95+ Author Jokes & Puns: Write On Target!
Get ready to laugh your π socks off because we’ve got the best author jokes this side of the library! π This list of puns and funny quips about authors is so clever, it’s practically a literary masterpiece. π Whether you’re a bookworm π or just looking for some humor, we’ve got the perfect joke for kids and adults alike. So grab your favorite reading glasses π€, settle in, and get ready for a healthy dose of puns and wordplay!
Top Author Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the author break up with the thesaurus? They couldn’t find the words to express their feelings!
- Did you hear about the author who couldn’t meet deadlines? He was always running out of thyme!
- How do authors earn a living? By the book!
- You know you’re a true author when… you consider pizza and coffee to be essential writing tools.
- An author walks into a bar… and orders a plot with a twist.
- What’s an author’s favorite drink? Short story!
- What did the font say to the author? Hey! Face me!
- Why did the author always carry a ladder? To reach their high expectations!
- Why are authors always cold? They’re surrounded by drafts!
- What do you get if you combine an author and a vampire? A story that really sucks you in!
- I met an author who only writes historical fiction about tea parties. Turns out, she’s a real tea-spiller!
- Being an author is like having a superpower. You can create entire worlds using nothing but words!
- How can you tell if someone’s an author at a party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
- Why did the author bring a pencil to the shower? In case they got a good plot idea!

Clever Author Puns – Best Picks
- “I met an author who only wrote fiction about sea creatures. He was a real shellfish author.”
- “That author is always getting into arguments with his book editors. He’s known for being cross-genre-rational.”
- “Why don’t authors use pencils anymore? Because they want their work to be Markable!”
- “Heard about the author who only wrote on papyrus? He’s really into his ancient drafts.”
- “I’m friends with all the local authors. We have a tight knit group; you could even say we’re chapter and verse.”
- “The ghostwriter was upset. He felt his work was severely undercited.”
- “That author’s prose is so dry, it could use a tall glass of character development.”
- “The author struggled to write a good ending. Turns out, he was just bad at wrapping up his plots.”
- “The author was stumped on how to start his next novel. Said he was suffering from writerβs blockstart.”
- “The fantasy author couldnβt meet his deadline. He said he lost track of time in the realms of his imagination.”
- “Why donβt they let grammar fanatics into book stores? Theyβre always trying to take authors to task!”
- “The romance novelist was struggling with her latest hero. Seems he was suffering from a severe lack of charisma-cter development.”
- “The author finally finished his autobiography. He said it was the most personal story he never wrote himself.”
- “Why are authors so good at poker? They’re masters of bluffing with their words.”
- “The mystery author was arrested today. Seems his plot was to write himself into a corner.”
Funny Author One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Author Jokes
- I met an author who wrote a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- An author told me his career was going up in flames. Turns out, he writes erotica.
- Why don’t they let aspiring authors on planes? They have a tendency to hijack the story.
- An author walks into a library looking for his book. Librarian: “Fiction’s on the second floor.” Author: “I know, but this time I thought I’d try non-fiction!”
- Being an author is the only profession where you can literally write your own paycheck…and then have to wait six months for it to clear.
- I asked my author friend how his horror novel was coming along. He said, “Itβs killing me!”
- You can tell an author is struggling when they start using the Oxford comma just to add extra words to their manuscript.
- I saw an author using white-out on their manuscript. Thatβs what I call character assassination.
- Heard a rumor that the grammar police are looking for a ghostwriter. Sounds like a plot twist waiting to happen.
- An author walks into a bar…and orders a double entendre.
- Never ask an author what they’re working on. It’s either nothing or a novel, a screenplay, a children’s book, and a collection of haikus all at once.
- The life of an author is full of surprises. Mostly rejection letters.
- I tried to explain to an author the concept of writerβs block…but the words just wouldnβt come out.
Author QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Author
- Q: Why did the author always carry a ladder? A: To reach his high expectations!
- Q: What’s an author’s favorite type of bird? A: A plot-er!
- Q: What do you call an author who can’t finish a sentence? A: A sentence frag-mentor!
- Q: Did you hear about the author who was afraid of commas? A: He had a serious case of writer’s block!
- Q: Why did the author bring a pencil to the beach? A: To draw his characters in the sand!
- Q: How do you know an author is working on a fantasy novel? A: They keep talking about their “world-building” exercises!
- Q: Why did the author get lost in their own book? A: They took a wrong turn at the plot twist!
- Q: What did the author say when they couldn’t think of a good ending? A: “Looks like I’ve written myself into a corner!”
- Q: What do you call an author who only writes in rhyme? A: A master of cerebration…and poetrification!
- Q: The author wanted to write a suspense novel, but what was the problem? A: He couldn’t find a plot that was thick enough!
- Q: Why are authors such good gift-givers? A: They always have so many stories to tell!
- Q: Why did the detective author get writer’s block? A: He was stumped by a lack of clues!
- Q: How does an author surf the internet? A: They use book-marks!
- Q: What did the author do when their book was rejected? A: They sent it to a self-publicist for some self-esteem!
