating low kicks. Take that, shuffleboard rivals! (Absurdist humor blending senior life with martial arts imagery)
- Heard the local dojo is offering a senior discount. Pretty sure it’s just to cover their medical insurance. (Dry humor about the perceived risk of seniors doing karate)
- Wife said she wanted more “spice” in our retirement. Guess who just signed us up for a couples’ karate class? (Playful humor about spicing up a long-term relationship)
- The only belt I’m earning these days is on my bathrobe. It’s got more pockets for snacks during my Bruce Lee movie marathons. (Self-deprecating humor about age and sedentary hobbies)
- Used to be afraid of death. Now? Death should be afraid of me… if I can just get up off this floor mat. (Dark humor with a playful take on the fear of death)
- My secret to a long life? Inner peace and knowing how to disarm an attacker… mostly because I can’t remember where I put my reading glasses. (Combines mindfulness with relatable senior moments)
- Instructor asked me to demonstrate a “kiai.” I told him I left my hearing aids in the car. (Wordplay on “kiai” (karate yell) and a common senior ailment)
Karate Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Tried to explain to my kid that karate is about self-defense, not aggression. He just kicked me in the shins and whispered, “hypothetically speaking…” 😓 #parentingfail #karatekids
- I wanted to learn an ancient martial art that involved throwing small, sharp objects… turns out “competitive scrapbooking” wasn’t what I had in mind. ✂️ #nailedit #karate
- Signed up for a karate class that promised to teach me 100 ways to disarm an opponent. Turns out it was just a really persuasive self-help seminar. 🎤 #motivationalspeaker #karate?
- My love life is like karate: full of potential, but I always end up getting kicked in the face. 😭💔 #singleslife #karatedating
- They say practice makes perfect. I’ve been practicing my karate moves in my sleep… now I’m just exhausted and covered in bruises. 😴🤕 #karatedreams #realskills?
- My spirit animal is a karate-chopping panda. Adorable on the outside, ready to throw down at a moment’s notice. 🐼👊 #donttestme #karatepanda
- The only belts I’ve ever earned are from eating too much. Where’s my black belt in “food-kwon-do”? 🍔🥋 #foodielife #karatebelly
- You know you’ve been practicing karate too long when you start bowing to your toaster in the morning. 🙇♂️🍞 #karatelife #itsawayoflife
- My therapist told me to use my words instead of my fists. So I wrote “HI-YAH!” on a brick and threw it at him. He seemed impressed. 🧱 #passiveaggressive #karatetherapy
- Just saw a sign that said “Karate: Turning ‘ow’ into ‘you’re going down!'” I’m not sure about that, but it definitely turns ‘confidence’ into ‘bruises. ‘ 🤕💪 #wortheverystep #karatelife
That’s All, Chop! Kick These Jokes Around!
We hope these karate puns and jokes didn’t leave you feeling like you got the chop! But seriously, if you’re looking for more laughs as powerful as a roundhouse kick, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. We’ve got jokes that pack a punch, no matter your martial arts style (or lack thereof!).
