135+ Nurse Puns & Jokes: RX for Laughter!

Get ready to laugh your scrubs off with the best medicine: humor! πŸ˜‚ This ain’t no shot in the dark, folks – we’ve got a list of clever nurse puns and jokes about nurses that are guaranteed to cure your boredom. Whether you’re an RN looking for a chuckle, a nursing student needing a study break, or just someone who appreciates a good pun (we’ve got you covered!), these jokes are the perfect prescription for laughter. πŸ’‰πŸ’Š Get ready for some healthy humor – because laughter is the best medicine! πŸ˜„

Top ‘Nurse Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the nurse go to art school? So she could learn to draw blood! πŸ’‰πŸŽ¨
  2. What’s the difference between a nurse and a vampire? A nurse draws blood with consent. πŸ§›β€β™€οΈπŸ©Έ
  3. Never upset a pediatric nurse. They have little patients but BIG needles. πŸ§ΈπŸ’‰
  4. How do you know you’ve been a nurse too long? You find taking someone’s pulse remotely romantic. ❀️🩺
  5. I met a nurse who was addicted to energy drinks. She had a real IV-ssue. βš‘πŸ’§
  6. My friend said she wanted to be a nurse, but she fainted at the sight of blood. Apparently, she misread the job description. It said “Registered Nurse,” not “Registered Vampire.” πŸ©ΈπŸ‘»
  7. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat…per minute! πŸŽΆπŸ’“
  8. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To check the patient’s temperature at a higher level! πŸͺœπŸŒ‘️
  9. You know you’re dating a nurse when: Date night is at 7 pm…unless someone calls in sick. πŸ₯πŸ’–
  10. A doctor and a nurse walk past a vending machine. The doctor hears a faint cry, “Help me! I’m stuck in here!” The nurse sighs, “Oh no, not the IV bag again.” πŸ’§πŸ˜‚
  11. Nursing school is tough, but so are nurses. We’re like tea bags – we don’t spill our contents until we’re in hot water. β˜•οΈπŸ”₯
  12. My wife’s a nurse. When I asked her what her favorite part of her job is, she said, “Shift change.” Turns out she just likes handing you off to someone else. πŸƒβ€β™€οΈπŸ’¨
  13. Why are nurses always losing their pens? Because they keep getting “borrowed” for life-saving signatures. πŸ–ŠοΈπŸ©Ί
  14. What do you call a nurse who can’t find their stethoscope? Anything they want, because nobody argues with someone who can’t find their stethoscope! 🩺🀫
  15. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case they needed to draw blood. πŸ–ŠοΈπŸ©Έ (Get it? Red pen…draw blood? πŸ˜…)
  16. How is nursing school like a 500-piece puzzle? Everyone has an idea of where things go, but nobody’s entirely sure until the end. 🧩🀯
  17. What do you call two nurses holding hands? A shift change. πŸ‘«πŸ’¨
  18. Never underestimate a nurse who survived nursing school. They’ve seen it all, heard it all, and still show up to care. πŸ’ͺπŸ₯
Ultimate list and collection of Best Nurse Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘Nurse Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. Never argue with a nurse. They have the IV-dence on their side.
  2. I met a nurse who was constantly losing her pens. Turns out she had a bad case of dis-pen-ser-itis.
  3. Being a nurse is no easy feat. It takes guts… and a strong stomach.
  4. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case they needed to draw blood.
  5. You know you’re dating a nurse when their idea of a romantic gesture is checking your pupils.
  6. Nurses deserve a standing ovation. And a raise. And probably a nap.
  7. I’m writing a horror novel from a nurse’s perspective. It’s called “The Chart That Stared Back.”
  8. My friend says being a nurse is stressful, but personally, I think it’s vein.
  9. What’s the difference between a nurse and a vampire? One draws blood for a living, the other lives for it.
  10. Nurses are like superheroes. Except their capes are usually covered in bodily fluids.
  11. My nurse friend is great at darts. She’s got a steady hand and excellent vein awareness.
  12. What’s the most important muscle for a nurse? Their heart.
  13. Never upset a nurse during a 12-hour shift. They’re already running on IV fumes and pure willpower.
  14. Why don’t nurses ever get lost? Because they have a great sense of di-rection.
  15. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat a nurse. Namely, how much they value their health.
  16. Nurses: Making sure your vitals aren’t the only thing getting checked.
  17. Behind every great doctor is an even greater nurse… silently judging their every move.
  18. Why did the nurse break up with the thermometer? Because they said they had no chemistry!
  19. Never underestimate a nurse with a sense of humor. They’ve seen it all and lived to laugh about it.
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Funny ‘Nurse One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Nurse Jokes

