106+ Labor & Delivery Puns: Jokes to Deliver You Some Laughs!

Get ready to laugh (maybe not during labor, though 😂) because we’re about to delve into the world of labor and delivery humor! This isn’t your average list of jokes, oh no. We’ve compiled the BEST, most clever puns and side-splitting quips about labor and delivery.🤰 Whether you’re looking for funny puns for kids or just a good chuckle, prepare yourself for some serious 😂 humor! Let’s be real, a little laughter is the best medicine… well, next to epidurals, that is. 😉 Get ready for the ultimate list of labor and delivery jokes!

Top Labor And Delivery Jokes – Best Picks

1. Why did the baby need a lawyer during labor? It was a breech of contract!
2. How do you get a baby to star in a movie? You give it a leading role…out of the womb!
3. Why was the labor so quick? Because they delivered a bouncing baby… gigabyte!
4. Heard about the obstetrician who loved his job a little too much? He tried to claim the baby as a dependant on his taxes!
5. What’s a baby’s favorite dance move? The conga-RATULATIONS, you’re here!
6. What did the doctor say to the nervous dad-to-be pacing the waiting room? “Don’t worry, it’s just like riding a bike… if bikes had screaming passengers about to be born.”
7. Never ask an expectant father, “Enjoying your last few weeks of peace and quiet?” They’re not. Trust me.
8. My friend named her twins “Will” and “Leave.” Now, whenever she calls them, it sounds like a threat.
9. They say labor is hard work… But have you ever tried assembling IKEA furniture with a newborn screaming for a diaper change?
10. What do you call a baby that’s born a natural comedian? A chuckle-bun!
11. My wife wanted an epidural during labor… I told her, “Sweetheart, we can’t afford to build a wall right now!”
12. Why did the baby laugh when it came out? It got a look at the doctor’s Crocs!
13. Why was the delivery room so hot? Because it was filled with fans waiting for the newest arrival!
14. What’s a baby’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Nothing,” at least until they learn to talk.
15. They say childbirth is a miracle… And after witnessing it, I can confirm, it’s also a magic show – you start with one person and end up with three!

Clever Labor And Delivery Puns – Best Picks

1. I’m so nervous about labor and delivery, I’m having contractions already! (Plays on the double meaning of “contractions” as both anxious feelings and labor pains).
2. Giving birth is a lot like baking a cake… except you’re pushing out a watermelon, not a Bundt. (Exaggerates the difficulty of childbirth in a humorous way).
3. Heard the hospital is adding a “Lamaze Lounge” to the maternity ward. They’re really pushing for relaxation. (Plays on the word “pushing” in the context of both childbirth and promoting the lounge.)
4. My doctor said I have to choose between an epidural or a doula. Tough call, it’s a pain in the neck either way. (A pun using “pain in the neck” to connect both the physical pain of labor and the potential annoyance of decision-making.)
5. Labor and delivery nurses deserve a raise. They deal with a lot of crap. (A slightly cheeky pun alluding to the messier aspects of childbirth.)
6. My wife wanted a natural birth in a pool… I told her, “Honey, you’re not a dolphin!” (A humorous take on water births and contrasting human birth with animal births).
7. Just finished my birth plan. It’s more detailed than the blueprint for the hospital. (Exaggerates the meticulousness of some birth plans for comedic effect.)
8. They say labor is like running a marathon. But have you ever seen someone cross a marathon finish line and then get handed a screaming baby? (Compares childbirth to a marathon while highlighting a key difference.)
9. My husband during labor was a real peach… if peaches were utterly useless under pressure. (Uses a common simile to poke fun at unhelpful partners during labor).
10. I asked the doctor if the labor pains will be bad. He said, “Don’t worry, you’ll forget all about it once you see the baby.” I said, “That’s my biggest fear!” (A humorous twist on a common reassurance given to expectant parents.)
11. My baby decided to arrive fashionably late. Guess they wanted to make a grand entrance. (Personifies the baby’s late arrival in a humorous way.)
12. I’m not sure what’s more dilated, my cervix or my eyes from lack of sleep. (Relates the physical changes of labor to a common experience of new parents).

