135+ Tequila Puns & Jokes: Shots of Hilariousness
🍹 Looking for the best tequila puns and jokes to spice up your next fiesta? 🎉 Get ready to shake up some laughter with this list of clever and funny tequila puns! 😂 Don’t worry, these jokes about tequila are all in good fun (and definitely not for kids!). 😉 So grab your lime and salt, because things are about to get hilarious! 🍋
Top ‘Tequila Jokes’ – Best Picks
Why did the tequila bottle get upset at the lime? Because it kept giving it wedges!
What’s a tequila worm’s favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird!
You know you’ve had too much tequila when… you start speaking fluent Spanish, even though you only took two classes in high school.
How can you tell if someone’s a tequila snob? They judge a margarita by its salt rim.
Why don’t they serve tequila at work parties anymore? Too many people end up doing “shots” they regret later.
I tried to explain to my friend the dangers of drinking too much tequila… but it just went in one ear and out the other.
I only drink tequila on two occasions: When it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
My love life is like a bottle of tequila: Exciting at first, then comes the inevitable hangover.
What happens when you drink tequila and eat gummy worms? You get a little “wormy”!
What did the lime say to the tequila shot? Let’s get salty!
I used to be addicted to tequila. But then I turned 21… and it became legal. Problem solved!
My friend said she was trying to be “tequila-minded” about her diet. So naturally, she ordered a margarita pizza.
Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? Too many cheetahs… and too much tequila!
Life is too short for cheap tequila and bad decisions. Then again, those are the most interesting stories…
I’m writing a song about tequila. It’s got a good beat… and you can really dance to it… after a few shots.
Always remember: A friend will help you move. A REAL friend will help you move a body after too much tequila. (Just kidding… mostly.)
Clever ‘Tequila Puns’ – Best Picks
Feeling adventurous? Let’s go on a tequila Mockingbird. (To Kill a Mockingbird)
I’m on a new diet. It’s called the tequila cleanse. One shot, and you’re guaranteed to forget about eating.
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Guess it’s tequila time!
I’m not saying I drink a lot of tequila, but I’d be shot without it.
What’s tequila’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good lime-in.
My love for tequila is like a good margarita – it gets stronger with time.
I’m not a hoarder, I’m just tequila collecting.
Did you hear about the tequila bottle that broke up with the lime? It said, “You’re too sour for me.”
You can’t sip with us. Unless you’re drinking tequila, of course. (Mean Girls)
My doctor said I need to watch my drinking. Guess I’ll just have to tequila closer look at my habits.
I’m not sure what’s more impressive, my dance moves or my ability to still say tequila after a few shots.
You know what they say, “It’s five o’clock somewhere!” It’s always five o’clock when you have tequila.
I’m not saying I have a problem, but I did name my cactus Tequila Mockingbird.
I only drink tequila on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
I’m writing a book about my love for tequila. It’s a real page-turner.
Tequila is my spirit animal. Fiery, smooth, and always down for a good time.
I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I do a tequila shot.
My therapist told me to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Now I just think about tequila.
Funny ‘Tequila One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Tequila Jokes
I’m not saying I drank too much tequila last night, but I woke up in a mariachi band wearing someone else’s sombrero.
I only drink tequila on two occasions: when it’s my birthday, and when it’s not.
Tequila is my spirit animal… literally.
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I’m going to go hug a bottle of tequila.
I put the “tequila” in “tequila mockingbird.”
My love for you is like a shot of tequila: strong, intoxicating, and likely to leave me with a headache in the morning.
I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I do a tequila shot.
I’m fluent in Spanish… especially after a bottle of tequila.
Tequila: It’s like liquid courage with a Latin twist.
Does running to the liquor store for more tequila count as cardio?
I should win an award for my tequila dance moves… too bad no one remembers them.
I tried to explain to my liver that it was Cinco de Mayo… It didn’t care, but the tequila seemed to understand.
I’m not sure what’s more irresponsible: my drinking habits or my tequila goggles.
I’m not sure what’s in this tequila, but I keep seeing the floor trying to sneak up on me.
Always be nice to the people who buy you tequila. You might need bail money from them later.