  1. You know you’re dating a nurse when “Netflix and chill” involves an anatomy documentary.
  2. Never upset a nurse who can raise your bed with the push of a button.
  3. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to night shift. πŸ˜‰
  4. Being a nurse is like riding a rollercoaster: exhilarating, exhausting, and you’re never quite sure who’s going to throw up next.
  5. I’m not saying I’m a clumsy nurse, but I do take “fall risk” very seriously… for myself.
  6. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got five patients, and my pager just went off too.
  7. I’m a nurse, so yes, I can tell when you’re lying about your pain level… and your shoe size.
  8. My therapist told me to find a hobby to relieve stress. So now I collect the unused bedpan liners. They’re surprisingly versatile!
  9. You know you’re a nurse when “happy hour” means you got all your charting done early.
  10. My patients think I’m an angel. My coworkers think I’m a pain magnet. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.
  11. Being a nurse is a lot like juggling… except the balls are screaming and covered in bodily fluids.
  12. Sleeping is my superpower, which is unfortunate because I’m a nurse.
  13. I’m not sure what’s tighter: my scrubs or my patients’ grip on their conspiracy theories.
  14. Being a nurse: 90% paperwork, 10% wondering what that smell is.
  15. I’m not saying nurses are superheroes, but we do wear capes… they’re just called isolation gowns.
  16. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried to decipher a doctor’s handwriting at 3 am.
  17. Being a nurse is like being a mom, except your kids can vote and legally hold you responsible for their well-being.
  18. Nurses: We can’t fix stupid, but we can sedate it.
  19. I love being a nurse, but sometimes I wish I could just tell my patients, “Look, it’s either the meds or WebMD, but I’m not taking medical advice from both of you.”

Nurse QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Nurse

  1. Q: What do you call a nurse who’s always losing her patients? A: A baaad navigator!
  2. Q: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? A: In case they needed to draw blood!
  3. Q: What’s the most important tool for a pediatric nurse? A: A toy-let!
  4. Q: How does a nurse make a smoothie? A: With a shot in the arm!
  5. Q: Why was the nurse always getting lost? A: She had too many patients to vein-track!
  6. Q: What did the nurse say to the patient who refused his medicine? A: “Suit yourself, but don’t come crying to me when you’re feeling sy-ringe!”
  7. Q: What’s the difference between a nurse and a comedian? A: A comedian heals with laughter, a nurse laughs at your healing!
  8. Q: Why did the nurse go to art school? A: To learn how to draw blood like a pro-trait!
  9. Q: What do you call a nurse who loves her job a latte? A: An IV-drip coffee addict!
  10. Q: Why did the orthopedic nurse bring a ladder to work? A: To check the patients’ bone density, one story at a time!
  11. Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite dance move? A: The IV Push-and-Pull!
  12. Q: How do you know you’re dating a nurse? A: They’re always checking your pulse… for excitement!
  13. Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat… per minute!
  14. Q: Why was the nurse’s phone always dead? A: They were always on call… waiting for the pager to re-charge!
  15. Q: What do you call a group of nurses who start a band? A: The Code Blues!
  16. Q: Why did the nurse get a job at the bank? A: They heard the patients there needed some “financial IV” support!
  17. Q: What do you get when you cross a nurse and a gardener? A: Someone who’s always up-rooting for their patients!
  18. Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite board game? A: Operation… they’re practically professionals!
  19. Q: Why are nurses such good detectives? A: They’re always looking for clues… to help you feel better!
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Dad Jokes About Nurse: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To check the patient’s temper-ature!
  2. My friend said he wanted to marry a nurse, but I told him to be careful. They say love hurts, but with a nurse, it could really sting!
  3. Never upset a nurse who’s holding a needle. They have a very short fuse.
  4. A nurse walks into a bank to cash a check. The teller says, “Hey, I know you! You’re always saving lives!” The nurse replies, “Well, I’m off-duty now!”
  5. What do you call a nurse who’s also a great singer? A natural care-oller!
  6. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case they needed to draw blood!
  7. My wife’s a nurse. She’s always running around the hospital. I told her, “Honey, you need to take a stetho-break!”
  8. How do you know you’ve met a nurse at a party? Just wait, they’ll tell you their patient-ly waiting for their drink.
  9. What do you call a group of nurses who start a band? An IV League group!
  10. I asked my nurse friend what her favorite type of music was. She said, “Anything but organ-ic.”
  11. My daughter wants to be a nurse when she grows up. I told her, “That’s great! Just promise me you won’t needle me about my bad habits.”
  12. A nurse walks into a library looking for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
  13. Why was the nurse always getting lost on her way to work? Because she had no patients!
  14. What’s the difference between a nurse and a baseball pitcher? One throws curveballs, the other throws up curveballs.
  15. My wife’s a surgical nurse. She’s always telling me to be careful in the kitchen. She says, “One slip of the knife and you could be seeing me at work!” I told her, “Don’t worry, honey, I’m not cut out for that.”
  16. How is a nurse like a detective? They both get to the bottom of things!

