92+ Bottle Jokes & Puns: You’re Bottled In For Laughs!

Get ready to laugh your bottle caps off! πŸ˜‚ This isn’t your average list of jokes, folks – we’ve got the best, the funniest, the most clever puns about bottles you’ll find anywhere. Whether you’re a kid or just young at heart, these jokes are sure to quench your thirst for humor! πŸ’§ So grab your water bottle, get comfy, and prepare to be bottled over with laughter! πŸ˜„

Top Bottle Jokes – Best Picks

  1. Why did the water bottle get in trouble at school? It kept getting into splishy situations!
  2. What do you call a bottle of water that’s always complaining? A whine-bottle!
  3. My new water bottle has a motivational quote printed on it every day. Today’s quote: “I’m so thirsty, I could cry.”
  4. I bought a water bottle that’s shaped like a book. I’m trying to appear well-hydrated.
  5. Why did the baby bottle laugh? It was full of milk and cookies!
  6. How do trees get on the internet? They log in! But don’t tell that to the water bottle, it will feel bottled up inside.
  7. Why are water bottles so bad at poker? They always fold under pressure!
  8. My therapist told me to picture my problems as bottles on a shelf. So I bought a bunch of expensive water bottles – now my problems look amazing!
  9. What does a bottle of soda call its dad? Pop!
  10. Why did the bottle of orange juice trip? It was looking at its concent-rate.
  11. Where do bottles sleep? Under the coversheet!
  12. I told my friend to try this new bottled water. He said, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” So I poured him a glass.
  13. What did the water bottle say to the soda can? You’re soda-pressing!
  14. I’m friends with all the bottles in my fridge. You could say we’re really tight!
Ultimate collection of Best Bottle Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever Bottle Puns – Best Picks

  1. Why did the bottle break up with the water? Because they couldn’t see eye to eye! (Plays on the phrase “see eye to eye” and the fact that bottles hold water)
  2. What did the bottle say to the wine? You’re the grape-est! (Plays on the word “grape” and the fact that wine is made from grapes)
  3. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of bottle? A high-seas bottle! (Plays on the word “high seas” and pirates’ association with the sea)
  4. My therapist told me to express my bottled-up feelings. Now I have a sticky mess all over my hands. (Plays on the phrase “bottled-up feelings” and literal bottles)
  5. I used to have a job collecting empty bottles. It was soda-pressing! (Plays on the word “soda” and the phrase “so-pressing”)
  6. That recycling bin is full of potential! It’s just bursting with bottle-ivities! (Plays on the words “bottle” and “activities”)
  7. The lonely bottle sat on the shelf, wishing for a companion. “One day,” he sighed, “my cork will come.” (Plays on the phrase “my luck will come” and the use of corks in bottles)
  8. I’m starting a band called ‘The Glass Menagerie.’ Our first single? ‘Born to be Bottle-fed.’ (Plays on the phrase “born to be wild” and the use of bottles for feeding)
  9. My New Year’s resolution was to give up bottled drinks. It’s going swimmingly! (Plays on the word “swimmingly” and the fact that bottled drinks are often replaced with water)
  10. What’s a ghost pirate’s favorite beverage? Spirits…in a bottle! (Plays on the words “spirits” referring to both ghosts and alcoholic beverages)
  11. I’ve got 99 problems, and a bottle of wine just solved about 7 of them. (Plays on the song “99 problems” and the common association of wine with relaxation)
  12. I tried to explain to my dog that licking the recycling wasn’t a hobby, it was a bottle-neck! (Plays on the phrase “bottleneck” and the image of a dog’s head getting stuck in a bottle)
  13. You know what they say: ‘Waste not, want not.’ Unless it’s a message in a bottle. Then, waste away! (Plays on the phrase “waste not, want not” and the image of tossing a message in a bottle into the vast ocean)
  14. Life is like a bottle of fine wine. They both get better with age… or at least that’s what I tell myself after finishing the entire thing in one night. (Plays on the idiom comparing life to wine and the humour of overindulging)
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Funny Bottle One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Bottle Jokes