Tequila and I have a love-hate relationship: I love it, and it hates my liver.
Don’t worry, I’m not drunk! I’m just tequila-infused.
Tequila is cheaper than therapy and works faster.
I’m writing a book about my experiences with tequila… it’s a blank journal.
Tequila QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tequila
Q: Why did the tequila bottle blush? A: Because it saw the lime getting squeezed!
Q: What do you call a tequila-loving ghost? A: A spirited spirit!
Q: Why is tequila like a bad relationship? A: It starts with a shot and ends with you crying on the floor.
Q: What’s a tequila worm’s favorite band? A: The Agave Five!
Q: What did the bartender say when the tequila walked in? A: “Hey, long time no agave!”
Q: How do you make a tequila sunrise even better? A: Add a splash of “I don’t have to work tomorrow!”
Q: Why did the tequila cross the road? A: To prove it wasn’t chicken! (But honestly, it doesn’t remember why now).
Q: What do you call a group of tequila shots running late to a party? A: A slow agave-nation!
Q: How can you tell if someone’s a tequila snob? A: Don’t worry, they’ll let you know after their first sip.
Q: What do you get if you mix tequila with floor cleaner? A: Absolutely not! Don’t do that, it’s dangerous AND a waste of good tequila!
Q: Did you hear about the tequila that was feeling under the weather? A: Yeah, it had a little agave-ache.
Q: What do you say to a sad shot of tequila? A: “Hey, don’t cry, you’re distilled to be great!”
Q: Why is tequila better than a psychic? A: Tequila can actually make you see the future (albeit a little blurry).
Q: What’s a tequila lover’s favorite song? A: Anything by the Black Eyed Peas… because they “Gotta Feeling!”
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the agave fields? A: Too many cheatin’ hearts!
Q: What happens when you drink too much tequila? A: You’re guaranteed to have a “lime” of a time… or completely forget it entirely.
Q: Why did the lime break up with the tequila? A: It said the tequila was too “salty” after a night out.
Q: What’s the tequila motto? A: “Live life to the fullest… one shot at a time!”
Dad Jokes About Tequila: Pun-Filled Quips
I told my friend I was thinking about quitting tequila. He said, “Tequila Mockingbird.”
Why don’t they let tequila cross the border? It’s always up to no bueno!
What did the lime say to the tequila shot? “Let’s get salty!”
You know, I used to make tequila in my basement. But then the guac authorities shut me down.
I only drink tequila on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
I wanted to open a tequila store, but I couldn’t handle the agave-nture.
I tried to explain to my wife that tequila is gluten-free, but she wasn’t buying it.
Someone stole my bottle of tequila! I’m calling the police! They better be ready to catch a thief on the agave.
Why did the tequila blush? Because it saw the lime getting squeezed!
I’m not saying I drink too much tequila, but I see agave plants everywhere.
What’s a tequila lover’s favorite dance move? The worm!
My therapist suggested I replace tequila with a healthier coping mechanism. So I got a bigger glass.
Why don’t they serve tequila at work? Because it’s not a job for just Juan!
My friend asked if I wanted another shot of tequila. I said, “Tequila later!”
I’m starting a band called “Tequila Mockingbird” – our first hit will be “Tequila Sunrise, Tequila Sunset.”
I put my tequila bottle in the corner last night. Now it’s gone. Guess it was really thirsty!
Tequila Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the feather get in trouble at school? Because it kept tickling everyone during quiet time!
What does a tickle monster say? “Get ready to giggle!”
What do you call a ticklish dinosaur? A Tyrannosaurus Rex-laughs!
Why don’t they tell secrets in the jungle? Too many tickley vines!
Where do fleas learn to tickle? At flea-market!
Why don’t they play hide and seek in the jungle? Because the zebras give you away with their stripes, and the monkeys tickle you when they find you!
What’s ticklish and hangs in the sky? The sun… it has rays!
What’s the tickliest part of a volcano? The lava flow… it’s molten tickles!
How do you make a squid laugh? You give it ten-tickles!
What musical instrument is super ticklish? The trumpet… it has a tickle valve!