- Q: Why are authors always cold? A: Because they’re surrounded by drafts!
Dad Jokes About Author: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw an author trip and drop 20 chapters on the floor. He said it was the worst case of writer’s block he’d ever had!
- My friend said his career as an author was really taking off. I was so happy for him until I realized he was talking about plagiarism.
- Did you hear about the author who couldn’t think of a good title? His career is really untitled.
- What do you call an author who just won’t quit? Persistent? No, pensistent!
- An author told me he was working on a book about anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down!
- I met a pirate author today. I asked him what his favorite font was. He said, “Times New Roman, me hearty!”
- I asked the librarian if they had any books by Stephen King. He said, “Horror-ble you ask! We just ran out!”
- Why are authors so good at poker? They’re masters of the character bluff!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the library. Guess he’s an author now, because he’s spinning a web!
- I told my friend studying literature she should become an author. “Write what you know,” I said. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Debt.”
- What do you get when you combine an author and a pastry chef? A write-good pie maker!
- My wife is a romance author. Her books are really popular, but I’m starting to get jealous of all the fictional husbands she comes up with!
Author Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the author write about the sea? Because she had too much on her plate!
- What’s an author’s favorite dessert? A chapter-bookie pie!
- Why did the author get lost? He took the wrong turn of phrase!
- What do you call a sleepy author? A yawnsmith!
- What kind of bird is always writing stories? An author-n!
- Where do authors swim? In the ink-well!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Author. Author who? Author you glad to see me?!
- What do you call a group of authors who work together? A write club!
- Why don’t authors like living in apartments? They prefer to have their own space to write!
- What did the author say to the computer? “You auto finish my book!”
- Why did the author write under a tree? He needed some inspira-tion !
- How do you make an author smile on their birthday? Give them a book-quet of flowers!
- What do you call a dinosaur author? A Tyranno-story-us Rex!
- Whatβs a writerβs favorite thing to do at the beach? Author-graph sessions!
Author Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elderly author refuse to use a ghostwriter? He said, “At my age, I’m running out of time to ghostwrite my own life!”
- My elderly neighbor told me he used to write under a pseudonym. I asked him what name he wrote under, and he whispered, “Anonymous.”
- An author walks into a library looking for a book about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” The author scoffs, “See, that’s what I mean!”
- Why don’t they teach punctuation in author school anymore? Kids today just don’t give a dash.
- I met an author who specializes in writing about extremely small fonts. Apparently, heβs got a real knack for the minutiae.
- You know you’re an elderly author when… your biggest fear isn’t writer’s block, but your publisher’s blocked arteries.
- What did the retired author say when asked for his life story? “It’s still a work in progress…and frankly, I’m running out of drafts.”
- I went to a seminar on writing suspense novels led by an elderly author. Let me tell you, the tension was palpable…mostly because we were all worried he’d fall asleep.
- Why did the elderly author fall asleep during his own book reading? He wasn’t bored, he just knew how the story ended.
- Did you hear about the elderly author who was struggling to write his autobiography? He kept getting his past tense and his pastime confused.
- I just read a romance novel written by an elderly author. It was surprisingly steamy…apparently, you never forget your first cup of prune juice.
- An agent walks into a bar and sees an elderly author hunched over a drink. Agent: “What are you working on?” Author: “A mystery novel.” Agent: “Really? What’s the plot?” Author: “I can’t tell you, it’s a secret…”
- The elderly author was so forgetful, he kept leaving his characters in the fridge. He said they were “always plotting something.”
- I asked my 80-year-old grandfather, a retired author, if he’d ever considered writing another book. He chuckled and said, “My dear, at my age, I’m more worried about finishing sentences than starting novels.”
- What’s the difference between an elderly author and a time traveler? One writes about the past, the other just complains about it.
Author Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why did the author break up with the semicolon? They said it was getting too complicated; they needed a little space.
- Just saw the author of “Air” at the airport. Apparently, he’s promoting his new book, “Water.” Heard the sequel, “Earth,” is going to be epic.
- Did you hear about the author who won an award for their novel about clocks? He was really ticking all the boxes.
- My friend claims he can tell if an author is a good person just by their writing. I told him to write me up a character reference then.
- Just found out I’m distantly related to Shakespeare… Turns out, my aunt wrote a book about him once.
- My spellcheck is convinced I want to be an author. Every time I type “anything,” it suggests “authorship.”
- An author walks into a library looking for a book about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- What do you call an author who can’t meet their deadline? Late. Always late.
- Just saw an author walking their dog… It was a write-haired terrier!
- Being an author is like having a superpower. You can create entire worlds with just your imagination. The downside? Accounting still expects you to file taxes, not magic spells.
- Why don’t they teach punctuation in driving school? Too many authors using commas splices.
- Heard a rumor that dictionaries are written by ghosts… Guess that’s why they say every word has a spirit author.
- What’s an author’s favorite font? Any font that finally gets them paid.
- What’s the difference between an author and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four. An author’s book sales… well, that’s a different story.
That’s the Write Way to End This Chapter!
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