  1. I tried to explain to my water bottle it was half empty, but I think it’s in denial.
  2. Heard about the bottled water shortage? It’s a very draining situation.
  3. My therapist told me to express my bottled-up anger. Now I have a very colorful driveway.
  4. That thermos is always so full of itself; I guess you could say it’s got a bit of a bottle ego.
  5. Why did the bottle break up with the plastic lid? Because they couldn’t see eye to eye.
  6. My friend tried to become a bottle flipper…turned out he was just really bad at putting the cap back on.
  7. What do you call a bottle that’s always joking? A wisecracker!
  8. You know, I used to be addicted to the bottle…but then I realized I could just open it myself.
  9. My bottle of soda keeps telling me to quit my day job and pursue my dreams. It says, “Just dew it!”
  10. I saw a bottle of ketchup get into a fight with a bottle of mustard. It was a saucy situation.
  11. I thought I saw a talking bottle of mouthwash, but it turned out to be just a bit of Listerine propaganda.
  12. You can tell a bottle is getting old when it starts reminiscing about the good old days…back when it was a ship in a bottle.
  13. My water bottle is starting to think I’m stalking it. I can’t go anywhere without it saying, “Water you doing here?!”
  14. I tried to give my bottle of water a pep talk…it just looked at me with a blank expression. No emotion, just…still water.
  15. Never get into an argument with a bottle of glue. They always have a point.

Bottle QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Bottle

  1. Q: What did the excited water bottle say to the soda bottle after a long day? A: “Hey! What’s shaking?”
  2. Q: Why did the water bottle get in trouble at school? A: It kept getting into splish-splashes with the other drinks.
  3. Q: Why don’t bottles ever tell secrets in the woods? A: Too many little dewi-tails around!
  4. Q: What kind of music do stylish water bottles listen to? A: Hip-flask.
  5. Q: What did the sad bottle say after failing its audition? A: “I just couldn’t… ketch-up.”
  6. Q: What do you call a water bottle that always spills? A: A sloppa-container!
  7. Q: Why are water bottles always so calm and collected? A: They’re always chillin’.
  8. Q: Do you know what the bottle said to the motivational speaker? A: “You’ve really inspired me to be more open-bottled!”
  9. Q: What do you get if you cross a water bottle with a detective? A: Sherlock-Hydration!
  10. Q: What’s a water bottle’s favorite dance move? A: The Bottleneck Boogie!
  11. Q: Why was the baby bottle so spoiled? A: It was always getting formula-tered on!
  12. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo who carries juice? A: A pouch potato!
  13. Q: Why did the bottle break up with the thermos? A: It said the thermos was too cold-hearted!
  14. Q: What’s a water bottle’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: The Taming of the Screw.
  15. Q: Why did the bottle blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Dad Jokes About Bottle: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I told my water bottle it was time to go to work. It replied, “Nah, I’m feeling bottled up today.”
  2. What did the excited bottle say before the big race? “I’m ready to bolt-le!”
  3. My wife hates it when I steal her reusable water bottle. I have to admit, it’s a bad habit-at.
  4. Why are bottles so forgiving? Because no matter how full you fill them, they never hold a bottle grudge.
  5. What’s a baby bottle’s favorite type of music? Anything bottle and blues.
  6. My son tried to convince me that drinking from a bottle is good luck. I told him, “Don’t bottle it up!” Just tell me what you want.
  7. I used to be a bottle maker, but I got fired. Apparently, I had too many bottlenecks in my process.
  8. Remember that magician who could walk on water? Turns out, it was just bottled up rage.
  9. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the park… in a water bottle. Now that’s a web site I don’t want to visit again.
  10. You know you’re addicted to collecting bottles when… you find a message in one and think, β€œThis could be the start of a beautiful friend-ship.”
  11. What do you call a bottle of water that’s always getting into trouble? A real trouble-maker. (Get it? Bottle-maker!)
  12. My friend tried to start a water bottle company, but he capped out after just a few months.
  13. Why did the bottle break up with the can? Because their love was soda-pressing.
  14. You know what they say: You can’t judge a bottle by its label… unless it’s a wine-ing label!
  15. What’s a painter’s favorite type of bottle? A squeeze-bottle of inspiration!

