135+ Pen Puns & Jokes: You Won’t Believe Are Write Here!
Get ready to laugh your pens off because you’ve stumbled upon the internet’s best compilation of pen puns and jokes about pens! π This list of hilarious wordplay is perfect for kids and adults alike – anyone who appreciates a good dose of positive humor. π From clever quips to puns that’ll make you ink twice, get ready for some seriously funny jokes about our ink-redible writing utensils! ποΈ
Top ‘Pen Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why don’t pirates ever run out of ink? Because they always bring their “ink-well” with them!
- What did the pen say to the pencil on Halloween? “Looking sharp!”
- I went to buy a pen made out of a broken arrow… but they said it was out of “quiver.”
- Why is it so hard for a pen to start a writing career? They always get stuck in the beginning.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up! It was just a pen-napping!
- My friend said he was going to write a horror novel with edible food dye. He said it would be written in “red pen” ink.
- You know, I used to be a pen salesman. But I couldn’t make any money… just “cents.”
- Why are pens always invited to parties? Because they’re great conversationalists!
- What’s a pen’s favorite type of music? Anything they can write down!
- Why did the pen get sent to the principal’s office? It was caught writing on the desk!
- I told my friend I was starting a band called “The Highlighters.” He said, “Sounds like a ‘pen’ in the making!”
- Why don’t pens ever argue? They always keep things civil.
- Why did the pen cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
- What do you call a pen that can write underwater? A ball-pen-diver!
- My pen just broke up with its girlfriend, the pencil. It said she was “too lead” on.
- I’m starting a pen collecting club at school. Membership is only one cent!
- What do you call a pen that can predict the future? A ballpoint-seer!
- Why are pens so good at keeping secrets? They’re always capped off!
- Did you hear about the pen that won an award? It was an “ink-credible” achievement!

Clever ‘Pen Puns’ – Best Picks
- I used to be a handwriting analyst, but I found the work too taxing. Now I just sell pens. I guess you could say I’m… pen handling my business.
- What do you call a pen that can write in all colors? A panchromatic pen!
- Why did the pen get a job at the bank? It had great signing potential.
- I met a talking pen at a stationery convention. It seemed nice at first, but then it started writing me off.
- My friend tried to convince me that pens are sentient, but I told him thatβs just not the write way to think.
- I’m opening a seafood restaurant that only serves calamari. I’m calling it “Squid Pro Quo,” and I’m only accepting reservations written in pen.
- You know, I tried to write a song about a pen, but I couldn’t find the right inkspiration.
- Being a comedian is tough, but someone’s gotta do it. You could say it’s my penchant for laughter.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pen? A disappearing ink pen!
- Why did the pen break up with the pencil? Because they felt they couldn’t aford to be together.
- My friend said I should become a lumberjack because I’m good with my hands. I told him, “No way, I’m sticking with my pension for writing!”
- Why are pirates so bad at writing letters? They always run out of inkredible stories!
- I’m writing a horror novel about a haunted pen. It’s a real inkubus!
- What did the pen say to the paper when it was falling in love? “I’m drawn to you!”
- I saw a pen steal a car today! I couldn’t believe it – it was inkarcerated immediately!
- Did you hear about the pen that won an award? It was a truly remarkable achievement!
- I tried to pay my bills with a pen, but the cashier said it wasn’t legal tender.
- I’m starting a band called “The Ink Spots.” We’re going to be penomenal!
- Why did the pen blush? Because it saw the paper’s figure!
- Never argue with a pen – they always have the last word.
Funny ‘Pen One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Pen Jokes
- My friend tried to convince me that pens can write underwater. I told him that was ink-redible.
- I broke up with my pen pal today. Itβs fine, we were never meant to be pen-pals anyway.
- I saw a pen that could write in all colors of the rainbow. It was ink-lusive!
- Writing with a broken pen is pointless.
- I tried to explain to my pen that we were lost, but it just kept writing gibberish. I guess it was out of its ink-mind.
- My pen broke in half. I guess you could say it met its ink-idental end.
- I used to be a pen salesman, but I quit. There was no future in it, just ink-remental increases.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up! It was just a pen-alty for cheating.
- What do you call a pen that can write on anything? An ink-credible invention!
- I went to a zoo with just one dog in it. It was a shih tzu. And they only had one pen. A bic pen.
- Iβm writing a book about all the things I shouldβve said. Itβs called βInk-Dependent Thoughts.β
- My friend said he could write with his feet. I was ink-lined to believe him, until I saw his handwriting.