What kind of shoes does a tickle monster wear? Sneakers!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed!
What do you get if you cross a tickle monster and a kangaroo? I don’t know, but don’t try to find out in its pouch!
Why is being a comedian hard work? Because you’re always trying to tickle someone’s funny bone!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Tequila Jokes and Puns for Adults
I tried to explain to my therapist how much I love tequila, but it just wouldn’t come out right. Guess you could say it was… bottled up.
Tequila: The only shot that can make you see double and pick up on the subtle hints you missed all night.
They say tequila makes you forget your problems. If that’s true, I must have downed a whole distillery last weekend.
What do you call a sophisticated AI chatbot that drinks tequila? A “Si-ri-ously” good time.
My relationship with tequila is complicated. We’re passionate, intense, and it always ends with me waking up with a throbbing headache.
Why did the tequila enthusiast break up with the gin lover? They said, “It’s not you, it’s gin… and I need someone with a little more spirit.”
Someone just stole my bottle of Don Julio! I guess you could say I’m… done Julio-king for tonight.
Why don’t they serve tequila at work functions? Because it’s known to lead to some… unprofessional development.
Tequila is like a bad relationship. You know it’s going to be messy, but you just can’t resist.
I only drink tequila for the health benefits. You know, to help me forget my problems…and my name.
My therapist told me to replace tequila with something more productive. So now I build tiny houses out of limes and salt.
What’s the difference between tequila and a good therapist? One listens to your problems and the other makes you forget you have them.
I told my date I only drink tequila on two occasions: special occasions and every other occasion.
They say tequila makes you see things differently. Last night, I swear my cat started speaking fluent Spanish.
Tequila: It’s not just a drink, it’s a liquid excuse to text your ex.
I’m starting a new diet: it’s just tequila and good decisions. So far, I haven’t made any good decisions, but the tequila is great.
What do you call a group of friends who always drink tequila together? A “Pour Decisions” committee.
Life is short, like a shot of tequila. So lick it up, savor the moment, and try not to do anything you’ll regret… too much.
Tequila Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
Just got dumped. Guess it’s time for some “Tequila” therapy. (Use sad emoji)
My love for tequila is like a fine shot glass – small but powerful. (Use fire emoji)
Trying to cut back on tequila. Just kidding, agave you seen the news lately? (Use laughing emoji)
I’m not saying I’m addicted to tequila, but I do carry a lime and salt shaker in my purse. (Use shrugging emoji)
Why is tequila better than a boyfriend? It always makes you happy and never asks where you’ve been all night. (Use sassy girl emoji)
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy tequila, and that’s kind of the same thing. (Use clinking glasses emoji)
Tequila: For when life gives you lemons, add salt and take a shot. (Use astonished emoji)
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it with tequila. (Use grinning emoji)
Tequila is like duct tape. It fixes everything… temporarily. (Use thinking emoji)
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I’m embracing this tequila bottle. (Use hugging emoji)
I only drink tequila on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not. (Use celebratory emoji)
“Tequila Mockingbird” – a novel about a girl who drinks tequila until she can’t hear her bad decisions anymore. (Use bookworm emoji)
I’m not sure what’s in these street tacos, but I think I just found my new favorite tequila chaser. (Use taco emoji)
You know you had a good night when you can’t remember how you got home, but you still have your lime wedge. (Use dazed emoji)
Tequila: Because adulting is hard and sometimes you need a cactus hug. (Use cactus emoji)
I tried to explain to my cat that the tequila is mine, not his margarita mix. He looked at me like I was crazy. Cats these days. (Use cat with judging eyes emoji)
“Hold my tequila” – famous last words before doing something epic… or completely idiotic. (Use face palm emoji)
My blood type is Tequil-A Positive. It’s a rare type, but someone’s gotta have it. (Use blood drop emoji)
“Did someone say ‘tequila’?” – Me, pretending I wasn’t eavesdropping. (Use sneaky emoji)
If you’re ever feeling down, remember: tequila rhymes with “let’s party!” Coincidence? I think not. (Use party emoji)
Tequila Mockingbird… You’ve Reached The End!
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