Bottle Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. What did the baby bottle say to the big bottle? “Hey! You look bottled up! Wanna play?”
  2. Why did the water bottle go to school? To get a little bottled knowledge!
  3. Why are bottles so strong? Because they’re always feeling up to the task!
  4. What kind of music do bottles listen to? Anything bubbly!
  5. What did the bottle say to the water? “Let’s hang out!”
  6. What happens when a bottle tells a secret? It gets poured out!
  7. Why did the bottle break up with the juice box? They couldn’t see eye to eye!
  8. I saw a water bottle running a race… …it was off to a splashing start!
  9. What do you get when you cross a bottle and a kangaroo? A hop-tainer!
  10. What’s a bottle’s favorite game? Spin the bottle (of course!)
  11. Why are bottles always invited to parties? They’re great at holding their own!
  12. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bottle. Bottle who? Bottle tell you later, I’m thirsty!
  13. How do bottles say goodbye? “See you later, gator!”

Bottle Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. Why did the wine bottle break up with the beer bottle? They had too many fermented feelings for each other.
  2. You know you’re getting old when… You remember when “bottle service” meant a milkman.
  3. I saw a sign that said, “Antique Bottles Sold Here.” So I asked, “Any from the good ol’ days?”
  4. What did the water bottle say to the anxious wine bottle before the party? Just chill, we’ll sparkle together.
  5. My doctor told me to drink more water… So I married my therapist. Now I have bottled emotions and plenty of H2O.
  6. Retirement is like a fine wine… I’m just trying to figure out if I’ve been corked or decanted.
  7. I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my grandson… He looked at me like I had just opened a bottle of 1945 ChΓ’teau Mouton Rothschild… with my teeth.
  8. How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It’s a vintage Edison bulb, you wouldn’t understand. Just hand me that craft beer bottle.
  9. Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? Too many cheetahs. Especially after a few bottles of that fermented jungle juice.
  10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high… She seemed shocked, especially since I said it while opening my second bottle of Malbec.
  11. My therapist told me to confront my childhood demons… So I invited them over for a seance and a bottle of something strong. Turns out, they’re lightweight drinkers.
  12. I went to a seminar on time travel last night… It was bottled lightning… in a can. They served cocktails in beakers. It was wild.
  13. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… Then I turned myself around. Now, I just enjoy a quiet night with a good book and a bottle of something bubbly.
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Bottle Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. Just bought a water bottle shaped like a book. I’m not sure if I should read it or drink it. #HydratedAndConfused
  2. My therapist told me to control my anger. So I bought a bottle of it. Now I have bottled anger, and a drinking problem. #TherapyWin?
  3. You know you’re running low on motivation when your to-do list is just a water bottle that says “Fill me.” #Goals
  4. What’s the most emotional beverage? Water. It’s always bottled up. #DeepThoughts
  5. My New Year’s resolution was to be more positive. I’m off to a great start, already half empty bottle of champagne! #NewYearNewMe
  6. I tried to explain to my water bottle it was half full, but it was still half empty. What a negative Nancy. #StayHydrated
  7. My bank account is like a shampoo bottle: almost empty with a tiny bit left that’s impossible to get to. #BrokeLife
  8. Just saw a ghost drinking out of a water bottle. Guess even the supernatural need to stay hydrated! #SpookyHydration
  9. I thought about becoming a sommelier, but I couldn’t handle the pressure of opening a bottle in front of people. #SocialAnxiety #WineNot
  10. I spilled coffee on my keyboard this morning. Now it’s making type-os and asking for another bottle. #CaffeinatedChaos
  11. Life is like a bottle of hot sauce. Use sparingly, unless you like to live dangerously. #SpicyLiving
  12. Tried to start a band called “The Recycling Bins.” We were going to be huge, then someone threw us away like an empty bottle. #BandLifeStruggles
  13. Someone left a love letter in my empty wine bottle. Must have been a very strong vintage. #RomanceIsAlive

Bottled Up the Fun? Share These Corkscrewing Jokes!

We’ve emptied our stash of bottle jokes and puns, hoping they quenched your thirst for laughter! If you’re still feeling parched for more punny fun, don’t bottle it up! Head over to our website and explore a whole ocean of hilarious jokes. You’re shore to have a whale of a time!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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