- Did you hear about the pen that went to jail? It was framed for writing bad checks.
- I told my friend to try the seafood restaurant. βThe food was ink-redible,” he said.
- Always be kind to your pens. You don’t want them to hold it against you.
- I tried to write a song about a pen, but I couldn’t find the right ink-spiration.
- My pen is always running out of ink. It needs to learn some self-pen-trol.
- I saw a sign that said, “Pen for Sale: Writes well, never used.” I thought, βWhatβs the point?β
Pen QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Pen
- Q: Why did the pen get sent to the principal’s office? A: For constantly starting sentence fragments!
- Q: What’s a pen’s favorite type of music? A: Anything they can get write into!
- Q: What do you call a pen that can’t tell a lie? A: An ink-redibly honest pen!
- Q: What kind of pen does a pirate use? A: A ballpoint pen… because they lost their ink-well in a fight!
- Q: Did you hear about the pen that was always in trouble? A: It was constantly getting written up!
- Q: Why don’t they allow pens at the bank? A: They keep running out of ink and holding everyone up!
- Q: What do you call a pen that’s always running late? A: Pro-pen-stinating!
- Q: Why are pens so courageous? A: They’re always running out of ink, but they keep facing the page!
- Q: What’s a pen’s favorite board game? A: Connect Four… they’re always up for a good dot-to-dot!
- Q: How do you make a pen blush? A: Write it a love letter!
- Q: What’s a pen’s least favorite snack? A: Chewing gum… it gets stuck in their cap!
- Q: Why did the pen refuse to work at the post office? A: It didn’t want to be stamped!
- Q: What did the pen say to the paper? A: “Hey, we should really write sometime!”
- Q: What’s a pen’s favorite movie? A: “They Write by Night!”
- Q: Why was the pen feeling insecure? A: It had a bad case of writer’s block!
- Q: Why don’t pens like arguments? A: They always end up in a point-less debate!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a pen with a cow? A: A moo-ving piece of writing!
- Q: What do you call a pen that can predict the future? A: A proph-ink!
- Q: What’s a pen’s favorite type of dance? A: The ballpoint! They have a real knack for it!
Dad Jokes About Pen: Pun-Filled Quips
- What do you call a pen that can write on anything? A ballpen point!
- Why did the pen get in trouble at school? It was always ink-orrectly!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
- I used to be addicted to the pen, but then I got ballpoint broke.
- What did the pen say to the pencil on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
- My friend said his career goal is to invent a pen that writes forever. I told him that seems a bit pointless.
- I told my son to try using a pen at school instead of a pencil. He said, βBut then I canβt eraser mistakes!β I said, βThatβs the point!β
- What kind of pen do you use in space? A astronaut-pen!
- Why don’t they let pigs into the pen factory? They tend to hog all the pens!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to a pen pal. I think he’ll be write at home there!
- Why is it so important to have a pen in prison? Because it might be your only write to freedom!
- What do you call a pen that’s always getting into trouble? A ballpoint delinquent!
- I wanted to buy a talking pen, but I couldn’t find one that had a good ink-cabulary.
- What happens when a pen goes to jail? It gets a life sentence!
- Where do pens go on vacation? Pensylvania!
- If you’re ever feeling stressed, just remember: Take a deep breath and write down your problems. There’s no problem too big for a pen and paper.
- Why did the pen break up with the pencil? Because they felt they couldnβt eraser the past.
Pen Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the pen get in trouble at school? Because it was always writing lines!
- What do you call a pen that can write underwater? An ink-redible pen!
- What’s a pen’s favorite type of music? Anything they can write a song about!
- My friend said his pen is haunted. I told him to get a grip… or maybe an exorcist!
- Why don’t pirates ever run out of ink? Because they always have a backup crew!
- What do you call a pen that’s always tired? Exhausted!
- Why did the pen get a job at the bank? It was good with its signature!
- What do you call a sheep who loves to write? A baa-llet pen!
- Why don’t pencils ever get lonely? They love to be in company!
- My pen broke in half. Now it’s only half as inky!
- What does a pen use to surf the internet? A web pen-cil!
- My pen keeps running away. It wants to be a race-pen!
- Why don’t pens like arguments? They always end up in point-less debates!
- How does a pen stay healthy? It gets plenty of ink-ercise!
- I saw a pen at a concert rocking out! I guess it was a heavy metal fan.
- What did the pen say to the pencil? Looking sharp today!
- What’s a pen’s favorite game? Connect the dots!
- I used to have a magic pen, but then it ran out of ink-redible ideas!