Funny Labor And Delivery One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Labor And Delivery Jokes

1. I told my wife to keep her chin up during labor…turns out that’s not how you push a baby out.
2. My wife said she wanted a natural birth with no drugs…I told her I wanted a million dollars and a pet dragon. Guess neither of us got what we wanted.
3. Labor and delivery nurses are like superheroes, except their capes are just hospital gowns covered in bodily fluids.
4. My wife’s contractions were so close together during labor, I thought I was watching a ticking time bomb instead of witnessing a miracle of life.
5. They say labor is like running a marathon. I’m pretty sure marathon runners don’t get yelled at to “push harder!”
6. My wife wanted a water birth, but I drew the line when she asked for a rubber ducky and a tiny scuba suit.
7. For my wife’s epidural, the anesthesiologist used a needle the size of a small car. I guess “getting your back cracked” is literal in labor.
8. The hospital mistakenly put us in the waiting room instead of the delivery room. I told them, “Trust me, when it’s time, you’ll KNOW.”
9. I asked my wife if she wanted an epidural. She said, “Honey, I’ve been married to you for 10 years. I’ve had enough pain relief.”
10. They say childbirth is the most painful thing a person can experience. Clearly, they’ve never had a lego stuck in their vacuum cleaner.
11. The nurse told me to catch the baby. I said, “I’m a father, not an outfielder! I’m not qualified!”
12. I’m not saying labor was quick, but we named our daughter “Amazon Prime.”
13. My wife told me to pack for all the essentials. Apparently, a week’s worth of snacks and a pillow fort counts as “essential.”
14. The hospital gave us a free “What to expect when you’re expecting” book. Turns out, they should have just written “Chaos” on the cover.
15. The first thing I said to my newborn was, “You owe me approximately nine months of sleep.”

Labor And Delivery QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Labor And Delivery

1. Q: Why did the doctor bring a ladder to the labor and delivery room? A: They heard the baby was a breech (reach) baby!
2. Q: What did the doula say to the exhausted mom after a 20-hour labor? A: “You did amazing! Want to… deliver a pizza directly to your room to celebrate?”
3. Q: What do you call an anesthesiologist who loves their job in Labor and Delivery? A: An epidural enthusiast!
4. Q: Why did the obstetrician open a bakery? A: They heard there was a bun in the oven somewhere!
5. Q: What did the birthing ball say to the expecting mom? A: “Don’t worry, I’m here to support you… literally!”
6. Q: Why did the baby laugh when it was born? A: Because it saw the doctor’s crocs and thought, “Is THAT what I have to look forward to?!”
7. Q: Knock, knock! A: Who’s there? Q: Baby. A: Baby who? Q: Baby coming out, better open this door!
8. Q: How did the baby know they were ready to be born? A: They just got that “time to evict myself” feeling!
9. Q: Where do newborn babies register for gifts? A: They usually prefer Buy Buy Baby… they haven’t quite figured out their credit score yet.
10. Q: What does a “labor of love” REALLY mean in the delivery room? A: Ask me again in 72 hours when I’ve had some sleep!

Dad Jokes About Labor And Delivery: Pun-Filled Quips

1. They asked me if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord. I said, “No way, I’m still on paternity leave!”
2. The labor was so intense, even the doctor was sweating. I told him, “Don’t worry, doc, it’s all downhill from here!”
3. My wife wanted an epidural, but I told her, “Honey, just think of it as free acupuncture… with a much bigger needle!”
4. I was so nervous during the delivery, I kept pacing back and forth. The nurse said, “Sir, you’re making me dizzy!” I told her, “Just wait until you see my dance moves when the baby comes!”
5. The nurse asked me if I wanted to announce the baby’s weight. I said, “Sure, tell everyone it’s ‘two thumbs up!'”
6. They say labor is hard work. But holding a newborn? Now that’s a real arm workout!
7. My wife told me to pack her bag for the hospital. So I threw in a swimsuit and a novel. You know, for relaxing after the vacation.
8. I asked the doctor if the baby inherited my looks. He said, “Let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s got your sense of humor.” Burn.
9. The nurse said, “Congratulations, it’s a girl!” I told her, “That’s funny, we were hoping for a baby.”
10. My wife wanted a natural birth. I told her, “Honey, I drive a minivan. We’re all about modern conveniences.”
11. The hospital had a ‘Welcome Baby’ sign. I wanted to add, ‘Prices subject to change.’ You know, like a menu.
12. They say the pain of childbirth is quickly forgotten. But I haven’t forgotten who made me sleep on the couch for a month.
13. My wife started having contractions during a movie. I said, “Finally, some action!” Turns out, I should’ve kept that one to myself.