Nurse Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the nurse go to art school? So she could learn to draw blood!
  2. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
  3. Why was the teddy bear in the hospital? Because he was feeling stuffed!
  4. What do you call a nurse who’s always losing her pen? Forget-me-not!
  5. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To check the patient’s temperature at a higher level!
  6. What do you call a nurse who’s really good at their job? An all-star!
  7. What did the bandaid say to the nurse? “Stick with me, kid, you’ll go far!”
  8. Why did the doctor bring a clock to work? To see time flies!
  9. Why did the nurse bring string to work? To tie up some loose ends!
  10. What do you call a bear who wants to be a nurse? A care-bear!
  11. What do you call a silly mistake at the doctor’s office? A boo-boo!
  12. Why did the grape go to the doctor? He felt down in the dumps!
  13. Where do sick ships go? The doc!
  14. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling well!
  15. What do you call a doctor who fixes cracked sidewalks? A sidewalk surgeon!
  16. What’s a doctor’s favorite type of toy? Building blocks!
  17. Why did the doctor go to the beach? To check the ocean’s temperature!
  18. What do you call a doctor who loves to dance? A hip-po-cra-tist!
  19. Why are nurses so good at hide and seek? They’re excellent at finding veins!

Nurse Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case they needed to draw blood… or cross a patient off the list.
  2. Being a nurse is a high-pressure job. But at least the pay is… well, you know.
  3. How can you tell an extroverted nurse from an introverted nurse? The extroverted nurse will talk to you about their patients. The introverted nurse will talk to their patients about you.
  4. I told my nurse I had a fear of stitches. She said, “Don’t worry, I can give you something to numb the pain.” Then she winked and said, “It’s called tequila.”
  5. Dating a nurse is great. Until… you have a disagreement and they start explaining your emotional state using medical terminology.
  6. Why are nurses always losing their watches? Because time is relative, especially on a double shift.
  7. I walked into a bar and saw a nurse charting on an iPad. I said, “Wow, technology has come a long way!” She replied, “Yeah, well, it beats using papyrus and a chisel.”
  8. What’s the difference between a nurse and a bull? One charges for a procedure, the other charges after being provoked.
  9. Never ask a nurse what’s the weirdest thing they’ve seen at work. They’ll just say, “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”
  10. A doctor walks into a bar and sees a group of nurses. He says, “Hey ladies, mind if I circulate?” One nurse replies, “No, go ahead, that’s your job.”
  11. My nurse friend is so dedicated to her job, she even dreams in medical jargon. The other night, she woke up screaming, “Stat! My patient needs a dopamine drip…and a stiff drink!”
  12. You can always tell who the strong ones are in nursing school. They’re the ones who haven’t cried in the bathroom… today.
  13. Behind every great doctor… is a nurse discreetly correcting their typos and reminding them to wash their hands.
  14. Why did the nurse go to art school? So they could learn to draw blood like a pro… and maybe paint a still life when they finally get a break.
  15. You know you’re a nurse when… you find yourself diagnosing people’s illnesses based on their Facebook posts.
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Nurse Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. What do you call a nurse who’s also a grammar enthusiast? A Noun-rse!
  2. Why did the nurse go to art school? So she could learn to draw blood!
  3. Never upset a nurse who can pronounce “sphygmomanometer” correctly. They have nothing left to lose.
  4. Heard about the nurse who was always getting lost? Turns out she had no sense of humerus.
  5. You know you’re dating a nurse when… a “romantic getaway” involves attending a medical conference. Hospital Humor:
  6. Patient: “Are you sure I’ll be able to play the piano after this surgery?”\ Nurse: “Absolutely!”\ Patient: “That’s great, I couldn’t play it before!”
  7. How can you tell an extroverted nurse from an introverted nurse? The extrovert looks at your shoes, not their own.
  8. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I’m about to go show this IV insertion to my nursing instructor.
  9. Sleep? What’s sleep? – Signed, every nursing student ever.
  10. My superpower? Functioning on less caffeine than a motherboard. What’s yours? Relatable Realities:
  11. Me trying to explain to my family what I actually do at work. shows them a picture of a dumpster fire
  12. The struggle is real: Finding a vein on a patient vs. finding matching socks in the morning.
  13. That moment when you realize nursing school was just the tutorial level. Now we’re playing on hardcore mode.
  14. Just survived another 12-hour shift. Please hold your applause, I’m too busy chugging this energy drink.
  15. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but something feels off.” – Every patient, ever. Valentine’s Day Specials:
  16. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m a nurse, What’s wrong with you? πŸ˜‰
  17. Are you a shot of dopamine? Because you make my heart race. – Happy Valentine’s Day from this lovestruck nurse!
  18. Forget Tinder, I’m checking out pulses at the hospital. You never know where you’ll find true love.
  19. You must be a good cholesterol level, because you make me feel amazing!

Scrubs Off! You’ve Been Punned.

We hope these nurse puns and jokes didn’t give you too much of a heart-stopping laugh! But if you’re still feeling a little punny, don’t worry, we’ve got a whole hospital’s worth of jokes waiting for you on our website. So go ahead, check ’em out – we promise they’ll be just what the doctor ordered!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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