- Why are pens so good at keeping secrets? They’re always capped off!
Pen Jokes and Puns for Adults
- I met a novelist at a bar last night. Turns out, he was a real ink-slinger. He kept trying to “pen” me in a corner.
- Dating a writer is intense. They said our relationship was like a pen… destined to end in a period.
- My friend tried to pay his rent with a poem written in invisible ink. The landlord wasn’t amused. He said, “This pen is mightier than your rent check.”
- I tried to explain to my therapist that I have this weird fear of pens running out of ink… He said, “Sounds like a deep-seated issue.” I told him, “No, it’s a fine-point anxiety.”
- Why did the pen get fired from the bank? It kept taking notes.
- What’s a writer’s favorite type of animal? A ballpoint pen-guin.
- You know you’re a writer when you get more excited about finding a good pen than a good sale at the mall.
- My friend said his therapist recommended journaling to deal with his anger issues. I told him, “Make sure to use a pen with good grip. Don’t want any pen-manship slip-ups.”
- I went to a party for stationery enthusiasts last night. It was… pen-ultimate.
- My kid asked me what the opposite of a fountain pen is. I said, “A dry spell of creativity?”
- Autocorrect can be a real pain for writers. The other day, it changed “pen” to “penis” in my manuscript. Talk about an unfortunate Freudian slip of the keyboard.
- What do you call a pen that just won’t write? In-competent.
- A pen and a highlighter walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The pen gets excited, but the highlighter says, “Wait a minute… you’re just trying to get us lit.”
- I tried to start a business selling pens online. It was going great until my website crashed. Turns out, I forgot to renew my domain pen.
- Why did the pen get arrested? It was suspected of forgery.
- Someone stole my favorite pen the other day. I was devastated. I mean, we’d shared so many stories together. It was truly my pen-ultimate loss.
- Why don’t they allow pens at the nudist colony? Because nobody wants to see a ballpoint.
- I walked into a stationery store and asked for a pen that could write forever. The salesperson said, “Sure, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.”
- I got a job writing slogans for a pen company. It’s been pretty ink-lusive so far.
- I’m starting to think my new pen has commitment issues. Every time I try to use it, it ghosts me.
Pen Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Just saw a pen breakdancing. It was trying to bust a cap. ποΈπ₯
- Did you hear about the pen that ran for office? It promised a more transparent government. ποΈποΈ
- My pen keeps disappearing. I think I have a lead thief. ποΈπ
- What do you call a pen that can write in all colors? A pansexual. ποΈπ (This one’s a bit edgy, use with caution!)
- I told my friend my new pen writes underwater. He said, “Ink-redible!” ποΈπ
- What’s a pen’s favorite music genre? Ink’n’roll! ποΈπ€
- My pen broke in half. It’s the worst thing since sliced bread. ποΈπ
- I used to be addicted to buying new pens. Then I got a point-ervention. ποΈπ
- Life without a working pen is pointless. ποΈπ
- I’m writing a horror story about a haunted pen. It’s a real nail-biter. ποΈπ»
- My dog ate my favorite pen. Now he’s lead author on all my projects. πΆποΈ
- I bought a pen that writes in 3D. It’s amazing, it writes in length, width, and depth! ποΈπ€―
- What did the pen say to the paper? I’ve got a lot on my mind. ποΈπ
- I’m opening a pen factory right next to a pig farm. I’m going to call it “Hogwarts.” ποΈπ·
- A pen walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Hey, get out! We don’t serve minors.” ποΈπ (Because it’s a ballpoint pen! π)
- What do you call a pen that always makes mistakes? A blunder-writer! ποΈπ
- Met a pen at a party last night. Turns out, it was a real ink-tellectual. ποΈπ€
- My friend said he wanted to be a writer. I told him that’s great! All he needs is a pen and a paper. He said, “No, I want to be a writer for hire.” ποΈπ°
- Just bought an invisible pen. I can’t see myself using it. ποΈπ
- My pen is my weapon of choice. It’s mightier than the sword, especially when you throw it really hard. ποΈβοΈ Bonus Pun: I went to a zoo with just one dog in it. It was a shih tzu pen. ποΈπΆ
That’s All, Folks! Pen We Meet Again!
We’ve reached the end of our ink-redible journey through the world of pen puns and jokes! We hope you’ve enjoyed these punny scribblings as much as we’ve enjoyed sharing them. Don’t let the laughter end here, though! Explore our website for even more hilarious puns and jokes that will have you giggling all day long.