Labor And Delivery Jokes and Puns for Kids

1. Why did the baby laugh during labor? Because it heard the doctor say, “This is going to be a piece of cake!”
2. What’s a baby’s favorite dance move? The Delivery Bop!
3. What do you call a sleepy baby during delivery? A delivery snooze!
4. Where do babies line up before they’re born? In the labor-atory!
5. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Emma. Emma who? Emma bit tired of waiting to be born!
6. Why did the baby have a doctor’s appointment? For a labor of love check-up!
7. What did the doctor say when the baby was born? “Congratulations! It’s a de-liver-y!”
8. What does a baby say when they want to be born in the jungle? “Let’s deli-fur this baby!”
9. Why did the baby need help being born? Because it was a team ef-fort!
10. You must be excited to meet your new sibling, but remember… It took a lot of pushing and shoving to get them here!
11. What did the baby say when it was time to be born? “It’s time to make my grand entrance!”
12. What’s a baby’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good labor rhythm!
13. What did the mama say to the baby right before it was born? “Let’s not labor the point, it’s time to meet the world!”
14. Why did the baby get a gold medal after being born? Because it was a true labor of love!
15. How do you know a baby is ready to be born? They say, “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Labor And Delivery Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. Why did the elder refuse pain relief during labor? She wanted to tell the story in excruciating detail later.
2. My friend said her granddaughter was a “product of labor.” I told her that tracks – making babies is hard work!
3. I hear labor and delivery nurses are excellent multi-taskers. They can coach breathing, track contractions, and judge your epidural choices all at the same time.
4. They say childbirth is the most painful experience… Try telling that to my knees after chasing these grandkids around!
5. The doctor told me my delivery was “precipitous.” I guess he was surprised I could still move that fast at my age.
6. What do you call a labor and delivery nurse with a green thumb? A deli-v-ery expert.
7. I asked my wife if she remembered the day our son was born. She said, “Which one?” I said, “The one with all the screaming!” She said, “They all had screaming!”
8. Grandkids are truly a blessing. They let you experience the joys of parenting… without ruining your figure.
9. You know you’re getting old when “labor” makes you think of yard work more than childbirth.
10. My wife wanted a natural birth, no drugs. I said, “Honey, at our age, everything’s natural.”
11. They say labor is like running a marathon. But have you ever seen a marathon runner ask for their mother afterwards?
12. You know you’re an experienced parent when you can tell the difference between a real contraction and someone faking it for attention.
13. Turns out, becoming a grandparent is nature’s way of making up for you forgetting what sleep is.
14. Never ask a woman in labor, “Are you having contractions?” It’s like asking someone on fire if they’re feeling a little warm.
15. Having a baby later in life is great. You can skip the sleepless nights and go straight to complaining about your aching back!

Labor And Delivery Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. My wife said labor was the hardest thing she’s ever done. I said, “Yeah, try being the one who has to parallel park with an epidural onboard!”
2. They say labor is like running a marathon. The difference is, at the end of a marathon, you don’t have to push a watermelon out of you. #truthbomb
3. Me before labor: I’m gonna be so zen. Me during labor: insert picture of that screaming goat
4. Heard they’re adding a “cry laughing” reaction for labor pains on Facebook. About time! 😂😭
5. My doctor asked if I had any questions about labor and delivery. I said, “Yeah, when does the ‘delivery’ part happen? Asking for a friend.”
6. Just found out what my baby’s first words will be: “Feed me, Seymour!” Guess I should stock up on formula AND pizza. #momlife
7. Packing my hospital bag: Phone charger… check. Snacks… check. Escape rope in case this baby decides to be fashionably late? …check.
8. My doctor said I could have an epidural any time I want during labor. I said, “Make it a double. I’m celebrating!” 😜
9. The hospital gave me a freebie onesie that says “I ❤️ My Labor Coach.” Honey, looks like you owe me BIG TIME. 😏
10. Labor is like a really bad blind date. It lasts forever, you don’t want to be there, AND you know it’s going to get messy.
11. Contraction timer app reviews: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Would give 6 stars if it could also order pizza and make my partner rub my feet.”
12. Me trying to explain to my unborn baby that rent is due outside the womb. #adultingstartsnow
13. They should have drive-thru labor and delivery. Like, “One baby to go, please! And make it snappy!”
14. Pretty sure my water breaking felt exactly like that scene in Alien. Except less slimy alien and more… meconium.

Push-ing Out the Laughter! 😂🤰

Well, we’re officially done dilating with laughter! We hope these labor and delivery jokes delivered a healthy dose of humor. But don’t stop pushing just yet – explore our website for even more hilarious puns and jokes that are guaranteed to induce laughter!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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